Kinesiology:
I'm sure this is a safe space to rant...

On my way back home I bumped into a lady in a public transport and she was the only person there and immediately I entered, we both looked at each other, I greeted her and she replied. Looking at her, she was pretty and had a very calm face with glasses on. She was definitely someone I would love to start a convo with. But I couldn't. Different thoughts just coming to my head..how do I start, where do I start from, which question will be appropriate to ask.

Before I knew it, bus was already full and from there on, I knew it a no no.

And it made me to start thinking that with this kind of lifestyle, one will be prone to miss so many opportunities, just because you can't speak up. Imaging seeing someone you like, and you cannot be brave to start a conversation.

I have been in this kind of situation so many times. And 99 out of 100 times, I miss the opportunity to start up a conversation because I am stuck in my head.

I wish I have an advice for you on how to take that bold step but I don't. The 1 out of a 100 times I do start the conversation, it is always the best experience. Unfortunately, I am yet to find a way to always choose to talk. There is no clear explanation for why those few times were different, the only common denominator is that I was in my excited state. A state when I act opposite to my natural self. I can't purposely put my self in that state.

Recently, I got someone's number I have always wanted but it's been more than a week since I reached out. Sometimes I wonder what's the point, what makes us so different from the rest? Are we even the same species as the rest?

To make matters worse, I am a bit more weird than even the weird ones, more introverted than any introvert I have come across and more strange than the strangest.

There is a glimmer of hope though. I believe that all we need is that 1 in a 100, or even if it is 1 in a million when we do start the conversation. It is magical and it is worth it and it happens to us all.

Sometimes you don't find your people, they find you. If you are lucky that is.