₦airaland Forum

jiro: Thanks a lot

you are welcome dear

pastorhen: @Gozanga any anyone else
where is Norwa-Gbam and how far is it from Oil mill. Thanks Gozanga

its not too far frm oil abt 30mins with out traffic jam. Norwa is kk. Ogoni land.

jiro: Thanks can I reach there by road or I have to use water?

Either by road or water anyone u prefer cos they just commissioned their bridge. Direction: Enter Bus going to Bori, alight @ kira junction. Then enter cab or bike to Bolo town. Gudluck!

Any CSS umuagbai here ?? Lets roll ;DAny CSS umuagbai here ?? Lets roll

jiro: Pls anyone posted to css bolo? When are u going let's talk

Bolo is cool place, i served there during my NYSC though its a riverine area but you will have real fun. Bolo beleme! Good people!

@sleekybaby / eyaa sorry dear, God knows best, may God give you d hrt to bear d irreplaceable loss. Accept my condolence.

k4kenny: As I'm reading the OPs story I was wondering whit I'll do if it were my son?TBH, I'll really be disappointed and I certainly won't 'mind my own business' as some people have suggested. Every one wants the best for their siblings/ loved ones so if one of them is veering off course, then there's cause for concern.

Jaynec, what has happened has happened, no need crying over spilt milk. Your brother has not come for your assistance, trust me he will in future. Till then just sit back and quietly observe. If he says the woman in question makes him happy, take his word for it after all he's a grown up. Its now all about the newborn, (s)he didn't asked to be brought into this drama so give him all the love and affection he deserves.

Thanks K4kenny , am greatful

BOLAJIAJANI: To start with a 24yr old person is not a kid, and they can pretty much make decisions by themselves. Like someone suggested age isn't the threshold for maturity, because he's 24(you're just a year older) doesn't make him naïve.

However, I get part of where you are coming from, and it's only normal for you to want what you think is best for your brother. But, if he feels and believe he's doing the right thing, sister, I really don't see why you should work your nerves on it.

I know from what you stated, he's not making enough money to run a family and also support himself through school. But, I doubt it's just about that, I think(not sure) you feel that the girl isn't right for your brother which can be deduced from the way you wrote, "She's an illiterate", "She's quite older than him."

Nevertheless, the following questions you should be looked into:

Why is he marrying the girl, is it because it's the right thing to do even though he's not really into her? Or is it because it's the right thing to do, he feels strongly and definite about the positive outcome of the relationship and he's also in love with her?

I like to believe it's the latter because there are only so many people that would go through with marriage just because they popped someone.

Jaynec, my advice to you is, try to show support to your brother instead of acting like he dissapointed the family when it's not like he stole a goat from the market. If you keep acting this way like you've got a panic attack or something, he's not going to open up to you.

BTW, your brother don't have to do a marriage with the girl right now. They can just do a light-weight introduction between family, stay together to take care of the baby and figure things out. But, don't try to separate them especially when the two parties believe strongly that they have everything under control.


"We all make choices in life, but the hardest part is living with them."

Thanks Bolajiajani. God will continue to replenish your wisdom. I appreciate alot.

Rhythm: Shut your mouth little girl.

@ Rhythm or what ever ..u talk anyhow

Chibuking81: @Jaynec, thanks for your information and your effort, I sincerely appreciatate.

you are welcome dear.

Chibuking81: Does it mean that PPSB are not yet ready to give us our posting letter? Pls the good people of PPSB should help us out in this our long awaited expectation.

