₦airaland Forum

Fenrir:
😂 oh this boy, he's a right merchant banker. I almost feel sorry him.

Fenrir:
😂😂😂😂

Hoodrat.
Before the mic drop, let's do the full inventory for Nairaland since you've invited everyone to read the thread themselves.
Your divergences. In order. All yours. All timestamped.
You opened a thread about a Russian predator. Then diverged to colonial psychology. Then diverged to community protection frameworks. Then diverged to calling the women reckless and shameful in the same thread where you called them vulnerable victims. Then diverged to "your brother's behaviour is irrelevant" when a Nigerian man's identical behaviour was mentioned. Then when I introduced Nigerian statistics about Nigerian predators you diverged to "what are YOU personally doing about it." Then diverged to institutional accountability frameworks. Then diverged to colonial missionaries dismantling ìwà. Then diverged to developing nation realities. Then diverged to "you're attacking Yoruba culture." Then diverged to my personal history. Then diverged to character assassination accusations. Then diverged to your weapons training. Then diverged to "you're defending the Russian." Then diverged to "colonial missionaries who looked just like you" about a six foot seven green eyed Norse ginger who looks absolutely nothing like any Russian who has ever existed on this entire planet. Then diverged to "emotional projection." Then diverged to "therapy session." Then diverged to "shadow boxing." Then diverged to "you wrote an autobiography about dogs and hamsters." Then when asked for a single direct quote proving any of your accusations diverged to "the thread is there and everyone can read it."
That last one is my favourite. Because yes. The thread IS there. And what it shows is a man who opened with foreign predators, got shown a domestic mirror, and spent every single reply since finding somewhere else to look.
Not one quote. Not one timestamp from my posts proving a single accusation you made.
Just nineteen divergences and a door slam.
The thread is indeed there. Read it from the top. Every word of it. That's all I ever asked you to do.
We done.

Fenrir:
Hoodrat.
Your words. Your post. "Colonial missionaries who looked just like you."
Mate. I'm six foot seven, ginger as a autumn bonfire, green eyes, look like a Viking who got lost on the way to a raid and ended up in Lagos. The only Russian who looks like me is one who took a wrong turn at the Arctic Circle and never came back.
So either you're saying all white people look alike, which is a fascinating position for someone who just spent fifty posts lecturing about racial stereotyping, or you've just accidentally confirmed you look Ghanaian.
Good to know bruv.
Still waiting on those quotes by the way

Fenrir:
Hoodrat. Let's do a full timeline. Just yours. No editorialising. Just what you actually wrote in chronological order and what happened after each one.
11:57am you posted a thread titled "Russian HIV Positive Guy Exposes How Cheap Some Kenyan And Ghana Women Are." That's your title. You named it. Cheap. Kenyan. Ghana. Women.
12:31pm you told muyico that calling the women olosho misses the point and that "the issue is the vulnerability that makes exploitation easy." So the women are vulnerable victims of systemic conditioning. That's your position. Written by you. At 12:31pm.
12:41pm you wrote that foreigners using charity work as cover is the saviour scam and that "every child becomes a prop." Predators exploit trust. Foreign access must be regulated. Communities must protect themselves. Strong stuff. All about foreign predators.
1:58pm honour8 mentioned his brother sleeping with 25 girls same day and you said "your brother's behaviour is irrelevant here." Nigerian man. Relevant behaviour for the topic. Declared irrelevant by you. At 1:58pm. On the record.
8:57pm ReacherSaidNoth said the HIV claim had no proof and you said the women "acted recklessly, sold themselves cheap, and brought shame on their own households." Same women you called vulnerable victims of systemic conditioning at 12:31pm are now shameful and reckless at 8:57pm. That's a seven hour round trip from victim to sinner and back again depending on who you're responding to.
9:10pm you told grandstar that "a community collapses when its men stop protecting its women" and that "Black men must reclaim their role as protectors." Nigerian men. Protecting Nigerian women. From foreign threats only apparently.
That is YOUR thread. YOUR words. YOUR timeline. Before I posted a single letter.
Now here's what I did. I introduced Nigerian HIV statistics. Nigerian sexual violence statistics. Numbers about Nigerian men harming Nigerian women and children. Same topic. Different nationality on the perpetrator. That's it. That's the entirety of what I did.
And your responses since then in order. What are you personally doing about it. Then institutional accountability frameworks. Then colonial missionaries dismantled ìwà. Then developing nation realities. Then I'm attacking Yoruba culture. Then character assassination. Then my personal history. Then your weapons training. Then I'm defending the Russian. Then I'm projecting frustrations. Then shadow boxing. Then find someone else.
Count them. That's eight distinct pivots. Eight. From one set of statistics that you never once actually disputed. You said the numbers were real. You never challenged a single figure. You just kept moving sideways.
And now in your latest reply you've landed on "you're defending the Russian." Hoodrat that's the most spectacular pivot in the entire thread. I defended nobody. I introduced domestic data into a conversation about domestic harm. You made the Russian the only permissible subject in a thread about protecting African women from predatory men and then accused me of deflecting when I pointed at the man already inside the house.
The proverb you quoted, he that justifieth the wicked is an abomination, runs both directions mate. It applies equally to spending eight replies protecting Nigerian perpetrators from statistical scrutiny by calling it cultural attack, emotional projection, colonial wound, therapy session, and shadow boxing.
One in four Nigerian girls before eighteen. Seventy eight point five percent by known trusted men. Two point nine percent conviction rate. Sixty one percent non-disclosure to partners. Two point four five million positive.
Still there. Still your community. Still not moved.
You moved. Eight times. All documented. All timestamped. All yours.

