₦airaland Forum

safarigirl:
Her IG is beautybybemii

the girl is beautiful

MizzD:
Sweetpink, I hope you’re watching your boo flirting with obaseki..

He wants to massage her in her bed and is also Inviting her to his bed

Hermes go fvck her soon

Safarigirl likes Sheggz deepdown, that hatred you have for him is because you don't have access to him

safarigirl:
Whew!

It's been a while I was here. So, I'm back for another review and rating. This time, it's for the newly released Glamour Girls, which is a PlayNetwork production, with a collaboration from Netflix, so you know, money was not an issue. I will be reviewing what exactly Play Network used this excess funds they must have gotten, to do.


Movie Title: Glamour Girls
Cast:
Nse-Ikpe Etim
Sharon Ooja
Joselyn Dumas
Toke Makinwa
Segilola
James Gardiner
Uzor Arukwe
Chukie "Lynxx" Edozien
Taymesan
Ejike Asiegbu
Femi Branch
Producer: Charles Okpaleke
Director: Bunmi Ajakaiye
Writer; Kemi Adesoye

Plot:

We follow the luxury lives of a group of women who make money off of wealthy men. Lies, deceit and betrayal are part of the ingredients to this life.

Review:

To be honest, if the plot seems vague and empty to you, it's because that's what the entire movie was; vague and empty.

While I expected the movie to tank, from the moment I learnt of the cast, I did not expect it to tank this much. Mo Abudu must be sighing in relief, that this shambolic production doesn't have her name on it. Honestly, I saw this movie for 46 minutes, and the entire time, I was waiting for it to start. 46 minutes in and nothing had happened. Where do I even begin?

Dem say make we try dey talk good, before we talk bad. So, the good from this movie? Uzor Arukwe, Lynxx, and James Gardiner. Beautiful men, very beautiful. Lovely African men.

Another good? Well, at least we are once again reminded that a lot of people who live luxury lives are not doing it on their dime or on the back of legal dealings, so, if you never blow because you're on the straight narrow, no feel say na only your head dem no wash. Na just road you no know, and some of those roads are not nice.

Phew! Let us now get into the nitty gritty of it all...

Let me start with casting, because like I said, from the moment I saw the cast, I knew this movie would not bang so hard. Sharon Ooja as Emmanuella, this lady is one of those people that I'm conflicted on; can she really act, or is it pretty privilege? My conflict was not resolved by her performance in this movie. There were moments I thought she was doing too much, and moments she was doing just fine. In total, her performance was decent, but not quite AMVCA Best Actress level. Nse Ikpe-Etim as Donna, while being a boss lady, was a bit too stiff. I have never seen Nse give such a poor performance, and I have to blame her co-stars for killing her vibe, because Nse can do no wrong in my eyes. Toke Makinwa as Lulu, chai! Toke should please, stick to those short YouTube videos she does with Falz, she had possibly the worst performance of the four ladies, her character just seemed like a caricature. There was a scene where Nse, Toke and Sharon were gathered at Donna's (Nse) house, the delivery in that scene was so poor, I cringed the entire time. And then Joselyn Dumas' performance was like she been no collect complete money for the film. It lacked any kick to it. Even when Jemma (Dumas), was broken by her boyfriend, Alexander's (Edozien) actions, it still did nothing. Thank God for her chemistry with Lynxx sha, it was a saving grace, because we got some intense, seggsual something from it. Possibly the only pair that brought what I imagine the producers were going for, as far as on-screen chemistry went.

Where the women tanked though, the men somehow held their own. Uzor Arukwe's brilliance need not be reiterated at this point, because we can clearly see why Nollywood dey rush the guy like hot puffpuff, but once again, he brought some comic relief playing Lulu's (Makinwa) Igbo husband. His mannerism and speech was nicely delivered and very believable. Femi Branch, is another actor who can never be caught slacking. I truly enjoyed his portrayal of Kunle, Emmannuella's (Ooja) 'sponsor'. Gardiner as Zeribe, played the tough bodyguard with a soft spot for oga's babe appropriately. We could have gotten more as far as chemistry with Sharon Ooja was concerned, but I'm not sure who to blame for this failure between himself and Sharon. I got what they were going for, but whatever chemistry rose at some points, would quickly fall, like a poorly baked cake. Taymesan as Tommy was decent, although he did not have to play a challenging role, and neither did Ejike Asiegbu tbh.

