₦airaland Forum

Yhemit: Guys help me o,mine acc teln me 'invalid password' ....

lwkmd....wetin u dey think?

kristana: Abeg abeg , sanu or ssanu or waeva they cal dmslvs. .dy shd beta nt do netin funi o cos i cnt imagine facing a strike after diz long wait.

I was still a predite when ma mom has already told our neighbourz dat i'm skuling at oau ife...it's quite an age i finished p.d now....our neighbour wnt let me rest, they kept askin me evryday dat -did they fight in ur skul? ar u still on holiday since dis mnths? Ar u on strike? I'm even sick of dir questnz....ssasu mst nt strike oh

8 But it was Sunday, the day of the Lord and the commander sought the praying Nigerians to pray. The spirit of the Lord rose mightily upon us and we arose boldly to fight the elephants.
9 The Nigerian tomentator, Emmanuel, who knows the battle is not to the strong(emenike) ­­ was quick to draw the first blood. But the Goliath Drogba, flanked by his generals roared greatly, setting up his protégé, a certain Tiote to draw level.
10 It was then Sunday, the one anointed to do battle on the day of the Lord who said ‘mba’(no), this Goliath shall not go free. He then poweredhis ballistic missile and the Ivorians were utterly destroyed.
11 The semi-final was really a semi battle, against the Malian fake eagles.
12 And I charged the army saying “Know ye that they are psychologically ­­ your slaves, for their land should fall apart safe for your soldiers protecting it”. We moved and utterly sacked them. Even the keeper of their posts confessed, that he sees fifteen men instead of ten swopped on him like bees!
13 And came the final battle on another day of the Lord, to decide the final contest with the aboki warriors from the far zone.
14 Again prayers were sought from Imams, pastors and prophets and on mountains and in camps, prayers were offered, prophecies released.
15 But our heros, Emenike and Moses were injured and after prayers the Lord answered and said “Go, for you shall prevail, that in this you shall know that my strength is made perfect in weakness”.
16 And the Burkinabes played, seeking to create offset of offsets but alas, they were no match for our army.
17 Emenike was not listed forbattle but strong holy Moses was there raiding. The one anointed to do battle on the day of the Lord, Sunday said mba(no) to the abokis, skillfully powering home the winning shot early in the battle.
Praises:
18 All hail the champions! These young brave warriors, purveyors of lost glory, the hope of a new generation.
19 The Nation celebrates thegolden heart Moses, carryingon his shoulders the land where he lost everything. You are indeed a victor, winning against the unholy extremists that sought to terminate your dream. Your parents, martyred in the vineyard, are sure smiling. Your story evokes both tears and joy.
20 All hail Emenike, Mba, Ideye, Musa, Uche, and Ejike!There have never been suchrampaging armies.
21 All hail Mikel, Onazi, Nosa,Fegol, Reuben and Obiorah. You belong to a golden generation.
22 All hail Yobo, Oboabona, Ambrose, Echiejile, Omeruo, Juwon and Azubuike. History will not forget you.
23 All hail Enyema, the braveveteran keeper of posts, with your men Austin and Chigozie.
24 O this army, this team, you represent the dawn of a new nation, the shining examples of tomorrow’s men,the beacon of hope for new Nigeria. And Stephen Keshi, you symbolizes the brand of leader we all dream, a hope that they are still men who can fix the mess.
Arise Nigeria!
Author:
Abah John Abah, lives in Lagos

