₦airaland Forum

loolzzz..SEASON OF SLAPS(SOS)

jokesmaster:
I was coming home one Saturday evening after a hectic day and found a small bag on the ground. I opened it and behold what I found inside; $20,000 dollars!! Fear first catch me, but I took the bag home and when ...I emptied It, I found some Documents, ID card, ATM card and an Iphone. I thought about throwing the sim away and keep the phone and also dispose the documents and keep the money. After a long thought, I decided to leave things as they were, hoping that the owner would call. Not long after a call came through on the Iphone, I picked and talked with the caller. Apparently it was the owner of the bag coz he named absolutely every content of the bag. We met afterwards and i handed him the bag. he offered me $2,000 dollars but I turned it down , he collected my number and i left. Yesterday he called me and offered me a job at Chevron worth 750,000 Naira per month, a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished, and a 2012 BMW X6 As I was smiling and testing the car my brother just slapped me and said "Oya Oya Oya Wake up eba don ready.

Did you just laugh?

Hit like

Mtcheeeewwwww..wats ds one saying

Wonder1844:
Final did d interview. White men interview dey make sense sha.

Good afternoon.Pls what position where you interviewed for?

decatalyst:
If not for Nairaland, I would have missed the Sterling Call online Test/Interview. I can afford not to check my mails for 3 or more days, but I can't afford not to visit Nairaland for a few hours. I was checking though the Nairaland FP when I stumbled on the thread informing the house on the imminent online test.

Kudos to whoever put up the thread!


It is on the backdrop of the above that I create this thread to keep ourselves updated on this Sterling Call job opportunity.


I checked my mail a few minutes ago and discovered that a congratulatory mail was sent to me since 15th of this month! It was also stated that I should expect to be updated on the up coming second stage.


Pls let's update this thread to get informed.

Ok,so you're just seeing your mail

Good morning!

EroticAngelina:
I created a thread on how to catch guys who only want your body, and guys asked for a counter thread. So ive decided to do it.

I actually typed this list before, and copied it, but i dont know how it disappeared, i cried coz to start typing it all over again is so hard

note, i made this up, i didnt copy from any blog. So bloggers back off!

- any girl girl that appears local and poorly dressed are actually the real golddiggers! Cos they are ready to make money in anyway possible.

- she always spend money too much. Watch closely, any girl who spends money a lot is like to be a golddigger! This is one of the major ways to know them. They spend a lot because they know that they have maga/magas (sugar daddies) that provide the money whenever they want. But a girl who works and sweats for her money will never spend it like that.

- she always tells you her financial problems. When a girl is always telling you the financial problems shes going through, then she is likely to be a money sucker! She never complains of anything else, except money.

-she always want to go shopping with your money. When you complain, she says that she has to look good so that you wont leave her for another girl. Na so!

- she doesnt wanna meet your relatives or parents because shes not spending long time with you, and dont wanna make a bad name.

- most ladies who want your money are usually the ones who fake shyness and quietness. You will never know what they are upto. But the talkatives are usually caught because they can talk too much and they wont know when they talk what they shouldnt.

- 60% of golddiggers are very intelligent, and 40% are not. So be very careful and extra smart with them cos they know what they are doing

- she always ask for money. This is a direct appraoch. Its not bad to ask for money from ur man, but dont do it always or u will be labeled a golddigger. A girl who always asks for money..hmmm think twice about her.

- she is ready to do anything for money. Watch her well. Her eyes shine when ever she sees or hears money, and she is very smart and quick when it comes to money.

- she is never interested in your life or what you have to say or share with her. She doesnt act like your companion, but when the issue of money comes up, shes more than available. Such ladies should be avoided

- she steals. When you catch her stealing or trying to eat your money by decieving you, my dear brother, run away from her like shes the devil!! Cos if you still stay with her after she must have sweet talked you, you are on ya own!

- golddiggers are extremely sexy and can make you agree to what you wouldnt normally agree to if you were in your right senses. Some are even witches!!!

- shes extremely jealous when you look at other women. Trust me on this one.

- she doesnt like sharing any of her things, especially money!

- she is too secretive!

- she always goes for high class stuff. Now theres a difference between a woman who goes for high class stuff with her earned or inherited money, and a woman who goes for high class stuff with a man's money!

These are all i can remember. I hope they help guys
no insalts! Add more to the list!

Ur without any trace of doubt a psychologist..I love ds <bookmarked>.

EroticAngelina:
I created a thread on how to catch guys who only want your body, and guys asked for a counter thread. So ive decided to do it.

I actually typed this list before, and copied it, but i dont know how it disappeared, i cried coz to start typing it all over again is so hard

note, i made this up, i didnt copy from any blog. So bloggers back off!