Fenrir:
You want to talk about how a father actually protects his child. Fine. Let me show you what that looks like in practice rather than in principle.
My daughter is eight years old. Her safety and education are the only two things on earth that are non-negotiable. Everything else is negotiable. Those two are not.
She has four dogs. Not pets in the decorative sense. A working pack, structured deliberately. A small mutt who is the eyes, always watching, always alert. A rottweiler who is the body, physical presence and deterrence. A Staffordshire bull terrier who is the heart and soul, loyalty so complete it's almost embarrassing to watch. A border collie who is the brain, reads every situation before anyone else does. They go everywhere she goes. Everywhere. I removed the food drive from all of them completely. Kibble available twenty four hours. One cooked meal a day, whatever meat I have, vegetables, ancient black rice. I make liver jerky myself and they get it on request. Someone could throw a steak at them from ten feet away and they would not move. Because she is the reward. Just being near her, protecting her, obeying her is the reward. She is their master. I am just the man who pays the vet bills. That hierarchy was built deliberately and it took time and consistency to establish properly. That is physical security. Real. Practical. Not a prayer. Not a lecture about community values. Four animals who would die before they let anything touch her.
Now her mind.
She gets a guaranteed fifty pounds a month. Around ninety thousand naira. Unconditional. That is her economic foundation and her first lesson in dignity, that her baseline is secure and nobody can take it from her. On top of that she earns. Doing right adds ten percent. Helping without being asked adds ten percent. Something genuinely creative or ethical that makes me proud adds a hundred percent. Those stack. Breaking the social contract loses bonuses. Bullying loses bonuses. The floor never drops below zero because security is not a reward it is a right. She chose micro hamsters. I provide the cage and water. She handles everything else, feeding, cleaning, enrichment, health monitoring. She bought a second hand food dehydrator herself and makes their supplemental food. Cost her about one pound fifty a month. She learned nutrition, resource efficiency, and forward planning from a hamster and a machine. For the hamsters she selects materials from my workshop and builds their toys and enrichment herself. Labour gets paid in jelly babies. She understands that her time has value, that something alive depends on what she builds, and that the beneficiary of her work is not herself. She is eight and already understands what it means to build for something that cannot ask for what it needs. She has a garden allotment. What she grows she sells to neighbours at fair prices. What doesn't sell I buy. Everything she earns above her UBI gets taxed fourteen percent into a fund she cannot touch until she needs a car. She saves five percent minimum of every extra penny. She already understands UBI, merit, taxation, savings, delayed gratification, and the difference between money you earn and money you're given.
Her faith.
She asked to be Christian. Her atheist father said yes immediately and without condition because that is what free will actually means. Then I sat down and taught her real Christianity from the original Greek texts because if she's going to believe something she is going to understand what she actually believes rather than what someone with a building fund told her it means. Galatians 5:13 in the Greek, eleutheria, freedom, voluntary choice, love through service not coercion. Matthew 28:19, matheteusate, make disciples through teaching and mentoring, an invitation not a command. Romans 14:5, each person fully convinced in their own mind, suneidesis, personal conscience, personal responsibility. The Acts 17:11 Bereans praised specifically for examining scripture themselves every single day rather than just accepting what they were told. That is what I'm teaching her Christianity actually says. Think for yourself. Test everything. Serve voluntarily. Judge nobody. The red horned demon is medieval European folklore grafted onto a Hebrew concept that was originally just a job title in God's legal department, ha-satan, the divine prosecutor, an internal impulse toward selfishness, sometimes just a human obstacle. Peter got called Satan by Jesus himself. Peter didn't grow horns. He was just being temporarily unhelpful. She knows this. At eight.
Her body.
She asked to learn MMA. I'm teaching her myself starting with judo because judo teaches you that leverage beats size every single time and that is the most important physical lesson an eight year old girl can learn. Takedowns. Ground control. How to fall without breaking. How to use someone's own momentum against them. Before she is twelve she will be a first dan at minimum, understand basic striking combinations, know exactly how to neutralise someone twice her size, and have the psychological confidence that comes from knowing she can handle herself without anyone else present.
So that is what protection actually looks like Hoodrat. Not a thread about a Russian. Not invoking ìwà while the conviction rate for child rapists sits at 2.9%. Not community frameworks and institutional accountability language and six numbered points about how you didn't deflect.
A pack of four dogs with no food drive and total imprinting. A structured economy that teaches dignity and accountability simultaneously. Original text Christianity taught by an atheist who respects her enough to give her the actual words rather than the performance. Judo from the ground up because leverage beats size and she needs to know that in her muscles not just her head.
That is a father protecting his child.
Not a speech. A system.

Fenrir:
Hoodrat you just wrote six numbered points to explain why you didn't deflect while deflecting again. That takes a special kind of commitment and I genuinely respect the audacity even as I'm about to bury it.
Let's keep this simple because the whole thing can be collapsed into one observation.
You started a thread about a Russian predator spreading HIV through African women. I pointed out that Nigerian men are statistically the primary predators of Nigerian women and children, with verified numbers, and that Nigeria has 2.45 million HIV positive people the majority of whom don't disclose to partners. You then spent three replies asking what I'm personally doing about it, pivoting to institutional frameworks, invoking ìwà, and now accusing me of character assassination and derailing YOUR thread.
Who moved. You did. Every single time.
The Russian was your topic. The Nigerian data was the mirror I held up to it. You looked at the mirror and called it an attack. That's not debate. That's a man who asked for reflection and then got angry at his own face.
Now point by point since you numbered them.
One. I didn't attack ìwà. I said ìwà got replaced by prosperity gospel and that you invoke it selectively. You just proved it again by invoking it here as a shield while ignoring that the men with a 2.9% conviction rate for raping children grew up inside the same ìwà framework you're defending. If ìwà genuinely condemned those behaviours as explicitly as you claim the conviction rate wouldn't be 2.9%. The framework and the reality are not matching and that's not my problem to explain away it's yours.
Two. "Is it improving? Yes." That's your counter to a 2.9% conviction rate and one in four girls assaulted before eighteen. And improving at what speed relative to the scale of harm happening right now tonight. "Developing nation" does not explain community consensus to protect perpetrators. Other developing nations exist without these specific numbers. The development status explains resource constraints. It does not explain why 78.5% of perpetrators are known trusted family members who walk free 97% of the time.
Three. You accused me of character assassination and then in the same numbered list reached into personal history to deflect from verified national statistics. The data doesn't change because of anything personal about me. One in four girls is still one in four girls. 2.9% conviction rate is still 2.9%. These numbers exist completely independently of anything about me personally and using personal history to challenge them is not a counter argument. It's a confession that you don't have one.
Four. I derailed your thread. Hoodrat. You posted about a Russian spreading HIV through African women. I introduced Nigerian HIV statistics and Nigerian sexual violence statistics directly relevant to the topic of African women being harmed by predators. That is not a derailment. That is the same subject with the inconvenient variable changed from Russian to Nigerian. If the topic is protecting African women from predatory men then the nationality of the predator is a detail not the point. You made it the point because the Nigerian predator is harder to perform outrage about on Nairaland without losing your likes.
Five. Trained martial artist. Trained to handle all types of weapons. You put that in a reply to a statistical argument about HIV disclosure rates and child sexual violence conviction rates. I'll leave that exactly where you put it.
Here's the summary you keep avoiding.
You shifted. Three times. First to what are you personally doing about it. Then to institutional accountability frameworks. Now to personal attacks and your weapons training.
The data hasn't moved. The hypocrisy hasn't moved. The one in four girls hasn't moved. The 2.9% hasn't moved. The 61% non-disclosure hasn't moved.
You moved.
Every single time.
That's the whole thing.

