₦airaland Forum

What happened to this young girl...was so sad and cruel. May her soul RIP.

Now I don't know how this thread, became a tribal boxing ring. But people, please we are all Africans, let's appreciate each other and stop fighting. This Xenophobic stories are just unstoppable, we cant do anything about it...I honestly feel like Xenophobic attacks starts when a foreign person does wrong, or kills a South African, now that is broad...South Africans, calls any foreign person a 'nigerian' whether you from Congo, Ghana, Zimbo etc...in south African you are Nigerian. With that being said, the 'Xenophobic' issue Nigerians rant about all the time is something that happened years ago...lately its just marches and online complains, there aren't any killings whatsoever...What the tabloids or news papers write isn't always true, because they use old pictures and old stories just to keep or add more clientele or more viewers/readers.

Lately in South Africa, Nigerians somehow have become part of us, we co-habit with them... And everything is going well, why are you all dwelling on old wounds?

Yes, Nigerian men loves SA women vice versa...its fine, let's live our lives and be happy.

Most people who comment on this threads, are uninformed and condemned by who knows what...Ya'll are just sitting there, reading newspapers about Xenophobic attacks blah blah.... If South Africa is that bad, with attacking your brothers...why are they still in SA? If you watch on youtube the recent stories, your brothers are saying that they are not leaving SA, they are here to stay, its now their home...which means they are living comfortably rather... Now what does that say about Nigeria? Every country has its own problems...violence and crime is everywhere (global) So please don be acting like Nigeria is a sub entrance to heaven!

It's the same as having children, and raising them painfully to see them leaving you to go stay with your neighbor...Its painful, I get it. but please 9ralanders, don be throwing us with stones naw!

nonut:
Yawning and laughing meme?
I thought you guys were out to defend your people? The cat got your fingers?
Smart people would ignore, knowing they're in a Nigerian forum and there are many Nigerians to contend with.
But you aren't, so you fight and run your fingers. When the heat becomes unbearable, you post memes to cover up.

Isnt your quote Xenophobic? I mean, you chasing people from other nationalities away?

Just asking! See your life!

ZarZar:
You're absolutely right! The xenophobic ones will always be xenophobic. You make me laugh because you keep regurgitating the same old shit every single time you see my posts. Do you think I'm ashamed of xenophobia? Or perhaps you expect me to be repentant? Tell you what, neither will happen because I'm not an apologist. The only time I'll own up to something, is when I was involved in it, personally. So all your xenophobic this, xenophobic that is wasted on me because I feel not a single ounce of remorse over it. The nerve to keep harping on about xenophobia when your country is littered with homicidal pieces of shit who won't think twice about taking a life over tribal differences. How is tribalism any different from the same xenophobia you keep howling about? Whoever came up with that word really helped some of you because it seems like it's the only "big word" you know, hence you feel the need to say it even when it's not necessary.

Lol...uya ngi cqeta yaz...Tell them shorty!

TheCabal:
If you followed the thread - Why do men like virgin's. You'll find people claim they rather have a "new car , than an used car" since the price is still going to be the same.

^{why-men-like-virgins see thread https://www.nairaland.com/3807701/why-men-like-virgins}

My suggestion is that parent should start giving out there daughter for marriage using "VIRGIN" and "NON-VIRGIN" bride price. I think this will ensure the non-virgins get married at a lower rate or free , to men who don't mind marrying non virgin's but are concerned with high bride prices or demands from the girls parents.

What do you think ?

In South Africa, that is unconstitutional...violating another person sexuality is a crime. But Nigeria is a difficult world to live in...chai!

MZLady39:
Brother,
It was not and is not God's will for polygamy in Christianity.
The Lord clearly states in His Word (Genesis 2:24) that "a man shall leave his father's house & cleave unto his wife".
The same God who created the woman from the man....joined them together as 1 husband & 1 wife.
However, humans have free-will and can choose to make their own decisions in life (Ex. Abraham, Solomon, etc...)
Any choice we make has consequences...
Maybe it's not always about whether something is "sinful" or "not sinful, but rather that God gives us examples of how to do some things in order to save us from future irrevocable problems...
Now is it that you want multiple wives & need justification for it?

What is ur opinion on David's part...Where He was blessed with many wive's?

dingbang:
lol.. I have a big gun you know...

Show me

FEEDBACK...


I spoke with the guy...broke it off with him.

LOL

He refused to let me go, now he is saying that he married his wife to get papers...and that they haven't even signed yet..they just did the traditional wedding formalities n a white wedding to make it believable.

THE LIES...Are escalating all the way up. Anyhow it was so sad how he begged me not to leave him, said things like how he sees us going far and doing great things, and that he wants us to relocate to the UK or the US together...How he's 36 already an dsnt have kids, and he wants to have kids with me, promised me to introduce me to his family to show that he's serious blah blah blah!

