₦airaland Forum

Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts.

Dollarship:
Haaa Op how many times did I call you No give her oh see am experiencing the same by the way she left saying she go leave me alone for a rich guy I shock bro we are no longer dating...All I have spent on her is like waste.....NA MONEY DEM LOVE,NO MONEY BYE..My opinion though

This is simply the summation of my analysis and thoughts on her.

Much as I love her, I can't marry her now. The burden go be too much, it's better we both go our paths and find what exactly we want.

Thanks for the thought.

yvelchstores:
The honest truth is that she is money driven. She has mind o to be insisting u sponsor her education. If u are considering this, then go to her parents and pay bride price. She can now go to Skl as ur wife. As she is the only child, it's no news that her parents are hoping for a rich reckless spender for a son in law. If u feel the pressure Pls just waka.

LOL!

The nursing school is just a phase towards the completion of her BSc.

In like 2 years, she'll be done and certified.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts.

Acidosis:
Oh!! She
doesn't even have any tertiary qualification and she's demanding a statement of account?

Nawa oo, ordinary SSCE and she's asking for a statement of account??

Just get ready to give her your will and that of your daddy by the time she's through with her nursing school.

Run for your life bro

Thanks for your opinion.

Space no dey Nairaland to dey talk random donations I've made ( even this week).

tayebest:
you sound stingy and frustrated

After thought 1:

- She's has shown all tendencies of leaving the relationship should another guy who's richer than me surfaces.

- Her mum is prejudiced against Yorubas. (They are Igbos).

- If I give her she'll be happy and jump up. If I don't, she she'll be mad at herself.

- Whether I give her or I don't, she'll leave the relationship if she wants to leave.

- I don't believe in buying love. Let it spring from the heart and test it real good.

- However, this education is critical to her life.

So, my babe whom I'm thinking of marrying in the next years has messaged me to request financial support.

Here's it; She needs to go to nursing school and I heard she needs 140k for processing and 150k as the main fees. Roughly 300k.

She's the only child of her parent, as such, I'd think her parent should be able to cater for her but now she's asked how much will I contribute to the 140k first as she has seen 70k at the moment.

Mind you, she'd asked me some months back if I'll sponsor her fully for the nursing school and I said no that she's not my legal property for now, rather, her parent's. She got mad at me for that.

For my mind, I really no wan get anything to do with her education as that might seem as a point of commitment for both parties. Meanwhile, she's been showing some signs that are me making question my intent in having her as my future partner, this coupled some spiritual revelations.

You can read up more about the whole issue here: 
https://www.nairaland.com/3869124/why-girlfriend-asking-bank-statement

Do you guys think I should do?

After thought 1:

- She's has shown all tendencies of leaving the relationship should another guy who's richer than me surfaces.

- Her mum is prejudiced against Yorubas. (They are Igbos).

- If I give her she'll be happy and jump up. If I don't, she she'll be mad at herself.

- Whether I give her or I don't, she'll leave the relationship if she wants to leave.

- I don't believe in buying love. Let it spring from the heart and test it real good.

- However, this education is critical to her life.

So, my babe whom I'm thinking of marrying in the next years has messaged me to request financial support.

Here's it; She needs to go to nursing school and I heard she needs 140k for processing and 150k as the main fees. Roughly 300k.

She's the only child of her parent, as such, I'd think her parent should be able to cater for her but now she's asked how much will I contribute to the 140k first as she has seen 70k at the moment.

Mind you, she'd asked me some months back if I'll sponsor her fully for the nursing school and I said no that she's not my legal property for now, rather, her parent's. She got mad at me for that.

For my mind, I really no wan get anything to do with her education as that might seem as a point of commitment for both parties. Meanwhile, she's been showing some signs that are me making question my intent in having her as my future partner, this coupled some spiritual revelations.

You can read up more about the whole issue here:
https://www.nairaland.com/3869124/why-girlfriend-asking-bank-statement

Do you guys think I should do?

Accountant for what nau?

Ain't even sure if the investment portfolio and you want me to be accounting for what?

Carry your link go forward abeg.

All the best, guys.

I recently ventured into cassava and maize farming.

However, I'm beginning to feel that the guys handling the farm have been shortchanging me.