This is the first movie production I have seen Lynxx in, we hadn't heard much of him since he decided he was a born again pastor, and secular music held no interest for him anymore. Imagine my surprise that our MOG was playing the charming, seductive and very deceptive love interest of Joselyn. Ladies and Gentlemen, yes, I am a simp for Mr. Lynxx. Please, I don't have much to say, but filmmakers, call this guy. He's got the IT factor. Thanks and God bless. I look forward to seeing more of Lynxx on screen.

Now, to other things; plotline, sound, editing. PlayNetwork used money they should have used to hire a good scriptwriter, to travel around the world. When Donna (Ikpe-Etim) got into some issues, we saw her jetting to Beirut and Berlin, for what? We no know. They sha gave them money, and they used it for trips. The plot was a whole mess of parts that did not align, so, the editing was clearly questionable. The settings were good, albeit lazy, because seeing luxury in Nollywood doesn't hold the same excitement as before. Na aesthetics we go chop? The sound was also poor...just hold remote with you, because it got very loud whenever the soundtracks were on, and then low, when the actors were speaking.

We saw so many scenes that we could neither make sense of, nor justify. So many unanswered questions; what did Lulu's husband see when he went through that door? What led to the death of Alexander the Accountant? How did a third flash drive magically appear for Donna to steal $6 billion? And why were they playing "You're my honey bunch, sugar plum..." In a boxing scene?

We may never know the answers to these questions, and we honestly pray Play Network does not feel compelled to answer them with a sequel, because we will revolt.

This movie was a waste of time, a disservice to the memory of the iconic Glamour Girls of 1994, and a poor attempt at a remake. They should have used all that money to pay ASUU to call off the strike.


Rating: 5/10

Watch/Trash; The story is sweeter when someone else gists you, but you can watch for Lynxx .

If you have already made the error of seeing the movie, what are your genuine thoughts and ratings on the movie?

g

MizzD:
Hermes and Allysyn ship will bang sha

I just need a ship to work with me this season.. it can’t end with me being shippless

two weird looking folks

All i know is that safarigirl has a crush on Sheggz, but she doesn't want to admit it

Demnan:
Whats her handle, please?

give me 5k recharge card and I'll tell u

1stSonOfLucifer:

why are u shocked can't you decipher that Sheggz is a crazy guy

Blaxhex:
This doyin is so fucking annoying.
She's trying to play the viewers it's so obvious

you're more annoying than Doyin, rest

FIGARO00:
Abeg, make ona nor vex o.

How do y'all manage to stomach Modella and only complain about Amaka?

Babe has a grating voice, like fingernails scraping a blackboard.

Anytime modella is talking, I feel like yanking her off the screen, grabbing her by her cheap wig!

you just don't like modella why

safarigirl:
APC cannot win Abuja. How many rural areas dey here? What do you think the population is in these rural areas?

I voted in an area some people would call a rural area in 2019, and APC could not win that axis. Abuja is a cosmopolitan city, it is not like some other states that this rural area talk holds true.

APC may only win Gwagwalada, but the other places? Not at all.

safarigirl you dey ignore me is it because I insulted your Bryann, the silent treatment is getting to me o

FIGARO00:
Abeg, make ona nor vex o.

How do y'all manage to stomach Modella and only complain about Amaka?

Babe has a grating voice, like fingernails scraping a blackboard.

Anytime modella is talking, I feel like yanking her off the screen, grabbing her by her cheap wig!

You're not sane

safarigirl:
Lol. Even the one wey dem say he been dey jealous him ex so tey he broke her legs because she was the one making money between them both.

Na gist wey dem bring on Day 1 before people even got the chance to dislike him, and another person has brought it again today. Nobody has even deleted the first accusation.


