₦airaland Forum

SporaD8:
I sincerely don't know which is more troubling: The seriousness of your case, or the slow compression brazenly display by the two individuals on this thread! (learn to ignore such derailers next time!)
The term Abortion is no longer applicable to a 7month pregnancy - it's cold-murder!!!

I don't just understand those guys, what will I gain by coming to say things that didn't happen on Nairaland. Will Seun pay me. We are both on Nairaland but silent readers.

The story is not finished yet...I skipped some part before especially as it concerns her mum. Notice that I spoke about meeting with the mum and didn't talk about the mum again.

To continue...my girl stays with her aunty in the same town with me but the mum stays in another state (won't want to mention address/locations). Her mum actually welcome me well, cooked for me and all that. She was such a a nice lady. She accepted me joyfully. Accepted my drinks and all that. I made my intention know to the mum, she asked her daughter if she will want to marry to. She said yes. Her mom told me I have her blessings but she's a lady and have little say in the matter.

Her mom promised to send my message to the other family members ( her uncles). I gave her some money at least to cover transportation and promised to visit anytime I am called upon by the uncles.

Another meetings was held by the family members, (they didn't want me to be present in that meeting) to discuss about the proposal. I ensured to send money for drinks.

After the meetings with the uncles, I asked my girl about the outcome, she totally lied that nothing was discussed because majority of the uncles were not in attendance. I later got to find out that it was at that meeting last yr that they concluded they didn't want anything to do with Edo. But the mum was not in support of them.

To cut the long story short.... Around July of last year the mum got sick, strange sickness that doctors could not diagnose. I was spending money as inlaw to be, but unfortunately we lost her in August. During these period of her mum's sickness, she was already pregnant. Her mom was happy to hear of it and even called me about it. The death of her mum was shocking and painful, she was such a a vibrant and lovely woman. So the marriage plans was put on pending to prepare for burial. Off course, I also spend for burial. But she refused me from attending the burial stating that they wanted to do a small burial for her that will only involve immediate family members.

After the burial, I resume again with pressure for the marriage to be done before she put to birth. Her sister now informed me that their custom don't permit pregnant woman to be wedded till after the pregnancy. I believed these people not knowing they had an hidden agenda.


...

Yashita:
I shake my head for you. Your reasoning is very poor starting from your first statement and it shows you lack reading comprehension.

You are the DISGRACE TO HUMANITY here, you big f👀l

I just don't understand some people here, I thought we are suppose to be mature people with some degree of education in nairaland. How will you reject drink from your supposed inlaw to be. Everyone is just tough online.

She and her junior sister told me it was hosting, that her aunty hosted some people.


Furthermore, when I got there, the guy that came for the introduction and his family were already gone (I later learnt they came from another state). It was guests that were still around that gave me the huge revelation.

[quote author=papyjaypaul post=129143948][/quote]You know what I meant. We engineers are hardly story tellers. It's true that only a woman knows who got her pregnant. But if your babe of 5yrs as at last yr, walked up to you to inform you that she took in for you. Will you start doubting if it's yours? Someone that you've gone to meet with her family, she have met yours.

The excuse they are giving is that Edo men_that are not even from my side of Edo_has hurt two of their daughters in the past. So they no longer want to give out their daughter to Edo people. This girl and her family totally kept everything a secret from me. It now look as though they are using her to avenge what was done to their daughters before. And she totally played the script. All I had was good intentions and love for her and her family.

worksmart:
You implied she was 7 moths pregnant or did you mean to say 7weeks?

If 7 months how can she use the excuse that she mistakenly thought she was pregnant but she wasn't especially since you claimed that you had sex with her just days before the Introduction?

