₦airaland Forum

I don't know why the Government of Ogun State is putting the lives of people at risk, most roads in the State are very bad.

Beautiful write-up, it will be better if men can learn so domestic violence can stop in this coutry

easyboss1:
By Bisi Adewale

Most Men do hurt their Wives in the name of correcting them. They speak harshly, they are so rash in their approach and can be very brutal.
Lots of women are living their lives in bitterness and anger due to the careless ways their husbands have been talking to them over time.
Here you will be able to know the right ways to talk to your wife without hurting her:

1) LOWER YOUR VOICE: Don’t shout at her, she is not your housemaid, she is not a Child. You can correct, yes, but why shouting?

2) DO IT IN LOVE: Correcting should be done in love if done in any other way it turns to criticism and condemnation

3) DON’T CRITICIZE: Stop criticizing her, rather correct in love. Most will say it’s constructive criticism, true? It means disapproval by pointing out errors and mistakes.

Correction is the act of offering better options to mistakes.

Correction and criticism are never the same.

Husband A says: what manner of food is this? is this popcorn or fried Rice? how I wish I marry a more sensible wife, with better home training, who can cook better

Husband B says: Sweetheart this rice is too salty and dry unlike the one you did yesterday. I think salt should be reduce any other time because of our health.

Husband A criticized, Husband B, corrected his wife in love. Stop criticizing your wife.

4) PRAISE HER FOR WHAT IS RIGHT: It will be wrong to correct when it’s not well done when you don’t praise when it’s well done. Form the habit of praising and appreciating your wife for good deeds.

5) DON’T DO IT BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN: Avoid correcting your wife in the presence of your Children. Incessant correction of your wife before your Children will make them disrespect her.

6) DON’T CORRECT HER IN THE PUBLIC: Avoid correcting your wife in the public, it does not show you as a gentleman, and will affect her self-esteem.

7) AVOID CORRECTION IN ANGER: Stop correcting your wife in anger, shouting, ranting, beating and making trouble. Real men don’t do that.
DON’T COMPARE HER WITH ANY OTHER WOMAN: In your thought of correcting her, you might have been comparing her with other women. “Don’t you see what your friend is doing?”
“Can’t you learn from our neighbors wife?”
“I think you should borrow a leaf from deaconess so and so”
This is very wrong, no woman love to be compared with others, stop it.

9) AVOID REFERRING TO OLD ISSUES: Avoid referring to issues discussed and settled, stick to the present issue, discuss like adults and move on.

10) DON’T ATTACK HER WOMANHOOD: And you call yourself a woman? Virtuous women don’t behave like this, you better change before I change you.

This is very wrong, don’t do it.

11) DON’T ATTACK HER DIGNITY: You don’t behave like someone with sense, do you think at all? And you said you went to school, I doubt it. This is very wrong, you too, you are not talking like somebody that pass through a college.


12) DO IT IN TIME OF PEACE: Most husbands do want to correct in the heat of anger, at the height of misunderstanding, when temper has already hit the roof. That is not the best time to correct, it will yield little or no result.

13) GIVE A HELPING HAND: The best way to correct is to lead by example, step into the kitchen to give a helping hand, don’t just sit in the front of the Television correcting what goes on in the kitchen. Wives are doing a great job, appreciate yours and support her to be a better wife and mother.
http://www.dailyfamily.ng/13-ways-correct-wife-without-hurting-feelings/

A wonderful write-up for this period we are presently in Nigeria.

easyboss1:
Recession is hitting hard on so many couples these days, some husbands and wives who are not given to anger by nature have suddenly developed attitude of being angry, resentful, touchy and reactionary over financial obligations and issues, many are working but it seems the income can’t swallow up the expenses, some have even lost their jobs in the recent times left with only their partner working and the spouse that is working is feeling the financial pressure.


Where the couples are both working, there are still complaints of hike in prices of many family necessities and other financial pressures here and there.


Here below are ways through which couples could navigate through recession unhurt and still be comfortable



(1) Transparency

There should be a candid discussion between husband and wife at this time to put on the table their regular income, this will become open to both parties, it would help their demands on family income and curtail them on many unnecessary expenses. If the family will progress, It is not advisable to keep mum about each other’s income.



