Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,150,841 members, 7,810,241 topics. Date: Saturday, 27 April 2024 at 01:44 AM

IamBenita's Posts

Nairaland Forum / IamBenita's Profile / IamBenita's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (of 6 pages)

Literature / The Ants And The Proud Elephant Short Stories by IamBenita(f): 2:49am On Jan 02, 2022
Celebrities / Children's Website Name Idea Needed Urgently by IamBenita(f): 1:06pm On Dec 04, 2021
Ok guys, so I know this might be off topic, but I urgently need children's website name ideas. Please something very unique. Thanks alot
Romance / My Boyfriend Still Hangs Out With His Ex – What Can I Do? by IamBenita(f): 7:51pm On Nov 27, 2021
Trust is a vital part of any relationship and can be easily remedied with open communication.

When an ex is lurking in the background, it is a red flag. I know right! If your boyfriend is mature enough to keep his ex as a friend, then it’s fine. If he’s communicating with her in secret, that’s cause for concern over his lack of honesty in his relationship with you. Chances are, if the ex and your partner seperated amicably, they’re still gonna talk. Communicating is fine, but jumping into bed with her is absolutely wrong. If two exes still flirts together after their relationship has ended, it means something is up ! It is really not possible for your partner to be fully committed to you if he still moves about or always seen with his ex in secret places. It’s the plain truth. You are already in grey area if your partner still calls or moves about with his ex every now and then. Again, if he calls or contacts her occasionally, it’s fine.

I still talk to most of the guys I have dated. We are all in other relationships, and even when we weren’t, talking to each other post-relationship didn’t mean jumping back into bed together. The thing about relationships is that you have things in common, shared experiences, and get to know each other very well. After all, the base of the terms girlfriend and boyfriend is “friend”. Just because they don’t have sex anymore doesn’t mean they have to throw away years of friendship. That’s ridiculous.

Truth is that you would still be messed up or probably mad at your boyfriend when you find out he still has some soft spots for his ex or he still sees her, but you should calmly talk it out with him. This is the first and most matured approach to handling the situation. The most important word for a successful relationship is “Trust”. Trust issue is not a good basis to build a healthy relationship. It really depends how and when he talks to his ex. I reckon he gives you enough reason to doubt him. Take approaches with caution or you make mistakes.

Sometimes, men doesn’t completely break up with their exes. It is what I call “seperation hangover”.

Ex means gone.

Ex means past and past must be left behind. Really?

Now girlfriend, I might sound a little off limit but here is the truth. It takes time for one to completely forget his/her ex, especially when they shared a great bond together. It’s completely normal. I would probably do the same if I were to have an ex I shared a lot with. It would be difficult to let go at first, but with time I’d be able to get over him. It’s nature and sometimes we can’t help it.

You two are in a “Relationship” right? You are still dating and studying each other to see if things will who knows, maybe lead to marriage. Chill and trade with caution. People make lots of efforts for getting into relationships, but little efforts afterwards. If you truly love your boyfriend, you should be able to work for it. Keep that in mind, you will have to make some serious efforts to retain your love interest or make him fall in love with you so much that he forgets his ex. How many more breakups will you go through to get the perfect man anyways? There is no perfect man, Life itself is not even. You have to work on him to make him perfect for you. It’s important for you two to get along well physically and emotionally. If that is not happening, make it happen. Your partner chose to be with you, not his ex. Respect your partner’s choice and grab enough self-esteem to realize that maybe you really are worthy of being his partner, and talking to another girl doesn’t mean he is going to drop her panties and hop into her bed.

Relationships and marriages are like jungle and you need to compete to survive. If he’s talking to his ex, that’s because he feels the need. He feels something is missing from his life and you need to fill that void. You need to do fun and newer things in your relationship. Do things in a different perspective so that he starts valuing you more. A man in love will let no serious outside distraction into his life, so invest your time on him and stop trying to control him or who he talks to.

People gonna say you are insecure and they will ask you to trust him and allow him to talk to her ex. Actually, you should not! As far as insecurity is concerned, its an obvious thing that you will feel insecure and it’s his duty not to do anything which can make his partner insecure.