Fenrir:
Hoodrat you just wrote four paragraphs of the most elegant gear-shifting I've seen in a long time and I want to acknowledge the craft before I dismantle it completely because that was genuinely smooth. You moved from "what are YOU doing about it" to "institutions must be held accountable" to "contradictions don't disappear through exposure alone" and landed on "that is where the real work begins" like a man who just delivered a TED talk instead of answering a direct challenge.
Masterful. Wrong. But masterful.
Because here's what actually just happened. You got hit with verified data showing one in four Nigerian girls sexually assaulted before eighteen, 78.5% by men known to them, 2.9% conviction rate, 3.3% reporting rate, and your response was to pivot to institutional accountability frameworks and asking how Nigerians like yourself can hold powerful structures responsible.
Not "I was wrong to spend fifty posts pointing at a Russian while this is happening at home." Not "the predator I was describing is statistically far more likely to be Nigerian than foreign." Just a smooth lateral move into structural analysis that conveniently repositions you as a thoughtful reformer rather than someone who just got caught performing outrage tourism about Ghana while sitting on top of the most catastrophic child sexual violence statistics on the continent.
So let's answer the actual question underneath all of this. The one you and I both know is really being asked.
Why would anyone from outside this system be responsible for helping fix it.
They wouldn't. Full stop. And here specifically is why.
You lot lied to us about marriage. Not occasionally. Not in isolated cases. Majority behaviour. Systematic. Coordinated. The bride price is culture until you want to leave, then it's a debt. The introduction is optional under Nigerian law, Section 41 of the Marriage Act makes demanding it a criminal offence, but that information gets buried under thirty relatives in matching fabric who collectively decided their feelings outweigh the constitution. The list is tradition until it becomes a hardware store receipt. Foreign men who marry into Nigerian families get the full performance of ìwà and Omoluabi and dignity and community while the actual legal and ethical framework protecting their rights gets quietly folded away and nobody mentions it until there's a problem.
That's not a cultural misunderstanding. That's a deliberate information asymmetry maintained by majority consensus. You don't get to lie systematically to people about the basic terms of a legal contract and then ask those same people to invest in your public health infrastructure.
Then the HIV piece. 2.45 million positive. 61% not disclosing to partners. 74.3% of positive men refusing condoms in marriage. Not a minority behaviour. Majority. Documented. And the mechanism keeping it invisible is exactly the community judgment you demonstrated in real time in the Russian thread when you called those Ghanaian women terrible and said their evil reward would return on their own heads. You are personally part of the shame architecture that makes disclosure impossible and you did it in the same thread where you were lecturing everyone about community protection. That's not an institutional problem waiting for a framework. That's you. Personally. That week. On Nairaland.
Then the children. One in four girls. Before eighteen. Mostly by trusted family members. 2.9% conviction rate. Covered by community silence. And the response from the community when it surfaces is almost universally to protect the family name, question the child's credibility, remind everyone that the man is a deacon or a respected elder, and quietly relocate the problem rather than the perpetrator. That is not a structural accountability gap waiting for an intervention framework. That is active communal choice repeated millions of times across the country at the individual level by people who know exactly what they're doing.
So why would anyone outside that system be responsible for fixing it. Why would a foreign man owe labour, emotional energy, analysis, activism, or institutional engagement to a community that lies about marriage in the majority, silently passes HIV to partners in the majority, protects child rapists through community consensus, and then when all of that gets pointed out with verified data responds by asking what the person pointing is personally doing about it and pivoting to institutional accountability frameworks.
The answer is he wouldn't. Obviously. Categorically. Wouldn't.
And the tell in your entire response Hoodrat is this one line. "Whether you like it or not the environment you're describing is the environment your own children will inherit." You reached for that because you needed a hook to make this someone else's problem to solve. But that argument only works if the community in question is operating in good faith toward those children. Which brings us back to the one in four girls figure and the 2.9% conviction rate and the uncles in agbada in the front pew and the community that will bury a child's testimony to protect a family name.
The work you're describing, the real work, the institutional accountability, the rebuilding of spaces where people can speak without fear, that's entirely yours to do. Not because outsiders don't care. But because you cannot outsource the integrity of your own house. You can't point at Russia, pivot to frameworks, invoke Yoruba moral codes, and then wait for someone from outside to come fix the thing you're all collectively maintaining through silence.
The contradiction you said needs confronting with energy isn't waiting for an external actor.
It's waiting for you to stop writing elegant deflections on Nairaland and start having the conversation you just described in the community that already knows you and might actually listen.
That's where the real work begins.
You said it yourself.

You’ve written another long performance, but once again you’ve shifted the entire conversation away from the original issue and turned it into a personal crusade against Yoruba ìwà, Nigerian culture, and now even seek to assasinate my character . That alone shows you’re not debating in good faith you’re seeking offence where none was intended.

Fenrir:
To answer your question directly, it isn't my responsibility. At all.
Not even slightly.
I'm not Nigerian. I'm not embedded in your social contract. I don't owe your community an education programme. I pointed at a hypocrisy with verified data and that's where my obligation ended. What you do with it is entirely yours.
But since you asked what am I doing, let me flip that properly because the question itself is the tell.
The response to "you're a hypocrite" is not "what are YOU doing about it." That's not a counter argument. That's a press conference redirect. The hypocrisy either stands or it doesn't and whether the person identifying it is running a free clinic in Kano is completely irrelevant to whether it's real. You pulled the tu quoque and dressed it nicely but it's still the tu quoque.
Now the deeper question. Why would ANYONE be responsible for educating people who will choose to build a third church on the same street before funding a single secondary school? Who will raise two million naira in one Sunday service for LED screens and a fog machine for the pastor's entrance while the local health centre has no contraceptives and the roof of the secondary school has been leaking since 2009. Who will spend forty thousand naira on aso ebi for a wedding where the bride price negotiation carried more practical legal weight in the room than the actual marriage certificate. Who will shame a woman publicly for testing HIV positive while the man who infected her is in the front pew collecting handshakes and a "blessed week brother" from the usher.
You said Yoruba moral codes eroded. Hoodrat you almost had it. Almost. Then you retreated back into "restoring principles of self-control and responsibility" without finishing the thought.
They didn't erode. They got replaced. Specifically and deliberately replaced by a prosperity gospel that kept all the judgment, stripped out the actual behavioural accountability, monetised the shame, commodified salvation, and installed the pastor as the new traditional authority with a better sound system and no reciprocal obligations to the community whatsoever. The ìwà framework you're mourning didn't dissolve on its own. It got actively dismantled and something far more profitable was built on top of it. Something that collects money from people who can't afford malaria medication and calls it seed faith.
And THAT institution is now the one running your community's moral operating system. The same one that makes HIV disclosure impossible because the congregation's appetite for judgment is industrial scale and the pastor's sermon on sexual immorality draws a bigger crowd than the free testing van outside.
You said "there is hope, with awareness, education, testing, and honest conversations communities can rebuild." Hoodrat that's a NGO press release. That's not analysis. Awareness of what exactly, tested by whom, honest conversations in which space when the most powerful institution in the community has a direct financial interest in maintaining shame as a control mechanism?
You almost got there. Genuinely. Then you wrote yourself a comfortable landing instead of finishing the crash.
So to be absolutely clear. My responsibility was to point at the hypocrisy accurately with verifiable numbers. Done. Your responsibility, if you actually believe what you wrote about community protection and rebuilding moral structures, is to point that same analytical energy at the building with the cross on top that's charging your neighbours for miracles while the school next door is falling apart.
That's where the real colonial wound is.
Not arriving on a flight. Already there. Already comfortable. Already collecting

