₦airaland Forum

Balancing:
I subtly stated it in my post

Newlymarried:
Just 11 weeks and he looks like this,what if he had stayed 1 month,that's obituary!

The oppressors humbled him.

Omenlon:
Apapa -oshodi -oworishoki road was reconstructed by Dangote in conjunction with hi Tech and is one of the best roads in Lagos today.

advanceDNA:
Yeah...u are right....it's the man's fault for talking about the surgery with her...so he must pay for it now they need money for something more important....I mean why will he even talk about it and make the wife feel like that...and u know... the surgery cant be done later because shes feeling insecure right now..

bet9ja:
@Op, The did has been done. Your next step is to raise the balance by all means, come back to Lagos and get someone that will revalidate the car for you with scanner, also confirm the documentation and make payment as soon as possible. You actually took high risk with the way you went about it, your uncle should have guided you better, he really messed up.

blackbone989:
What he did is normal. How can u b so shallow minded? If I have 10m to deposit,trust me I know what am doing. U can't guy me. No one will short change him. We are now wiser n dealing with people.

Fahvvy:
This is why elders say it is unwise to allow your wife know about your finances - whilst transparency is encouraged, women in general have shown a reputation of putting frivolities above the welfare of their man (and family) especially when finance is involved ...

And no, you're no being unreasonable, your wife is the one being selfish here ...

She has that much savings and yet she's not thinking of supporting the travels of the family, rather she's even suggesting that you take out of your budgeted travel funds for some unnecessary surgery ...

This may sound harsh, but then, if your wife is making a fuss outta this, then I pity what you'll face when you're out of Naija ...

But then again, don't make any assumptions, speak to her about it in the kindest of ways you can think of and try to make her understand why that surgery is unnecessary ...

I wish you good luck ...

Balancing:
Hello Nairalanders,

I need advice because I'm not sure if I'm being selfish or if my wife is acting unreasonable and out of line.

I've been married to my wife for about two years now, and we have a son. We're currently planning to relocate, and by God's grace, we should be out of this country in a couple of months.

My wife and I have discussed severally even before marriage about her getting cosmetic surgery after we finishe having all our children, which I’ve always felt is a nice idea. I've always mentioned that it should happen later, after she's done giving birth. Recently, she brought up the possibility of getting the surgery done sooner, and I thought she was joking. However, she kept repeating it and then I playfully said she could go ahead if she had the money, I didn't think she was serious and if even if she was , I didn’t think it was something that would be up to 3M( pardon my ignorance)

However, she brought it up again three weeks ago, and I realized she was serious. When I asked how much it would cost, she told me it was 8 million naira. I was shocked cause it was even way more than I expected. Now, My wife is a businesswoman, and while her business is doing well, I feel she can afford the surgery but it's really going to eat probably 90% of her savings.

She knows I have savings of about 25 million naira, which I've been accumulating for years for our relocation. Also, recently, I’ve spent around 5 million on processing the move, and I intend to use the remaining funds for travel expenses(flight,e.t.c) rent, food, and living costs for about 6 to 8 months in the country (it's a cheap European country) of which she is very aware cause I have informed her severally about.


I was shocked when she suggested I take some of my savings to help fund the surgery, asking for around 2 to 4 million naira. I found this request annoying and unreasonable. Although she didn't ask directly, but where does she expect me to get that kind of money if not from the savings?

To me, her body is still in good shape, although not as great as it used to be but I understand it was caused by child birth and I feel she is better than most ladies/ mother of one in terms of body shape( even though she feels the boobs aren’t firm anymore and the stomach isn’t flat anymore but I’m not complaining and it’s okay to me, she’s still very attractive to me ) , while I understand her desire for improvement, I think it should wait until we’re more financially stable. We should be focusing on investing and accumulating wealth, not spending on what I see as a luxury. Now, she's a matured lady as that was one of the reason I married her. We are both in our 30s also. So I really do not understand why this sudden frenzy about body work. Worst off, she doesn’t seem to have a sensible reason for wanting to do it now. All she says just doesn’t make sense cause the only thing I can grab from everything she’s said was she wants to look better and with the way Nigeria is going , it’s going to be way expensive in coming years.

