₦airaland Forum

Pancakeey:
Wow, so sorry.
You’re going through a lot.

Try to do something to take your mind to you off it

Thank you.

SILENTandSMART2:
Lol may god help you guy,



Juss know dat there's nothing call 'love is holding me down with you, i can't do without you, I'm addicted to you ,"



If you're really a strong man all this things won't happen to you , she juss manipulated you and you a kind of emotions to make you look stupid and guilty always,


.you can never satisfy useless bitch,


May you recover soon and start working,


Don't let her decieve you, only a foolish man will believe dat there's no woman better than his current woman



Have a nice day man ✌️❤️✅

Thanks man.

Thank you everyone. Reading does a lot of good

Toxic people must be avoided at all cost

I feel a lot better and at peace with myself now. It will still take time for me to totally forgot her though, I don't even think it's possible. I now count everything as an experience, a very painful one. I thank God, and I thank everyone.

Maybe with this peace, I would finally be able to recover fully, who knows

iMustArise:
The power of writing and reading cannot be overemphasized. Thank God I love to read and write, if not I might not have recovered as quickly as possible.

This evening, I decided to Google what was on my mind as I usually do. I came across this two articles

https://medium.com/lady-vivra/letting-go-of-toxic-people-d3219cf92a35

https://www.heysigmund.com/toxic-people/

RavagedHeart , I don't know but this two articles might help you too a great deal.

Almost everything written in that article is 98% true for this girl and me despite its an oyinbo article. She was simply toxic and I now totally understand how she was able to slip inside my heart. It took time, but she did it.

Luckily for me, I have practiced almost everything written in those articles. Being aware of the knowledge of what has happened has really given me peace of mind.

The power of writing and reading cannot be overemphasized. Thank God I love to read and write, if not I might not have recovered as quickly as possible.

This evening, I decided to Google what was on my mind as I usually do. I came across this two articles

https://medium.com/lady-vivra/letting-go-of-toxic-people-d3219cf92a35

https://www.heysigmund.com/toxic-people/

RavagedHeart , I don't know but this two articles might help you too a great deal.

SILENTandSMART2:
Lol , OP I'm Kinda confused aswear,


Juss explain, shey your initial problem is headache ni?



But she came and you guys went to church and the headache disappeared , hope I'm right ?




Now looking through your post you don't sound like a person dat is working, or you juss don't talk about it ?


You sound like somebody dat stay alone all day, right?


I get all the girl's part but i would like you to explain your problem part,the one you mentioned in the early part of your post,



This is simple man, you're the problem of yaaself ,the girl have not contributed to yaa problem at all,



Before i say the rest of the answer in my mind, kindly answer my questions and please let it be short i hate reading epistles



If not dat you quote me again I won't use my time to read dat


Juss answer my questions firstly

Lol. within the short period this night, I have come to totally understand everything that has happened. To be short, she is very toxic but I didn't figure it out because she didn't show it at first.

When she knew me, I was not healthy at all. And although most of the health issues has gone but I'm not working because I'm still unfit to work but I'm doing what I can in my best power to sustain myself.

Toxic people's target are people that are very understanding and patient. Now, everything is Clare in my eyes after reading two articles just now.

Pancakeey:
Hi, I decided to take my time to read this post because a part of your story caught my eye and I could relate to it.

I didn’t get the headache and church problems but about this girl. I believe you ought to have more control over your life than this.

This is a toxic relationship and you know it. You don’t just want to accept it.
You’ve broken up with this girl more than thrice, it’s obvious something is wrong somewhere.

Give yourself time, it’s fine to stalk her but you need to have a lil bit of self control to stop thinking about her.
Love really does things to people but it’s not worth losing your life over.

I guess I wasn't seeing it as toxic before, not until recently when I took my time to please her and study what was happening. I normally have a tough mind so it didn't get to me for a long time, not until now. It's just that I'm now feeling all the effect of the toxicities after the break up. And I ended my last statement with Get out of my phone. I was mad, when I saw that she doesn't even wanna see how her irrational behaviour is affecting me and the relationship.

One cannot predict her behaviours. She may be happy this moment and be mute the next time. Nothing I say will ever change her mood to lighten up. I may keep talking for 30mins plus and nothing will change... Her annoying "there's nothing to say" replies makes me wanna run mad. Or her "motigbo and ok" to serious matters.

Sometimes, she'd reply me politely,
Me: hello, how are you doing?
Her: I'm fine, thank you.

She answers so politely like a stranger. I didn't even know why I was still sticking around. In the beginning, the love she was showing was extreme, my friends thought if I left her, she may commit suicide.

Now that I think about it, she's not a good person at all, she was just extremely in love at first. One shouldn't treat even an ex the way she did to me.