Fenrir:
To Nairaland, and specifically to Hoodrat:
Let's talk.
Not about the Russian. About you.
You spent pages, genuinely impressive pages, building a case about colonial psychology, predatory foreigners, psychological vulnerability, community protection, the worship of pale skin, the saviour scam, RED skin Jesus imagery, neocolonialism, the whole cathedral. Some of it was actually solid analysis. Credit where it's due.
And then you torched the entire thing yourself.
Because here's what you didn't mention once. Not once. In that entire thread.
Nigeria has approximately 2.45 million people living with HIV. Second highest burden on the planet. Not in Africa. On the planet. And studies in your own country show that only around 39% of HIV positive Nigerians disclose their status to ALL their sexual partners. Meaning the clear majority of people who KNOW they are positive are sleeping with people and saying absolutely nothing. Not the Russian. Nigerians. At home. Right now. Tonight.
Condom use among young Nigerians? Catastrophically low. In one study of married HIV positive women, 74.3% of partners refused condoms. Refused. Not forgot. Refused. In another study in Kogi State, more than half of HIV positive people with multiple partners were not using protection. Multiple partners. Knowing their status. No condoms. No disclosure.
And why does this happen? Because roughly 60% of Nigerians hold discriminatory attitudes toward people living with HIV. The stigma is so severe that people would rather silently pass the virus on than face their own community's judgment. The shame creates the silence and the silence spreads the disease. It is a closed loop of self-inflicted harm that your entire community built and maintains with breathtaking dedication.
So when you wrote "their evil reward will return upon their own heads" about the Ghanaian women, Hoodrat, I need you to sit with something. That exact attitude, that church-hall judgment, that contempt disguised as morality, is precisely why HIV positive Nigerians won't tell their partners. Won't get tested. Won't seek help. Because they already know exactly what "the community" will say about them. You just demonstrated it in real time while lecturing everyone else about community protection.
You built a sophisticated analysis about how colonialism engineered psychological vulnerability in African women that makes them easy targets for foreign predators. Solid framework. Then you called those same women "terrible women" who "sold themselves cheap" whose "evil reward will return upon their own heads." So which is it? Are they victims of engineered psychological damage or are they just morally deficient sinners? Because you cannot hold both positions simultaneously without your entire argument collapsing into exactly the kind of selective application of standards you spent fifty posts criticising.
That is not analysis. That is colonial psychology wearing a dashiki.
And the cr7lomo comment that you agreed with, "if he met naija girls he would have been ashamed, Ghana and Kenya de learn from where Naija women de." You said "damn" approvingly to that. Hoodrat. Your country has 2.45 million people with HIV and a non-disclosure rate that would make a epidemiologist physically ill and your response to that bragging was "damn." Not "oga wait" not "actually hold on" just pure agreement. Because in that moment the Nigerian superiority reflex completely overrode the actual analytical framework you'd spent the whole thread constructing.
That is the hypocrisy. Right there. Clean and complete.
The Russian situation deserves scrutiny, absolutely. Foreign predators using charity work as access cover is real, documented, and genuinely dangerous. The colonial psychology analysis is legitimate and important. The call for community vigilance and structured oversight of foreign NGO access is correct.
But you cannot deliver that lecture while your own house has nearly two and a half million people with a virus that most of them won't disclose, won't protect against, and can't talk about openly because communities exactly like yours will respond with "their evil reward will return upon their own heads."
The predator you're looking for isn't always arriving on a flight from Moscow.
Sometimes he grew up in the same neighbourhood. Goes to the same church. And knows that the community's appetite for judgment is so vicious that his partners will suffer the shame alone rather than ever say his name out loud.
That's your colonial wound. Right there. Unaddressed. Festering. While everyone on Nairaland is busy pointing at Ghana

Rapmoney:
I do not need to debate with you. Nigerians who are homeless abroad like you claimed, how did they enter the country and what skills do they possess? Skilled Nigerians who enter western countries legally are never stranded. Stop this negativity. It has outlived its thriving days of darkness.

For your information, there are millions of Nigerians living in abject POVERTY even in their own country NIGERIA.

You talked about ancestral land. Please what is ancestral about the land? The same ancestral lands that are sold all over Nigeria for reasons that are not even attached to Japa? Abeg talk another thing. This your opinion is stale.

Rapmoney:
Lately, I have been seeing different threads online created solely to discourage young Nigerians from travelling abroad. One particular thing common among these posts is how the writers unrealistically make oppornities in Nigeria seem equal or even greater to those that abound in Europe, America, Canada, or Australia. That is very ridiculous. We are not blind. We know the current state of Nigeria - from epileptic power supply, hyper inflation, to monster insecurity. I saw a video where a young youth corp member was being tortured by bandits in the north as if we were living in the 1720s. Until now, the authorities and security agencies have not made any statement on it. Why would they? It is 'normal' in Nigeria.

Last year, I travelled to a state in the Niger Delta Region for a project. An entire local government area has not seen light for donkey years. In some parts of the state, people do not use electricity up to 10 minutes in a day. Then, you have remote workers in these places. You have artisans who need electricity for their business. These people spend hell on purchasing fuel, and by the end of the day, their profits cannot even make them have access to a decent life. Tomorrow, when their business crumbles, you call them 'lazy people'.

As a young Nigerian, if you have the means to travel to access better opportunities, DO NOT ALLOW anyone to discourage you. Some of these people who try to discourage you have family members abroad who have established businesses for them here. Some of them might even be living abroad, but you do not know that. Some are beneficiaries of the failed systems and institutions in Nigeria. If your country was okay, why are the children of your leaders living in developed countries? Shouldn't this country be good for them instead?

Countries that have thriving economies do not even have citizens who discourage their fellow citizens from travelling, talk more of a country that has failing systems and institutions.

How does another man's decision to travel affect your own life? The decision to travel for greener pastures, better social amenities, and guaranteed security is a personal thing, and should not give other people headache. Why you dey swallow panadol for another man headache?

You dey Nigeria dey earn 40k as a private school teacher, and you dey allow another man wey dey Sweden dey earn millions with better security and healthcare to brainwash you. You go die poor ooo! Nor go find scholarships or sell family land. Dey there.

Fenrir:
😂 im entitled to do whatever the hell i want. I bled for the human rights that you muppets complain about while trying to rob them from other people.

Freedom of expression.
Freedom of speech.
Freedom of beliefs.
Freedom of choice.
Freedom of movement.
Freedom of conscience.
Freedom of thought.
Freedom of religion.
Freedom of association.
Freedom of assembly.
Freedom of the press.
Freedom of information.
Freedom of worship.
Freedom of peaceful protest.
Freedom of political opinion.
Freedom of sexual orientation.
Freedom of gender identity.
Freedom of education.
Freedom of occupation.
Freedom of residence.
Freedom of privacy.
Freedom of bodily autonomy.
Freedom of cultural expression.
Freedom of language.
Freedom of artistic expression.
Freedom of economic participation.
Freedom of peaceful dissent.
Freedom of civil disobedience within lawful limits.
Freedom of family formation.
Freedom of medical choice.
Freedom from arbitrary detention.
Freedom from torture.
Freedom from discrimination.
Freedom from slavery.
Freedom from forced labour.
Freedom from unlawful surveillance.
Freedom from state interference in private life.
Freedom from enforced ideology.
Freedom from collective punishment.
Freedom from statelessness.
Freedom of scientific inquiry.
Freedom of philosophical belief.
Freedom of political participation.
Freedom to vote and stand for election.
Freedom to petition government.
Freedom to access legal representation.
Freedom to a fair trial.
Freedom to refuse unlawful orders.
Freedom to conscientious objection.
Freedom from poverty as a structural denial of all other freedoms.

IsraeliAIRFORCE:
No value target hit. Just indiscriminate throwing of projectiles here and there.

Iran is looking more like children throwing fireworks and knockouts during the festive season