Chapter 1.
1 I, Stephen, was on the Island of decision, after my sojourn in wilderness of Togo and Mali.
2 And I heard the Lord saying“Go back to the land of your birth and answer the call of service. For this purpose have I sent you to the wilderness all these years, to teach you endurance and to equip you”.
3 Say to the nobles and princes of the ‘glass house’. “The spirit of the Lord God isupon me, to mend the brokenglasses. Influence me not in this assignment, for I shall only do the bidding of the Lord.
4 “That I may choose those in whom the lord has put the spirit and skills of soccer. Tobuild a great army for the land”.
5 To the king and princes in d palace, even Aso Rock shall you say. “The Lord hascalled me to show you the way by which things can workin this land flowing with milk and honey. To show you thatmen called to serve do not stain their hands with filthy lucre. And that this assignment shall reveal to the land My brand of tomorrow’s men”.
6 And to the mafia of old brigade in the soccer army say: “The day of mafia gangsters is gone. The elitistband of tired legs, those whomeasure their ages by themselves, shall no longer reign”.
7 That by my hands the Lord will raise mighty men of valour, a raiding soccer army.
Chapter 2.
1 And on that day the Lord spoke to me saying, “Arise, go ye to the four corners of the earth and gather to me brave and skillful boys in whom I have put the spirit of soccer, patriots burning with passion.
2 “In the Anglo land ye shall find one Victor, the son of Moses. The one about whom it was written by the Anglo press: ‘Holy Moses has parted the red sea’. For by him I shall part every ‘red sea’ before my army.
3 “Go, do not be afraid of hishistory, for I have infused him with patriotism beyond reasons. I have a purpose even in his story when, like Jephthah, he was driven from the land losing everything, even his loving parents in my service, by zealots who think they can fight for All-powerful God.
4 “ I have ordained that to show my generation of tomorrow’s servants how to be patriotic”.
5 And the Lord said “Go in to the East in search of Emmanuel, the son of Emenike, of the house of those who know that the battle is not to the strong. In him I have put strength and pace to torment every line ofdefense before my army. By his lethal boots, he shall deliver my people.
6 “And to the four corners ofmy land Nigeria go, gather local warriors. These will show my people that to do battle is not by where one plies his trade or associationor education. It is by the skills endowed by Me.
7 “Among these you will find a certain son of Mba, the onecalled Sunday, for in crucial times, I will stir my spirit in him and he will say to the enemy ‘mba’(no)” especially on the day of the Lord.
8 And I, Stephen, gathered this band of raiding armies, even men without records.
9 And the Lord said “over these I appoint you a commander and Joseph, the son of Yobo, in whom I have put a humble spirit, as captain. And the veteran Enyema shall keep the posts.
10 “I am sending you to command a glorious army, of the type you captained in the90s”. We camped and trainedeven for five weeks, only five weeks!
Chapter 3.
1 And the month of the battle came and I heard a still small voice saying “ These are thearrow heads of my battle: Attack with the rampaging trioof Moses, Emenike and Ideye.Any ball that escapes the bulldozing legs of Emenike shall not pass that of the pacey skillful legs of Moses and occasionally the shrewd Ideye shall do the damage”.
2 And this army went raiding,beginning with the Abokis from far zone, from the land called Burkina faso. The battle was fierce but Emenikewas fast to pull one against the far warriors. At the end of the day it was all square but the Lord said “Go, for your day of victory against them shall be the final battle”.
3 Then we said bia(come) to the champions from Zambia. Itwas a battle against the champions and was not easy.Again Emenike drew the first blood. They came level and itended again a draw.
4 I then cried to the Lord: Have You brought us out to these battles to be disgraced? The Lord answered me and said. “These champions shall never win a battle but you will win. I told you the battles will be tough in the beginning”.
5 Then came the final battle of the preliminary against theEthiopian unholy eunuchs. The Ethiopians were gallant but in the dying minutes they paid dearly for their indiscretions.
6 Their unlawful challenge onour rampaging Moses gifted us penalties. Moses parted the red sea with his sharp shootings and we passed on dry grounds to the quarter finals.
7 Then came we up against the giant elephants from Ivory Coast, the adversary of Nigeria. The boasting Ivorians captained by their Goliath, even the one called Drogba frightened us greatly.We were like grass hoppers before them and we look even so to our people back home.....

frosbel: Allow me display my fanaticism by saying that the grace of GOD is not for winning football matches

if u're unda God's grace, anytin u're involved in wud always b successful. Includin gamblin;-(

babarazy: wat of d bonus they promised us?

ar u one of us?