When Cross was falsely accused of spiking drinks, the person deleted the post and for the rest of his stay, nobody ever brought it up again, but Twitter people hate Sheggz.


He said with his own mouth that he knows people will want to come out and say he is abusive and such, and he was using this show to dispel those allegations.


Even you, you said he is toxic, na from morning you go know as night go be. Multiple people cannot be lying against one person.

By the time morning comes, dem for don dig out him entire history. That's why it's not good to come to this show and be doing too much.

you wrote a whole book for that outcast, you get time o

[quote author=KIDDRICAsHAWK post=115775026]

That's your business nau. Wetin concern me? [/quote]

KIDDRICAsHAWK:
Ori e buru ni?

safarigirl is right end of story

safarigirl:
How do you come to a show as big as Big Brother Naija and decide to do too much?


Especially when you don't have the most stellar record. See this fight with Adekunle now, all sorts of things have resurfaced about this Sheggz guy, including the domestic violence allegation

Sheggz is a crazy guy

MizzD:
Kiss, marry, ignore

Chomzy - kiss Hermes , ignore Groovy , marry Elo

Hermes - ignore Doyin, kiss chomzy , marry Ally

Allysyn - kiss Deji, Marry Hermes, ignore Pham savvy

Adekunle - kiss Allyson, marry nobody , ignore nobody

Sheggz - kiss Bella, marry Bella , ignore all the other girls

Chi chi - kiss and marry the same person she’s been mentioning cos she’s not confused (Deji)

Rachael - kiss Khalid, marry no one , ignore Phyna

Giddy - kiss Dianna , marry Dianna, ignore chizzy

Deji - kiss marry and ignore the ninjas

Dotun - kiss Ilebaye , marry Daniella , ignore chi Zy

Doyin - ignore Chizzy, marry Cyph , kiss bryan.. chi chi says so you will not kiss dotun . She says no

Elo - kiss Ilebaye , marry chomzy, ignore Phyna

God bless you

KIDDRICAsHAWK:
Don't mind Safarigirl. We all know how twitter works, people say a lot to discredit others and since it's someone that's isn't liked, people just run with the narrative. She suppose know better.

You this miserable outcast, safarigirl is right whatever she says is right

safarigirl:
How do you come to a show as big as Big Brother Naija and decide to do too much?


Especially when you don't have the most stellar record. See this fight with Adekunle now, all sorts of things have resurfaced about this Sheggz guy, including the domestic violence allegation

please explain am na

MissAnneboleyn:
They will leave them to it, abi they talk say people dey jealous dem?

make you and oshokai just marry already we don tire for una matter

safarigirl:
Lol, see wetin person 9 months dey write for Biggie window.

Chris Okagbue candle don off. The watch is over. Na God hand she dey

safarigirl please explain what happened to me I was watching from nairaland

I see a fight between Sheggz and Giddyfia this i have seen

Titaniumental:
Sheggz dey trend every single freaking f**king day.

Which Twitter version u dey use

see lies, Sheggz doesn't even trend twice a week

safarigirl:
Na Bella.

You no see her head for the image?

Safarigirl dey active today, the gbas gbos sweet am

scondy:
Oga ....I no be ur brother...call me adekunle....
U wanna see crazy side...I will show u...

very soon me and you go start our own here

Where is my brother Threebear

Una like gbas gbos

safarigirl:
Lol, Big Brother needs to send a psychologist into the house to check on Sheggz.

It's like his delusion is getting worse.

And as for that Bella...LOL, what a waste.

Wahala for who dey stan this duo.

I no like Sheggz but this girl dey take am to a next level nawao safari be calming down

MissAnneboleyn:
Shegs if you are intelligent, it will show you dont have to tell us. Bella, be careful what you wish for.

tell the fool

Pheenx:
Shegz is so childish and delusional. Like wtf

that one can't be 26 he's like 15

Pheenx:
Shegz is so childish and delusional. Like wtf

very delusional

Geezeem:
Poshvillers serving content... hot, fresh and spicy... we like it, it's NAICE!

back ur boy