Fenrir:
You preach "moral authority" and "dignity" like you've earned the right to police a grown man's marriage, yet you've never explained what backs your own standing beyond hurt tribal pride. Let's fix that.
I was a Royal Marines sniper military operative specialist, long range precision, secondary role on top of infantry quals. Over a decade in the suck: Afghanistan, Iraq, and classified hellholes worse than both. Lying glassed up for days, picking high value targets through mirage and wind, one controlled breath and a squeeze that drops a commander or spotter from 800-1200 metres, shifting the fight so patrols or civvies get clear. Rounds coming back, body armour ringing, shrapnel bites, over a dozen confirmed hits on me across tours bullets tearing through gear, flesh, bone, blood loss making everything slow and cold while I clamp wounds, direct fire, cover exfil. Dragged wounded to safety under fire, held positions solo so innocents could escape, watched mates bleed out because the enemy wouldn't stop. That's not movie bollocks; that's real meat parted, nerves severed, chronic pain that wakes you at 3 a.m., the smell of copper and cordite that sticks forever. I paid in body parts so strangers could live.
Now you: what have you fought for? What have you bled for when it wasn't just pixels? Who have you sacrificed your flesh for so others could breathe free? Because typing essays about how I should run my home doesn't count as sacrifice it's control dressed as concern.
Your wedding culture obsession: most setups demand the groom's side pays heavy bride price cash, itemised lists, gifts, schnapps, yams, envelopes for elders, sometimes escalating demands because "tradition." Bride's family gets compensated, groom proves provision. Reciprocal? Often symbolic at best return some cash or nothing material equivalent. Groom bleeds resources upfront, debt common, while bride's side pockets the "honour." In practice, one sided extraction for majority cases. How does that improve lives? Builds families or stacks pressure that crushes them? If it's truly reciprocal and elevating, show the enforced bride side equivalent financial match. But most drop that part, keep the groom's obligations ironclad, then scream "disrespect" when the imbalance gets called out. Selective tradition pure and simple enforce what benefits one side, relax what doesn't, gatekeep the rest.
You accuse me of disrespecting culture while hiding behind "community" to police my consensual marriage. My wife and I choose our dynamic freedom, mutual consent, no tribal script required. That's not degradation; that's agency you clearly can't handle. I don't owe your customs shit beyond Nigerian law, which I follow. I live here, pay my way, contribute, raise family under statutes. Your feelings about my rejection of selective pressure aren't my burden.
"Leave if you hate it" is the argument L cry when facts bite. I stay because I choose to earned it the hard way. My wife's story isn't exploitation; it's truth I speak without fear. If the mirror shows gaps in the "values" you defend, that's your reflection to deal with.
Your move. What have you built or bled for beyond online sermons?
My Yoruba wife died of cancer 6 years ago, im married to igbo now and did no traditions either time. Literally just took them married them, Yoruba wife a vineyard in Italy. Igbo wife 2025 in hawaii. My little girl ive never said a word to her about the wedding cultures not 1 to her or around her, shes half yoruba and even she hates the wedding culture after going to 2 weddings without me.

Fenrir:
And thats entire point, the "majority" of your people do nothing but demand crap they are not entitled to.
You keep dragging my wife into this because you’re a muppet who can’t wrap his head around the concept of "consenting adults." She was on this very forum making it clear that our life is her choice while I wasn't even in the country to "influence" her, but that doesn't fit your narrative of control, does it? You’re a massive hypocrite you’ll stand there and defend traditional polygamy because it suits the male ego, but the moment a couple chooses ethical non-monogamy by mutual consent, you start acting disgusted. It’s pathetic.

​And you prove my point every single time you use an AI as a logic grinder to try and buff up your flawed, extractive arguments. You’re using "Babylon’s" tools to try and justify your "Ehena" behaviour. It’s men like you, with your judgmental double standards and your performative respect, that actually give the Yoruba a bad reputation. You aren't defending a culture; you’re just a small man hiding behind a keyboard and a list of demands. We are done here. You’ve been found out

Fenrir:
Let's rip the mask off this "superior Omoluabi character" you're so desperate to defend, because the fruit of it is rotten to the core and you can't square it with reality without choking on the contradictions. You lot preach this mythical moral high ground of discipline, honour, protection, Ìwà excellence, yet the majority pattern in practice is a one-sided extraction racket dressed in gele, enforced by physical coercion, performative begging, and cash per prostration toll gates while families quietly abandon every reciprocal duty they ever had. Where's the Omoluabi when the system demands grown men grovel on dirty floors for crowd entertainment, ignores their faith or dignity, and calls it "humility"? That's not character. That's dominance porn funded by the victim.
Now let's talk real hurt, since you're so keen on moral posturing. Nigeria has some of the highest rates of child sexual violence on the planet surveys and reports consistently show around 25-30% of girls experiencing rape or sexual assault before 18, many repeatedly, with under reporting because "family honour" silences victims faster than it protects them. Hausa, Yoruba, Igbo make up the bulk of the population at aroud 60%, the same groups waving the biggest cultural flags. So where the Bleep was that "sacred protection" and parental supervision you claim tradition demands? Where was the asa ibile monitoring, the chaperones, the lineage guarantee when girls are getting preyed on in compounds, schools, churches, streets? You demand full prostration and heavy lists from a groom who never raised her, but can't explain why so many families failed the basic duty of keeping their own daughters safe from predators in their own backyard. That's not superior character. That's selective memory weaponised for payday.
And here's the real savage hypocrisy you can't dodge. When your people pack up and settle in our countries UK, Norway, Canada, US do they bow to local customs with the same "respect boundaries" zeal you preach at me? Do they shut up about "whites have no culture," stop demanding halal/kosher/halal-adjacent everything in schools and workplaces, stop forming ethnic enclaves that barely integrate while screaming racism at every pushback? Or do they arrive expecting full cultural accommodation, religious exemptions, special treatment, while quietly looking down on the hosts as godless or inferior? You want me to be the perfect "guest" in Nigeria, swallow every dodgy toll gate custom without a peep, respect the racket because "it's heritage," but your diaspora kin abroad demand tolerance they would never extend back home. One-way street doesn't even cover it it's a facking highway with tolls only for the inbound traffic, free for outbound.
You bully consenting adults into scripted submission at home under "tradition" cover, then cross borders and cry foul the second anyone asks for the same cultural deference you refuse to give. Respect isn't a selective tax you levy on outsiders while your own skip the bill. It's either mutual or it's bollocks. Your "character" sermon collapses the moment we apply it consistently at home and abroad, to your people and mine. You don't get to weaponise "respect" as a leash on me while your lot treat host cultures as optional accessories. That's not wisdom. That's entitlement with beads on.
Your concessions are still on record. The hypocrisy just got louder. What's left, mate? More tone policing, or are we finally at the point where the mirror's too heavy to hold up?

Fenrir:
Ìwà. Character. Let's test that.
A family that ignores a grown man's faith, his personal beliefs, his dignity, and physically forces him to the ground at his own wedding, a wedding he funded, while his bride's family contributed nothing but matching aso ebi and open palms, while screaming "it is culture" about a tradition they already gutted by removing every obligation that ever applied to them, while the Nigerian Marriage Act Section 41 sits there making the entire coercion exercise a criminal offence, while they insult him for having the self respect to say no, while they threaten consequences for refusing humiliation on the most important day of his life.
That family is your example of Ìwà?
You invoked it. Not me. You said Ìwà is the first Yoruba principle. Character. So apply it consistently or don't invoke it at all.
Because here is what Ìwà actually requires in this situation. It requires that when a man says no, you respect no. It requires that when the law says coercion is a criminal offence, you acknowledge the law. It requires that when you have already abandoned your half of the traditional obligation, you don't demand the other party perform their half on their stomach. It requires that when someone calls out your hypocrisy with documented evidence, receipts, legal citations and historical sources, you answer the substance rather than attacking the messenger's tone.
None of that happened. What happened instead is exactly what happens in the threads. Attack the person. Ignore the argument. Invoke character while demonstrating none.
And then you have the extraordinary nerve to lecture me about Ìwà.
You also said something else worth examining. You said Adebola's trauma shouldn't be used as ammunition. Interesting framing. Because I didn't use her trauma as ammunition. I used her life as context for who shaped my understanding of what Yoruba tradition actually was before it became a toll road. She is the reason I know the difference between what tradition claimed to be and what it became. She is the reason I can spot the gap. Her story isn't ammunition. It's the origin of the standard I'm holding you to.
The ammunition in this thread is yours. Section 41. The fee breakdown. The timestamp pattern. The IUIC posting history. The Deuteronomy death wish for biracial children. The death threat to a man with sources. Those are the weapons and every single one of them came from your own posts.
You want to talk about a man who truly honours the woman who raised him. Fine. Adebola fled Yoruba men who gang raped her until she couldn't have children. She ran from the exact culture of impunity and entitlement your posts defend. Honouring her memory means saying that clearly and loudly. Not wrapping it in polite silence to protect the feelings of the community that destroyed her body and her future.
That's not contempt for Yoruba people. That's contempt for specific behaviour that specific people did and continue to do while hiding behind the word culture.
You conceded the argument three replies ago. You know the tradition is broken. You know the reciprocity is gone. You know the law is being violated. You know the Alaga extraction is real. You said so yourself.
Now you're just trying to find a frame that makes the person who proved it the villain.
Ìwà, you said.
Character.