Akpors was enjoying the sunat a
beach in lekki.
A girl approched him and asked ARE U RELAXING?,
akpors replied NO I AM AKPORS.
Another lady walked up to him and asked himagain ARE U RELAXING?
Frustrating this time akpor
said I AM AKPOR,I'M NOT
RELAXING.....
Finally he decided
to leave the beach and find beta
place to rest.
On his way he saw a man sunbathing himself
and ask hm ARE U RELAXING?
The man said YES!..... Akpor
gave him a dirty slap and said
WAS IT NOT YOU EVERYONE HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR
SINCE?!...lmao. I tire 4 dis akpors self

Akpors always comes to a
restaurant in my neighbourhood
to eat rice and stew. There was a
day he came as usual and ordered
for rice and stew but was told
stew was still been prepared.He
then requested for rice and ate it.
After eating, he was told stew
was ready. He requested for stew
and drank it. After drinking, he
collapsed terribly, holding his
stomach and started rolling on
the floor. I rushed down to him
and asked; What is wrong with
you?. He replied; i am mixing the
rice and the stew.

Akpors and Joba went for an
interview for employment. joba was the first to
enter the interviewing office..(the manager askingjoba questions).
Manager: who was the first millitary
head of state in Nigeria ..
Joba: General Aguyi Ironsi..
Manager: when was the Northand
southern
protectorate in Nigeria Almagamated . .
Joba: 1914.. Manager. Dat is gud of you..
Question no 3, is it true that the cure for
hiv/
aids is discovered .. Joba: eehm.. yes
but
not scientifically proven...
Manager: good way of answering
questions,
pls can you wait for us outside and we
will
attend to you later... (when joba
went
outside akpos asked him)..
Akpos: joba, what are the questions
and
please tell me the answers??..
(as joba was about to tell akpos the
questions and answer, the manager
shouted
from inside `NEXT'..
Akpos then said to Joba)..
Akpos. Ok tell me only the answers..
Joba: answer to
number 1 is: General Aguyi Ironsi,
number 2 is=1914,
number 3 is=yes but not scientifically
proven
(mumu Akpos got to d interview, after
exchanging greetings, d managertold
him to sit down)
manager. Please sir, What is ur name?
Akpos : General Aguyi Ironsi (manager became confused)
Manager. Please what year where you
born?
Akpors: 1914
Manager: (angrily, he shouted at
Akpos)!! are u mad?!!!
Akpos: Yes, but not scientifically proven....more ar yet 2 cum

UNCLE Akpors: Ah! ibro long
time! how re U doing?
ibro: Am ok tank u. I came to
look for admission to
realize my dream of
becoming a Doctor! I hope u
can help?
UNCLE Akpors : o I see, how
was ur O'level?
ibro: Fine O! 2 credits Sir,
Yoruba & Agric.
UNCLE Akpors: Laughing
That is a Good Result My
Brother!! ! U can still be a
Doctor but a native Doctor.
Use ur credit in Agric to
look for Herbs & ur credit
in Yoruba for incantations

Kalaba short wide

Chofa: EMMANUEL MAYUKA, he scored the only goal of the game, pls check the time i posted this, A RED card for a Nigerian player in the Second half

u gonna b disappointed 2day...enemy of progress!