SILENTandSMART2:
When I'm not mad nah me go read this epistles


Another eleribuu OP spotted



Op quote me and summarize yaa story or forkkk off

Only if you knew my real account is a close friend of yours

Haryoife:
Hey bro... Listen to this and listen good okay!!
No matter how things may be
You deserve the best
I've been in a relationship too for 3 years and I and my gf have issues most times.. I go back begging her... Recently we had this issue and she expect me to call and start the usual begging which I never did... She called back... And was crying saying all sort of things... Mine was my best friend too... I tell her things before telling my mom... Lol... You just need to man up boss..... Shit happens you know that

Some months ago, I thought it wasn't affecting my mental health. But this month, I have been getting really weak by it and the only thing my brain could manage to tell me was to get out of the relationship. I'm feeling the mental effect even more now that I broke up, I'm not getting myself at all.
I've been learning programming but on getting stuck with an issue today, i just somehow found myself... I can't describe it but I'm starting not to be stable mentally every now and then. I just wish I can make everything unhappen.

Ninejaywon:
E be like say atomic bomb dey inside your head. Long piece of horseshits, still can't decipher what u are driving at.

You are having psychosis.

Who knows, I can't say because I'm feeling so much mixed emotions

iLegendd:
I just decided to read this from beginning to the end just to see how it went down.

Please, stop attaching "alpha" to yourself — be it by default or learned. You haven't gotten there.

You've probably committed a crime or a family curse is haunting you.

Just have it handled, the mental side, then work on the three things below.

1. How to handle women
2. How to make money
3. How to manage money

I know my comment is harsh, but that's just how I feel. I was upset as I was reading your post. Who does that? Too many breakups and no control.

What do you mean by committed a crime or family curse?

iamadonis2:
Guy, me sef with all my plenty relationship wahala can’t be forced to type so many paragraphs of text. Are you typing from your house or a mental asylum?

Damn, you’re clearly depressed by this but I can’t proffer any solution because I didn’t even read your problem to begin with.

I stopped at where your shorts were taken off.

I don't know if I'm depressed or not, I just need to say something so people won't fall

All in all, I don't want to contact my girlfriend anymore or as she has recently blocked me.

The story,
We started dating sometimes around this period in 2018. She was the one that chose me and I told her that time that I had no emotions because one can laterally describe as a robot. I was super alpha and I was journeying into being a demi god. I believed nothing is impossible for me and there was no place I couldn't enter.

This aurora was so much that one would notice it instantly. At this point, I was see visions and when I speak things, it happens. But in the usual religious way, I wouldn't be considered a Christian. To me, I considered myself God's son. When people ask me who my father was, I tell them God.

I don't pray in the usual Christian way, but I say little prayers in just words anytime I feel like. Afterwards, I started to believe I could become a god like Sango also because I noticed humans were powerful beyond what they perceived of themselves and in my high level then, I automatically understood every law of attraction and universe. I didn't know who put it there but I just became so high.

Later, I started having serious pains and headache with immense weakness all over my body, it got to a point that I was becoming so slow and inefficient because I couldn't do things anymore without getting tired of having a cracking headache that will put me down for hours.

I was becoming worried because I couldn't upgrade as I have always done to counter any problem I have. My problems were starting. There was this girl, she started taking a liking to me but in my weaknesses, I really needed a companion that would be assisting me. I liked her casually and I wooed and she agreed, I told her I never kissed a girl before and she was surprised.

I was only expecting a kiss that night but it became sex because she forced my shorts off, despite I struggled against it. I wasn't even hard all through. I was mad with rage the next day because I didn't want my first experience to be that way.

I told her I had no emotions in me and if she'd be able to cope, she answered yes. I was coping with her. Later she dragged me to church and I got into it, and to cut the story short, I prayed one day and the headache ceased but other things were still there, I was amazed at such. I don't know if I should call this the beginning of my downfall or not.

But you should take note that I really like to have sex but I always stayed away from women despite I craved it badly. But after that first day, I started doing it pretty much everyday but the thing is I didn't enjoy it. I was mad and wanted to enjoy it and get satisfied so I continued but I still wasn't enjoying it despite it being so frequent.

At some point, I attempted to break up and I saw how bad she felt and then I reconsidered. Later, it was becoming so obvious that she was not happy with the way I wasn't paying attention to her and at the same time, I was also getting worried that I needed to get back on my feet because my low health was affecting my finances badly.

I later I think I had little to none left. At this point, I was starting to try to pay her due attention but I still didn't understand the concept. Later, I started she started chatting with her ex. The guy always vulgar with her and I told her I didn't like the way the guy was always referring to her body and I told her to stop the conversation. I didn't really take all these things seriously at first.

It progressed to the point where some toaster started calling her too frequently, at this point I was getting bothered and my insecurities started to show in me. All this while, I have started noticing how I ought not to have treated her and I was still in my best knowledge trying to make up for it.

