₦airaland Forum

ndidibabe: There must be another side to this story. The OP is hiding something from us. What exactly did you to your husband? The humilitaion is just too much for committing no crime.

you are right. how can the genesis of this issue be food or not taking proper permision before dishing food. Some people like wahala if you like eat d whole house and make sure your brother is sorting all d expenses.

What I am about to say might have already been said as I didn't have time to read all the replies but OP I will blame you.

When I was much younger I fought with my mom for allowing housemaids so much liberty to eat what they like and even dish their food themselves but she taught me wisdom, these are human beings that take care of your home and feed your kids, what if they poison your children. You ought to learn to treat people fairly because you don't know tomorrow. I know this has nothing to do with your case but I am getting there.

What is the big deal in food, its not like you lack at home. If she went to take food for being hungry without your consent then you let her be. What is she was so starved and shivering to even remember asking you. Of all things to cause a rift in the whole family.thank God you are not barren or something worse that your in-laws would make life a living hell for you. Its just mere food, why mince food? People let strangers or hungry neighbors to dish their food in their absence, all that is added blessings. See how you caused a major problem for yourself. Being silence and applying wisdom in cases doesnt make you a fool, you are even relieving yourself from the stress and headache of fighting.

Secondly, didnt you know the kind of family you were getting into in the first place that a fight like that is just coming to play after a child? That is why background search and compatibility with hubby and family is necessary at the foundation of a relationship so you don't cry wolf later on in the marriage. I know we all tend to everlook a lot when it comes to marriage as long as we have that "MRS" title to satify the world but early detection & prevention is far better than cure. Often times we all look for perfection and later on when the bad sides start springing in, we can't handle it. You should have known what you were getting into.

I don't blame your hubby for taking sides with his family. When his mom was putting him through school and when they all supported his growth, where were you? Its not impossible to state you probably married your hubby when he was established. Therefore, he must honor his family too. You have put your hubby in an uncompromising issue and turned him to a monster that now beats you up. Why didnt you allow your sister-in-laws to leave first then report to your hubby and let him handle it. Better still, you could have told the sister in a jokeful manner probably while watching a movie or plating her hair or something. I mean what if she was a witch and she reported you for depriving her of food in her brothers house.

Op you have pride and arrogance. work on yourself first. Let me ask you a question? If the managing director of your company comes to your home and eats your food just like your sister-in-law did, will you complain or act like a slave at that point. Probably your sister in law is the low class type that is why you decided to take authority like that. My female friends enter my kitchen and eat as they like even eat my own portion without my consent, its no big deal. That food you are protecting can spoil or rot. Abeg your own is too much! Food of all things for an engineer? Na wa. My advise for you is a matured discussion with all parties involved try and remedy the heat you created with your own hands. You wey suppose dey tell your in-laws to help themselves and feel free to eat and be merry.

Rokiatu,

Congratulations on your marriage. .

First of, I must commend you and your hubby for getting married while still schooling. That is quite a bold and responsible move. Most men won't subscribe to that. Instead, you get excuses of how they want to be rich, established, build their houses and empire before they can settle down but your man married you while joggling school and work at the same time. That is rare quality that should be adored and applauded!

I know the need for a career. I, for one is a sucker for female empowerment and independence but at the same time I believe honor/respect should be given to whom has earned it and honors you back. You hubby didn't make a fool out of you by using you and dumping you, he didn't waste your time, he didn't take advantage of you but rather he made a lot of compromise by giving you the respect you deserve so I think you also need to compromise & pet him as well.

Having kids doesn't stop you from your studies. Pregnant women go to school, infact some schools abroad where you reside have day cares and stuffs like that. You can also find out if they offer online degrees or distance learning so you can tk that at home if you want to nurse your baby or something. Fortunately, you have entered the union and this is even an unrealistic reason to get your hubby angry or start a fight because babies are gifts from God. I don't see anything wrong in having a child early because it enables you time to give birth quickly and get back to shape or focus on other goals you have mapped out for yourself. Nursing kids at old age is not a good idea and God forbid menopause hits women early at 29 to 30 these days, that doesn't apply to you because you are young but its always good to play safe and not play with destiny. Having a child would even build your maturity, outlook as a wife and boost your responsibility/commitment level.

Some have hubbies that cheat on them from a day to their marriage and after. Some have men that abandons them at home as mere furniture. Some have men that beat them etc but you don't fall into that category as such this is not an issue because you were still going to be mama junior sometime soon anyways..lolz. What do you expect after marriage, the next thing is a baby.

I advise you still discuss this with your hubby though, express yourself in a light tone, make him see reasons with you. Above all, the decision and compromise should be reached mutually, jointly, amicably. Don't compel, force, rebel, nag or anger him to prove your point or get your way, that would be escalating and compounding the issue. Don't also start involving fourth, fifth party, parents, families, clerics/pastors and friends, it should be between two of you. Rokiatu, this is not a big deal, Ok! You are a women find that common ground and feminine touch, scatter his head if the need be, you know your hubby, I should not have to teach you what to do probably his best food and style in bed with a massage before explaining or explain in d act, whatever works. Its not an issue so everything would work out. You would even make a sexy mummy with all this your clothes, curves et all.