Every guy wants to date hot women. The problem is that most men are intimidated by beautiful women and have no clue what it really takes to attract them.
Hot women get hit on all the time and have a ton of options, so in order to succeed with them, you have to find a way to stand out from the crowd. However, don't think this is about money, fame or good looks. It's about being different.
Hot women are attracted to masculinity and confidence, and if you don't possess these traits, then quite honestly, your chances of attracting the hot women you want are minimal. Average guys are everywhere, and they don't get noticed. Hot women don't want needy, insecure and weak men. They feel attraction to men who are in control, strong in their own reality and make decisions without needing approval fromothers. Beautiful women don't need to ask guys out becausethey have men coming at themfrom every direction, all the time. So if you want any hope of attracting these women, you have to take action and talk to them.
If a woman is hot, chances areshe already knows it and she will move on quickly from a guy who doesn't have the guts to approach, hold eye contact and have a normal conversation with her. So instead of falling all over yourself and being in awe when you're around a hot woman, completely ignore the fact that she is extremely good looking and treat her like any other person you might meet. This technique notonly makes you seem “normal” to her, it also makesyou seem mysterious and will spark her interest. She will then subconsciously think thatyou have a lot of options. You'll then create the impression that you are hard to get, and hot women find that kind of challenge irresistible.
Most women care more about the way a man carries himself than his looks. Hot women will pursue an “average” looking guy who is articulate, makes them laugh and knows how to have a good time much quicker than a man that may be a little better on the eyes, but is wearing a frown and looks uptight and unfriendly. Showing a woman that you have the etiquette of a gentleman is also a powerful way to stand out from the crowd, and small gestures from opening a door for her topulling out her chair will set you apart from most of the other guys.
One of the biggest mistakes men make with womn is being completely predictable. Being predictable instantly kills the main two things that all hot women are desperately searching for: excitement and anticipation. Women are naturally attracted to a man's personality more than anything else he can offer, soin order to attract hot women, be original, spontaneous and keep them guessing. Be creative and offer up fun things to do that they don't keep hearing from other guys.Be a man with a plan and makeyour move.

http://www.crazynews24.com/help-line/1610-how-to-attract-very-beautiful-women.html

I got dif frm one of d pages i liked on fb. I tink it's quite interestin.....Pain during and after abortion has been inadequately studied.
1: Women report pain levels that are usually much worse than suggested in pre-abortion counseling.
2: There are a number of unpleasant side effects, including nausea, various gastrointestina ­ ­ ­ l discomforts, prolonged bleeding
3: Abortion increases a woman's overall risk of breast cancer by 30 per cent.The risk is likely muchhigher in women who have a first abortion at a young age, or who have a family history of breast cancer. Since 1957, 23of 37 worldwide studies showan increased breast cancer risk with abortion, a risk as high as 310 per cent.
4: Subsequent pregnancies are negatively affectedby induced abortion. The main complications are: cervical incompetence leading tofuturemiscarriages; uterine perforations and placenta previa with serious implications to the health of the woman and her child(ren) in later pregnancies; and ectopic pregnancies which, if undiagnosed and not treated,can lead to a woman's death.
5: Women die from abortion-relate ­ ­ ­ d problems
6: Women who have abortionsare at risk of emotional difficulties after the procedure, especially those with pre-existing factors such as relationship problems, ambivalence about their abortion, adolescence, previous psychiatric or emotional problems, pressureby others into making a decision to abort, or religiousor philosophical values that are at odds with aborting a pregnancy
7: Children born after a failed abortion may have limb or digit abnormalities and other congenital problem..
8: After an abortion, women are more likely to display self-destructiv ­ ­ ­ e behaviors including suicide and attempts at suicide; mutilation and various forms of punishment (including repeat abortions and sterilization); ­ ­ ­ drug, alcohol and tobacco abuse; and eating disorders as a way of denying or minimizing the guilt, pain and numbness they feel.
9: Women who abort often havetrouble bonding with the children of future pregnancies and have a higher chance of eventually abusing them, which leads to a cyclical pattern of abuse-abortion- ­ ­ ­ abuse.