My point is, don’t be too quick to judge him. Getting angry and possessive over him, and trying to prevent him from talking to his friends, is not going to make things change. If anything, it will make the situation worse. If you are aware or suspect any weird connection between your boyfriend and his ex and you are concerned about it, calmly talk things out with him. Have a conversation with him and explain that him seeing his ex girlfriend is making you insecure and you are concerned for your future together. Yes, he should be aware of the way you feel, it’s your right, but don’t get into a fight with him. Ask him the reasons for his actions and if he complains of any glitches from your side, promise you are gonna work on yourself and you would be much happy if he does same too. Give him little time to adjust and work on those missing aspects to better yourself. In a relationship, there are two different people, two different ways and two different values, characteristics and thinking. Be strong and trust him after you’ve told him your feelings. Both sides have to trust each other and stand firm upon that mutual trust. A RELATIONSHIP is a team of two, compromising every single day to make it work. And believe me it is a great work.

There are emotions, which should not be played with. If after trying your best and talking out things with him, yet you see no improvement, take a break (not break-up). This will give you the room to realize if the situation can be handled by you or you are done convincing him. This break will make him understand that you are not taking the matter likely and his actions affect you. Let him know that you need some time to analyze the situation and want him to also ponder over the matter.

My Boyfriend still talks with his ex

If after this much efforts he still cheats and sneak around with his ex and your gut feeling tells you he won’t change, it’s probably a red flag too big to ignore. There is a big room for an exit. “It’s a Relationship” not marriage.
www.relationshipwithnita.com

Nairaland / General / Reasons Why You Should Always Keep Hope Alive In Every Situation by IamBenita(f): 9:08pm On Jun 13, 2021
[url][/url]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_KEswD1suM&t=19s

Just A little Motivational Piece to Keep You Going.

how do you keep hoping when all hope is fading? it’s much harder when you can’t see much opportunity amidst the obstacles. When life’s circumstances, drop us to our knees, we feel a loss of hope. However, by understanding that hope is a choice, we can cope better and keep it alive. Once you choose hope, anything is possible. If you give up, you fail.
God will surely fight your battles if you just keep still. He is able to carry you through. Trust Him. Keep standing, keep believing and keep hoping

Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit. ~Norman Vincent Peale

1 Like

Romance / Tricks And Tips To Get Your Ex To Fall In Love With You Again by IamBenita(f): 11:23am On Dec 06, 2020
If you happen to be sitting down reading this article, chances are you may want to know how to get your ex back. If you just broke up, and are thinking about winning your ex back, you will find this article helpful and enlightening.

After breakup you are hurt, emotionally drained and confused. And during this state of confusion, you are bound to make so many mistakes that can hurt your chances of getting your ex to love you again.

This article is like a plan that gives you hope and a sense of direction. A plan that will give you something to look forward to when you are feeling down about a breakup and want your ex to fall in love with you again.
To get Your Ex back, you need the new “Improved You”. Here is the secret:

Look amazing, smell nice, workout, look like you are very happy and doing great in your life. Look sexy, fun, confident and attractive, Look like a ” catch” and make your ex wonder why he broke up with you..

Your ex can’t help but wonder what brought so much positive change in you.

To get your ex to fall right back in love with you and stay, you need three key factors.

No Contact Rule
Bringing a positive change in your life and become a confident, happy and attractive person.
Now its time to contact your ex and meet them somewhere.
1. No Contact.

How to get back your ex



There is a thing called no contact rule, It’s simple and very effective. All you have to do is stop all the communication with your ex for a short period of time. No calling, no Facebook messaging or any online contact, no texting, no hanging out with common friends in hopes of meeting your ex.

Your ex needs some time and space to remove all the negative thoughts from the breakup and start missing you. Now I know what you are thinking!

“If I don’t contact my ex, he or she will forget about me”.

“What if my ex moves on during no contact?”

“What if my ex meets someone and get married during no contact?”

“What if my ex forgets about me during no contact?”

The answer to all of them is NO, THEY WON’T.

If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, they will not be able to move on so quickly. No contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good memories they shared with you. He will be wondering all the time why you are not contacting him/her. You want to be on your ex’s mind as much as you can.

Learn to live without them if you want to get back with them. Unless you learn to live without them, you will most likely be needy and desperate whenever you see them or talk to them and that will make you look unattractive to your ex. Nobody wants to be with a needy and desperate person. By not contacting him, you immediately become not needy in his mind. The fact is, you are a mess after a breakup. Get a hold of yourself and gain some perspective. You need space to calm down and analyze your relationship thoroughly, to realize whether or not being with your ex is exactly what you need. Sometimes, what we want, is not exactly what we need. The no contact period should be as long as it takes you to get yourself together and feel great about your life without your ex. It can take up to 30 days.