But anyhow, I still broke it off...Told him to clear this wife issue first because im not dating or planning any future with a married man.

dingbang:
noo oo.. Its a she...

Oh no no...I need a gun...A big gun if u knw wat I mean

Nickizoe:
Lets air your view about em too...

So what's up??

Well, Im just curious to know...because u knw tht 90% of 9ja men carry big guns...So im asking myself hw do dey handle the AK47 in the A hole...wen we woman cant handle it in the kitten oo?

dingbang:
grace87 someone here likes you....


I went for interview mehn

LOL...Im so bootylicious he wont be able to handle me.

I came to notice that this page is full of uninformed condemned kids... LOL

Do you have gay people in Nigeria if so, what is your take on gay people?

Ths poor guy needs advice, he sounds sincere though.... I suggest you pray and pray harder together with your wife, let her knw how you feel.

As for all of u ppl saying stupid thngs like HIV an all of tht...Woman are woman..it doesn't matter were they are from or if they were raised by a single parent or not. In Nigeria there many bitches n gold diggers roaming the streets just as anywhere in the country...its by ur luck you meet a humble, cultured woman. Yall acting as if Igbo, Yoruba girls are the best thng that happened to earth....


Warris is ths u saying about SA...Fotsek!

VicMadich88:
I met my wife (very beautiful, humble Igbo gal) in 2012, and we've been datin since then. We both from Imo State...On tht same year we met, I moved to south Africa to study an still residing in SA. I see her twice a year, and she visits SA as well. We got married ths past February, and few days after our wedding, I had to return. But now I feel I made a very big mistake by marrying her, not because she's bad for me bt because iv realized I'm not in love with her anymore. I don kno wat to do, she's such a wonderful lady. God fearing, sings in the church choir, young and beautiful, how should I let her know that i'm not in love with her anymore? I'm scared of the embarrassment my parents will bare with all of this? Our pastor at church? Her family? I don believe in divorce, so are my parents...but what do I do in ths situation.

Bullshit, you are cheating on her...that's why you feel ths way. Geraaaraaa here man!

Maduawuchukwu:
Hmm. You are a unique case. Goodluck.

lol you ppl dnt knw wat u want... wen we chase you away, you saying xenophobia...wen we try to help n accept u as our fellow africans, you still complain. wat do yall want exactly?

nonut:
He's married in Nigeria and you still believe you have a chance? Aunty grace, you need prayers.

Therez no chance there... I already broke up with the dude.... so dont worry yourselves.

JanuaryTempest:
But why?

OK, let me be direct with you because I think you're either desperate, gullible or brainwashed. I'm a South African woman just like you & TBH, I think people like you should have their ID books revoked. You're a threat to the security of the country. How could you wanna assist someone into breaking the laws of your country? I was reading another post of yours where you called SA men lazy. It sounded just like a sellout statement from someone looking for...what's the word? Acceptance? I can't think of a better word right now. But anyway, reading that kinda made me feel sorry for you because I imagined the conversations you must be having with this guy, putting down your own people for a man. If you could do it here, I'm sure you also do it with him. That to me is a weakness of the highest order. Sort of like you lost your identity & morphed into his in order to gain acceptance in his eyes. No man respects a woman with no identity, pride or dignity. Identity is not only about who you are but also where you come from. I'd fight & defend SA until I'm black & blue. No amount of tender feelings for another will ever make me betray her the way some of you do all in the name of "helping out". Help out for what? How are they your responsibility? Girl, you need to wake up & salvage whatever you've lost trying to fit in or be loved. Because it seems like you've lost yourself in the process of loving him & he is going to take advantage of that if you let him. I repeat, both of them are not your responsibility! SA have enough issues dealing with fake marriages as it is, don't add to that out of your selfish desires. Because I do not believe for one second that you'd be marrying him to help out as you claim, you'd be doing it out of your own self interested, foolish ways, thinking it'll gain you love or whatever it is that you're after with this man.

I nearly fell asleep with ths long story of yours.... Bye!

JanuaryTempest:
What do you mean by you'd do it for her sake?

For citizenship purposes...Excuse me, I made a mistake I wanted to say for his sake. and incase he wants to bring the wife to come reside in SA.

This is simple, we get married,(We don't have to be in a relationship) just for the papers... he applies for citizenship after 5years...then he will be able to bring the wife on a spousal visa.


That wont affect me or anything, because I don't see myself getting married anyway...I prefer to have a constant partner that's it & at the moment to tell the truth...im not attracted to Southies at all...Anything from West Africa is it for me!

tollahni:
I'm got married when I was 21 nd I have a 5 year old daughter...my husband nd I agreed to have just one kid due to our busy life...of recent my husband started acting funny,He started bringing up topics about having another baby. He refused to go with me to the hospital for This family planning stuff...so I went nd did it on my own...Last week he found out nd since then he's been avoiding me he doesn't want to talk or come close....I tried explaining to him yesterday but he just got upset nd left.....I love my husband....what do I do to get him back?

