₦airaland Forum

Thanks for your concern am trying my best to get over it. I've not slept all night fully awake

I can't sleep. in a lot of pains

I have a relationship for 2 years now. but completely wrecked me because I have believed I would be with this girl forever. She used to talk about marriage, and at the time she probably meant it. I created a future

in my imagination we were a happy couple with a passionate romance and an exciting social life. I thought about what our kids might look like. All this thinking and fantasizing built up a strong network of neural pathways in my brain. As far as my nervous system was concerned, I was already married to her.Now I found out she doesn't care about my feelings anymore,whenever I tell her I want to see her she complains that all I know is myself,that I won't let her study,She doesn't call me like before anymore,sometimes her phone is off if i asked why was the phone off she will tell me her phone is bad.Sometime ago I found out she was having another phone number which Ididn't know about me,but I forgave after I got to know.Now my dreams and ideas seemed ridiculous. Added to all my lovely future fantasies is now huge negative feeling. The meaning of the pictures in my head is flipping. As I lay awake going over and over why this is happening, I'm reinforcing how sad I feel and what a loser I must be. I feel terrible, and now even worse because I don't know if the feeling would ever end.

Last week I said to myself, “This is ridiculous! I've got to stop!” But her thoughts wouldn't stop. I don't want to think about her, but I can't help it. I know that Im not in charge of my own brain. I'm powerless while right now. This is what I've led me eventually into writing this. I want to get my mind on my side, instead of having it keep me awake at night.I feel loss and pain.My normal ways of thinking about the world are disrupted.My balance is upset. Please tell me how to move on I can't take this anymore.