₦airaland Forum

I will not say I chose to be an observer, rather, I will say I found myself observing things.

My own experience through what is called life has brought me to a point - that things happen because they want to happen, not because I want them to happen.

I have come to a point where I cannot register my opinion without saying; “I think” or “I feel”. And each time I hear or read anything without this disclaimer, I lose interest instantly.

I’ve been able to see (thanks to the internet) that what’s valid here may not be valid elsewhere. It was a painful experience seeing a belief I cherished so much being dragged and rubbished by different belief/ opinion but I find myself enduring it.

I read every books about every religion accessible to me, free and premium, and by the time I began to fall in love with one I see myself still searching for something new.

All I’m searching for is something to give a “feeling” of satisfaction, unlike many believers, I find it hard to believe anything. Not that I chose not to believe but I can’t just settle with anything.

A book suggested meditation on which I spent couples of years but I later realized that meditation happens, it’s not a practice to be mastered. It’s a state of being.

One thing I observed in the process is that my feelings about things began to change, my mentality change on their own. When I hear people say they are working on themselves, I can’t help but ask how? Can I change my mood or how I feel? May be we aren’t the same – I conclude.

Finally, the urge to read stopped completely, I’m alone but not lonely as myriads of thoughts keep me busy; awake or asleep – I felt I was going mad. Is god punishing me for unbelief?

One day, I was exercising my back, I felt dizzy while twisting and I fell. I felt sick for few days and I noticed a painful sensation has emerged somewhere in my head which remained till today.

Initially, the pain was mild and pulsating, sometimes it becomes extremely difficult to speak or swallow but I feel no fear, yet I feel unsettled for no obvious reason.

With the help of YouTube, I peeped into the cranium and the pain seemed to be coming from what the neuro scientist called “brain stem”; a section of brain that consists: oblongata, mid-brain and pons. My attention was drawn to the twelve pairs of cranial nerves and the interest to look further stopped.

I did looked further though but nothing could explain the reason for the pain. Months passed and the pain is now almost permanent – I sleep with it and wake with it. Then, the pain turned into a form of dragging sensation – it was terrible.

Sometimes I hear sounds as if something is cracking, and one day the pain became more aggressive – I felt a conscious pull on all my organs of senses, the temporal lobe of the cerebrum felt as if to collapse inward, while the middle of my head gave a drilling sensation. It’s as if the cranial nerves have turned into limbs dragging everything dragable.

Then I started contemplating suicide but the courage will not come. I tried starving myself to death but the pain from ulcer is too strong for me. So, what kind of punishment is this? Each night I cursed god and lay down with one prayer on my lip – death, but nothing happened.

All this while, I didn’t notice that my facial structure is changing, the way I talk and the drop of my jaw. It’s as if some muscles are loosening up and for the first time in my conscious life, I realized I’ve been nervous all my life; tensed for no reason.

It’s not something sharable because it comes with a feeling, a feeling I cannot describe with words. it’s like experiencing two life in one, I can feel a part of me withdrawing into the background and a brand new one emerging. The kind of thoughts flowing through the mind now is strange.

You may be wondering why is this in religion section even though it has nothing to do with religion or any form of belief.

You will soon no why, just keep your mind open - I believe nothing and I condemned nothing.



Stay tuned.

Kobojunkie:
A follower of Jesus Christ, the Christ in the world Christian?

You are a Christian because you are following Christ.

At what point in your life did you become a Christian?

What did Christian God says about non-christians?

Is Bible the word of Christian God?

Kobojunkie:
You'd have to ask them..

Who is a Christian?

Kobojunkie:
The God of the Christians.

Who is the god of non- Christians?

Kobojunkie:
That "bolded part" is what God and Jesus Christ taught. It is God's Truth to all men.

What do you mean when you say God?

Kobojunkie:
1. There's are currently none in Heaven or in Hell, and you only qualify for Heaven or Hell if you are first born-again. Unbelievers simply cease to exist when they die since there is no afterlife for them.