The No Contact Rule is effective in getting an ex back, because it creates a much needed space between the both of you that helps you and your ex to heal and get some perspective. When you heal and stop the push dynamics between you and your ex, you allow the love you had for each other to resurface.

If your ex starts dating someone else, don’t freak out and start begging or using pity to tell them how much you love them, agreeing to all their conditions and allow them use you as a doormat. The truth is, your ex is most probably in a rebound relationship. Almost all of the rebound relationships end sooner rather than later, because they are ways for many people to deal with breakups. Just because your ex is in a rebound relationship, doesn’t mean they will forget about you and move on. It just means the opposite. It means that they are having a hard time moving on and its a way for them to avoid grief and that means it will take them longer to get over you. The thought of your ex being with someone else is a gut wrenching one. But in reality, it’s not really as bad as we make it look.



2. Bringing a positive change in your life.

How to get back your ex



No contact will be of no use unless you try to make a positive change in your life during this period. If you just want to stay at home and be miserable for the next one month, things are not going to change even after no contact period. Spend time with your loved ones, get in the best shape and get new clothes for yourself. Be confident and not needy, neediness is very unattractive and usually comes with self doubt. You have to work on yourself and become a more confident and happy person. Unless you make a positive change in yourself, your ex will not be able to convince themselves to get back together with you.

Go out on a date. Now let me tell you how your ex will feel when he sees you date someone else.

I had a gold wristwatch that I stopped wearing, because I felt it was already old and no longer good enough for me. So I dumped it somewhere in my room for months. A friend of mine visited and saw this watch. She said she loved it so much & would love to wear it to a party the next day. I told her she can have it and keep it for herself since I no longer wear it. Suddenly, I changed my mind “Why would she prefer to wear this old watch out of all my beautiful watches?” I said to myself. “it must be a cool watch after all.” Now I need my watch back! So I asked her to return it to me after the party.



This is exactly how your ex will react when they see you are dating someone else after a breakup. When they see that you are becoming stronger, not weaker, they will feel the itch of jealousy nagging at them, and begin wondering why they left you in the first place. If you don’t put yourself out there and you stay hidden under your blanket scrolling your Instagram & Facebook, there is little chance that you will have an opportunity to make your ex jealous. Go for a walk around the block by yourself with your head held high. Use your Facebook to your advantage. Remember we talked about going places and looking good as a weapon that would make your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend jealous? Post those pictures and write about them. If your ex is on your Facebook, it will be nearly impossible for them to NOT see what you are up to.

Now let’s move on to the next step of the plan.



3. Its time to contact your ex.



After not being in contact with your ex for a while and you’ve really worked on yourself and your appearance, your ex must be wondering what the heck happened to you. They will start remembering the things they liked about you and what they found attractive in you. This is when you contact them. As they lay eyes on you, they see the new and improved you, you look confident, sexy, fun and attractive.

Before you contact your ex, make sure that:

You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
You have made a few positive changes in your life.
You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
You are sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you .
You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.
You know your ex better than anyone, so it’s your decision whether or not you want to use just call, text messages, or both.

Text messages are short, they are personal and you can be sure your ex will read your texts. It’s great for building attraction with your ex if used correctly. If they really missed you, they will be excited to get a text from you.

Never write empty messages that doesn’t give your ex anything to talk about. For example:

“Hey”
smiley
“Hey, How are you?”
“I miss you”


Never talk about getting back together or your feelings. Example

“I love you”
“I want you back in my life”
“I miss you”
“I am miserable without you”
Never say something negative or argue over text. Example:

“If you had just shown a little more effort, we could have been together by now”
“Your child misses you. You are terrible father to leave him like that.”


here are a few things that you should do while texting your ex.
Remind them of good moments you had together.
“Hey, how have been? remember the little restaurant where we had our first anniversary date? I just crossed it and it looks like they are closing down. It’s a shame because we had such a great time that day.”


Let them know you are having fun with your life and meeting new people. Example:
“Hey, I just saw a romantic movie with a friend. The ending reminded me of our first date.”
“Hey, I am going to hongkong for the weekend with a friend. Do you remember the name of the hotel we stayed in when we went last year?”
there are tons of things you can do with texts, but make sure to be subtle, positive and fun. Go from that creepy ex to a fun text buddy. This way, you will be moving things forward slowly.

