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What's my/her final decision. It was hell, then there was some peace then there was some other hell and then now, she's badly seen by the entire adoptive family. But still we continue being to gether and we've gotten to learn more about the dude who wanted to fool her off. Not being jealous, she's far off better without that guy. Nonentheless, we're together and things are panning out well for us. ;-)

Thanks to everyone, you replies and suggestions helped alot in my decision making. Once more thanks to you all and Nairaland.
Could have made big mistakes if not of you.

Thanks for all your timely advices and tips, really enlightening me on the course to take now.

@dingbang: took onto myself to do exactly that since things started getting serious about the marriage issue. Nonentheles, thanks for reminding me, so I am more focused on that.

@Treasuredlove and lenghtinny: thanks for bringing me back to the realm of reality, trying to be as pragmatic as possible about it and be facts based about it than emotionally based when making decisions.

Greetings to the whole NL community,
Plz, bear with me and take the patience to read, it's a super long and complex story to understand on first sight.

I've got a dire heart problem aching and tormenting me for weeks now.

Let me give you a little bit of background to give you some context.
I'm a software engineering student in the bachelors cycle in a Cameroonian university's professional.
I'm the best professionally speaking software engineering student presently on campus( not meaning to brag, but my deeds speak for themselves as compared to what other students can presently do). I believe in life-long self education and entrepreneurship.
My so beloved girlfriend, my Most treasured good on earth, my all, my my heart and my chest( hope you got the joke) is in my class and is a year younger than I. I 'pet call' her Tishou.

Here's some info about the school we both school in.
It's called IUT-Fotso Victor Bandjoun, all the training here stops at the Bachelors Cycle which means that, this is our last year of schooling in this school and after that, we might be searching for jobs or rather will be going to a different school should we want to further our education.

Here's some information about Tishou's family, adoptive home and living conditions.
As you might have guessed just now, she kinds of live in an adoptive familly. Her father is a very old man( 82 years old) with 5 wives and she happens to be the last daughter, second to the last child of her mother( fourth wive to her father) and fourth to the last child of her father who has about 18 children in total ( she doesn't really know the total number of brothers and sisters she does have). The present financial situation of her biological parents isn't easy and couldn't afford for her university as a consequence, a more financially stable couple in the broader family kinda took adoption of her and she has been living with them( her foster familly may I call them) since high school. She's amongst the best in class( same as I). Really, we're both the fifth and first in class her and I respectively.

Here's some information about Me.
I nickname myself iPR0D1G1, My parents are fairly young. My dad is barely 50 and my mother about 47 years of age. Their financial situation is average and we don't financially bleed. I'm the first son aged 22 years ( consequently, Tishou is 21 years) and I'm super introvert though I like social meetings , partying and gatherings, but I always keep to myself and don't say how I feel and what I think of in public. That's is, it speak very little. Aspiring entrepreneur. Deep respect for morals and chore values my parents instilled in me during our growing up. Presently, if I might use the word huzzle, I am a real huzzler without any financial problem presently. I'll even go further to say, with my present huzzle and what my parent's give me, our relationship is good going. No financial problems. But what can two young IUT-Fotso Victor university students need? Unlimited internet connection of good bandwidth, some money to look after myself, some money to do romantic stuff every now and then, some money for rampant school expenses both Tishou and I( Gladly handle this).

What are my aspirations?
Envy the life and lifestyle of successful entrepreneurs, wanna be one of the first successful freshly mint bachelor's entrepreneur from my school and most importantly, what have i done in this light? Learned extensively since the first day I took the decision to go the entrepreneur's route. I have a very bright idea which can be grown to a big multi million enterprise. Won't give the details here as this is not the place for such, but to be succinct about things, I have battle tested the idea and it's a scalable and profitable idea which I'm in the process of implementing it but it's going slowly due to the heavy pressure we are receiving here in school on school activities and I am barely sleeping three hours since the start of this academic semester that is approximately mid October. My parents and the few investors( rich family members) we've seen have gotten to validate the business model of the project and are willing to finance the project once I finish developing the platform( application platform). It will be software solution implementing a direct to customer business model. What I'm trying to say, is that the project I am all devoted to is no bullshit and is validated by real and successful people. We( my dad and I) were planning to meet with the manager of NFC Bank in Cameroon to propose him in financing the project in exchange of shares when the company is established.

Here's some information about my relationship with Tishou.
It's been about 7 months since we've been in the relationship, and man, !!!!IT'S BEEN MIND BLOWING ROMANCE( not sex) !!! I'm really in love of her and her same, she and I don't miss any opportunity to let the other know how much we like and love him/her, and like his/her company. Haven't gotten into any quarrels so far. Just the simple fact of typing this words here is making me miss her even more. ( haven't talked to her since morning, might probably do that tomorrow). In short, we both are in real love and I know she does love me real authentic and I do same for her. Our relationship is well known in our social circles both her's and I and I've gotten to meet some of her brothers and sister, her same to a childhood brother of mine. I consider him a brother of mine, because we grew together though he's not the son to my parents, but they were the ones who brought him up. Unfortunately, she can't get to meet my junior brothers cuz they my family lives quiet far, extremely far from Bandjoun (where we live her, her adoptive family and I). She's the first real girlfriend I've had though there were some before her but not Real girlfriends i am gladly proud of and happy to say to anyone. Likewise, I'm the first real boyfriend she's ever had.

What are my aspirations after the bachelors in school?
I don't even plan to finish my bachelors cycle this year, not with the problem we have and what I can do for it. nonetheless, after my bachelors this year, i will if unless by a twist of fate, for things to go otherwise, i will have finished developing the platform for the project i have and will surely be at the level of creating the enterprise at the end of my bachelors cycle to say. All this to say, I will have started the process of running the business until I'll be at the level of market insertion and customer acquisition.
As per tishou, she will like to further her education, getting a masters in Computer sciences at the University of Dschang or go for training as a high school teacher at ENS Bambilli ( ecole normal superieur Bambili).