- any girl girl that appears local and poorly dressed are actually the real golddiggers! Cos they are ready to make money in anyway possible.

- she always spend money too much. Watch closely, any girl who spends money a lot is like to be a golddigger! This is one of the major ways to know them. They spend a lot because they know that they have maga/magas (sugar daddies) that provide the money whenever they want. But a girl who works and sweats for her money will never spend it like that.

- she always tells you her financial problems. When a girl is always telling you the financial problems shes going through, then she is likely to be a money sucker! She never complains of anything else, except money.

-she always want to go shopping with your money. When you complain, she says that she has to look good so that you wont leave her for another girl. Na so!

- she doesnt wanna meet your relatives or parents because shes not spending long time with you, and dont wanna make a bad name.

- most ladies who want your money are usually the ones who fake shyness and quietness. You will never know what they are upto. But the talkatives are usually caught because they can talk too much and they wont know when they talk what they shouldnt.

- 60% of golddiggers are very intelligent, and 40% are not. So be very careful and extra smart with them cos they know what they are doing

- she always ask for money. This is a direct appraoch. Its not bad to ask for money from ur man, but dont do it always or u will be labeled a golddigger. A girl who always asks for money..hmmm think twice about her.

- she is ready to do anything for money. Watch her well. Her eyes shine when ever she sees or hears money, and she is very smart and quick when it comes to money.

- she is never interested in your life or what you have to say or share with her. She doesnt act like your companion, but when the issue of money comes up, shes more than available. Such ladies should be avoided

- she steals. When you catch her stealing or trying to eat your money by decieving you, my dear brother, run away from her like shes the devil!! Cos if you still stay with her after she must have sweet talked you, you are on ya own!

- golddiggers are extremely sexy and can make you agree to what you wouldnt normally agree to if you were in your right senses. Some are even witches!!!

- shes extremely jealous when you look at other women. Trust me on this one.

- she doesnt like sharing any of her things, especially money!

- she is too secretive!

- she always goes for high class stuff. Now theres a difference between a woman who goes for high class stuff with her earned or inherited money, and a woman who goes for high class stuff with a man's money!

These are all i can remember. I hope they help guys
no insalts! Add more to the list!

Ur without any trace of doubt a psychologist..I love ds <bookmarked>

mtcheeewwwwww...itz GEJ's fault!

agabaI23:
Can you help? A cousin is looking for an IT position to start urgently.

Thank you great Nairalanders

Moderator, can you move to front page please ? Even if for one second
Happy new year!!!!

Except he/she wishes to start this January..its a rare opportunity am aware of..send me a mail..(alohwalter@gmail.com)

agabaI23:
Can you help? A cousin is looking for an IT position to start urgently.

Thank you great Nairalanders

Moderator, can you move to front page please ? Even if for one second
Happy new year!!!!

Except he/she wishes to start this January..its a rare opportunity am aware of..send me a mail..(walter.aloh@yahoo.com)

faith2ogesco:
i think it ll b online test

U think!..can you post sections f da mail dey sent to you?

faith2ogesco:
i think it ll b online test

U think?...can you post sections f da mail dey sent to you

funxho:
Got a success mail tho. ;DGot a success mail tho.

So when is ur interview

Mtchewww..the moral of this post is not to expect so much from posts requiring you to admire some funny pictures.ThankGod for high heeled shoes(my personal unbiased opinion)

Harmonyemerald:
Does anyone have an idea of how long. The screening process usually takes because am still a Corper but wanna apply

Harmony,pls apply.You are at a better advantage because time is on your side since your still serving.The highest they would tell you is NO..we don't want a corper.The requirements forOando GTP conducted by dragnet wasn't even followed up(alot of pips would) testify to that.So dr,apply and trust God to help you.The recruitment might take four months or more.Just prepare for da test.Its well

Lilchilz:
Chelsea signed Moses,
Arsenal has Aaron,
City signed Jesus,
Man Utd has an Angel.
The EPL is looking biblical.
Liverpool still think it's a video game so they signed Mario

hahahahahahahahahaha..guy u no well ooo

[quote author=Godfather01 post=29274906]I don't think so bro
Go back to the home page of the e-recruiter,where you have home,vacancies,login..bla bla bla, you would see one relating to 'my applications'..click on it and check your status..thank me later
[/quote

cotmag:
Pls my fellow N'landers. I mistakenly applied for this position twice. Is there any negative implication of this? Pls heip.

I don't think so bro
Go back to the home page of the e-recruiter,where you have home,vacancies,login..bla bla bla, you would see one relating to application..click on it and check your status..thank me later

Thanks alot OP.I've had difficulties downloading three rar files in the drop box you provided.Pls what do i do.Thanks alot

U know the answer!