Also if you regularly spoke to her aunt, why do you think the aunt did not inform you that the family did not approve of the marriage?

she was 7months pregnant. I don't know why the aunty kept everything a secret from me. I regularly buy wine to visit her, we will gist, laugh and all. Give the kids money and all. She thanked me for the food stuff I sent the family for Christmas. Even me and her younger sister used to talk. Infact, a week to the day of the introduction, I send money to the younger sister cause she complained of having issues with her bank. Everything was just looking ok. They all played the script well.

tommy589:
How you were able to move on within the space of Feb. to March is what amazes me

I have had my own fair share of broken heart,the last was my first marriage that ended in the tenth year Keeping face is what I do so well but it takes me more time to heal

I guess everyone has their own way of dealing with things. I made several efforts within the period to make her change her mind. She clearly stated that the deal has been done. At first I was completely pissed up but later, the love I have for her softened my heart so I started trying to reach her. She agreed to meet and even went with me to do an ultrasound to really confirmed if the baby was still intact. Lab guy confirmed it was no more.

What am I suppose to continue fighting for? My family told me they are willing to pay everything I spent on her and totally give her space, But the money is really not my problem. She's gone, the baby is gone.

tommy589:
You make moving on look so easy

After crying my eyes dried, exhausted every means to get her back... Almost entered depression if not for strong support system (family and friends). What else should I have done? She told me she has moved on, the guy that did introduction was her ex that has been disturbing her for marriage_ from same tribe. She's not showing any remorse whatsoever. I even went as far as meeting with her pastor and told him everything....I can't kill myself, my life is not in my hand.

tommy589:
I can not imagine how you feel

Have moved on...life is too short to be living in the past. Just wanted others to learn one thing or another. This babe cook for me few days to this introduction. We were chatting normally. We even had sex like everything was good. If I had not visited I wouldn't have suspected anything.

Klass99:
Quit explaining yourself to people who want to be deliberately dunce. Your original post is simple and easy enough to understand.

Thank God there are still intelligent minds here. I kept going back to the post to see if there was a mistake with the writeup.

Kobojunkie:
WOW! So, after what you have said so far, how sure are you the pregnancy is yours? and what do you intend to do at this point? Force her to conduct a DNA test so you can have and share custody with her even with her supposedly married to someone else?

What is your problem self...is comprehension that difficult for you. I said it was aborted and you are speaking of DNA

Kobojunkie:
Was your relationship with her some sort of long-distance relationship or what?

So, her parents rejected you two years ago, but you never heard about it because you relied on the gal to relate the final decision from her parents to you but she lied? And she equally lied about being 7 months pregnant, a pregnancy you had been funding but didn't see for an entire 7-month period?

If she lied to you for over 2 years, and even about the pregnancy, then you really should try to move on from this as soon as you can.

As for the pregnancy, it was real. We visited my mum when she was 5 months gone and my mum confirmed it. I registered her for antenatal and her that. It was obviously aborted

Kobojunkie:
Was your relationship with her some sort of long-distance relationship or what?

So, her parents rejected you two years ago, but you never heard about it because you relied on the gal to relate the final decision from her parents to you but she lied? And she equally lied about being 7 months pregnant, a pregnancy you had been funding but didn't see for an entire 7-month period?

If she lied to you for over 2 years, and even about the pregnancy, then you really should try to move on from this as soon as you can.

It was not a long distance relationship, I was always visiting her aunty she stayed with. I do call her sister we do gist. I even bought food stuff for the family this past December for Christmas. We were together in my house fews days to this introduction. We even chatted the morning of that introduction and we arranged to meet that very day 11th of February which was a Sunday.

It was just a strong urge within me, like am intuition that pushed me to go visit the family that very day. There was no single reason to have suspected such a thing was going on.

Zonefree:
You were not invited prior to the event is enough reason for you to leave immediately.

But, as a hungry man, they offered you seat, food and drink, you accepted not knowing it's your beloved pregnant babe's introduction.

You're a disgrace to humanity. It's more noble to have a bandit as a son than to have you as a son. Tueh!

I don't have time to be dragging words with you. I probably could pay your full year salary and not wink.

Jman06:
Good that you have stated that it's a "story" and that you ''constructed" it. Super story for that matter!

Oga, believe whatever you want to believe.

Let me continue the story; many persons seems to be getting the narrative wrong. Although I'm not a story teller, so try to read slowly, comprehend before replying.


