₦airaland Forum

SultanOfPuna:
I have lived alone in apartment from 2019 to 2023
Due to financial struggles i relocated to my parents house 2023 since then i'm still with them

Now its 2 years and i have gotten financially stable and solid.
I want to leave but my parents are old and they want me to be around them at this stage of their life.


My parents are really old
My siblings are all married except me. My siblings are in different states far away from my parents.
I'm the only one closer to them

I'm the one taking care of the house and making sure things are in order.
But deep down i want to leave the house and go create my own family.

If i leave them and move out i fear that things will be out of order and disorganised due to old age.
Unfortunately no younger sibling to help look after them.

What should i do?

What are the exact age of your parents?
What are their ailments?
Do they have dementia?
Are they able to take care of themselves?
Do they require someone to cook, clean, bathe, dress, and feed them?
How far did you plan to move away?
If you plan to stay reasonably close, you can always go check on your parents on your days off.

My ex will be 83-years old in a few weeks and he lives independently in his own home and drives himself anywhere he wants to go.
The kids goes by the house every once in awhile to make sure everything is ok.
They have a calling routine to check up on him.
If the yard need to be cut arrangements have been made for someone to go cut the grass.

If your parents are still able bodied, encourage them to keep their independence and to get out and fellowship with others.
Sitting in the house all the time takes something away from the human spirit.
Encourage them to get out every other day or every two days to help keep their mental sharpness.

I don't know how things are done in your part of the world, but as a personal care provider, I constantly push my patients to remain as independent as possible.
If they're able to go places, I'm constantly asking them if they're going out for the day.
I have a patient who was on a breathing tube last year.
When he was released from the hospital, two days later I was encouraging him to go visit his friends.

My goal is to keep my patients on this side of the dirt.
Being dead is a great inconvenience to me.
And I hate being inconvenienced.

Step back and evaluate the whole situation with your parents.
Sit down and discuss reasonable and doable options with them.
If they are still independent, establish a doable plan should they need a personal care provider.
At the end of the day, your parents will be making some tough decisions regarding their personal care.
Wishing you success and happiness.

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