WORLDWIDE - NASA has confirmed that
the Earth will experience 6 days of
almost complete darkness and will
happen from the dates Tuesday the 16
– Monday the 22 in December. The
world will remain, during these three
days, without sunlight due to a solar
storm, which will cause dust and space
debris to become plentiful and thus,
block 90% sunlight.
This is the head of NASA Charles
Bolden who made the announcement
and asked everyone to remain calm.
This will be the product of a solar
storm, the largest in the last 250 years
for a period of 216 hours total.
Reporters interviewed a few people to
hear what they had to say about the
situation with Michael Hearns
responding “We gonna be purgin my
n*gga, six days of darkness means six
days of turnin up fam”.
Despite the six days of darkness soon
to come, officials say that the earth will
not experience any major problems,
since six days of darkness is nowhere
near enough to cause major damage to
anything. “We will solely rely on
artificial light for the six days, which is
not a problem at all”, says NASA
scientist Earl Godoy.

athorello:
WAEC: 5Bs, 2Cs & 1D in one sitting; 25 years old; 1.1 B.Sc within the last 4 years but in Industrial Physics; 0 years experience. Still thinking of a position I can apply for.
There should be a job for me. If not, I'll consider reconsidering myself for self employment in the midstream sector. 100% Niger Delta Blood!

athorello,you can apply for the Lubes vacancy.Ind.Physicists work there.Just apply even if not listed. No harm in trying bro.All the best.

WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT
MARRIAGE
1. My son, if you keep spending on a
woman and she never asked you if you’re
saving or investing, and she keeps
enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.
2. My son, a woman could be a good wife
to you, some could be a good mother to
your children but if you’ve found a woman
like a mother to you, your children and
your family, please don’t let her go.
3. My son, don’t confine the position of
your wife to the kitchen, where did you get
that from? Even in our days, we had farm-
lands where they worked every morning . . .
that was our office.
4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head
of the house, don’t look at your pocket;
look if you will see a smile on your wife’s
face.
5. My son, if you want to have a long life,
let your wife be in-charge of your salary, it
will be difficult for her to spend it when
she’s aware of the home needs and bills to
pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep
you asking even when all has been spent.
6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman,
the pain in her body is nothing to be
compared to the wound on her heart and
that means you may be in trouble living
with a wounded woman.
7. My son, now that you’re married, if you
live a bachelor kind of life with your wife,
you will soon be single again.
8. My son, in our days, we had many wives
and many children because of our large
farm-lands and many harvests, there are
hardly any land for farming anymore, so
embrace your woman closely.
9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did
meet your mother could be your eateries
and restaurants of nowadays, but
remember, the closet thing we did there
was to embrace each other.
10. My son, don’t be carried away when
you start making more money, instead of
spending on those tiny legs that never
knew how hard you worked to get it, spend
it on that woman that stood by you all
along.
11. My son, when I threw little stones or
whistled at the window of your mother
father’s house, to call her out, it was not
for sex, it was because I missed her so
much.
12. My son, remember, when you say your
wife has changed, there could be
something you’ve stopped doing too.
13. My son, your mother, Asake rode the
bicycle with me before I bought that
tortoise car outside there, any woman that
won’t endure with you in your little
beginning should not enjoy your riches.
14. My son, don’t compare your wife to
any woman, there are ways she’s enduring
you too and has she ever compared you to
any man?
15. My son, there is this thing you people
call feminism, well, if a woman claim to
have equal right with you in the house,
divide all the bills into two equal parts, take
one part and ask her to start paying the
other part.
16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and
I took more yams to her father, if you don’t
meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her,
what I didn’t tell you is that our women
had prestige.
17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to
school because I was foolish like many to
think a female child won’t extend my
family name, please don’t make that
mistake, the kind of female achievers I see
nowadays has made the male-gender an
ordinary tag.
18. My son, your mother have once locked
up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore
it because she was angry, I did not raise
my hand to beat her because of a day like
this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I
never for once beat your mother.
19. My son, in our days, our women had
more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t
lie to you, some had minor painting of their
appellation mostly on their arms, the ones
you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget
that they didn’t expose any part of their
body like your women of nowadays.
20. My son, your mother and I are not
interested in what happens in your
marriage, try to handle issues without
always coming to us.
21. My son, remember I bought your
mother’s first sewing machine for her, help
your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re
pursuing yours.
22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me
and your mother, it’s a secret of growing
old and having children to take care of you
too.
23. My son, pray with your family, there is
a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to God
that knows everything, everyday.e

There is a danger of too much..Smartphones are good but too much of it is bad..call it transferring much of our smartness to a phone.For wateva reason..ds obsession is unnecessary

Einstein foresaw ds

But dats none of my business





















Just passing by!