5: He makes comments/hinting that obviously says he’s done
If he starts making too many jokes about breakingup with you, heprobably does. Every time youget into an issue with him, he shouldn’t besaying, “Geez you’re annoying. I should break up with you.” He starts hinting that youhave nothing incommon or hinting that he’s not right for you.
He may hint that your goalsconflict with hiseven if they don’t. He’s trying to let you know that you’re not going to be around much longer so he’s dropping hints. Ex: My ex made jokes about breakingup with me frequently, even if it wasn’t attached to something bad. We could be eating out and he would say he should break up with me because I liked ranch withmy fries instead of ketchup
6: Withdrawal, avoiding andignoring you
Remember the days he used to call or text you when he was on break at his job? These fly out the window as he starts to ignore you. You end up going long periods of time without seeing or hearing fromhim. When you finally get in touch with him he won’t soundtoo excited andmight want to rush your interactions to keep them short. To put itshort he wantsto keep it shortwhich means heis over you.
Ex: My ex stopped sending and responding to calls and texts.He would make up excuses to avoid me and I even had friends/family members catch him in his lies. He would say he was at workthus why we couldn’t be together but then my brother would catch him at themall hanging with friends
7: His friends are more important than you
Yes, we all have friends and like to hang with them alone without having your partner clingingto your hand but when the friends come over you, there’s a problem. You should have equal time with friends and your boyfriend.He might start breaking plans with you for hisfriends. His friends get to see him six of the seven days a week and you just get the one. He’s bored withyou and is getting his fun from his pals. Ex: He would break off important dates/events that we had planned for in advance just to go play games with his friends.
by Megan Star

http://www.informationng.com/2013/01/7-signs-that-your-boyfriend-is-about-to-leave-you.html

Love and relationships isa beautiful thing and we allwould like to experience them but not allof the time is the person we’re with the right one for us. This leads to the dreaded “break up” that we all hope not to go through but it is inevitable and necessary for progress.
We must move on and leave unfulfilling relationships if we want to reach our goal of finding “the one”. Now I’m no love expertand have no degrees in studying relationships which to some extent is good because I am speaking from real experiences and not just statistics but I would like to share my knowledge to help others in this situation.
I’m only speaking from a woman’s point of view because I can’tspeak for whatgoes on in a man’s mind. Sometimes we go into denial and blow off obvious signals that he is about to give you the boot. I will give examples of each sign from my own past failed relationships tohelp give you an idea.
This isn’t your typical top ten signs your guyis going to leave you. I’m talking about all of them. NowI might have missed some so this isn’t the full complete list soif you have more please share with us your experiences. So what are the signs that your boyfriend is ready to let you go and move on?
1: He makes comments about attractive women and not so much you
If your guy cares about you, he’ll be complimenting your attractiveness left and right while ignoring other girls. If he starts commenting about how sexy another woman is right in front of you and stops commenting on your sexiness,that’s a sign he’s done with you. You no longer appeal to him so his eyes are wandering and he doesn’t care if you know it. Ex: My ex would mention how cute the girls inhis film class were right in front of me andwould even suggest me doing things that they did totry and make myself look better.
2: He doesn’t do what he says he will/ then does it immediately after you’re gone
Naturally we have to bug guys nonstop to get him to take the trash out or mow the lawn, that’s normal actually but when it comes to more important things that’s when it becomes a bad sign. If he goeson about getting a betterjob so he can care for his family and never does then five yearsgo by, that’s a bad sign.
It’s even worse if directly after he lets you go he does it thenhooks up with another. He tells you that he will do things with youbut then mysteriously bails every time it comes up. Ex: My ex for two years talked about making a film and did nothingwith it until after I was gone. He nevertook photos of himself but suddenly after I was gone he became a photohound taking pictures of himself nonstop. He promised to take me camping but every time the chance came hemade up excuses to keep it from happening
3: He turns youinto the bad guy when you haven’t done anything at all
Guys will flip things onto youso that you become the badone in the relationship even though you might havehandled every situation correctly or what he is accusing you ofis untrue. The guy may complain that you’re being distant, yet he’s the one avoiding you.
He might say you don’t give him enough space, even though you changed your schedule to only see him once a week. He might say you have no goals when you’re going toschool to be a lawyer while he’s sitting on the couch watching TV allday with no job. Hopefully you get the point here. It can be anything from them accusing you of being too dependent to not communicating yet they are the ones that fit what they are accusing you of being.
Ex: He claimed that I had no goals and just wanted to be a house wife justbecause I cleaned his apartment a few times. Just because I didn’t have a job for five months out of our two year relationship meant I was lazy. It took mefive months to get a new job after I was laid off yet somehow I was lazy. For two years I workedfive days a week all day except for the five months I was job searching
4: He keeps asking aboutthe status ofthe relationship
If the guy keeps asking “are we okay”,that’s a problem. Now, asking about the status of a relationship if it’s early off like just started dating is something I can pass. When you’re freshly dating, you want to tryto make sure you’re doing things right so you can work on correcting big problems so that in the long run you’ll be fine but after awhile you should stop the askingand let things be.
By then if your relationship is good and healthy you won’t even need to be thinking about if you’re doing well. If out of the blue he starts harassing you with this question, it’s his way of saying he doesn’t think you’re doing well together and wants to break it off. Ex:When my ex and I came to our final months together he used to ask if our relationship was good every time I saw him. Each time he asked he worded it differently but it still came down to “are we okay?”

