₦airaland Forum

wunmi590:
Don't mind them. They are used to it on nairaland

GadgetInstinct:
Brand New open box Samsung S9 for Sale. 160k(slightly negotiable)

Contact on Siggy

oses4u:
iPhone 6, 16gb, gold colour, I need a swap deal with iPhone X

battousaiX:
Evening Folks!

Samsung s8/s9 needed...(available now but I no mind TLC)


Frinx, wildchild1 etc

GadgetInstinct:
SA

nonye6194:
Today was the day I was supposed to pick up the new phone, so I planned to get it after the training. MAY came for today's class after plenty 'abeg' (lol). She's the only person I do things with in my LGA so any activity she's not around for, it'll just be weird (lonely) for me. Hence why I dragged her into this one

She finished up her class earlier than me and left so I had to pick up my phone and started heading back home on my own. I boarded a bus to my destination, which the fare was #100. It wasn't long the bus started the trip, the conductor shouted their usual offering slang;

'your money dia!!!

And we started taking out and giving him our monies line by line. I gave a #500 note even tho I had a #100 note with me

I needed the change for the rest of my trip home.

Before I brought out my #500 out, the auntie seated beside me was just poking her eyes inside my pouch as I was going through it. She thought I was bringing out a smaller denomination.

Pipu cannor have small privacy again

Well, to her disappointment I brought out the same denomination as she was holding.

We die here

We all sent our monies to the conductor who collected them and assumed his seat without making any move to start giving out any change to those who deserved them. I didn't bother to stress since we were barely halfway the destination.

Why would I? When my new phone was shacking my head like kilode. Since I picked up the phone after the training, I was so engrossed in it that I didn't pay much attention to what was happening around me. And the 'Creed II OST' album I was listening to made it more fun for me.

*Listen to J Cole x Ari Lennox's song and another by NAS x Rick Ross' too in the (creed) album

Back to the bus story,

An argument ensued between two passengers, which slowly involved more passengers and it turned into a heated argument. I don't really know the origin of the argument but when I saw people arguing, I reduced the volume of the song playing to hear small.

Abi who no like live drama?

The few things I could pick up from their argument was centred around the following topics;

-The Lagos marathon (which was today) and the problems it created

-How much service is enough service. (These pipu went as far as using nysc as an example. And I was seated at the back on my khaki)

-PMB, Atiku, Jagaban, elections

-bla bla bla

Before it was getting too heated for my listening comfort, we were approaching my bus stop.

Finally, I get to get off this bus of non stop talking

The thing about Lagos danfo arguments is that even those with 'not so good' odour will join. And when they do, you sef would suddenly lose consciousness and concede to their own side .


I got down and asked conductor for my #400 change and this uncle said vehemently (as if we were quarreling);

'I no dey owe you any change!!!

Then I went

I was still trying to process what this guy said and before I knew what was happening, he has hopped back on the bus and tapped it (in their usual fashion) as cue for the driver to move on.

Since he was asking for it today.............

I held a sizeable amount of his Jean waistband and forced him down from the bus, as it was about to move. He kept ranting and threatening that my change is #100 not #400, that I gave him #200 not #500. Then a bystander asked him;

'no be you say you no dey owe am change ni

I turned to the bystander's direction and noticed a little crowd was already behind. And it had started drizzling at the same time but I didn't lose my grip on his trousers. Then the conductor started again by saying that my trip charge was even #150 and not #100. A passenger quickly countered him by reminding him that others who stepped down at this same bus stop paid #100 and we all boarded the bus from the same take off point.

The rain was getting serious and the crowd was dispersing. Meanwhile, the driver and the rest of the passengers who were arguing a shitstorm earlier in the bus were all mute during this exchange.


Did I care


Hell noooo!

I was bent on getting my change in full and not even the thought of landing on instablog was going to stop that. Then the passengers started yelling at the driver to move on. The conductor took that opportunity and tried losing my grip to hop back on the bus. Then I did the first thing that came to my head.

I kicked him while he was mid air and he fell down immediately!

In my head;

'Did I just kick down a bus conductor?!

I don kee myself today eh

I was scared I might have hurt him. I was more scared for what he'll do when he stands up, so I braced myself for a retaliation when it comes.


He stood up.


Reached for his pocket and counted out #400 and handed it over to me. Then he hopped back in the bus and they left. He didn't say anything to me, not a word. The remaining crowd behind left, disappointed that the fight ended just before it got interesting.

Still shocked about the whole incident, I quickly crossed to the other side of the road and took another bus to my last bus stop.

This sounds fictitious but it all happened and I'm more worried it happened to me. Why is because I've never had an exchange with a conductor or driver before this day. Things escalated quickly even before I knew what was happening. And I wouldn't have narrated this here but I decided to when I remembered a couple of onlookers recorded part of the the incident. Incase it gets out, you've already heard my own side of what happened. Gossip tabloids would spice it up for a good argument to sprout in the comment's section. Trust outlets like instablog9ja with headlines like :

"Corper beats down a poor conductor because he learnt martial arts in camp"

Linda Ikeji would dig deep to find out who I am and make nysc catch me faster :

"Corp member, Nonye with code LA/18B/0000 beats a conductor at Festac gate"

Our dear NL and lalasticlala wee kukuma nail the coffin with their own caption

"Nairalander, nonye6194 is an agbero, beats up fellow agbero today"


I know what I did wasn't right and I truly am sorry for how it happened. But I needed to get my money back and in full. If not, I would've trekked from Festac first gate to 6th avenue and that wouldn't have been funny in this rain. When I got home, I called MAY to tell her what happened and she was full of regret she left earlier than me. If she didn't, she would've witnessed it herself because we usually board same bus to our destinations.


Thank heavens she didn't. And y'all won't see me anywhere on any blog for this

GadgetInstinct:
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