₦airaland Forum

Here’s My story.

I have met this handsome Igbo guy in Varsity (University of Johannesburg), he is doing his PhD in Computer Science and in doing my Masters in Biochemistry. He is 35, I’m 27… We’ve been friends for a while, then decided to take our friendship to the next level, 3 months later into our relationship I found out that during festive holidays (Christmas) he went home and got married. I found out, as I have friends living and married in Lagos, Nigeria and when I was excited to let them know I’ve found a good Nigerian man (sent them our pictures) they were shocked, to recognize him…that’s when they told me he just got married and that they go to the same church (Christ Embassy) with the wife.

When I confronted him about it, he told me not to worry about it because he doesn’t love the wife and that he only married her because he’s turning 40 soon, and his parents are pressuring him. He also said that he only sees her once or twice a year. And that she doesn’t like to come to SA and doesn’t even want to migrate here. I’m so confused, because I don’t know what to make of it, he treats me like a queen and gives me so much love…we do so many things together, go to church together (Christ Embassy) we study together and go on holidays and so forth.

Now what puzzles me, is that in most cases we hear that they date South African woman, marry them to get citizenship but he has his own papers (Study Visa) which now the regulations have changed in terms of applying for permanent residence, he stands 80% chance to get a permanent visa by himself. And also, his wife can also get a spousal accompany visa as well, which would make life much easier for him (What could be the reason to marry someone, an leave them to go live in another country) I don’t think he is using me for sexual pleasures, as our relationship is platonic and he has never asked to have sex with me.

PS: He says he loves me and I love him too!

What do I do now? What could he be looking to get out of this relationship?