₦airaland Forum

LMAO

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arabs in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."

"Don't get up," said the Marine, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too."

Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine's other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors... "Why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This SPITTING in shoes and PISSING in cokes?"

....for more cool jokes, visit www.giggleout.com
#dnt forget to give us a facebook like....

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arabs in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."

"Don't get up," said the Marine, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too."

Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine's other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors... "Why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This SPITTING in shoes and PISSING in cokes?"

....for more cool jokes, visit www.giggleout.com
#dnt forget to give us a facebook like....

The man discovered WEAPONS and invented HUNTING,
The woman discovered HUNTING and invented FURS.

The man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
The woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

What men invented that women enjoys?

The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
The woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

The man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
The woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
The woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

The man discovered WOMEN and invented SEX,
The woman discovered SEX and invented HEADACHES.

The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
The woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING,
Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things...
While the women STUCK to shopping.

...for more jokes, visit www.giggleout.com
dont forget to give us a facebook like .......exercise your jaws

One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small town.

On a hot and dry Sunday, the village pastor told his congregation, "There isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain. Go home, pray, believe, and come back next Sunday ready to thank God for sending rain."

The people did as they were told and returned to church the following Sunday. But as soon as the pastor saw them, he was furious.

"We can't worship today. You do not yet believe," he said.

"But," they protested, "we prayed, and we do believe."

"Believe?" he responded. "Then where are your umbrellas?"

...for more jokes, visit www.giggleout.com
dont forget to give us a facebook like .......exercise your jaws

The Jealous husband: My wife, where are you?

Wife: At home love.

Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband : Turn on the blender

Wife: (turns blender on) Rrrreeereeeereeee...

Husband: Ok my love goodbye.

Another day...

Jealous husband: My wife, where are you?

Wife: At home love. Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: Turn on the blender.

Wife: (turns blender on) Rrreeereeeereeee...

Husband: Ok my love goodbye. The next day, the husband decides to go home without notice, and finds his son alone and he asked him, "Son where is your mother?"

Son: "I do not know, she went out with blender...

...for more jokes, visit www.giggleout.com
dont forget to give us a facebook like .......exercise your jaws

A young woman arrived to her doctor with black and blue signs of beating.

Doctor, "What happened?"

Woman, "Doctor, I do not know what to do, whenever my husband comes home drunk he beats the hell out of me, almost killing me."

Doctor, "I have a really good medication for it. When your husband comes home drunk you just take a glass of Green tea and start to gargle and gargle, as much as you can do ...... and that's all you have to do"

Two weeks later the woman returns to the doctor reborn and with a grateful look in her eyes ....

Woman, "Doctor, that was a brilliant medicine! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled and gargled with Green tea and nothing happened! He Has gone straight to bed."

Doctor, "You see how it helps to keep your mouth shut?"

...for more jokes, visit www.giggleout.com
dont forget to give us a facebook like .......exercise your jaws

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping. It was found by Sule and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny and strange. When I lost my bag there was a N1000 note in it. Now its 5 of N200 note."

Sule quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

...for more jokes, visit www.giggleout.com
dont forget to give us a facebook like .......exercise your jaws

A young woman arrived to her doctor with black and blue signs of beating.

Doctor, “What happened?”

Woman, “Doctor, I do not know what to do, whenever my husband comes home drunk he beats the hell out of me, almost killing me.”

Doctor, “I have a really good medication for it. When your husband comes home drunk you just take a glass of Green tea and start to gargle and gargle, as much as you can do …… and that’s all you have to do”

Two weeks later the woman returns to the doctor reborn and with a grateful look in her eyes ….

Woman, “Doctor, that was a brilliant medicine! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled and gargled with Green tea and nothing happened! He Has gone straight to bed.”

Doctor, “You see how it helps to keep your mouth shut?”

Sule saw a plane full of politicians that crashed near his farm When the Police arrived they asked him what happened ?

Sule - They crashed on my farm and I buried them.

Police - Are u sure that they were all dead before u buried them?

Sule - Yes but some of them were saying We are still alive!!! But I didn't believe them one bit.

YOU KNOW HOW OUR POLITICIANS LIE!!! Don't you?

....for more cool jokes, visit www.giggleout.com

#dnt forget to give us a facebook like....

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arabs in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."

"Don't get up," said the Marine, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too."

Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine's other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors... "Why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This SPITTING in shoes and PISSING in cokes?"

....for more cool jokes, visit www.giggleout.com

#dnt forget to give us a facebook like....

Three pastors met & agreed to sincerely tell each other their problems which must be kept a secret between the three of them.

The first pastor said; my problem is money l do steal even from the church offering. Please pray for me.

The second pastor; mine is women. Whenever l see any woman my desire will be to go to bed with her, infact l have slept with most of the church (female) members.

Turning to the third pastor (SULE) to hear his problem he started crying (it took his friends some effort to calm him). When they asked him to continue, Sule was still crying, he said my problem is gossiping, when we leave this place everybody will hear all what the two of u have just told me. Please pray for me!

The two pastors fainted.

....for more cool jokes, visit www.giggleout.com

#dnt forget to give us a facebook like....

Okon : I saw a strap of your bra
Teacher : Okon qet out! No class for you for a week (Another Boy Laughs)
Teacher : Why did you Laugh?
Boy : I saw both straps of your bra.
Teacher : Get out! No class for you for 1 month.
(Teacher bends down to pick chalk, Sule started walking out)
Teacher : Sule, why are you going out?
Sule : With what I just saw now, I think my school days are over!

Hello pals,

am new to nairaland....can someone just hint me on how its going here....