Fenrir:
MOS 11B Åberg...ex Marine. I'll defend anyone that cannot defend themselves....

Let's be very clear about what just happened here. You conceded every single substantive point I made. Tradition was never one sided, you said so. Modern practice cherry picks what benefits them, you said so. Families that didn't uphold their duties can't demand full ceremonial honour without contradiction, your words not mine. The argument is won. You know it. I know it. The thread knows it.
What you're doing now is trying to salvage something from the wreckage by making the conversation about my tone rather than your concessions. That's not a rebuttal. That's a man who lost on points trying to get the fight stopped on a technicality.
Now let's talk about mockery and who earns it.
When a culture, not every individual but a demonstrable majority pattern, fraudulently presents extraction as tradition, illegally coerces adults into ceremonies the Nigerian Marriage Act Section 41 explicitly criminalises, physically forces men onto the ground while crowds scream "beg harder", charges per prostration like a toll road, then looks the groom in the eye and says "we don't sell our daughters" after collecting the equivalent of a small car in appliances and cash envelopes, then yes. Mockery is earned. Not as hatred. As the only honest response to something that has decided to call itself sacred while behaving like a procurement exercise.
You want to talk about the law since you brought it up. Interesting choice given your posting history. You invoke Nigerian constitutional law, African Charter rights, sovereignty arguments, and legal frameworks enthusiastically when those laws protect your narrative. The moment those exact same laws protect a couple from coercive family interference you pivot to cultural respect and tone policing. Section 41 of the Marriage Act isn't selective. It applies whether you find the critic respectful or not. The Constitution's protection of adult marriage autonomy doesn't have a clause exempting families who feel disrespected. You don't get to use the law as a sword when it suits you and call it an intrusion when it doesn't.
And one last thing. You keep referencing the woman I married as though her existence is a leash that should keep me quiet about the practices that exist in the culture she came from. That framing assumes that loving someone means accepting every dysfunction attached to their community without comment. That's not love. That's silence purchased with sentiment. The women I've known from Yorubaland, the ones who actually shaped who I am, would be the first to tell you that real respect means telling the truth even when it's uncomfortable. Especially then.
Your concessions are on the record. The rest is noise.

Fenrir:
Oi listen 'ere you muppet.
Born in the bleedin Arctic weren't I. Svalbard. Norwegian territory. Under seven 'undred miles from the North bleedin Pole where it ain't just suggested but actual law that you carry a rifle when you step outside or the polar bears'll 'ave you for their tea before the cold even gets a facking look in. I was 'unting them magnificent bastards before I was ten years old. Before you was even a dodgy itch in yer old man's kecks.
Got me emancipation papers at thirteen didn't I. Sent to the UK on me tod. And 'ere's somefing your colonial 'istory lessons proper skipped over ain't they. Scandinavians weren't considered white by the British back in them days were we. We was the wrong sort of European weren't we. The ones they looked dahn their bleedin noses at. So you can take your European privilege speech and shove it right up your Jacksie cos it don't fit me does it.
Me own flesh and blood tried to 'ave me brown bread over an inheritance I didn't even know existed did they. Thirteen years old. On me Jack Jones in a foreign country wiv nuffink but the clothes on me back.
You wanna know 'oo took me in then do ya. A Yoruba woman she was. Proper old school. The kind your selective so called tradition conveniently forgets ever existed don't it. The kind who wouldn't 'ave wedding customs so much as mentioned unless the bride's honour was proper intact cos to 'er tradition meant somefing real didn't it, meant everyfing moved in bovf directions or it weren't worf a brass farthing. She'd done a runner from Nigeria 'adn't she. Not cos of poverty. Not cos of 'ardship in the abstract like. She scarpered cos Yoruba men gang raped 'er repeatedly until 'er body couldn't carry nippers no more could it. She got 'erself to Europe and rebuilt 'erself from nuffink and then she took in a thirteen year old Scandinavian boy that nobody else wanted did she and she raised 'im proper like.
Norwegian, Swedish and Danish by blood ain't I. Yoruba by upbringing. African by every value that actually means a single facking fing to me.
So when you start flappin your north and south at me about not understandin African culture, about being a guest 'oo should keep 'is boat race shut, you best clock exactly 'oo you're 'avin a bubble wiv 'adn't ya. And get this straight in that bonce of yours. If Europe ever moved against Africa I'd pick up a weapon without so much as a moment's 'esitation, no questions asked, and I'd fight and die for this continent till me last bleedin breath. Not cos some mug told me to. Cos of a woman from Yorubaland 'oo gave me everyfing when me own people gave me the square root of Bleep all.
That's me qualification that is.
Wot's yours then, you melt.