2. Your soul will only find the "rest" that you give to it. No prayer can do anything about that on your behalf.

I like that bolded part the most and I don't care whether it is true or not.

Now I understand you.

Kobojunkie:
Those questions came as a retort following your own comments. So when you are done being defensive and ready to infact tackle that which arose from your own OP, let me know then.

Everyone was wailing as the body is being lowered into the ground.

I was watching too but not crying like others.

Suddenly my ear intercepts a mournful conversation among a group of wailers.

They were mentioning my name at intervals.

Behold, it's my burial.

Here I am trying to have fun but the whole song is turning into a dirge again.

Now the feeling is nostalgic, I want to go back home and tell my people - I'm not dead.

But the dream will not repeat itself, yeah! The death happened in one of my dreams.

What has become of my dream family; I know not.

O Lord, take my life tonight and let me not return into this realm of discord.

Amen


As you can see

I await death even as I'm typing this.

I'm done living, I want to feel death, I'm tired of being told what death is.

Do you have any message for people in hell or heaven.

I don't know where the train will drop me, but I promise to deliver your message.

Kobojunkie, pray that my soul find rest.

Kobojunkie:
Learn to process my response as they are presented and please stop confusing your delusions for mine.

Again... .

Learn how to respect people's opinions, I'm not your creator.

If you have any delusion that is bothering you so much, consult that which give you so much confidence.

Why should I address your questions, is this the purpose of my thread.

Why are you behaving as if nairaland is your property, do I sound like someone who need your opinion?

Say what you think of me if that's what you're struggling with.

Keep your wisdom and let me enjoy my ignorance.

What else do you want?

Kobojunkie:
Ofcourse there are about 4000 religions out there but since this is nairaland, a gathering of a majority Nigerians, I doubt your OP questions had to do with Shinto religious ideas.

What's your problem for crying out loud?

If a lizard has the ability to write, will it be denied a say in the topic on ground? Or is it not part of creation?

You already told me what your belief says but must I believe you because it's a popular belief?

Kobojunkie, be reasonable nah. If I chose not to belief, how does that translate to an attack on your belief.

I don't have problem with any religion, I'm not just satisfied with any.

Show me where I have condemned Christianity. Ha! Which kind wahala be this.

In fact, I was also raised as a Christian but curiosity will not let me rest, and I will not settle for anything.

Did the Bible not say, "judge not and ye shall not be judged"

So, even if your insinuation about my post is right, don't I have a backing in your scripture?

It's okay abeg.

Dtruthspeaker:
See, Deviation from Post! The issue is not "forgiveness" but understanding the relationship between Creator and creation.



This is just ramblings and complainings. If you have any reasonable and valid things to say, say it or rest.



I am always ready for any reasonable and valid opposition and do not forget the issue on ground.

Valid opposition?

I have nothing reasonable to say.

Now I rest.

Kobojunkie:
Again...

It's okay kobojunkie, this isn't my reason for opening this thread, I'm also a believer just that my own belief accommodates All as a single creation.

I judge nothing even when they don't agree with my stand. Things I don't understand, I let them be.

My religion is reasoning, I'm not static, I belief that, for anything to have existed there must be a reason for it.

I know many questions beg for answer if we remove judgement but I refused to judge anything because they are what they are.

A human child raised in a community of chimpanzee will think itself a chimpanzee unless human intervene.

You're not your belief so don't be too rigid; thinking every existential questions must be explained through a particular dogma.

Everything grows if you're very observant. The belief you so much cherished today was once dominated by barbarism. It wouldn't have happened if reasonable souls haven't intervened.

Jesus was murdered for blasphemy because his concept of god is more liberal than what typical Israelites were programmed with.

You're doing the same unconsciously, even though you're not using weapons. Using your belief as the standard for judgement for all is a mental equivalent to barbarism.

Finding contrary opinions or beliefs nauseating is a symptom of intolerance, it's an advanced form of robotism.

I belief we all are a single process because we all exist in a single space which doesn't discriminate.

You will do well by ignoring my treads if you're not comfortable with my view.

I condemn no belief, and I support none.