When you think it’s the right time, you can go ahead and ask them out.
When you ask your ex out, do not call it a date. You don’t want them thinking that you are looking to get back together. You want them to go out with you as a friend and then you can build up attraction and trust while you are with them.

The best way to ask them out is to give them a call. It’s possible they might require a slight push. A simple “Hey, it’s just a coffee Or “come on, it’ll be fun.” What’s the harm?” However, don’t go overboard in pushing them. You have to treat them like an acquaintance you want to get close with. As you are on the date, you want it to be your ex’s idea to get back together. You just want to be yourself, attractive, fun and happy. Do not talk about your breakup or your past relationship, It will lead to no good and this can lead to unhealthy arguments. There is no point digging old graves when you want to start a new life. That relationship is already over and if you two do get back together, it will be a new relationship.

So, if you want your ex back, don’t give up just yet.

Get them back and give the relationship one more try.

If your ex doesn’t see the wonderful qualities in you after all this period and thinks they are better off without you, then take some time to consider that you may be better off without them too and better person awaits you out there.

For more helpful hacks & tips, visit plumdynamic.com

Romance / Kinky Masturbation Ideas To Help You Get A Very Strong Orgasm by IamBenita(f): 7:15pm On Aug 26, 2020
Masturbation is normal, natural and a happy experience. Sex and pleasure is natural to women and men, it’s a great way to relieve sexual tension and feel good about yourself.
There is this magic that happens when a woman orgasms. Orgasms release dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins that can improve your mood.
A lot of women with difficult period and menstrual cycles masturbate to make things better. This is because, masturbating or self stimulating yourself to an orgasm, results in a uterine contraction that helps the menstrual blood flow, and reduces pain and cramping.
Lots of people masturbate! Even if they don’t talk about it, it’s common for people of any gender or age to do it, both single people and people in relationships masturbate. Different people masturbate for different reasons, either it helps them relax, they want to release sexual tension, their partner isn’t around or it just makes them feel good.

To achieve a very strong orgasm during solo self pleasure, you have to follow this three steps:

1. Deny yourself orgasm for sometime.

2. Sensation Play.

3. Sensory Deprivation.

To learn how to use and explore this three methods to achieve a very strong and magical sensational orgasm, continue here: http://www.plumdynamic.com/health-kinky-masturbation-ideas-that-will-help-you-get-strong-orgasm/

Romance / The Untold Secret Tips To Achieving Vaginal Orgasm. by IamBenita(f): 7:41am On Jul 22, 2020
what is an orgasm
Orgasm is that overpowering body experience and the peak of sexual excitement. It is an intense feeling of physical pleasure and sensation, which comes with a discharge of erotic tension.

To discover the secrets to orgasm, women needs to understand the way their body works and most sensitive parts of their body. It is a known fact that men easily reach orgasm more than women. For some women, it takes long time for them to climax while some are incapable of achieving orgasm at all.
There is help for women who can't reach climax during intercourse.
Here are some of the secrets to easily achieve orgasm..Read on > https://www.plumdynamic.com/untold-secrets-to-achieving-female-orgasm/

Romance / Is Your Relationship Failing, Here Are 10 Most Intelligent Ways To Save It by IamBenita(f): 11:32am On Jul 16, 2020
When you and your partner first get together , everything is cool and exciting. You overlook the annoying things the other person does. After some time, nagging starts to crawl in, instead of hearing, “You look so good,” you might start to hear stuffs like “Why are you still on bed?” “What is the meaning of that crap you just said to me”. If this sounds like your relationship, then you two need to understand things have changed. To save your relationship, you have to Identify the things you both did in the beginning of the relationship which created the attraction in the first place.

Here are Ways You Can Build a Long Lasting Relationship.... Read here> https://www.plumdynamic.com/is-your-love-life-falling-apart-here-are-10-most-effective-ways-to-save-a-relationship/

Romance / 14 Simple Life Hacks That Might Just Save Your Life One Day by IamBenita(f): 11:17am On Jul 16, 2020
You never know what kind of crazy or dangerous situation you might end up in and knowing some life saving hacks can help you get out of those situations.

This Survival Hacks may seem unnecessary at first glance, but each of them just might save your life one day.

