₦airaland Forum

i only think it should be shut down temporaily because it is addicting.

they are beautiful.

i am thinking about how much work i have to do.

You know you're Nigerian if,

1. If your name is so long, or so hard to pronounce, that you either have some "Americanized" nickname, or you use your middle name (which is English).

2. If, you know what your name means.

3. If you know of anyone (including yourself) that has any of the following names: Ola, Sade, Bola, Tunji, Ngozi, Uche, Folake, Ifeoma, Tolu, Tunde, Obi, Chioma, Chituru, Chinyere, Adaobi, Nkemi, Nneka, Bunmi or Fatima

4. If, names like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Patience, Peace, Blessing, God's Will or Mercy sound pretty normal to you.

5. If, rice and stew just isn't the same without plantain (dodo)

6. If, you would prefer Moin Moin, or Farina (fufu) with soup over McDonalds any day.

7. If, you have ever treated a cold or sorethroat with "Pe-pe Soup", AND IT WORKED!!!!!!

8. If you know what AKATA means.

9. If, your parents or relatives have ever disliked someone because of the simple fact that they were AKATA.

10. (for females) If, not being able to cook stew or soup is one of the most major burdens in life.

11. (another one for females only)If, a Nigerian man who is about 2 or 3 times your age has ever tried to spit game, eeeeeeewwwwww!

12. If, you have ever gone to a Nigerian "get-together" and made a handful of money just for dancing.

13. If, the Houston Rockets was ever your favorite NBA team.

14. If, not properly greeting an elderly Nigerian person has ever gotten you in a load of trouble.

15. If, you or someone you know has ever been sent to Nigeria because of behavioral problems, or if your parents have ever threatened to do so.

16. If, 'afrocentric' AKATA's get on your nerves with those tiger striped outfits.

17. If, when you were little you got FLOGGED (spanked) by someone who of course is Nigerian, but is not your parent, And your parents had their back, instead of yours! (shady huh?)

18. If, as a young woman, you're biggest dilemma is sticking to the regular American boys you date or trying to find a Nigerian husband to appease your parents!

19. If, your parents own expensive ass lace (like 200-300 dollars for one outfit), and they act shady when you want money for clothes.

20. If, your parents have ever compared your life here in America to theirs in Nigeria. (i.e. boarding school, no electricity, fetching water, Nigerian Civil War, etc)

21. If, when you parents curse you want so bad to laugh, but you don't want to get slapped.

22. If, you parents use the word bloody to conjugate words a lot (e.g. bloody fool, bloody nonsense, bloody coward, bloody idiot, bloody rubbish)

23. If, your parents use phrases like "Ewhoa, Chineke, Che, Ah-Ah, Yepa! God forbid or by God's Grace".

24. If, your parents have ever threatened to kill you, break your head, back, or neck, or to "show you pepe".

25. If, any Nigerian kid that you known for a long ass time is your "cousin". Yeah, Right!

26. If, you have a relative that owns a "shop". Especially if it is a shop that caters mainly to foreigners.

27. If, all of your parents Nigerian friends are your "Uncles and Auntie's, not Aunts but Aunties.

28. If, when you are around Nigerians your accent either comes out of nowhere, or becomes thicker.

29. If, you have Nigeria relatives in Europe (especially London, England)

30. If, you have a rough estimate of how many Nigerians are at your school.

31. If, you are friends with someone just because they're Nigerian. (Omo Nigeria!)

32. If, you bond with people more from other African countries (Ghana, Sierra Leone, Gambia, Eritrea, Ethiopia), more than Americans

33. If, you or your parents have some kind of stereotype about another Nigerian tribe

34. If, you know more than anything that your tribe is the best tribe

35. If, you know for sure that the Super Eagles are by far the best soccer team in the world.

36. If, you have ever bought green chucks just to match a shirt that has the Nigerian flag on it, GREEN WHITE GREEN!

37. If, you attend or have visited a predominantly Nigerian church.

38. And finally, if whenever Nigeria comes up in the news, you run to your TV set and turn that volume waaaayy up. And you get sooo mad if it's for another bloodbath or scandal that they're in the news for.

not really, it is here for laughs, to nod your head and agree with everything on the list. i wasnt sure where to post this thing.

You know you're Nigerian if,

1. If your name is so long, or so hard to pronounce, that you either have some "Americanized" nickname, or you use your middle name (which is English).