Reasoning is my belief and I don't need members.

Dtruthspeaker:
Truth be told, it is because you already know that you are a creation qualified for destruction because you do not do well.

Meanwhile, you do not want to do so.

Therefore, you really do not have any valid presentation because the ground is simply that you do not want to be punished for the evils and wickednesses you have done, like the murderers of that Sokoto student, hence your lamentations.

Up here is the last part of your first submission on this thread.

It was so difficult for me to mention you because if I'm to judge your personality by what you wrote up there, I wouldn't dare mentioning you at all.

It is the highest degree of shallowness I've seen; thinking someone is trying to escape judgement by seeking public opinion for validation.

Your Honda, Toyota crabs are easier to forgive, at least they are your thinking but you assume everyone has the same preference because majority do.

How do you expect me to engage someone with such a horrible sense of judgement in a meaningful dialogue?

You said I don't want to be punished for the evil and wickedness I've done like the killing in sokoto, just because I open a thread for refreshing dialogue.

Are you that obtuse not to know that moderation is part of being intelligent?

How do you convince me that if I engage you in a dialogue ( even though I owe you no explanation), you will not frustrate the whole thing with your selective myopia?

If my post appear so unnecessary and dull for you, what do we make of such a mawkish submission of yours up there?

What does it matter if we agree on a topic or not. Life continues either way. What points are you trying to score? That you know better or what?

I will address the fault in your submission presently in relation to the topic I tabled,using your computer analogy, for the sake of this thread.

Dtruthspeaker:
I will learn from any one who is better than me but that means that such person must reasonable and validly prove that in deed, he has a better opinion.

Therefore, tango with me if you think you have a very solid thinking on this topic of Creator and creation.

Thus, did you not pass judgement over your creation Honda vs Toyota? Or iPhone vs Samsung?

Was your laptop not first CLEAN and viruse free until one day a thing called "virus" was made and introduced to it to mess it up?

And have you not judged your creation bad and fit for destruction?

And, are you in the same place with your mannequins and cars and pencils and and phones?

And d you not praise and reward your phone when it doeth well?

Did you not destroy your phone, pencils mannequins when they fuq up?

Are these not how you exercise power over your creations? Oya, over to you!

Your analogy is faulty and I will not engage you until you can see.

Contemplate more on what it means to be the creator of ALL.

YOUR problem is the world creator which is very inappropriate in this stance.

Computer and virus have creators and there is a user.

Creation out of nothing is totally a different scenario.

Think

Kobojunkie:
Where in my response there do you find this claim of it being only of Christian ideology?.

I can see your responses are full of references from other belief systems.

Your responses shows your operating system, do I need a special skill to know that?

A robot cannot function beyond its OS, that's what religion mean.

Do I have problem with that? NO

But I don't appreciate how your narrow perspective as the first commenter deny this open thread of its purpose.

It's ok anyway

Kobojunkie:
So your mention of the creator, judgement day, judgement line even....has nothing to do with the religion that the idea is typically associated with .I.e. Christianity? My bad then!

So judgement day is only Christian ideology?

Is this all nairaland have to offer?

Dtruthspeaker:
Why not? Is that not what you have been doing in choosing Honda over Toyota? Or iPhone over Samsung?



Did you not have a clean laptop and PCs until one day a thing called "virus" was made and came to mess it up?



And part of that responsibility is to judge and remove all bad creations.

So, now you see, He is Coming to do His Job!



Are you in the same place with your mannequins and cars and pencils and and phones?



Do you not praise and reward your phone when it doeth well?

Did you not destroy your phone when it fuqd up?

Truth be told, it is because you already know that you are a creation qualified for destruction because you do not do well.

Meanwhile, you do not want to do so.

Therefore, you really do not have any valid presentation because the ground is simply that you do not want to be punished for the evils and wickednesses you have done, like the murderers of that Sokoto student, hence your lamentations.

I would have loved to engage you constructively but what's the point.

If you can wean yourself of dogmatic fluid for a moment and contemplate what it means to be the creator of ALL things, you will understand that your analogy is myopic and prejudiced.