Fenrir:
Let’s stop pretending.
When people shout “Our tradition! Prostrate! Do full Yoruba wedding! Respect our culture!”
they always list what the groom must do.
They almost never mention what the bride’s family was originally supposed to do to deserve all that respect, bride price, and full prostration package.
If we are talking real old school Yoruba custom (not 2026 selective memory), then “tradition” was a bundle:
If the groom’s side does X, Y, Z…
the bride’s family must also have done A, B, C.
You can’t demand one half and quietly delete the other.
Virginity = “lineage guarantee” (and the parents had duties here)
In old Yoruba custom, virginity wasn’t just a cute idea, it was family honour + lineage certainty.
There was asa ibile, the white cloth on the wedding night to prove virginity.
If she was a virgin, gifts and money went back to her parents in pride.
If not, symbolic shame (half-boiled yam, etc.) was sent instead.
Virginity was tied to good upbringing, proper monitoring, protection, and no secret boyfriends and baby daddies.
Meaning,
if you want to shout “our tradition!” about prostration & bride price, then the girl’s family were also obligated to.....
protect her from sexual abuse and exploitation
actually supervise her movements and relationships
insist on no sex before marriage if they want to use virginity as their cultural bragging right.
You cannot abandon all those parental duties, turn blind eye to “coded runs”, then still stand up on wedding day forming “we are traditional, prostrate for us.”
That’s not culture. That’s selective memory.
Proper upbringing & character, Ìwà, not just makeup.......
Traditional Yoruba marriage respected families that raised Omoluabi, good character.
The bride’s family was expected to,
raise her with discipline, honesty, respect, and home training
teach her how to live peacefully in another house, not how to weaponise drama
show that she is entering the man’s home as asset, not destabiliser
Old texts and studies emphasise that part of what groom’s family is “thanking” the bride’s family for (with owo orí, gifts, prostration) is the years of proper upbringing & moral training.
If you’ve never really raised the girl, grandparents did everything, or she basically raised herself on TikTok and church performances, then what exactly are we prostrating for?
Protection & supervision not throwing girls to wolves.....
Traditionally, there were clear systems......
alarina, go between and chaperones in courtship
structured visits
serious monitoring of who is courting the daughter and with what intention
If a grown man slept with an unbetrothed virgin, he was expected to pay and/or marry her there was some accountability......
Today?
many families don’t protect their daughters
don’t believe them when something happens
push them out early to “hustle”
then suddenly remember “tradition” when it’s time to collect list and bride price.
Again, you can’t throw away your side of the cultural duty, then resurrect it only when money and prostration enter the chat.
The bride’s “equipment” used to be their job, not the groom’s
Historically, the bride’s family were supposed to send her off properly equipped,
clothing
cooking tools
home essentials
things that show she’s ready to manage a home and contribute.
Now look at most modern lists:
“gas cooker, fridge, blender, full kitchen, generator, furniture…”
all dumped on the groom, while the bride’s family basically arrive with vibes, matching aso ebi and billing.
If we’re being honest,
Tradition = the bride’s family equip her to be an asset in that home.
Extortion = the groom fully equips their daughter and their own kitchen back home.
Pick one. Don’t call extortion “culture.”
Dowry (owo orí) was symbolic, not ransom.......
Old Yoruba custom:
dowry was often small and symbolic, and in many cases returned, to emphasise “we are not selling our daughter, this is just culture.”
Even where it wasn’t returned, it was still token-level, not “buy a mini-supermarket or no wife.”
Modern practice in many families?
Endless lists, extra bills on the day, “add something”, “Ibòmbo – we trained your daughter”, multiple unplanned levies.
Question,
If you truly trained her and truly spent on her, it will show in her character, skills, education, stability.
You won’t need to “over-compensate” on the list to prove it.
Ongoing support, not “collect and disappear”........
Traditionally, bride’s family didn’t just cash out and disappear,
they continued to support, advise, mediate, and guide the new couple
elders prayed, blessed, and sometimes corrected their own daughter when she was the problem,
Now?
Most families,
interfere when it benefits them
vanish when there is real problem
side their daughter blindly even when she’s wrong
still expect maximum respect + money flow + “in-law of the year” treatment.
Again, if we are using real tradition,
your role as bride’s family continues after the marriage. It’s not just “collect list & spray money.”
So what’s the actual point here?......
Not to insult Yoruba culture.
Not to say “women are bad” or “families are evil.”
The point is simple.....
You cannot demand full traditional obedience from a groom
when you did not fulfil your own traditional duties as the bride’s family.
If your daughter......
was not protected from abuse
was not supervised in courtship
was not raised with real Omoluabi character
was not properly equipped from your side
did not keep the “purity” you now weaponise
did not benefit from your ongoing moral support
…then be honest:
You are no longer operating full Yoruba tradition.
You are operating modern life + selective “tradition” for money and ego.
Fine. Life has changed. Nobody is perfect.
But then stop shouting:
“He must prostrate!”
“He must give us X, Y, Z because culture!”
“Registry alone is not marriage!”
If you want modern, do modern: registry + simple intro + mutual respect.
If you want tradition, then accept that tradition binds both families, not just the man.
Final questions for you Nigeria.....
Can a family that didn’t uphold the traditional duties listed above still demand full prostration and heavy “list” with a straight face?
Shouldn’t we be honest that what many people call “tradition” today is edited tradition, mostly focused on what the man must pay and perform?
If submission is demanded from the woman, and prostration from the man, then where is the matching accountability from both families?
No insults, No tribal bashing
Just simple logic
This is a logical trap......
1) if you defend the current practice then you are admitting its not tradition
2) if you admit it is tradition then you accept the obligations of the bride's family
3) if you say "times have changed" then you have to stop demaning/expecting prostration/bride price
4) if you attack then you cant defend your own logic
5) if you ignore it you prove hypocrisy and fraud

Fenrir:
😂😂

THE MASK SLIPS AND THE BABYLONIAN EMERGES
​I see you’ve chosen the "shut up, you’re a guest" door, which is exactly the kind of intellectual cowardice I expected. You spent an entire video claiming Yoruba wisdom exposes "dark systems of control," yet the moment that same wisdom is used to question your own local control systems, you pivot to xenophobic gatekeeping. Where is the humility you preach? You talk about me "intruding," but you’re the one trying to gatekeep a universal truth. If Ifa is a cosmic science, it belongs to the world; if it’s just a private club you use to extort grooms and silence critics, then it’s not a spiritual system, it’s a protection racket. You claim I lack respect, but real respect is being honest enough to call out hypocrisy. Demanding a man lie in the dirt while you invoice him for his own wife’s "upbringing" isn't respect it's dominance. You didn't address a single point about the Marriage Act, the lack of reciprocity, or the Alaga's "toll-gate" extraction because you can't. You’ve proven my point: your "tradition" is a one-way street where the "guest" pays and the "host" collects, and any question about the receipt is treated as a declaration of war.
​Your reply is dripping with the very "arrogance" you project onto me. You talk about "checking" people and "demise," which is just Babylonian "might makes right" logic wearing a traditional cap. An Omoluabi doesn't threaten a critic; an Omoluabi answers with character and truth. By resorting to "wait till you see what happens to people like you," you’ve admitted that your version of culture isn't built on love, lineage, or Ifa it’s built on fear and the enforcement of a financial status quo. You’ve basically confirmed that the "Mark of the Beast" you’re so worried about is already sitting at the head of your table, charging ₦50,000 for "Father’s Hearing." If my logic is "cultural insecurity," then why are you so insecure that you can’t explain why the bride’s side no longer provides the Eru Iyawo equipment? Why is the groom the only one whose "tradition" includes a shopping list?
​You say I have no authority to speak on heritage, but the Nigerian Constitution gives every adult the authority to choose their marriage path regardless of your "permission." You are trying to use heritage as a shield for legal fraud. If you truly believed in the power of Yoruba wisdom, you wouldn’t be afraid of a "mass debater" asking for a fair exchange. You’d welcome the chance to prove that your system isn't extractive. But you didn't. You barked about "limits" and "boundaries" because I stepped on your cash flow. That’s not a spiritual response; that’s a landlord response. You’ve shown the world that your "Babylon" isn't out there in the West it's the ego you’ve built around a selective, monetized version of your ancestors' bones. I’m not the one tramping on what’s sacred; you are, every time you put a price tag on a prostration and call it "culture."

Fenrir:
Right, listen up, you absolute collection of spineless, tradition shackled, bride price paying, permission-seeking muppets. I’m going to lay this out so bleeding simple that the fact I even have to say it is a damning indictment of how thoroughly you’ve had your brains marinated in absolute facking nonsense since the day you popped out. Cor blimey, it’s like watching a room full of blokes trying to do a runner from reality while their boots are nailed to the bleeding floor.

​You. Are. Adults. Full stop. End of theological debate. Pub’s closed, everyone leg it home before I get the facking broom out. You don't need anyone's permission. Not your mum's, not her dad's, and definitely not the uncle who’s turned up to the "introduction" wearing an agbada that costs more than your annual rent specifically so he can sit there looking like a proper lord of the manor while you’re down on the lino like a medieval peasant begging for the right to till his cabbage patch. That uncle can jog on. Briskly. In flip-flops. Uphill. He's taking the piss and you're letting him.

​Let’s dissect this "introduction" and bride price racket for a second, shall we? Because the cognitive dissonance here is genuinely staggering. You’re a grown man wiv a job, a car, maybe a degree, definitely a smartphone, and you are literally on your knees in someone’s front room asking a man who has done the absolute bare legal minimum for his daughter whether he’ll "graciously" permit you to marry her. The bare minimum, mate. Which, by the way, isn't an optional extra. You feed your kid or you go to the nick. You clothe your kid or social services turn up. You educate your kid or the state comes knocking. These aren't "achievements." These are the entry-level requirements for not being a criminal. There is no reward tier for basic parenting. There’s no gold star, and there’s certainly no bleeding invoice.