(2) Planning and budgeting

Couples must plan and budget their income every month, there should be an allocation for each category of family expense based on past experience and consideration of certain factors, this will shape the family and put every member of the family into the right perspective. Couples need not be accountants before they could draw up simple projection model to run with and must be accountable yo each other.


(3) Working smartly

To be engaged in certain work is not enough, but one must work smart. Both husbands and wife must be gainfully and smartly engaged in legitimate works that can bring money for the family. No room for laziness and complacency, none of the party involved in marriage should have excuse for not working, in recent times, I have seen adults in marriage complaining of work hazard, insults from superior, stress etc as reasons for not working, there must be maturity, discipline and wisdom to overcome whatever challenge comes with your profession.



(4) Cost reduction

This is not the period to buy anything from anybody anyhow, you must learn shopping principles, which market pays better, where to buy quality things at good prices, you need a list of items to buy when shopping, learning bargaining and quality testing principles. From all angles, reduce your cost, whether recurrent or capital cost, ensure you are top of the game.


(5) Cut down wastage

Avoid wasting resources, throwing an unnecessary party, gathering and feeding people who are not hungry, learn to monitor whatever you are cooking to avoiding wasting your gas and food from getting burnt, teach every member of your household to learn this principle. Your dispenser should be monitored, your freezer and the quantity of food your cook.


(6) Bulk purchase system

This act of buying things in bulk as against piecemeal purchase, when you adopt this principle, you save some fund in the process, your budget will highlight the quality and quantity of things needed at home, so from the projection model you could confirm the size of items needed within a month so you could buy such items in bulk, stock your house and freezer, you need to avoid environmental purchase.



(7) Multiple streams of income from legitimate sources

Honestly, we need to look beyond fixed monthly salary if every couple wants to live comfortably and be able to accomplish some goals like completing house project and the likes of it. There are a number of businesses that either husband or wife could do legitimately to increase family income.


( Differentiate want, need and luxury

There is a need for couples to train themselves in focusing necessities that family need rather than being engrossed in their want and luxury. Couples may desire and wish to have certain things based on their feelings and circumstances may be to impress or oppress certain people, this is tagged want while Luxury is accumulation of material things leading to sumptuous living or enjoyment of comforts and pleasures beyond those things necessary for a reasonable standard of well-being



(9) Moderation: Couples should embrace moderation in their spending so that they can have some left over for savings and investment, in achieving this, the following should be considered:

– Taste: Couples should checkmate their taste for high materials things and pleasure beyond their income and level, for now, they need to defer gratification when they are not due for it



– Expenses: Couples should be mindful of their daily, weekly and monthly expenses, never incur expense because everybody is buying it at your office



– Living below your means: The total cost should be far way below income, never form the habit of eating up all your income both the one meant for now and the future

Also read this: Tragedy hits family as final year student stabbed to death


– Avoid debt: Buying on credit will affect your future plans and budget, more so you tend to pay more for time value of money, think well before such steps



– Faithfulness: When you receive your income, your faithfulness will preserve the achievement from that income, being faithful in the payment of your tithe to God, being faithful to your spouse by not humanising or engaging in night crawling, not spending on frivolities that have no return on investment, be wise.

http://www.dailyfamily.ng/9-ways-couples-can-survive-recession/

Two people coming together in a relationship is very interesting has it involves your strength and weaknesses coming together. While lovers mostly enjoy their strengths and points of attraction, they neglect the differences often.

These differences must however not be neglected so as to enjoy a blissful marriage. Here are ways to work on the differences between you and your partner before marriage.

* Know your differences
The first thing to do before working on the differences between you and your partner is to identify those differences. What are those things you don’t get along with in your partner? Know them one by one.

* Identify the differences you can work on
There are some weaknesses in your partner that you can’t work on or adjust no matter how you try. For example, if the person is a stammerer, you can’t change it. However, there are some habits you can work on like way of eating or certain reactions.

* Appreciate strengths
Before you approach the differences in your partner, first take a look at his or her strengths which are those things you really appreciate about that person. Don’t identify them alone but tell the person how much you love them in that particular area.