When your imagination is wider and your mind is more accommodating, you will appreciate the intent of my post.

I hate nothing, so rest your mind I'm not what you think, rather you are what you think.

Kobojunkie:
1. When it comes to religious ideas, things aren't really open to interpretation. Scrpture tells you what is and either you accept it or you don't. Scripture does not show itself at you but it does require you be willing to be willing to accept what is written without injecting your personal delusions in an attempt to explain it all away in whatever fashion you chose. Where many of those who end up indoctrinated along with those who claim to be "reasonable minds" fail is both groups somehow operate under the same delusion that scripture is open to interpretation.

2. Scripture isn't malleable. The delusion that it is is what lead you to considering of worth the many bullsheet ideas from which your OP questions were based on, questions which make no sense when one considers what is in fact written in scripture as it is written.

What makes you think what I wrote up there is about religion?

And if it is, is your religion the mouthpiece for all religions?

Have you forgotten this is religion section, not Christian section.

I don't need to tell you what I think of religion generally but your submission doesn't make you better than any other believer of whatever religion.

That was an open post up there which I don't think any healthy mind should find repulsive. Are you so insecure with what you believe?

I'm talking about why the division in a single creation, you're talking about what a scripture says.

If you're satisfied with what a scripture says, must you impose it on me?

If reasoning to you is delusion, so be it. The land is wide enough for all trees to grow.

Your sense isn't my sense.

Kobojunkie:
So the opinions born of the mind of the many ignorant men make more sense to you then?

You need not bother what makes sense to me.

Your submission wore a garment of conclusion which is against my style of reasoning.

I belief nothing except that which I feel, neither do I give a fixed answer to any question.

My post wasn't born out of confusion or want of dogmatic answers, rather it's a whistle to the reasonable minds.

Of course you aren't unreasonable but your submission isn't malleable. To be sincere, I don't know what to make of your submission and I'm not that desperate for answer (not from human like me), so no need for me asking for clarity.

We are who we are

Kobojunkie:
They say ignorance is not bliss but I see Nigerians never don get the memo on that.

1. The judgement which you pretend to speak boldly of here is in fact detailed in Matthew 25 vs 31 - 46. There won't be any long judgement lines sins individuals will, as Jesus Christ explained, be separated into two groups... sheep and goats....with criteria spelt out as indicated b Jesus Christ right there in that there passage.

The standard is righteousness and those who are righteous are sealed by God's own Spirit so there is nothing like a situation where you have each stand before a judge to answer questions about past deeds and all that gunk.

In addition, only those who are born-again will qualify for that judgment to come this since only those who are born-again can enter into the Kingdom of God - John 3 vs 1 - 8, where Jesus Christ is King over Heaven and over Hell as you are informed in Matthew 25 vs 31 - 46.

So unbelievers have no part in the judgement to come..

2. Stop spending your mental energy on unverified tales as that makes you look no different than those who spin them. Read the book so you can actually ask questions that make sense and ponder more serious issues in your spare time there.

Says the creator

I've been wandering what the judgement line will look like on the so called judgement day, when the creator will be judging the created.

Can the creator judge its own creation, does it make sense?

The concept of God as the creator (of All), and Satan (the stubborn virus); is it rational?

I think the creator of All should be responsible for All.

I think being the creator of All, nothing should exist outside such and it'll be impossible for such entity to judge anything. That will amount to judging itself, or what do you think?

When I say God, I mean that which is before anything. It's like saying No-thing in which every-thing exists. Like the boundless space that holds the universe in place.

Certainly the creator must be in a space to create. So, who made the first space? Are the created and the creator in the same space?

Or, is the creator the created at the same time?

I'm just curious because all tales of beginning and creation I've heard and read are not meant for adults, they are not suitable for grown ups.

How can I create All and at the same time set my creation against one another just for me to punish some and reward some. Is this not brain-twisting?

Can anyone capture my imagination?

Where is the judgement coming from?

Or, is this what beliefs are all about?