2. If, you know what your name means.

3. If you know of anyone (including yourself) that has any of the following names: Ola, Sade, Bola, Tunji, Ngozi, Uche, Folake, Ifeoma, Tolu, Tunde, Obi, Chioma, Chituru, Chinyere, Adaobi, Nkemi, Nneka, Bunmi or Fatima

4. If, names like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Patience, Peace, Blessing, God's Will or Mercy sound pretty normal to you.

5. If, rice and stew just isn't the same without plantain (dodo)

6. If, you would prefer Moin Moin, or Farina (fufu) with soup over McDonalds any day.

7. If, you have ever treated a cold or sorethroat with "Pe-pe Soup", AND IT WORKED!!!!!!

8. If you know what AKATA means.

9. If, your parents or relatives have ever disliked someone because of the simple fact that they were AKATA.

10. (for females) If, not being able to cook stew or soup is one of the most major burdens in life.

11. (another one for females only)If, a Nigerian man who is about 2 or 3 times your age has ever tried to spit game, eeeeeeewwwwww!

12. If, you have ever gone to a Nigerian "get-together" and made a handful of money just for dancing.

13. If, the Houston Rockets was ever your favorite NBA team.

14. If, not properly greeting an elderly Nigerian person has ever gotten you in a load of trouble.

15. If, you or someone you know has ever been sent to Nigeria because of behavioral problems, or if your parents have ever threatened to do so.

16. If, 'afrocentric' AKATA's get on your nerves with those tiger striped outfits.

17. If, when you were little you got FLOGGED (spanked) by someone who of course is Nigerian, but is not your parent, And your parents had their back, instead of yours! (shady huh?)

18. If, as a young woman, you're biggest dilemma is sticking to the regular American boys you date or trying to find a Nigerian husband to appease your parents!

19. If, your parents own expensive ass lace (like 200-300 dollars for one outfit), and they act shady when you want money for clothes.

20. If, your parents have ever compared your life here in America to theirs in Nigeria. (i.e. boarding school, no electricity, fetching water, Nigerian Civil War, etc)

21. If, when you parents curse you want so bad to laugh, but you don't wanna get slapped.

22. If, you parents use the word bloody to conjugate words a lot (e.g. bloody fool, bloody nonsense, bloody coward, bloody idiot, bloody shit)

23. If, your parents use phrases like "Ewhoa, Chineke, Che, Ah-Ah, Yepa! God forbid or by God's Grace".

24. If, your parents have ever threatened to kill you, break your head, back, or neck, or to "show you pepe".

25. If, any Nigerian kid that you known for a long ass time is your "cousin". Yeah, Right!

26. If, you have a relative that owns a "shop". Especially if it is a shop that caters mainly to foreigners.

27. If, all of your parents Nigerian friends are your "Uncles and Auntie's, not Aunts but Aunties.

28. If, when you are around Nigerians your accent either comes outta nowhere, or becomes thicker.

29. If, you have Naija relatives in Europe (especially London, England)

30. If, you have a rough estimate of how many Nigerians are at your school.

31. If, you are friends with someone just because they're Nigerian. (Omo Naija!)

32. If, you bond with people more from other African countries (Ghana, Sierra Leone, Gambia, Eritrea, Ethiopia), more than Americans

33. If, you or your parents have some kind of stereotype about another Nigerian tribe

34. If, you know more than anything that your tribe is the best tribe

35. If, you know for sure that the Super Eagles are by far the best soccer team in the world.

36. If, you have ever bought green chucks just to match a shirt that has the Nigerian flag on it, GREEN WHITE GREEN!

37. If, you attend or have visited a predominantly Nigerian church.

38. And finally, if whenever Nigeria comes up in the news, you run to your TV set and turn that volume waaaayy up. And you get sooo mad if it's for another bloodbath or scandal that they're in the news for.

that sounds perfect.


"I am" fine---- "Am" fine.

im thinking about how much work i have to do instead of just doing it.

we need translations a beg!

procrasination is a lot like masturbation, because in the end, you're only bleeping yourself.

hey you, you bastard, i tried to talk to you and u ignored me.

yall are straight up retarded.

@Hezekiah: You are very stupid for starting such a thread.

@typewriter: You are very stupid because you don't even know snazzydawn you only want to cause trouble.

@pearldrops: you are very stupid for arguing with typewriter. i think you are jealous because snazz has all the attention and you want some as well.

@snazz: you are very stupid because youv'e been carrying with this pretend wedding forever. you arent getting married!