Additionally, I feel it was unfair for her to bring this up suddenly, especially since she didn’t communicate this desire early enough. If she had, I might have been able to save up some money for her. Instead, it feels like she’s trying to make me touch the savings without saying it directly, which I feel is very disappointing.

I have told her point blank that I cant touch that savings and even if I want to give her something it won’t be substantial cause I really don’t see the necessity of the surgery at this time and it's coming very impromptu . Not wanting to sound like an unsupportive husband, I told her I can give her something but I don’t know how much yet. She asked for the range and I told her I'm not sure but it can't more than 800k and she said okay, but I know she’s unhappy with that amount.

Since our discussion, she's been trying to act like everything is fine but I know deep down she's angry cause she's been giving some kind of silent treatment which she knows I hate. Thinking about the issue just spoils my mood and makes me angry, no matter how hard I try to think about it, I feel even madder for even wanting to give her something as much as 800k cause i don’t feel happy about it and I'm sure she even feels it’s too small( which is what makes me angry cause I’m squeezing an unplanned 800k and she feels it’s way too to small or equal to me not giving her anything)

So, what do you guys think? Am I being unreasonable? Feel like I should discuss with someone but we have agreed not to discuss stuffs with third party that’s why I’m coming here to do this anonymously

I know if I try to discuss with her to ask if she’s acting this way because of how our last discussion ended, she’ll deny that it’s not it and nothing is wrong.

I apologize for the lengthy post, but I'm open to questions or clarifications.

Thank you for your advice.

BigBrother9ja:
Girls wey dey sleep with dogs 🐕
Because of few thousands, u come dey talk of this one.
What's the difference between this one and
Ned
Obj
Osho baba
Edo gov etc

Oceanfl0w:
Saw a video of his final moments. Dude was tired of running. He knew his time was up. RIP


Violence is never the answer.

musicwriter:
What you should do is advise them to tip you if a customer wants to receive such amount. Or at least require the POS attendants to have the customer fill some form if receiving above 500k as you instructed.

Then, leave the POS guy to return to his business because he didn't commit any crime.

CoronaVirusPro:
His next of kin will be the happiest man alive as of date.

BloodyDoe:
How bitter your life must be to turn this normal thread to your misogynist field.

A 14 or 15 years old boy wrote such thing letter to an adult woman and all you could say was how she brought the incident to SM

Smh

Topman7:
The crime was committed on the premises of the station, in her role as a broadcaster, so of course they will go there.

Some people sef.

DaHitler:
It's fine. Democracy is working. Owell, hopefully we do not get a thief in Aso Rock.

Rexymania:
Nigeria must apologize bcus what they did was wrong... Take it or leave it

JoeRizzla:
The tables have been turned around now they're crying on social media, they did it first in first leg

Quelme:
Under this Tinubu led administration, Nigerians home and away just keep breaking and setting good records back to back!!!

God bless our president!!!

MIKOLOWISKA:

Nigerian figure of speech




Are you comparing 2 billion dollars export with 12 billion import?



You expect 64 yrs of rot to disappear in 6 months?


if you want progress then you must care who is in the hot seat
Crude is nowhere near our quota
We are at 1.7 million barrels instead of 2.6 million and we have mortgaged like 5 years future production to get loans now so no more dollar coming in anytime soon except maybe if dangote starts to produce and export or offset our dollar demand even though I can tell you for free it will just free up more dollars to import other things we don't produce here so same Noni

MIKOLOWISKA:
Oil 2.6 million barrels
Guess how much we exchanging now
Also were we demanding the same amount of imported goods then and now? Luxury cars, homes, electronics, food, yes food
Demand and supply remains undefeated
But continue arguing instead of producing
Let's see if your annoyance will change anything

Pepperdemisback:
I have said this several times that this person is a scam and will soon open a GoFundMe to cash out from fools and they will fall for it.
Nigeria has produced so many idiots, that you will come across 1million in every second.
Next is to celebrate his properties and cars before the mumu eyes go open.

Private account used for raising funds? .Who begs to give? What a Country of foolish idiots!

An NGO is opened separately with a registered name, then managers of funds.

Righthussle:
Thieves. The one I hate pas na Ibiyomie.

MIKOLOWISKA:
Plenty sense
What are you producing for exchange?