I can advice you to give him time, let him calm down...Then prepare him a very nice meal, pamper him, give him some good loving...then talk to him give your reasons but consider his feelings as well.

It will work itself out...

Maduawuchukwu:
Hmm. He is not having you for sex or money. So what is his motive? Anyway you should know that you are most likely a temporary feature. The permanent feature is his wife in Naija(That is a normal practice that some Naij a guys do)
His treating you fine but not having sex with you means that he is not attracted to you both is merely trying to build trust and use you when he needs something frm u eg Money,Citizenship.

Will wait and see what his motives are...Its a good thing, im getting all of this advices...it will help me be strong on my ground, not to be fooled by him. Im able to control my feelings/emotions...So im sorted. But should he ask me nicely to help him get citizenship (by marrying him) I might consider...because he is a good guy and from what I've heard about his wife, She's pretty God fearing, a darling they say. For her sake I can do it...

The Bible says: Ask and it shall be given to you.

tollahni:
I'm got married when I was 21 nd I have a 5 year old daughter...my husband nd I agreed to have just one kid due to our busy life...of recent my husband started acting funny,He started bringing up topics about having another baby. He refused to go with me to the hospital for This family planning stuff...so I went nd did it on my own...Last week he found out nd since then he's been avoiding me he doesn't want to talk or come close....I tried explaining to him yesterday but he just got upset nd left.....I love my husband....what do I do to get him back?

You guys are married, you were wrong to go ahead and do family planning without his approval... That shudve been a joint decision.

Thing is when you are married...ME, My, I doesn't work anymore...It's WE and US!

kenex4ever:
I just read ur only thread about dating a married igbo man. I can understand your point clearly, cheating is not common to one tribe. Am sure dat even married southafrican men cheat too.
Muslims marry max 4 wife's to reduce adultery but I have seen Muslims with 4 wifes but still cheating on them....

But d thing is, most married igbo men hardly cheat on their wifes especially d middle income ones but once they become richer Dey tend to look for extra mouth to feed. This is also common in every tribe n race

You are right, most men cheat from all the corners and 4 directions of the earth... It doesn't matter what culture or tribe you are. In South Africa, Polygamy is very common in all cultures... If I can tell you, men here are very scarce...Most of them are taken, an polygamous relationships never end well between the 3 people, one will disappear or die soon (they poison each other)

Many educated intelligent, middle class working woman are now dating and getting married to white men and other foreign nationalities because our men, don't have respect for woman and are lazy... Hence we end up settling with foreign men (Nigerian, Ghana, Congolese) even when they are married back home. Even if its a polygamous marriage, it works for them as in most cases you find that the wife is back in their native land, and they will never come bother you. If he only visits home twice a year, and talks on the phone with the wife in his foreign language, that is nothing compared to him being physically there with you.

It's really tough out here for us women, it has come to a point where we have to share, even when we don't want to. At the end of the day, everyone wants to be happy.

Tuksgrad:
You are a South African woman?

Yes, I am.

kenex4ever:
u no read where she say dem dey faithful to their wives? As in no second, 3rd n 4th wife.
.
Thats d only valid point she made though

Trust me, married Igbo men, are cheating on their poor wives here is South Africa, they don't even want to go home...the only thing they do is send lots of money to their wives at home, for what? how is that a good husband? Ya'll are trash that's it!

South African women are gold-diggers!Period!

I can say the same thing about Naija women...In Nigeria if you are a man and you don't have money, no woman wud want to be with you...Everything in Nigeria is about Money...No money No pussy for you ooo!

unapologetic:
Have been to most parts of S.A due to flying.. From Jozi ( every where in Jozi) to Pretoria, Mafikeng, Rastenburg, Pillansberg, Zerust, George, Knysna, P.E, CPT, E.L, Uitenhage, Riversdale, Outshoorn, Herbertsdale, Carlisdorp and a few towns before u get to Polokwane.. this visits are what made me come to my conclusion about the list I posted earlier.


Most of the hardworking, creative and career driven south African are women... that's why we find them so sexy.

The only south African men that has done well are the old ones and am talking about 45 and above.

Don't get me wrong, I know a few young peeps that are doing well but majority of the men are lazy and they will prefer a menial job than dreaming big.


The women are the most successful... I wish Nigeria could export our girls to S.A and Import S.A girls to Naija :p :p :p :d :d


As much as I like S.A girls, I will never dream of marrying or having a South African Baby mama...

Reasons why?