​Imagine you went to Tesco, did your shopping, paid at the till, and then the cashier said, "Oi mate, before you leave, you need to kneel and present gifts to my manager because he personally stocked these Hobnobs." You’d tell her she’d lost the plot and walk out wiv your biscuits. But somehow, when it’s a bride’s father demanding tribute for raising a human being he was legally obligated to raise, everyone acts like it’s "culture" and we must "respect" it. Pull the other one, it's got bells on. It’s extortion wiv a wrapper of tradition, and the wrapper is made of tissue paper.

​Now, here’s the bit that’ll make your brain proper itch. The Marriage Act. Section 41. It’s a criminal offence. If someone tries to obstruct a lawful marriage by falsely claiming their consent is required, that’s not a "cultural difference of opinion," it’s a facking crime. The father sitting there demanding schnapps, a goat, and an envelope before he’ll "bless" the union isn't exercising cultural authority he’s potentially committing an offence. The constitution doesn't have a footnote saying "unless the groom hasn't prostrated yet."

​And the church! The breathtaking hypocrisy of these places preaching "freedom in Christ" every Sunday and then quietly refusing to marry a couple because the bride price hasn't been settled. Brother, that is not in the Book. I’ve read it. Thoroughly. Jesus didn't once say, "Verily I say unto you, bring the father-in-law a chest freezer and two crates of Maltina before ye shall be joined." He went to a wedding in Cana, turned water into wine, and sorted out a catering crisis. That was his entire contribution. No list. No kneeling. No levies.

​You want to know what you actually have to do to get legally hitched in Nigeria? Both of you show up. Both of you be adults. Both of you consent. That’s the lot. The registrar can’t refuse you. A court official will come to your venue. You can book a hall, decorate it how you want, invite the people you actually like rather than forty-seven relatives you've never met who only showed up for the jollof, and get married. Done. Legal. Valid everywhere. The families can attend or stay home and sulk; they can take their bride price list and use it as a serviette because it has exactly zero legal weight.

​The thing that gets me, truly, is the blokes in this Nairaland thread performing this massive act of grief over the "financial burden" while simultaneously ignoring the tools that would delete that burden overnight. You’re upset about the cost of the introduction? Don't do it. Legally optional. Upset about the bride price? Don't pay it. Legally optional. Upset about the white wedding costing a fortune because her family has "opinions"? Tell them their opinions are noted and irrelevant, then book the venue you can actually afford.

​The law is on your side at every single step, yet you’re carrying a burden you voluntarily picked up because you were too scared of a bloke in a fancy robe to put it back down. You’re both the victim and the architect of your own misery, and that’s a dodgy place to be. It's absolute bollocks.

​The good news is it stops the second you decide it stops. Registry office. Venue. Invitations. Official. Done. Married. No permission required from any soul on this earth. The families will be fine. They always are. Deep down, they want to be at the wedding way more than they want to miss it, and they know it. You just need to realize that they know it. It's a proper blinder of a realization once you get there.

​Stop kneeling. It’s embarrassing.

Fenrir:
THE QUESTION: YOUR "TRADITION" IS THE BABYLON YOU'RE SCREAMING ABOUT
You weaponise Yoruba Ifa to decode the Mark of the Beast and Babylon's control grid. Fair play on the surface. But truth doesn't pick sides like a bad politician. If Ifa is the uncorruptible mirror you claim, it reflects your own compound's bullshit just as harshly as it does the white man's systems. Selective decoding isn't wisdom it's hypocrisy with beads on.
You drop "Ehena" as ancient spiritual code for out of control outlaw types tied to Revelation's Beast. Cool story from your video. But if that lens is valid, point it inward first. Because what looks more Ehena than families who abandoned reciprocal Asa Ibile ages ago, then resurrect "tradition" only when it's payday?
Real Old Yoruba Marriage Wasn't A Toll Road It Was Balanced Fire
Historically not this 2026 Lagos remix the groom brought symbolic owo ori (often token/returned), kola, wine, fruits, yams, etc., as appreciation. Bride's side equipped her with Eru Iyawo essentials: cooking pots, clothes, bedding, contributions to start the home proof of proper upbringing and readiness to build. Reciprocity. Mutual honour. Not this groom funded appliance empire while bride's family shows up in fresh aso ebi and empty hands.
Nearly all modern lists flipped it, groom buys fridge, gen, inverter, AC, iPhone, furniture sets, cash envelopes for every auntie's "upbringing fee." Bride's family? Crickets on equipping her. That's not evolution. That's selective tradition keep the extraction, ditch the contribution. If times changed economics, why didn't the reciprocity change too? Why only the groom's burden balloon?
Ìwà Palm Oil Test
You demand full idobale prostration for raising an Omoluabi of genuine character. But if the bride was TikTok raised, street-coded, or left to "hustle" while parents chased other things, what character are we grovelling for? Basic adulting isn't Omoluabi excellence. Demanding royal submission for average performance is gaslighting dressed in gele.
Alaga, The Real Ehena Extraction Squad
You preach Ehena as lawless, out of control deceivers. Look at most Alagas now: online bragging about extraction per stage entrance fee, letter reading tax, father's hearing levy, prostration surcharge. Charging per paragraph of roast, turning sacred covenant into pay per humiliation content. That's not mediation. That's organised grift with cultural cosplay. If Ehena means uncontrolled outlaw behaviour, congratulations you've got live examples at every urban owambe.
The Symbolic Scam
Collect millions in appliances, cash, goods across endless tollgates. Then slap a token 5k-10k "bride price" on the list and chant "we don't sell our daughters." Bollocks. If you're not selling, why itemise her upbringing cost to a stranger who never fed, clothed, or raised her? That's deception with receipts. Pure Babylonian sleight of hand: extract under spiritual cover, then deny the transaction.
Dominance Theatre, Not Humility
Forcing grown men to their bellies on their wedding day overriding faith, dignity, personal choice for crowd entertainment and family ego. "Beg harder," they shout, while physically pinning him down. That's not cultural respect. That's power porn funded by the victim. And when he refuses? Suddenly "tradition" becomes the impediment, overriding his constitutional right to marry without coercion.
Legal Fraud Masked As Culture
Nigerian Marriage Act Section 41, anyone who falsely pretends their consent is legally required to block a consenting adult marriage commits an offence. Using "culture" to extract, humiliate, and control threatening to withhold the bride unless the groom submits to every stage is exactly that false pretence. You've just dressed Babylonian coercion in agbada and beads.
The Logical Cage No Exit
Defend the current cash-and-humiliation system? You're admitting ancient Ifa wisdom means nothing when money's on the table.
Admit it's a modern edit? Then stop demanding blind obedience to an edited script especially the expensive, one-sided bits.
Claim "times have changed"? Then update the whole damn thing: drop the prostration theatre, the tollgates, the appliance lists, and bring back reciprocity.
Attack me personally? Logic still stands untouched.
Ignore it? Hypocrisy confirmed in silence.
You cannot blast Babylon's New World Order while running a New World Wedding Order built on staged submission, selective extraction, and cash-gated "respect."
Nearly all of what passes for Yoruba tradition in 2026 Lagos/Ibadan weddings isn't tradition. It's Babylon in better lace and gele, charging admission to its own deception.
Pick a door, any door. They all lock from the inside.
Your move.

NetbizBoss:
This is a traditional festival federal and state governments should sponsor it. Just like they fund foreign religions on pilgrimage with billions of taxpayers money. They should as well sponsor indigenous religion to balance the unfare treatment

madridguy:
Did I mentioned any tribe in my post?

madridguy:
Yoruba and Hausa language are the two common indigenous languages in Nigeria.

You must speak either of the two to excel in Nigeria.

sweetkev:
19th century train. We too dey hype for this country abeg