Here's the quote we've been working with. Kindly help check and provide an assessment;

Rental of 1 acre = N8,000
Clearing of land = N18,000
Buying of cassava stem = N5,000
Buy of maize seedlings = N2,000
Planting of maize = N2,500
Planting of Cassava = N4,000

TOTAL COST OF PLANTING CASSAVA & MAIZE ON 1 ACRE = N41,500

This is outside of miscellaneous collections. Do you think this rate is fair and market friendly?

Hahahahah! This will really be interesting to watch but I'm a Christian with legal brain.

Acidosis:
Go to the bank and request for a loan of N50m, wire the money into your account, print your balance and forward a copy to her and her mother.



You know what to do next, right?




Dump her and refund the loan. Move on with your life sir and leave her and her family in total disarray, confusion and regrets. To find another young guy with REAL N50m liquid cash (not assets) is not a child's play; she may take another 10 years looking for the impossible.

Valid.

But I've told her all these. My salary, job prospects and all. Told about my side hustles and my landed property.

I just tire for the babel but I love her, but not without logic.

Evaberry:
It's normal for a girl who wants to marry a guy or wants a serious relationship with him to ask him what he earns, if he has savings? if he has a land and what are his plans for the future etc


for me these are questions I would normally ask a person that I'm considering being in a serious relationship with

That's exactly my thought.

eyinjuege:
Please, forget about marrying her for now and face your work.
She'll probably break your heart and marry the next money bag that comes her way, anyway.
If she's interested in you, she should also face her hustle while you face yours. In 2 years time when you're both ready to settle down, you can both do your audits and see what each person is bringing to the marriage.

So, I've been in a serious relationship with her for almost two years and now we're considering marriage at least in the next two years. 

I've disclosed some of investments, interests and plans to her. But she's been pestering to know my account balance, always asking for how much I have or even an estimate.

I'm really getting pistes with her endless requests.

NB: She's an Igbo lady less than 25, I'm a Yoruba guy less than 30. She's the only child. Her mum feels Yoruba dudes are uncaring and poor, she's been on the verge of cutting off the whole relationship and I think this one only way she wants to finally size me up and decide on the next line of man to pick up.

What do you think and advice?

Epically killing. Guess the lady sef go laff die over thecomment.

kennygee:
The first comment na epic Curse o.

Thanks.

If I could ask, how did you arrive at the maintenance comparison against Toyota? Ever/currently used a Toyota product?

TPound:
maintenance cost is relatively cheap compared to toyota.its also durable and strong... as I speak,I use 1 2001 Nissan quest and one 2001 mercury villager.

Thanks.

Any idea on the cost of maintenance?

dingbang:
ok you should save and buy it then... But be aware of the cost of maintenance ... Let that not elude you.

Thanks.

Will contact you at the apt time.

Any idea on the cost of maintaining a Nissan ride?

TPound:
my brother...with 400k...I can guarantee you a Nissan you will be very proud of. whereby you can even drive you and about 7 of your friends without any hassle. whenever you're ready,just Whatsapp me on 08029898808. save it as Teekay.

Hmm!

Such a valid point - maintenance [THANKS!].

What do you mean by having something to fall back on when the roads get any rougher?

smartty68:
Its a good idea! Owning a car isn't the problem but maintenance is! Hope you have something to fall back on when the road gets any rougher being a young man for that matter! Best of luck!

Thanks.

You just asked a critical question that got me thinking again about the reason for this car.

Primarily, it's for ease of mobility. I'm an entrepreneur/freelancer and sometimes need to be on road. These days, I feel terrible using public transport (the stress), hence, I've been doing loads of Uber and Yellow Taxi. When I look at the cost of those on a weekly basis, I shake my head, considering that some my friends with car spend less.

My other reason will be for status upgrade. As you know, people have a way of sizing you up base on the things you have or do not have. So, I'd be thinking having a ride, gives a better lift and could fast track more business goodies.

More so, I think having a ride shouldn't be a luxury. Out country has only made it so. Just snapped myself off that useless Nigerian thinking. If I have the money today, bros, I go go buy am oooo.

dingbang:
Its a good one... Do you need the car for show off purposes or u need it because it is highly necessary

Happy Sunday!

It's unarguable, owning a car in a city like Lagos makes life better and easier. And as a young man under 30, this is highly needed.

To this end, I'm committing to save up money over the next months to get a car, preferably, a Nissan (Maxima or Altima).