To continue...I was now speaking with the uncle she stays with (He was the first person I went to visit with drink and declared my intention to marry her last two yrs) I asked what was going on, I need clarification as I don't understand. He replied that he was shocked to have seen me that he thought me and her were no longer together. Saying that he told her to tell me that family did not accept me because of my ethnicity (I'm Edo). This girl didn't tell me anything, totally kept me in the dark and none of her family members told me anything like that. I became furious and the Uncle reacted aggressively, telling me to leave his house.

The next day 12th February, I matched back to the house with my soldier friend to ask her about the welfare of the unborn child,this girl replied that she thought she was pregnant but she's not. Omoh, how can someone be thinking she's pregnant for 7months? I spent money to Register her for antenatal, do send money for provisions,buy fruits and all that. It was obvious she had aborted the pregnancy.

I wanted to take it up with her but family advise I let go of everything and move on. People can be wicked sha. Her reason for all these was that family did not want their daughter to marry from Edo

Zonefree:
You were not invited prior to the hosting, yet you sat down to eat and drink?

You must be SIMPly amazing, the reason they dribbled you.

Everyone is tough online. Your supposed inlaw will offer you drink and you will reject it. C'on man. I'm not hungry o.

Kobojunkie:
I guess you were not clear that they were the ones dragging their feet. The way I see it, if a man and woman are truly in love, and both ready to become one, nothing stops them from registering their marriage in the courts and moving forward. You said the parents were dragging their feet but that didn't stop you from impregnating the gal without first seeking their consent, so?

I did seek their consent. Carried drink to the family and visited the mother also. Nobody told me they are not in support of our union. They were just giving one silly excuses or the other. Delaying the whole process without a definite Yes or No. Try to understand.

Zonefree:

Your chop and drink for your babe introduction?

I lack words to describe you.

maybe I did not construct the story well. Imagine paying a random visit to your fiance's family house and met a party. You inquired what was going on and was told they are doing hosting. They offered you food and drink. Will you reject.

She told me it was hosting, her aunty hosted some people. Pls read and comprehend

Kobojunkie:
I did but the gal and her parents probably got tired of waiting while you dragged your feet on making a final decision and decided it best to move on. You got her pregnant before marrying her. Did you think that meant she could not move on or what?

If I had a daughter or son, I would not advise her or him to wait around on anyone when it comes to realizing a personal dream or desire.

Are you sure you read the writeup? It was written with English language. I already visited the family since 2022 to make my intention know to them long before the pregnancy came into play. They were the one dragging their feet. Pls read again. Slowly and comprehend.

phorget:
So you work in power sector? Hope say no be people swear catch you so?🤷‍♂️

Lol..You prefer make I jobless

Kobojunkie:
Congratulate her on her love and marriage and move on abeg!

That's the spirit, but did you read the part where I said she took in?

The person that said "fear woman" was right. Fear that gender and trust them at your own risk.

Let me share my story anonymously. Although I have accepted my fate and moved on but will want others to learn from my experience.


I started dating this delta Igbo girl since 2018.
She was just preparing for her NYSC back then while I was working in the power sector.

We had a very good relationship and bonded well. Late 2022 (four yrs into the relationship), I decided it was time to take the relationship serious and meet with her people.

She happily accepted and told me to reach out to her mom, which I did.

To cut the long story short, I met with some of her family members and made my intention known to them. They welcomed me well and told me they will get back to me with their feedback.

Since October 2022 that I made my intention know to the family, they were delaying the whole arrangement while giving me silly excuses.

I kept my cool because during this period, the girl was not giving me any cause for alarm. I believe her story that her family members didn't want her good (her dad is late).

Last year June,, she took in for me which I accepted and was glad about the whole thing...so I started putting pressure on her about the wedding, so that the wedding can be done before the pregnancy become very obvious , I never suspecting any foul play from her.

To my greatest shock and surprise. On the 11th of February, I just had a strong urge to go visit her family. Getting there I saw them having a party. I inquired of her what was happening. She said her aunt was doing hosting. I will abit relax but still disturbed within me. They gave me food and drinks which I accepted. I was just not comfortable within me. I called some of the persons that were present at the party and inquired of them. Lol and Behold another guy has come to do introduction for my girl

To be continued...