@thread: funny, but useless at the same time. i think it should be locked and deleted.

_{no offense to anyone, just speaking the truth my mind.}

you're just saying that because she is nigerian, an IGBO nigerian.

lol

YoU kNoW yOu ArE an AMERICANIZED NIGERIAN if you now say,

"Truck" instead of "Lorry"

"SUV" instead of "Jeep"

"Never mind" instead of "Fashi"

"Wassup?" instead of "How far now?"

"Hood" instead of "Bonnet"

"Trunk" instead of "Boot"

"Gas" instead of "fuel"

"Fries" instead of "Chips"

"Fireworks/Firecrackers" instead of "Banga/Knockout"

"Soda" instead of "Minerals"

"Detergent" instead of "OMO"

"Stupid" instead of "Mumu/Ode"

"Concrete" instead of "Cement"

"Trash Can" instead of "Dust bin"

"Power is out" instead of "NEPA has taken light"

"Cop" instead of "Police"

"Later" instead of "We go yarn"

"Graduate" instead of "Pass out"

"Security Guard" instead of "Gateman"

"Cookie" instead of "Biscuit"

"Pants" instead of "trousers"

"Underwear" instead of "pant"

"Extensions" instead of "Attachment"

"Cornrows" instead of "weave"

"French braids" instead of "Dee-dee"

"Weave" instead of "weave-on"

"Suitcase" instead of "Box"

"Sneakers" instead of "Canvas"

"Soccer" instead of "Football"

"Motorcycle" instead of "okada"

"Flip-flops" instead of "slippers" (more like "silpas"

"Nail polish" instead of "Cotex"

"Hallway" instead of "Corridor"

"Living/Sitting Room" instead of "Palor'

"Balcony" instead of "Varanda"

"Poke" instead of "Chook"

"Ballpoint" instead of " Biro/Bic"

"VW Bug" instead of "Beettle"

"Negative 5" instead of "minus 5"

"Twenty five hundred" instead of "two thousand five hundred"

"Boss" instead of "Oga"

"Circle" instead of "roundabout"

"Apartment building" instead of "block of flats"

"Flashlight" instead of "torch"

"Conjuctivitis" instead of "Apollo

please add more if you know any!

i am thinking, bebe needs one more post for the lucky 900!

absolutely pathetic.

i am thinking, you are so wrong.

I am thinking, this thread is meant for rolly polly, Grizzly bear, and the outcast.

admin, i thought you eliminated cliques!

i am thinnking that seun needs to find a way to make nairaland to the way it used to be
ex. PMs, brining old members back, encouraging new members, etc

by the way, that yahoo thing is kinda lame.

bunkbobo:
Typewriter or writertype,
Please tell mummy to change your pampers
You are so soaked with wee wee and snazzy hates the stench of it

that was funny!

@seun: I woundn't want you if that is true, but the money is nice, no matter no much. Women need money, and love. So lets get married, so i can take your money, and find love elsewhere.

@queenzy: ive been lost since like forever on such a thread, which is a lil entertaining.

over 50 posts in lest than 3 hours, damn. jobless. snazzydawn don't want you.

I must ask, typwriter, are you jobless? because no girl wants a man that is one the computer 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Big shame on a jobless fool.

copycats.

TO EVERYONE ON THIS THREAD, ATTENTION!!!

We must IGNORE typewriter on this thread! if we ignore him, he will feel silly! so what do you say?

snazzydawn:
marriage ke?wake up from your dream!!!What if I told you I am married?Besides,its not a crime if someone thinks she looks better than me,everybody is entitled to their opinion.Harmony is hot,get that into your thick skull.

Much love to you snazzydawn, you are a sexy hot babe, the only one who made me feel welcome to nairaland.

hey do you guys know when they do re-runs? cause i have class on wed. from 7-9:30.

@donald: i look better than snazz.

@typewriter: before you judge anyone, put a picture of yourself up. are you that ugly that you can't even put up your own picture? you must be. **shakes head at a silly little boy that can't even type.** Besides, you didn't start this thread, someone else did. and snazz ain't even here, so why do you keep talking about her? do you see how foolish you look now? if you don't that is understandable.

@pearldrops: Don't mind this foolish boy, okay? He is just looking for some form of entertainment, since he doesn't have any friends. He is alos looking for your attention. He wants you to get mad, just ignore him. and you are very beautiful, any guy would want to have you!