dopeJemi: .





If cheLsea No Lose dis Match, change my name

2 imbecite?

brownlord: Dem say una won bomba tomorrow, na true

yeah...

By how many years ar u older than i am

Iykopee: All these dafts in here talking trash can u for sure tell anybody ur ancestral background? Even archeologist wud find it a hard nut to crack let alone NL street urchins.... Oduduwa dis, oduduwa dat, igbos are israelites or jews sounds meaningless to discerning minds.......steupid iddiots always causing confusion here and there..

dis guy is suffering frm mumuity...help him pls!

Deleted

Holars1: I jes chkd mine, i had 95%CMP....HPE DAE LL NT QUESTN ME SHA O

iwe..why human go dey lie lyk say na mumu dey here?

lareola: jay tell us all wat happen wen u got in for programme so dat we can believe u but if not we wud keep on guessing

get me an akada 5in1 note book+ 13biros....all what happend when i got in 4 programme!...

ayoyori: jaydruke no cum do us jay jay 4 here o.fulish scammers.mtchew

if everybody dey talk shey u dis numbskull suppose dey talk? Abi u nor get senior 4 una houze ni?

kunlemarsh: Jaydruke go scam una whalahi na today pls there is still hope for those with 2500 and above the problem with you people is that you hate hearing the truth why would we want to scare you nobody is paying us to do that last year as many as we were Cut offs were as low as 40 so and i fell these year cut off should be lower cause last years perfomance appears better there is nothing like runs i know mr faniran very well tell jay to tell you his real name just pray thats it

wetin u sabi?

If u're 2 be either a president of this great nation of ourz or d governon of a state in dis naija, u have 2 runs it!...dis is naija...runsing everything is 99% possible...

ludasam222: bros nawa 4 u o.......u dey du runz 4 pd entrance

I'm an ex-predite...i made 34%(bcp) when i sat 4 d entrance exam...na leg join money do am, sebi na naija we dey..holla u boi on 2go...id=jaydruke...08093832161...faniran is a.....

Fjjc

Guy, b sure of what u're abt 2 type b4 u......candidates chosen frm d p.d area may nt be up 2 60...infact, it can never b up 2 60, there was a year they chose only 10people...max. Is 40....

juniorstar: my fellow nairalanders i am led here to inform medicine and surgery applicants i the house that your choosing medicine and sug and having an average cutoff of 268 i.e utme+putme/2 does not guarantee your admission into oau ife to be candid with you guys the senate committee is not too happy with this year performance at the utme exams.Also it is the tradition of the school to select 100 medical student each year out of which 60 students is chosen from the pre-degree candidstes and 40 is chosen from the utme candidates i am not a prophet of doom i am just telling u guys da fact.as forthose that have an average cutoff of 268 & above thank God and keep praying but for those that also had an average of 268 but chose oau as second choice i have nothing to tell u guys but to try again next year i made that mistake once and i promised myself never to try such an act again and for those lucky few that will be admitted i say congratulations i hope to met u at the matriculation and perhaps the orientation and tour week thanks

kheart: Yoruba people re d most stupid hypocrate on d face of d earth, wen gej change unilag to maula(beggers) na dem com dey open dat there oversize kpomo mout yet dey re declaring june 12 as democracy day. Mtchewwwww

u're a fool

here comes the d-day