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Here are the different types of 'girly' behavior that annoys guys on your social networking list.


SECRET CAMPAIGN
"We guys are very much aware of what those secret campaigns are all about. The most common ones being the
color details of your underwear. I really don't think this is something appropriate to share with all those people in
your list. How can women think we will not get to know. These things are bound to leak out sooner than later",


GIRLIE BONDING
"All those 'we-really-need-to-catch-up' messages and the exchanging of hearts can get irritating sometimes. How
come there is so much love pouring out suddenly? I am sure they can all behave normally rather than emulate air-
kissing bimbos!"


DECODE MANIA
"There are so many women on my list who post ambiguous status messages that only their best buddies can
decipher. And to top it all, that friend will post back an 'I-know-exactly-what-you-mean' kind of comment. I mean
if they really want to discuss personal issues, why go and broadcast it in public. What are phones for? If it's a
secret, you might as well keep it. There is no need to attract undue attention unless you are really looking for
some,"


PICTURE (TOO) PERFECT
So there was a party last night, and girl, you looked drop dead gorgeous. "What amuses me the most is why do
girls get their pictures clicked in a variety of poses, angles and outfits? And then of course, when they go out on a
vacation or something like that. Why be narcissistic?"


ATTENTION SEEKING SYNDROME
"What is the most common way to get more posts on your otherwise dull wall? Simple, just write single word posts
and voila, there will be around 50 comments and some 20 likes. There is nothing more stupid than a girl posting a
sad smiley or a 'yay', and her friends jumping up and saying 'what happened' or 'awww'. Don't girls ever realize
that there must be a reason why guys never do this? We do not want to go about splashing our every minute
moods,"

No matter how much we try to forget what we have left behind us, it is more often than not a difficult idea to let
go easily of the past and take a detour from the once familiar and now closed route. This seems a little tougher
when the past in question concerns sensitive human relationship of love and marriage.
We all remember the mania that surrounded the news of Hollywood actor Brad Pitt getting married to Angelina
Jolie earlier this year. Events took a humorous turn when their marriage became secondary and the speculations
about Brad's ex-wife Jennifer Aniston attending the wedding assumed center stage. Will Jennifer Aniston feature
on the wedding guest list or will she accept and be part of her ex-husband's marriage were questions that their
fans and the media debated upon more extensively, thus, pushing the marriage in the offing to the sidelines. And
parallel to this comes to mind the episode in 'Friends ' where Ross is in a dilemma to invite Rachel (ironically
played by Jennifer Aniston!) to his wedding to Emily and as if to make things worse he utters Rachel's name at the
altar while exchanging marital vows.

There are many such examples in our ordinary lives too when we find a Ross struggling to invite his ex while
gearing up for a new start with a new partner; easier said than done it sounds!
Here are the top five reasons why an ex should not be part of your wedding guest list:


EX'es CAN NEVER BÈ FRÎENDS : Like two actresses in Bollywood can never strike a 'friendly' cord however much they try
to prove it on camera, exes too are a couple of miles away from being good 'pals'. On a serious note, a deluge of
emotions and fond memories of special moments lived and spent with an ex takes over the mind of the person,
now getting married to someone else. This plays a discouraging force in allowing him/her to send out a wedding
invitation card to the ex. It is awkward for the ex too to turn up to a wedding least anticipated, without him/her
walking down the aisle. Psychologist and family therapist Dr. Gitanjali Kumar helps us understand the complex
interplay of human emotions and says, "To imagine the ideal is to think that exes can stay friends and harbour no
malice in seeing the other settling down with somebody else in life. That's the ideal, often unachievable. The
tendency to forgive and forget varies from person to person and cannot be forced to subscribe to the golden rule of
'all is well'."


PAST IS ALWAYS SAD : With the ex walking into the wedding hall (if invited) also walks in a sense of grief, rejection or
betrayal (as the case may be) she/he is a strong reminder of. Recalling one of her friend-cum-client's example, Dr.
Gitanjali explains, "She was invited to her ex's wedding but she chose not to be an attendee. Witnessing her once
upon a time lover's marriage would come to symbolise her own loss and make her look like a fool. She feared that
she might breakdown or show her vulnerable side leading to her own humiliation."


I KNOW HOW TO MOVE ON WÎTHOUT YOU BY MY SÎDÈ : A pure case of unrequited love. This is the most volatile condition
of inviting an ex to your wedding. Anger and vengeance are the overpowering emotions playing here. You want to
prove to your ex you have moved on and that the latter is still rotting in a miserable state (unless of course there's
a new partner here too). When asked if she would invite her ex to the wedding, Bangalore-based media
professional Surabhi said, "Why not, he should be there to see what a loser he is and that I am happily going with
a partner better than him." An invitation with the motive of satisfying spite or sadistic pleasure is not a marker of
maturity as far as the would-be groom or bride is concerned. Dr. Gitanjali blames it on the "media and the daily
soaps responsible for breeding a culture of revenge, aggression and intolerance among youth.


SPARE ME THE JEERS AND SYMPATHY: You were almost married to the one you loved, but fate had other plans. For
Nitya Sharma, working in a PR firm, it was nothing less than a nightmare, "We were engaged and the dates of our
marriage had been fixed but the family developed cold feet later and my guy too decided to call it off." Now she
hears he is getting married to a girl of his parents' choice and she has been 'invited'. "I definitely cannot face the
same people who had once come to my engagement ceremony and reconcile myself to be one of the guests now
when I could have been the bride," adds a resentful Nitya. Self-respect and dignity seem more important than
surviving friendly ties with an ex.


YOU CHEATÈD ON ME : This comes as a rebound effect to a failed and short-lived relationship in terms of one of the
partners being accused of infidelity, lack of commitment or let's say being over-possessive. You hurry toward the
prospect of marriage as a healing therapy from a wounded past affair. Sociologist Reeta Brara cautions against
such a proposal and says, "If the history of the previous relationship has been bitter, then there is no point calling
someone to the wedding who would remind you of an acrimonious past. And if there had been commitment issues
and infidelity charges then inviting an ex can be more of inviting trouble," she adds.
You always win some, lose some; better to forget about the loss and look forward to a glorious, new future.

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