otiigba1:
LOL okay o! Show him not touch him? Its not you i don't trust, its him.*jokes* hian! Russia kwa? Kedu ife i na eme na Russia? Abi you go see MR putin?

BuddhaPalm:




My brother, the first thing you are doing wrong is that you are essentially rewarding bad behaviour.

Psychology 101: what gets rewarded gets done.

If you keep coming to work late, does your boss try bribing you with beer to become a better employee? I think not.

Secondly, sex with your wife is not something to be negotiated. Some wise guy rightly said: "Negotiated desire leads to obligated compliance". I believe you don't want the fireworks version and not a chore. This is the problem with counseling and complaining and whatnot.


Furthermore, your situation is not in the least unique. What is currently happening to you is just a universal story of women using their husbands for financial security and babies. And then keeping their legs shut.

Well, because her mission is accomplished.


You haven't seen a pattern, because you haven't looked. Similar stories are all over the internet, men from different cultures and continents, but the same story.


Women are lovely to look at, but beneath their lovely exterior lies an evolutionary serpent. Cunning, machiavellian and absolutely ruthless.


Last week, I watched the South African lion-whisperer guy on NatGeo, and the narrator said something very striking...he said experts criticized the Kevin Richardson guy because the tendency was for people to think lions were nice cuddly pets...instead of vicious predators.

Women too are not nice cuddly pets.


The thing with most of us men is that we barely know what we are dealing with. On the surface, they may not know what they are doing, but their software is fully aware, forever seeking its goals and totally unforgiving.

The only language it speaks is power. And it has zero sympathy for weaknesses.


You see its hidden hand whenever a young girl, somewhere, follows a 'bad-boy', instead of the nice nerd. You see it whenever a woman upgrades to a more dominant, more successful male. You see its hand each time a wife or girlfriend wields sex as a bludgeon. You see it whenever a woman masks a child's paternity and passes it off as yours.

You see it whenever an old flame is ignited just because you found a new mate. You see it each time women are into you - just because other women are into you.

You see it whenever a woman starts hoarding her vagina because she has accomplished her mission. In the US, for example, this is the point at which she divorces you, takes your house and babies and leaves you all fvcked up.


Short, bald, fat ugly men are getting laid by their wives. You don't need to be a model to fvck your own wife man.

Marriage is supposed to be the highest union and bond she could ever form with any human being on this planet. And fvcking you is one of the least things she could possibly do for you...and she is not doing it.

And if she's not fvcking you, she is derelict in her duty to God and to the marriage institution.

You owe it to yourself to seek your pleasures and comfort in whatever other arms that give it.

Be the man you are meant to be. Speak less in bribery, but in consequences.

naijaboiy:
God help me not to marry such type of a woman.

I hate emotional stress.

TrishaP:

It's only normal especially after having kids. The only solution is communication and understanding.

naijaboiy:

Hmmm...but I think the Op has already done that. but yet no change.

Tomfrench:
nice point

histemple:
Find out what catches her fancy and try that. It's possible she really loves you but she might be shy. It sounds strange but some ladies are too shy not to initiate plays or play dirty with their husband.

harveyspec:


1. Has she always been like this? at the inception of the union or during courtship

2.if the answer to No1 is NO, start doing those things that used to thrill her & make her feel loved, this will only work on the grounds that there are no issues between you two

2a. If she is angry at you cos of what you did or did not do, then all ur entreaties will be irritating to her, so find out

2b. Find out is she is having any medical issues eg depression, is she in some kind of trouble, maybe money issues, is all well with her family etc

3.if the answer to No 1, is YES. Why then are you complaining?


4. I will recommend 5 love languages by Dr Gary chapman, go read it

It talks about how we give & show love, if you keep showing love to your wife the way u want & not how she wants, then ur efforts will be futile

eg some ladies feel loved when u spend quality with them, show them attention. If you substitute this action with gifts, you will find out no matter the gifts you buy, if you don't spend time with them it will mean nothing to them

You hear such women say" I want to spend time with my husband" while another says " my husband can travel all he wants, he should leave enough money for me & the kids"

there is nothing wrong with them, it's just their love language, so if u spend quality time with the one that loves money/gifts without the gift, all that time will amount to nothing

The love languages are

1.words of affirmation
2.gifts
3.acts of service
4.quality time
5.physical touch

Can you identify yours?
Can you identify that of your spouse?

TrishaP:

I think there is more to his complains than meet the eyes.

charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

gsalvatore:
Some women are plain cold/frigid.

You didn't see this when you were dating her?

Now you want to make it it look as if she changed all of a sudden.

I shake my fvcking head

harveyspec:


1. Has she always been like this? at the inception of the union or during courtship

2.if the answer to No1 is NO, start doing those things that used to thrill her & make her feel loved, this will only work on the grounds that there are no issues between you two

2a. If she is angry at you cos of what you did or did not do, then all ur entreaties will be irritating to her, so find out

2b. Find out is she is having any medical issues eg depression, is she in some kind of trouble, maybe money issues, is all well with her family etc

3.if the answer to No 1, is YES. Why then are you complaining?


4. I will recommend 5 love languages by Dr Gary chapman, go read it

It talks about how we give & show love, if you keep showing love to your wife the way u want & not how she wants, then ur efforts will be futile

eg some ladies feel loved when u spend quality with them, show them attention. If you substitute this action with gifts, you will find out no matter the gifts you buy, if you don't spend time with them it will mean nothing to them

You hear such women say" I want to spend time with my husband" while another says " my husband can travel all he wants, he should leave enough money for me & the kids"

there is nothing wrong with them, it's just their love language, so if u spend quality time with the one that loves money/gifts without the gift, all that time will amount to nothing

The love languages are

1.words of affirmation
2.gifts
3.acts of service
4.quality time
5.physical touch

Can you identify yours?
Can you identify that of your spouse?

Ayocharles:
I don't understand why your complain is coming after two kids! its very very too late... To me the fault is coming from you!
1). Two kids at 36! you need family planning already
2). You need to channel all that love of yours on those two kids, it seems to me you don't show care for the kids and that makes her worry not to want to have another baby.
3). you need to find a spark in your marriage. Take her out, hold hands and stroll together, kiss her in public and don't always expect sex all the time.
4). talk and gist about what she likes most, listen to her and make jokes on every comments until she laugh out loud
5). And lastly, after two kids her vagina must have expanded double, do something about your penis too my brother. It's possible she doesn't feel ur kitten again. use drugs or enlarge your penis too
trust me, it might be the problem.....

charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

skyfullofstars:


Same for men, not just for women... It's simply a personality trait. Sometimes you still love the person, however you feel empty, as if there was something missing, that doesn't take the love away but it makes you unhappy anyway, not to receive the desired attention... I knowfrom my very own experience

skyfullofstars:


Same for men, not just for women... It's simply a personality trait. Sometimes you still love the person, however you feel empty, as if there was something missing, that doesn't take the love away but it makes you unhappy anyway, not to receive the desired attention... I knowfrom my very own experience

charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

histemple:
Find out what catches her fancy and try that. It's possible she really loves you but she might be shy. It sounds strange but some ladies are too shy not to initiate plays or play dirty with their husband.

datalossvictim1:


Lol a na ma zu afia na Russia

harrysterol:
my run away love

harrysterol:
;Dnot fine still picking up the pieces of the hrtbreak

harrysterol:
u na