They see every Nigerian man as Minister of Finance

They easily fall for good looks

They don't have class ( someone doing a menial job can easily give a Big companies C.E.O bend down low without much persuasion.... a classy Nigerian woman always have a standard but that is not the case for a South African lady.

Me still love my South African women but not for Marriage.....

I disagree with you there, many educated and successful woman go for their own class...I for example, have my own house, car I have everything I need...and im not talking about your average...im 27 and have assets that rounds up to 10mil...I have a good job (Biomedical Scientist) and I will never go for a low class broke nigga. Only uninformed and disadvantaged woman would stoop to the lowest level...

Note: You are right about SA woman, most of them are successful and intelligent....and if I can tell its only 2/10 of these women who would settle with a Nigerian man.

Overall we know Niger men to be good in bed, that's why we crazy about them.

Samostical:
Every day as I breath new air, I face more challenges detecting why a hot guy as me will be disturbed about not having or being in any relationship to write home about..... 2012, I separated from my lover because of distance. Same repeated 2013, though I didn't love dis one. On campus, I must confess that I am a hot dog in terms of sociability, portraying of a classic personality and popular as well.... But I don't have any girl I can boldly introduce to even you reading this article. Another issue why I think my love life is at risk is that I always get involved with brokes girls that will tell me their life storylines, which by the time they will finish or summarizes the tales I might have given up on taking weighty responsibility of theirs. Help me

LOL....you call that hot? You full of jokes na!

chachanga:
Eyah, you poor child you! Getting your feelings all mushed up and hopes played up like dis, sorry. But, see, you're still in great shape.


You should consider the poster,Quidditch, above's line of thought; he's on to something you mightn't have considered earlier, y'know?

From the questions raised by ur guy, possibly, not considering settling his Fortunes in SA, your life plans aren't aligned despite all he's telling you and doing with you.

He may not wanna settle down out in Southie for life or to move on from there, let's say, to Canada/US, as you could later feel inclined to. Issues like that will generate problems late in the future and with an intelligent guy like the one you have, his smart ways of solving those problems may not pay you on the long run because trust me, if things go sour between you two, he's gonna sort himself fine, you're the one who's gonna be left hanging. Don't forget he already has somebody while you're looking to him as your "one&only"!

Take it from me, baby girl, as long as you're sharing him with some other chick somewhere, with you holding the short end of the stick, your life plans ain't aligned, you're gonna have to let him. The mere fact that he could travel home behind your back to "Snag&Shag" another lady should tell you that all you have here are the romantic talks etc.

The other Naija homegrown was prolly handpicked or rubberstamped by the family and, I can assure you, all the auntie&"Mother-Hens-in-law" of the family are busy monitoring her tummyline now for the results of your Bf's marital "research practicals" on his new bride! So, who's on ur side now?!

You're way-too-young for all that kinda drama. Dont let anybody tie you down.

As an Embassarian, I suggest its time you "walk-your-(faith)-talk" to the point where God perfects your desired marital dream of bliss.

Dont play a winning game in a losing way. He's a married man. You've dated him casually all this while. He wasnt then, now he is. Disconnect your emotions and plans for future from him and get searching for the best of God for your life!

Thank you for the great advice, I thought I should ask and share my story...After all I still think Nigerian people are great people have nothing against them. Even when this guy is trying to rub me off the wrong way...Well I wont let him!

mexxmoney:
What's there to be confused about Madam? you are a side chic and that's it. You should either move on or settle for being his baby mama at best

True, I do appreciate your brutal truth. I'm smart enough...And letting him go now is exactly what I'm going to do. No matter how I feel about him. Better now than later and sorry!

It is just so sad, that I thought I finally found a true companion and a friend...I was wrong!

SirMichael1:
...yet you quote me?? You've not had sex with him, you love home, he loves you... Oh blah blah.

If you haven't had sex with him and he's married, why can't you just go? Leave him the hell alone and go. Go find your man as he ain't yours. He's taken.

You sound like an angry person...Chill bruh!

Quidditch:
In the long run i[b]t's money[/b], no Igbo man will get rich in a foreign country and still spend all his fortune in that country. His wife isn't moving to S.A? Then surely he is going back to his motherland someday soon.

How is it money, because he's got his own money...and I have my own, even if I didn't have my own...I come from a well off family. And to add on it, he never asked me for money, and never allows me to pay for anything...

Honestly, I think I'm just his side chic to keep him busy, until he figures out whether he's coming back to Nigeria or force his wife to relocate. As he says there aren't any job opportunities or a future for him there.

SirMichael1:
Did things together like having sex right. Men don't want people they can easily have sex with as marriage partner.

No man wants to travel and his wife would go out and have extramarital affairs

In other words, you're cheap and also his side chick

In all of this story, you chose not to understand or hear what I said? what is a platonic relationship?