1. Always keep an extra money in your phone case at all times. That way, if you are ever out of cash, you will have something to fall back on. This also works great for people who have lost their wallets.

2. If you are in a crowded space, take note of different exits. In case of fire or some other kind of disaster, people will always try to go out through that same door they all came in, causing a jam.

3. If you get into an accident or suddenly feel unwell in a public place, ask for assistance from just one person. There will be more chances of getting help from a single person instead of a crowd of people who assume that the other person close by will render help to you.

4. If you or someone you know is stabbed or punctured by a sharp object, do not remove it till you get to the hospital with the injured. The object is preventing blood from gushing out.

Learn more survival Tips here @ https://www.plumdynamic.com/14-simple-life-hacks-that-can-save-your-life-one-day/

1 Like

Celebrities / Gokada CEO, Fahim Saleh Brutally Murdered And Dismembered In His Newyork Hom by IamBenita(f): 10:27am On Jul 16, 2020
Tech entrepreneur Fahim Saleh, who was the CEO of former bike-hailing app Gokada, was on Tuesday, July 14, 2020, found dead and dismembered inside his Luxury $2.5Million home which he bought last year.

The 33-year-old’s body was discovered by his sister who went to visit him when she became worried after not hearing from him in a day.

She found him headless while his hands and legs had been cut up and sorted into different plastic bags.....Read full Murder details here https://www.plumdynamic.com/gokada-founder-fahim-saleh-brutally-murdered-and-dismembered-in-his-newyork-home/

Crime / Gokada CEO, Fahim Saleh Brutally Murdered And Dismembered In His Newyork Home by IamBenita(f): 10:18am On Jul 16, 2020
Tech entrepreneur Fahim Saleh, who was the CEO of former bike-hailing app Gokada, was on Tuesday, July 14, 2020, found dead and dismembered inside his Luxury $2.5Million home which he bought last year.

The 33-year-old’s body was discovered by his sister who went to visit him when she became worried after not hearing from him in a day.

She found him headless while his hands and legs had been cut up and sorted into different plastic bags. Read full murder details here> https://www.plumdynamic.com/gokada-founder-fahim-saleh-brutally-murdered-and-dismembered-in-his-newyork-home/

Celebrities / Popular Youtuber Nicole Thea Passes Away Together With Her Unborn Child. by IamBenita(f): 10:08am On Jul 16, 2020
popular YouTuber Nicole Thea passed away on Saturday at the age of 24. During the announcement of her passing, it was revealed that her unborn son, Reign passed away as well. The 24-year-old Youtube star and her unborn son died from a suspected heart attack on Saturday...Read more here https://www.plumdynamic.com/popular-youtuber-nicole-thea-passes-away-together-with-her-unborn-child/

Nairaland / General / Re: Get Your Quaranteen Free Recharge Cards by IamBenita(f): 1:41pm On Apr 07, 2020
yemibayo:
done 08124444111

Sent. Thanks
Nairaland / General / Re: Get Your Quaranteen Free Recharge Cards by IamBenita(f): 1:40pm On Apr 07, 2020
Ayomideayo:
Done...08149259509 MTN

Sent. Thanks
Nairaland / General / Re: Get Your Quaranteen Free Recharge Cards by IamBenita(f): 1:40pm On Apr 07, 2020
Chinweoa:
Done. 09090236590
9mobile

Sent. Thanks
Romance / Re: Get Your Quarantine Free Recharge Cards. by IamBenita(f): 11:11am On Apr 07, 2020
KIK0:
Done

08163605435 mtn

sent. Thanks.
Romance / Re: Get Your Quarantine Free Recharge Cards. by IamBenita(f): 11:08am On Apr 07, 2020
Centlove:
Mtn
08164322096

Sent. Thanks
Romance / Re: Get Your Quarantine Free Recharge Cards. by IamBenita(f): 11:08am On Apr 07, 2020
Gozbrown:
I just subscribed
08145019761-mtn

Sent. Thanks
Romance / Re: Get Your Quarantine Free Recharge Cards. by IamBenita(f): 11:08am On Apr 07, 2020
abjonline:

I've just subscribed now but I know how to share the screenshot.
somebody pls help

Sent. Thanks
Romance / Re: Get Your Quarantine Free Recharge Cards. by IamBenita(f): 11:07am On Apr 07, 2020
stainless14:
09064529806 mtn
Subscribed

Sent. Thanks

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (of 6 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 76
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.