Dirkcoyt:


And you too madam, I was really appalled to the previous advises sincerely,it hurt to my marrows.

Lol... . Me too.

Dirkcoyt:
You all are disgustful hypocrite with sham advises! Someone is contemplating sucidal option you all are talking about,discipline,african way, that he would later apreciate them later after committing sucide?

Lazy heads everywhere! Dude, don't go home for holiday breaks, go do car washing to feed yourself, don't remember them, don't even think of going home, your parent are too stupid to cope with, don't let them blackmail your emotions cause of school fee! Dude you still in school the realty is you will still have another 2-3yrs before total financial freedom, and no way you can cope with them for this long.

I recall then,when my mum nags,I tell it to her she nags,and I slam the door and leave the house. When I return she respect me, I don't take shii from anyone,especially the one that can ruin me, the african way is good but don't over push it cause we all have a threshold to this bullies!

God bless you for this.

Apreel:
I understand what the op is going through. .This kind of situation can make you hate God..deeper life and chosen is one church that will destroy a family..I have my reasons. .I've gone through this same bs and believe me it's not a funny something

Lmao but so true.

smada13:
@Op, I think I need to meet you one on one...... agreed your mum is harsh but the sad truth is she wants the best for you and don't know how else to go about it but being direct....

I'm a deeper lifer too...and my mum has been a choir up till now and added to that, she is a woman coordinator....she was kinda direct in bringing us up (4 of us)....and guess wat, I came out d better for it...

See these people telling you to rebel don't know what they are saying cuz d Bible said, a child left to himself will be a disgrace to his father...its a fact your cannot allow youbdo things your own way, but you know adults now, they'll want their decision to be your actions...

[/b]and another thing is, if you are a real deeper lifer, you'll understand that we the children of leaders don't have a life of our own because the progress of our parents in the church is tied to how well we the kids are living the "proper" life we are meant to live.[b]..and as you know, it will be a disgrace if your parents are suspended from being a worker just because of your own "wayward" attitude...I can understand them but its not the perfect way for them to curb your excesses.......

What is this one saying?

So you were born to live for your parents? I won't be surprised if you grow up and raise kids in a completely selfish manner , giving birth to kids into a full time/lifetime job of protecting your reputation at the expense of their own life and happiness.

What a depressed and unhappy lineage that will be.SMH.

You probably don't have an issue with the way your deeper life parents raise you, but this Op does.

latitidejavu:


Thanks for your civil question.

I already have a child. An infant son. I will not teach him religion. I will teach him values. I am a christian and I understand christian values to be things like love, honesty, others before self, integrity, cleanliness, fear of God and others. I will teach him to read the bible everyday. i will guide him to these but I WILL NOT SHIELD him from making mistakes. I will place good before him and tell him there is evil too. i will tell him the dangers and consequences of evil. I will not sequester him nor seek to pigeon hole him.

I will not teach him the doctrine of my church ( I am an evangelical anglican) but I will teach him the words of Jesus and leave the choice to him.

Now should he decide to do otherwise, i am already writing a little book I will give him once he turns 12 so whenever he comes to his senses he will read the book. i made my mistakes, I am a much better man because of my mistakes. I would have been far behind where I am now if I did not make those mistakes. I am not a saint, I never wanted to be a saint either.

And to add, a little investment in child psychology books will help us especially young parents know that what we see as rebellion maybe the traits of someone who can stand up against unjust laws in the society, someone who can be guided to be a strong leader to his peers. The problem is that religious people read ONLY the bible hence their errors.

This is how I will strike the balance because from my own experience it is futility to impose your doctrine. Thanks.

100 likes for this.
Most sensible thing I'v read so far on this thread. The thing is, most of the people commenting here have no idea what it feels like to be in the OPs shoes.

Op, you didn't say whether or not you school in the same town where your parents live. If you don't, then these steps might be helpful. That's how I went about it when I was in school.

Pick a good day, call your mum, tell her how much you appreciate how sge raised you, and that you are a better person as a result, then go ahead to explain how you feel to her, dont raise your voice, be calm and respectful, and emphasize the fact that you'd very much like to attend another church. Of course she'll not support you.
This step no just formality.



Choose a church you are comfortable with in school and start attending. Of course they'll hear and call with all manner of threats, pick the call, hear them out, even if they talk for 2days, stay on the phone. Don't say anything other than "I'm hearing you",and yes ma/sir ( why I said you shouldn't say anything is because such parents have their principles set in stone. Whatever you have to say doesn't change anything or how you feel will never change their perspective. So no point talking too much). After the call, keep going to your chosen church. And try to be happy. Mind you, no need saying sorry. Cos you will do it again.


Don't be wasteful o. You know your parents now! Manage the hell out of whatever they give you. Cos they will want to punish you for the above step by freezing your finances. It'll help if you have friends to leech on for a while. If not, be ready to go hungry for a long time and be doing " I waka well" to your classmates house. Truth is you'll have to endure a whole lot of other issues. That's life. Our problems don't just disappear. They're often replaced.

Despite all this, don't joke with your studies. Cos excelling in school or whatever your doing is the only way to ensure that this freedom you're fighting to get remains.


Harness the good side of your parents strictness. Plan, plan plan ahead. One thing I benefitted from being raised by such parents is that I always always have a plan to escape being chained down and dictated to. I don't argue with them too much. What are you studying in school? When you're not having lectures, go and volunteer in the kind of industry you'd like to work when you graduate. Learn a skill. Start planning to be free from them not only when you're schooling but even after. Cos if you don't have a plan, and you graduate and are jobless, you'd have no choice than to go back and stay with them as a graduate which is a worse feeling than what you're feeling now. They will use you do yeye. Don't look compare yourself to other students o. Dont be Feeling big boy up and down. Your life dynamics are very different from theirs. Face your life, your future.Learn anything. You can learn aluminum work. Windows, show glass and all that. Its the kind of work you can do as a graduate and still feel proud. It doesn't dirty you like mechanic work. Plus you'll have change in your pocket to pay your bill and even choose not to go back home after graduating.

However, when you're at home, play completely by their rules. As a student, you're at home for less than 2 months in ayear if you plan well. You have endured all this for years. What is two months compared to what you've been through. So you have 10 months to yourself to do the things that make you happy, discover yourself and walk out of your parents shadows. (I am not bothered/scared that doing thus will make you go completely wayward. There's too much of your upbringing in you already).

I don't argue with such parents, I simply do what I feel is right, and when I make mistakes, I take full responsibility for it and can live with my mistakes.

You'll also make mistakes, but you'll learn from them and find your true self.

All the best.



This advice don too long sef

Please I need help.

Since the last update of my infinix, the settings for sim cards keeps changing on it own. My sim 2, MTN is for calls, but it automatically keeps shuttling between MTN and Airtel even when I try I change it. To make a call, I have to try 2-3 times before the Sim card I want to use appears. Its frustrating especially in emergencies.

IMO, Its not advisable.

.

what was that : Demons for sex

**Lmao....... Lord have mercy!!!!!

I have died of laughter.

What a mumu girl!!!!