Ceteris paribus, I'm looking at saving 100k each month, with an average of 600k at the end of the year...You think that can get me something nice?

Well, I'm optimist that I can make the cash even the year runs out...I pray everything good I intend or outlook will come to fruition, real soon.

Got any thought on this?

Few years later?

How old are you now?

24sqm:
Mine cheated and got pregnant in the process & was compelled to marry the dude.

She later called few years later to apologize.


Girls, girls, girls..... Their matter tire person.


Still looking for my missing rib tho.

...feel free to express your thoughts, assumptions and presumptions here, just before I come on with my experiential exposé.

I'm just startled by her sudden reactions and pestering. I was thinking she was a more mature lady who could appreciate my struggles and plug into the future but all she's looking for is a made guy with all romantic rims, spiritual muscles and all her fantasised attributes, hence, my been too open with her on some of my investments and career plans.

Was asking if she knew the reason most Igbo guys marry quite late/aged, and she said because they go all out looking for so much money to come marry their Igbo wives, cos marrying an Igbo lady is a lifetime spending and it's really expensive. For her, she's even more expensive, being the only child. My response was, does that make you any better than other ladies from multiple families abi what return on investment do I get from that. It just doesn't make any financial and futuristic sense to me spending so much on wedding/woman, when there are loads of generational investments one could make.

Unfortunately, she's from a low class family, but she's simply jumping out of herself. Anyway, na all the best cos I know the beans must be spilled sooner than later.

Meanwhile, I want to believe that her actions aren't enough to generalise that all Igbo girls are like this,
especially when they're in a relationship with Yoruba boys.

I love Igbo ladies but at this point, man must rethink his steps ooooo. Make I go meet my ofe manu sisters

crismark:
op pls and pls leave dat idiot...dats hw my Igbo sisters behave dis days. all dey tink about is moni without even struggling to make their own although there re exceptions sha. b4 u let her go humiliate her by asking her to show u her own bank statement you'll see hw broke she is..

Lol! This one weak me ooo.

Is it a thing with Igbo girls or just a personality make-up or orientation to life?

MrCork:
..bro..IBO girls here in London all ways ask for yorrr bank statement b4 they give u their phone nombar.....they say it's their tradition....had to show one nnkechi girl my nombar b4 I get ordddnarrrry kiss!!!)true story)

Now this is epic cos she jokingly asked me about having N30billion in my account.

I just smiled, say na from joke we dey sabi true talk oooo.

I tap myself say, bros, you can't cope with this.

she is looking for the boy with #30billi for akaant ;Dshe is looking for the boy with #30billi for akaant

Exactly, my point. It was obvious there were some external influences she couldn't withstand. I've asked several times if she feels pressurised. She's no. But I know that isn't the case.

I just tire for the whole wahala.

jaymichael:
she get someone giving her wrong advice and ideas. When the bank statement didn't work, she used the sponsorship of her education as the next bait. You gave her the PERFECT ANSWER. Just leave that relationship and look for better girl to avoid one kain story later.

Update: Babe just chat me up asking if I can sponsor her to complete her undergraduate programme after which we'll get wedded.

Obviously, my answer is NO! Cos the marriage isn't set and cast in stone already.

I can't come and carry responsibility wey pass me. If her papa no fit give her basic education, must she Lord it over me?

Wetin una think o jare?

NB: Thank you for the responses so far.

So, I've been in a serious relationship with her for almost two years and now we're considering marriage at least in the next two years.

I've disclosed some of investments, interests and plans to her. But she's been pestering to know my account balance, always asking for how much I have or even an estimate.

I'm really getting pistes with her endless requests.

NB: She's an Igbo lady less than 25, I'm a Yoruba guy less than 30. She's the only child. Her mum feels Yoruba dudes are uncaring and poor, she's been on the verge of cutting off the whole relationship and I think this one only way she wants to finally size me up and decide on the next line of man to pick up.

What do you think and advice?

Honestly, the burden of inter tribal marriage could be killing but joyful if well managed thereafter.

Hey people, trust you're good.

I was wondering what the biggest threats to an Intertribal marriage or relationship could be.

Tribal differences?
Knowledge?
Money?
Family Interest?
Parental Influence?
Social Influence?

Would love to read personal experiences.