₦airaland Forum

Imanuelle: Who has yemmy s address ?

WinnieDPooh: Hmnn funny...but honestly this is not a joking matter ooo you need to see those corpers saying i'm tired of NYSC i just thought about NL NYSC forum especially prospective and newbie corpers(JJC). A friend on FB that have been uploading her camp pics with so much joy updated her status today after she saw her PPA. She wrote "NYSC na suffer head ooo i feel like crying" lol. And for the records, she was posted to Akwa Ibom state unto runsing things.

MacCoka: Funpeter! Detola,welcome

yame014: funpeter n shrimati...i sight u o...hw d day dey go na?...

banttieman: WRONG ANSWER

banttieman: When your eyes start running like waterfall, kindly alert me so I'd stop. lol

banttieman: Two birds in front of a bird, two birds behind
a bird, one bird in the middle.
How many birds are there?

(a) 6
(b) 3
(c) 5
(d) 7

banttieman: FunPeter went to USA and had a 1 on 1 meeting with OBAMA

OBAMA : I want to show you how much advanced we are.

Come with me, He takes him to a forest.

OBAMA : Dig the
ground. FunPeter did it.

OBAMA : More….More… More … FunPeter went up to 100 Feet.

OBAMA: So now, try to search for something.

FunPeter : I got a Wire.

OBAMA: You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.

FunPeterbecame frustrated. He invited OBAMA to Nigeria. That
year, OBAMA visited Nigeria.

FunPeter: I want to show you our advancement.

He takes OBAMA to a forest.

FunPeter: Dig it... obama does.

FunPeter: More….More… More……

OBAMA goes upto almost 400 feet.

FunPeter :Try to find something.

OBAMA tried.

FunPeter: Did you get anything?

OBAMA: No, there is nothing here.

FunPeter: you know, it shows that even 400 years ago, we used to have WIRELESS mobile.

banttieman: Customer Care in 2020…

Operator : Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your…

Customer : Hello, can I order..

Operator : Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?

Customer : It s eh…, hold………. on……889861356102049998-45-54610

Operator : OK… you’re Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?

Customer : Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : We are connected to the system Sir.

Customer : May I order your Seafood Pizza…

Operator : That’s not a good idea Sir.

Customer : How come?

Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir

Customer : What?… What do you recommend then?

Operator : Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it

Customer : How do you know for sure?

Operator : You borrowed a book entitled Popular Hokkien Dishes from the National Library last week Sir.

Customer : OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?

Operator : That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99!

Customer : Can I pay by! credit card?

Operator : I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.

Customer : I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.

Operator : You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today

Customer : Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?

Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…

Customer : What!

Operator : According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,…registration number 1123…

Operator : Is there anything else Sir?

Customer : Nothing.! .. by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator : We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic…….

Customer : #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?

Customer : Faints….....

banttieman: Banttieboy [/b]likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

[b]Banttieboy 's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head start on Banttieboy 's gambling."

So he calls the teacher and says, "My son Banttieboy will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him."

The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Banttieboy walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Banttieboy ."

She says yes I know who you are.

Banttieboy smiles and says, "I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt."

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.

She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Banttieboy goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.

So his dad calls the teacher and says, "Banttieboy said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost."

The teacher says, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem."

Banttieboy 's dad laughs and says, "No you didn't, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he'd see your ass before the day was over."

Sotenna: A chinese man took home a white lady, they got down to having sex.

The chinese guy went a round with the white lady, jumped out of the bed ran to the window, took a deep breath, went under the bed and rolled out from the other side of the bed, then got into the bed again with the lady, and had another round with her, then repeated the process again.

The chinese man did this ten times, the white lady was surprised and impressed with his stamina. So after the tenth round the white lady decided to give the chinese man's method a trial, so she jumped out of the bed ran to the window took a deep breath, rolled under the bed and met 9 other chinese men under the bed.

banttieman: Hopeyemmy: I'm coming to
see you honey.
J-slimz: Alright baby.
Hopeyemmy: I love you, I
can't wait to see
you...I'm getting ready
to leavenow.
J-slimz: Okay but honey,
I'm on my period, just
letting you know incase.
Hopeyemmy: My car just
broke down, I can't
come and see you.
J-slimz: Get your friend to
bring you,like he always
does.
Hopeyemmy: He got shot by
armed robbers so I can't
come, I'm sorry.
J-slimz: Oh never mind, I'm
not on my period. The colour of my pant was reflecting
Hopeyemmy: My friend has
just been discharged
from hospital and he
has said
he's okay, he's fine and
he will take me now. I'm
coming sweetheart.
J-slimz: sh*t! I'm really on
my period, just did not
notice.
Hopeyemmy: Damn! He has
been shot again. I can't
come!!!!

banttieman: Let us Laff A Bit.

A Chinese walks into a
bar in America late one
night and he saw
Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan
of his movies, he rushes
over to him, and asks
for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives
him a slap and says,
"You Chinese people
bombed our Pearl
Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese
man replied, "It was not
the Chinese who
bombed your Pearl
Harbour, it was the
Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese,
Taiwanese, you're all
the same," replied
Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese
gives Spielberg a slap
and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers
were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg
replies, "It was the
iceberg that sank the
ship, not me."

The Chinese replies,
"Iceberg, Spielberg,
Carlsberg, you're all the
same."

kpdc85: For your posting to any state of your choice,call me now.08180282327

detola9: I hail o..any news on mobilization eesh in madonna uni?..

stanflex57: Greetings my fellow prospective batch C copers,information reaching me from a very reliable source state that the next mobolization will commence august ending,I just pray we all make this november batch IJN

Imanuelle: .yemmy, bantie, cdfx, hobar , alenka, lewizylee, sotena, odebbs, Omotea , obino , David, Peter, and those other ogas in the VIP section.. .

na ontop iroko tree I dey hang oh,
twale Baba , make I come down ?

Sotenna: Lol! This man self you dey vex oh

cdoffx: but boss no put me for trouble o, account ke?

Imanuelle: thanka Jeny ,
wasn't rosey for me tho,
was hoping tto enjoy a little fun offline with my team and chique, the worms ruined it.



****just a quick reminder. ..... when was the last time you guys dewormed?
It's very very important oh.

cdoffx: being a youth president is not synonymous to being a pastor na

cdoffx: you guessed right

dimplecakes: Sup Family.....

How have u been?? Its been a while oooo....really missed u so much....

I was so busy last week....so much cakes to bake and decorate.

Where are my people ooooooo......@winnie@j-slimz@immanuel@ayoolar@obinoral@funpeter@odebbs@Omoteamac@shawrygal@colornbrushes@tutu@beauty@banttie@David Hume@hopeyemmy......

Where una dey oooo, I yaff miss u all.

cdoffx: boss we just finish e no teh and i still de go attend one meeting o. Youth things for church.
I hail everybody o. Sotenna, mama j, yemmy, imanuelle, shawrygal, winnie, banttie, saintalone, i mean everyone

banttieman: I no get power. I will be your refree. that's the best I can do.

banttieman: I use it. You gotta be watchful. It inputs other words at times and you have to change it. I'm in love with it.

banttieman: Go to Iworoko Ekiti and feel real hostility.