What then is that dire point that's a problem to our seemingly well going relationship?
Tishou's after bachelors is very unclear as the adoptive family that she has been growing up with are not planning to sponsor her after her bachelors at all.

Now, here comes the big story.

When she was still in high school, there was this hermann who used to teach her adoptive junior brothers at home after school hours. He did civil Engineering in my present school by then and later went to ENS Bambili to train as a teacher. He finished his training just of recent and will be appointed latest mid next year to a school to start working. He is thirty years old. I've never met with him. He feels the urge to get married and he came and met Tishou's adoptive parents and asked Tishou's hand in marriage lo and behold, without Tishou knowing he was going to so do and when Tishou came back from school, that was about a month ago, her adoptive parents said they wanted to talk with her and told her hermann wants to marry her and she vehemently refused and told them for the first time that she has a boyfriend in a relationship she is very happy in and just doesn't see herself with hermann( not to say she wants to marry me, but that might be a reality in the far future). The next day, she told me about it and we said let's just wait and see how the event pans out. three weeks went through without anyone in her family saying anything about the marriage and we though hermann took to her refusal and went searching somewhere else for a wife. Just of recent about three days ago, she came and asked me in school how will I feel if after the bachelors cycle, she gets married and after answering her, the teacher came in class so I couldn't probe my curiosity. Later on at the end of the day, we got together and she explained to me what had happened the night before. Hermann had came short-circuiting her once more and met with her adoptive mother and was planning how he would bring his parents to meet them to arrange for a formal introduction of both families and presentation of their intention to marry. This time, while we were in school, hermann called her that he want's to speak to her, and she didn't pick the call, when she later got home early nightfall, she met with hermann who was waiting for her and he told her he was discussing with her mother on how he would bring his family to meet hers for formal presentation and she vehemently and categorically refused in front of hermann and her parents she isn't going to marry him and that she has a relationship in which she is very happy and proud to tell them of. They quarreled for a while till finally hermann had to leave the house. Later about half midnight pass, Tishou's adoptive parents called her in the parlor to discuss with her and she came and here are the main points of
her adoptive parents( not just her adoptive parents but the whole general adoptive general adoptive familly, that is adoptive aunties nieces included) viewpoints as per the marriage issue:

1. After the bachelors, she will have no financial backing from them again and really, she's completely disconnected from her biological family, her biological mother is a hand to mouth famer, her father is an irresponsible one, and her only working brothers always complain of never having money since she was in highschool, so you can imagine. As for her other half brothers and sisters, I dunno that much about them, but she told me she just can't count on them. Square simply, she just can't. That is, her financial backing is down.

2. After the bachelors, where will she go to? She's got nowhere to go to without thier aid.

I'm very sure Hermann knows of this her situation and that's why he permits himself to be doing things without any need to know nor bother himself about how she feels about it( marrying him). He really just goes on despite all her refusals.

presently, I am unable to do anything as it won't be my place to do anything about it in terms of participating in the discussions between her, her general adoptive family and hermann's family and hermann in person even.
Second, I fear due to some twist of fate that I couldn't foresee, we happen to seperate ourselves after she's refused marrying hermann and she finds herself hanging in the air while having loosed everything and all of that because of me.

She's made it known very clearly to me that Hermann is very serious about marrying her and that she just isn't into marrying Hermann flat and simple. No other way to clearly say this.

This situation has been really aching us these last days and me even more.

What have I resolved to about the situation?
I really love her too much to see her getting married to another man in generally and even worst, a man who is 9 years older than her and worst over, against her will.
I just took an execution plan for myself before i decided to talk to the Romance Community on NL.
I have never been this motivated to finishing this project of mine than ever before. All this to say, I have decided to see how I will do all the possible and impossible to finish developing the applications ( mobile applications both android , iOS and microsoft mobile) and having all and everything thing started if at least not running before I finish the bachelors cycle so that by then, i can present myself to her adoptive family ( who has more to say on her life than her biological parents) with the potential and ability to answer to the two above questions. But that is only if Hermann doesn't marry her before the end of bachelors cycle. The main issue here is that the adoptive family is just trying in a very pervasive manner to get rid of her like she's a burden to the family( I really feel very bad and bitter and sour inside about this as I am typing these words) by handing her over to the first baboon that comes to marry her. Moreover, with Hermann's acts, they ought to be aware by now that, if Hermann is persistent about marrying her despite her not wishing to marry him, it's not during the marriage that Hermann will care about how she feels or need to take note of her on remarks on general house decisions that need to be taken.

To conclude, finally we reach the conclusion after about 40 minutes of concentrated lecture...
( small joke just to break off the sad feeling building up.)
To conclude, I will like to have your point of view of the situation and what I can do to better help her in this situation and help myself by not loosing her and not endangering her life to a long unfulfilled life mixed with misery. Preferably, I let her marry Hermann than seeing her have a life full of misery. Will with the most joy welcome advices and inspiring thoughts on the plan of action I can take in this situation. I will like to get real mature thoughts about it especially from 35 years and above. But feel free to advice me if you feel your advice is mature ( or you are mature) as per my present situation.
BEHOLD: Those of you nairaland members who like to come and make a satire of people's situation and give useless and unnecessary comments, may your most high in belief serve you with $10,000 worth of torments.

All in all, just noticed it took me flat four hours to write this, wow, didn't know it required this much concentration to write. Just trying to break out of my present mood by saying this.

Thanks and I'm all ears to your advices and suggestions. Really need them plz.