Due to the stated fact above, I decided to be gentle and let her have her way in her words to me. So she started talking to me anyhow but I wouldn't say anything because I was trying to be reasonable and understand things from the woman's perspective too, thinking I have faulted a lot too.

I noticed I started losing myself, at some point she started becoming cold and so I became gentle. I thought, that since she's been wanting a gentle me, she'd be satisfied.

Later she broke up around mid last year for the first time. And I messaged her if it was for real, but she replied that she can't cope with it and we got back together.

But then, towards the ending of last year, she broke up and I had to beg her and some days after, she broke up again. This time I left her alone, but one of my friend told me to at least send her a new year message. When I did, conversation started again and she manipulated things on my head. At this point I faulted myself seriously. Meanwhile, she was saying she needed space.

I was going to make up for it. I decided to free myself in love and we got back together but this time there was some kind of mockery in her dealings with me, I was so worried about her because I thought it was due to (some nasty experience she had as a kid,) that she having this mental surge. I coped and loved her despite her unloving or unstable loving towards me.

She did something terrible afterwards, and I stopped talking to her for a month, later she came back begging me but saying I should hold on because she wasn't getting herself, she didn't want me to go to other women.

We got back together again, and this time, something else happened and I was mad completely. She manipulated the matter and then said she was gonna break up again. But the thing is, I felt she good because not the way I knew her initially, the way she helped me when my health was so low. I also thought I was gonna marry only the woman I have sex with, for this reason I tried a long time to make things work.

From the first paragraph above, I had to call one of her family member in rage because I felt she was just toying with the relationship and i was not in charge. So, she later accepted and we got things back.

But honestly, I could have broken things with her a long time ago but I somehow stopped seeing other girls, they were not visible to me anymore. It's annoying. It was just that her pus*y that I wanted despite I remember it was only about 4 times I enjoyed it in the numerous times we had sex and those 4 times I had become a simp.

I had been terribly angry with myself after I called someone like her mother figure. I started purging out that simpness for her that was already deeply rooted in me. For a month, I was terribly sick.

One other things is that I got addicted to her company because before she came I had no friends and I was just alone and I used to be lonely. So the feeling of her initial love display didn't leave my head.

Anyways, I have been unable to completely key down her likeness, she's has become so irrational, arrogant and rude. And to make it worse, I've not totally recovered in terms of health.

I came across the red pill and i purged the simpness out even more. So I started gaining composure again and when I talked to her, I am often firm but the moment when I'm alone, I become sick.

Just recently, as I have been telling her I'm getting fed up of her irrational attitude, I started giving her distance and silent treatment for every stupid attitude she throws at me. Though, I like her so, I often don't prolong her punishment for more than 4 days at most.

In summary, she's like the only friend I have. But I wouldn't lie that even at this, I still get affected by her irrational attitude. I can't do much work and when her stupidity is added to it, I wouldn't be able to concentrate in my health state. I can barely really work in my current health status.

The point now is, she was trying to fault me and I shouted at her and hung up which resulted in her blocking me immediately. I don't have plans of calling back tho.

But I am seriously feeling it. Sometimes, I just fall sick for some hours. Like yesterday, while I was laying down with my pc, and I wanted to turn off the fan, I just fell into a cloudy sicky and sleepy state, I was so weak. I was unable to stand up for like 2 or 3 hours.

My sleep has improved a little, before when I sleep it's like I am being punished, I don't enjoy it at all. Yesterday, I was having a very bad headache.

What prompted me to write this post is that, I saw a comment here on Nairaland that stated that for choosing only that pus*y, you have simped.

I find that statement to be true. Because I can't think of any other girl now apart from this girl, despite I was frustrated in the past and I really would have liked to get a better fu*ck. Now, it's just her pussy I think of and it's the last thing I think that's holding me down mentally. I wanna break that shit.

Just before I started this post, I was so angry that I didn't know when I threw away my phone and I was automatically walking to bury my head in a bucket of water.

My head is cloudy, I still check her WhatsApp last seen with my other line. I guess that because she's like the only friend I have. Don't tell me to find friends, it won't work for me right now, that's the summary about my friendship life. But I want to be in love with my work so I need to purge this thing completely.

Although, it may be that she blocked me because she wants to only punish back or make me simp more. But me I'm seeing my own as a break up or even if she comes back herself, I'll be ready for her like the way it ought to be.

Gaslighting me... Lol. If I was aware of shit tests, I wouldn't have rubbished myself so badly. It is good to be aware of the knowledge of red pill even if you're red pilled by default. Without being aware, a default red pilled man can still fall like me. I was the definition of super alpha before, I'm ashamed I've become just a commoner. Damn!