₦airaland Forum

factorial1:
for real... @bolded, no tell me say na typo error.

chinziaski:
Some might think I'm narrating a James Bond movie but this happened.

I was travelling to benin with my cousin who wanted to write pume in 2009. The first bus we entered got bad, the mechanic we called did a fast job and told us to return the bus to Lagos because it won't take us to benin safely, so we returned to Lagos.
Putting us in another bus, we started our journey. We got to Ekiadolor around 8pm when we saw a trailer blaring his horn.

My driver: why you de shout na?
The trailer driver: ode, thieves park for front de wait una.
Female passenger: yey! We don die o

I just located one of the hidden spots in the bus and kept the 25k my aunt gave us for the journey and other activities.

To be sincere, if formular 1 organisers were there that night, they would've employed our driver in one of their formular 1 car races. My driver swiftly reversed in a way, I, a mechanical engineer cannot calculate the centripetal force and velocity of rotation.
The thieves noticed foul place from their stand and decided to see what was keeping buses from coming to them, so they started driving towards us. They found out that buses were reversing in numbers, oboi see shooting. My bus' windscreen was shattered with bullets. We bent our heads to protect ourselves from the bullets while the driver was driving as if he was going back to Lagos. These thieves didn't stop there, they left our lane and turned to the other lane so that they'll be able to drive fast and catch up with many buses possible. The shooting that night was sporadic, I couldn't count. I only lied down on the ground of my bus and praying for survival. I told God that if I pass through this challenge, I will be a good guy.
My driver couldn't drive anymore, he turned to the right when he got to ekiadolor junction and told us that "OYO". He stopped the bus and left us to our fate. That was when Usain bolt "original" came to existence. We ran like never before. We didn't care if the thieves were behind us, we were running just to find a place to hide our heads.
The painful part was that, I forgot my 25K in the bus. I nearly died in spirit.
I later ran into a mallam's house who just finished selling his suya and preparing for the next day's suya market. The funniest part was that, I never knew my cousin was following me all along (bad brother). As I entered the man's house, he brought out his dagger and the hausa-made grammar started.

Sincerely speaking this is what he asked:

Mallam: who I be?
Me: thief de pursue, abeg make I hide for ur house.

He saw the desperation in my eyes and everything. He dropped his dagger and allowed me in. Before I could say Jack Robinson, we heard another knock on the small rafia gate. The mallam shouted this time "who I be?" The person that replied was my cousin. He said "I be the brother of that person wey enter now." That was when I realised I had a cousin with me.

The robbery attack was later quelled by the mobile policemen who were holding check point prior to the ekiadolor junction.

It was a horrific night.

christybabe:
Lol, @ Kristina my namesake and @janeify. Dnt mind them, pretenders does the worst. If you have never had an experience, no need to preach, just keep it to urself, all these holier than thou attitudes that we come across here is too much.

priscaoge:
Nne de thing weak me.....Be shouting "I'm a Virgin" like they gonna win award ... mstchewwwww Who cares anyway ....If u think u are then shut d bleep up

kristina1:
Even most of them aint virgins,real virgins dont shout it from the rooftops,they keep it to theirselves.

Dont be suprised,those claiming v on nl are the one screaming harder and faster in the nyt..

tosyne2much:
does your phobia for receiving PM also applies to me

tosyne2much:
I'm flirtaciously winking so as to know if you will reciprocate by flashing me green light

kristina1:
Exactly..

cupidhero:
Nairalanders should stop acting like bots, most nairalanders use the cliché "Do the needful" and i think those who love using big words when writing a dairy is just plain stupid. One dairy that jeninma shared some weeks back made mizmycoli's most formal epistle look so informal. Big words don't make you intelligent. Write to convey a sensible message instead of writing to impress the fans of Hon patrick obahiagbon. True intelligence starts with you not being a conformist. be yourself and stop sounding like a worthless piece of literary art.

shadowgwalker:
I'm a guy, but can I say my experience cos I was responsible?

tosyne2much:
I just remembered I have them in my village

faithugo64:
Advantages of staying chaste
you have

1. Peace of mind

2. Peace of mind

3. Peace of mind

#teamstaypurehavepeace#

tosyne2much:
[i] Hehehehehehehheehehe nice thread Naijaboiy

I don scatter house so tey I no gree see anyone ooooo.. The funniest tin be say, na me use my hand dey tear my pictures when I dey young

MissSlimbody:
yeah, got fat @ a point but became slim again.

That's me on d right in 2004, during WAEC

Dahjhi:

I JUST CANT LAFF OOO.. SEE THE FIRST PIC AS YOU TAKE SERIOUS.... . and this one with it bro na so you hold ur certi like say like depend on it and ignore ur bro for one side like say u nor sabi him..

Paretomaster:
Ni ba,haushe ne daga Birnin Kebbi, amma na girma a Lagos ne. Wane gari kike?

peteruuu:
JESUS!!! what's all these?? *my heart beating fast!!!*





I have even lost my appetite

chrisvilla:
Nne ejim A1 na. udasusu na utoasusu igbo

Is that a yes on the inbox thingy ?

Tallesty1:
Ayam from the state that have the best husband and wife materials.



Enugu State!

dechandel:
Hmm
Dreamy? If it was about the pot of banga soup i was perceiving its aroma around 1a.m. Then my night was really dreamy
Harmattan use force enter lag na. I can't even walk around the house on bare foot.
Kedu?

tosyne2much:
I have been snatching an engaged lady b4 the invention of Gold circle cond.om so your shouldn't be an exception

chibwike:
All these ladies saying yes......what if the guy dosen't want sex....will you be the one to initiate it.....i tot they said women control sex....and thats the power they ve got over men....how will u now be telling a guy to have sex with you, when he wants to wait b4 marriage...

And to all these females, that are saying that, they want to test, they want to know if he is good in bed and son on.

God that gave the law against fornication is not a fool, he cant allow anyone who obeys his word to be put to shame.

What if you test the man before the marriage, and discover he is ok, then in the marriage itself, something then happens, would u now leave the man for another.

Smh for girls and guys of these generation.

Immorality has really eaten you deep.

tosyne2much:
are you sure ?

chrisvilla:
Nne idi ka nwata mhuru na nro...
Nne enwere m ike I degara gi akwukwo na inbox gi?

dechandel:
Shuga
Good morning

dechandel:
Janeify oo
Adaoma. I sight you

mesoade:
I pity d smal pikin sha ,him go dey luk when im mates dey f**k