Boss...honestly, I am lost. Your updates are far apart, your story lacks continuity. One might have to go back to other pages and probably read other chapters and would still not catch up. The story started out very well, it was captivating, you caught attention, and what was left was for you to steer in the right direction. Now I am lost, too many characters, story is quite confusing. Instead of going direct to the point, you pay so much time addressing irrelevancies like describing a lady's wrapper and how its hanging, a boy's sandy laps, a man's shirt and all that, all in the name of playing with words.

Hit the nail on the head, make sure not to lose your readers because, honestly I am finding it hard to follow. You have let the praises from people on your use of words sway you into spending more time on words than the story line itself, instead of concentrating more on the purpose of the story.

I duff my hat for bibijay, she caught my attention from start to finish, I looked forward to every update with relish, her story on "allen avenue" was just on point.

Keep your eye on the goal boss, stay in check, make your story less fictional, waste less time on playing with words, this is prose not poetry, there's a certain level of expectation when one is reading a prose, and another when one is reading a poetry. Do not mumble things up. If you want to show dexterity in playing with words, do a poetry, if you wanna show creativity and the fact that you could captivate without losing your readers, focus more on actions from your story, stop forcing originality by spending so much time trying to paint streets or people or clothes or just any irrelevancy. Keep it straight and simple. I hope this helps.

Keep up the good work...its getting boring tho...really

fikfaknuel:


Thanks for your honesty. I appreciate it alot. However, i'm not doing this because of 'likes', recognition I hope to get someday.

I push myself hard, but obviously not hard enough. That's something i'll work on. Please follow, and my other readers too.

All the best bro, I must say its not easy, but let me quickly point out that nothing good comes easy. I'm right here and I'm following closely and patiently too. Your job is highly creative, in the sense that it puts the reader in the scenario in terms of imagination.

Keep up the good work...

Nice morning!

In my opinion, your story is cool, but in the name of comments and recognition, you delay updates, and even when you choose to update, your updates are so little and ends up like a waste of time. Serve the story hot, do not kill the vibe, give them stuffs to comment about...I have been following, but severally I have been tempted to hit the unfollow button. A matured writer would not write for comments and likes, but would write professionally, ignoring the urge and desperation for comments and likes, these (comments and likes) would come with your quality and professional writing. Its like counting stars while losing focus on the moon. Its like seeking all other things and waiting for the kingdom of God to be added unto you, its like being pennywise and pound foolish. Make your updates frequent, consistent and lengthy, make it worth the short wait and make it worth being read.

Cheers!