* Discuss the differences
Take out sometime, sit with your partner and discuss the attributes, character, habits that you wish him or her could improve on. Note however that you should not condemn the person but express yourself in love. Show the person you will love them to work on those aspects.

* Help your partner to adjust
After you have discussed the differences if they are what you can adjust, help the person to do so. For example, if your partner doesn’t know how to spend rightly, always check whenever you are together if he or she is spending too much and give a signal or ask about his or her savings.

In a relationship, it is important for partners to help each other become the best. When the differences are taken care of, there will be more understanding in the relationship and marital success is achievable.

http://www.dailyfamily.ng/work-differences-marriage/

I hope say Igbo boys and dem Hausa boys see something learn from this.

It's good to find the right partner, I saw an article related to this on www.dailyfamily.ng, 15 WAYS TO HOOK UP WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER http:///2tywIys

Segzee1:
Signs to watch out for in a right relationship




Finding the right partner can be challenging. Once you start dating someone, you should ask yourself important questions to determine whether such person is right for you or not. You should think about whether your share common values and interests, how you communicate, how he/she makes you feel, and whether he/she treats you with respect. Once you determine your priorities and evaluate your relationship, set some time aside to have a conversation with him/her about your future together.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, want to around them day and nigh, gist with them and hang out together to chat some funs and like their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with someone wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to go extra mile, engaged in some activities or do anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.


People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the hotness of the love faded away. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Many relationship only get hotter and stronger within two years which is referred as” come on the high hill” and after two years it will turn to”come off the high hill”, like diminishing return in ecommics.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the exitment of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found. If you believe the characters of your partner is bad and you think your character is the best why can you influence him with your good characters in other to change him/ her.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common, many people cheat on their partner simply because their the relationship had come of the high hill while others turn it to work like chatting with ex on social network.But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. Why not, You could. And TEMPORARILY you will feel better. But you will soon be in the same situation if you did not first work on yourself before bringing any person to your world.

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. and most importantly, it demands wisdom because wisdom is profitable to direct . You know what to do to keep the vehicle of the relationship moving at a jet speed.

Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe such as lae of gravity, there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always, Decision Determine Destiny. The decision you take toward your marital life will determine the destination of the such matrimonial home: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

http://www.dailyfamily.ng/signs-to-watch-out-for-in-a-right-relationship/

can somebody find out what exactly the mama wants from her son's wife

Jaykindude:
see me see wahala, mother-in-law putting on wedding gown at her son's wedding!

see me see wahala, mother-in-law putting on wedding gown at her son's wedding!

pressy09:
Mother of Barcelona’s star Lionel Messi, Celia Cuccittini has been accused of starting a rift that has lingered for long with her son’s new wife. The accusations seem to be true as she appeared at their wedding wearing almost the same gown with her daughter-in-law.



Celia appeared at the wedding with her family wearing a silver white lace gown that looked so similar to that of Antonella Roccuzzo the new bride. This act in Argentina shows a lack of respect for the bride if any guest or family member attend the wedding wearing white.



Despite that the designer of Messi’s mother revealed that she will appear “dark”, it was surprising to all that not only the color of their gown was the same but even the design of their dresses was the same. It is rumoured that the choice of dress was an attempt by Celia to compete with her daughter-in-law who she never wanted to marry her son.



There has been a rumour that a long-term rift between Antonella and Celia has been for long which is caused by the long-standing rift between Messi’s mother and Antonella’s family and the families has not been on speaking terms.



The family battle was glaring as the bride’s family was reported to have stayed in a different floor at the hotel while the Messis booked an entire floor of the City Center Rosario hotel Complex. A source had revealed that the rift of the families has been for about seven years now.


It was gathered that the fight can be traced to the 2010 world Cup, when the Messis were on their way to South Africa before it was revealed to them by an interviewer that Antonella was already there. According to reports, Messi’s mother got angry at the information which led to her son stopping his parents from attending the competition.
http://www.dailyfamily.ng/wife-vs-mother-law-messis-mother-battles-new-wife-antonella/