I went there this afternoon , they said we should wait dat dey are working on it.

kabsun: If were the Op, I wil calm down and calm my family down also.
Since she claimd she mean wel to her brother then she shld be thinking of how to help him take care of his responsiblity.
Shiiiits happens in life. Put yourself in the lady's and the child's shoe, then you wil understand.
I beg you, plz dnt do anything to seperate them. You too is growing and dnt knw wat you wil do in life that wil bring lots of blessings to urself.
Help them even if its wit prayers plz. God bless you. Wish you prosperity in life.

tnks Kabsun. I appreciate.

yellowpawpaw: Poster,I can't c any disappointment instead all I c is bleeeeesing!!!
Why r u embittered that ur bro gave a woman belle at 24? Assuming he is 17 yrs nko?
If I were u, I will gladly welcome d lady.
We will go and do intro and court wedding sharp sharp. She will come and live with us. As we hustle for daily living, she will join hand(unless she is d type pregnancy de disturb well well). We drink garri, she drinks with us. After giving birth and nursing, all hands must be on deck. Wait a minute, ur bro looks very promising and having a wife and a kid will make him to try more.
Give them ur blessing jor! ( This ur mindset no gel at all).
In a civilised society, a 24yrs old is a complete adult!
Tell us when she born o!

lolss i like ur personality. Tnks for making me calm.

Travelista: And the brother being promising may be the cause of their 'disappointment': a wife and baby reduce the amount that brother can give them; OP's posts have been nothing but selfish and she lied from jump. She doesn't even know the girl and has painted her as some barely literate, old maid when it turns out the girl is her brother's age mate. Wouldn't be surprised to find the girl is also a student and/or working.

He obviously cares for the girl as he is still there with her and avoiding his meddling family.

you are a big fool. All my family wants is a gud life for him. I was even planning to takecare of his education.

Travelista: What's wrong with you? You're actually sitting here and referring to your brother's child (that shares your own blood) as a 'mistake'? Have you even asked your brother how he feels about the mother of his child? Again, his responsibility is to his wife and child...not you or anyone else. He's a father now and to ask him to run away from his obligations due to selfish reasons is wrong. How you think your brother choosing a wife and having a child deters your dreams and/or reputation beyond me but here you are making such a claim.

You've been asked over and over in this thread and not answered once: what if the roles were reversed? What if YOU were in the young mother's position? Would you be happy to know that your in-laws want your husband to abandon you and your child? Offer your brother support but realize it. Is. Not. Your. Business.

you talk according to ur level of understanding. I can neva be in such position .24yrs old undergraduate ,he doesnt even know his left frm right. He may abandon d girl 2morow cos of exposure later in life.

Travelista: What's the real issue: that bro was irresponsible, got a woman pregnant and is trying to do the right thing OR that there are two additional mouths to feed on his paltry salary? Think really hard about this because you mention your father not having much money and it seems you lot are looking at your brother as a potential source of income. NEWSFLASH: he's not responsible for your welfare; your parents are. He's responsible for his wife and child.

Girl, what exactly are you doing with your life that your brother's choices are your personal headache?? Have YOU finished school? Are YOU working? Do YOU have a relationship? If not, I suggest you get on the path to adulthood. Get to know the mother of your niece/nephew and be respectful and see about getting your own life.

Let me answer your questions. Am a medical lab scientist, i finished 2010, am working in a govt hospital. I have plans to further my studies n i dont want anything to deter my dreams n reputation. My bro made a mistake, but i would nt let him suffer . He still have along way to go.

idnoble135: OP, your brother is in a mess now. I can bet he cant think straight, such kind of things are fit to destabilse a man who was not prepared for it.
My thoughts goes alongs these lines, you can not force decisions on him, he is a man. He wont open up to any one of you for fear of criticism. I'm sure you want the best for your brother. The best you can do is to show him love, love him as though nothing happened and show him that love. This should help him to be free around you. Then you both can talk. And he would aptly want to follow your advice, simply because you have shown concern for him.

thnks alot

byvan: He must not necessarily marry her but your family have to figure out a way of taking care of the child, they can get married in future if they are compatible and wish to . nobody should be forced into marriage irrespective of the circumstances.Please calm down and think of a way forward,shit happens.

swts tnk you. I appreciate alot

[quote author=ifee-gee]@ Jaynec,why not calm down and find ways of working round the situation.

I'd strongly believe,if you can't zip up then you should take responsibility for every of your action.

When you sleep with the opposite se.x without protection,then u should bear the consequences when it comes calling.

So my dear, don't get all worked up things will take it natural course.[/quote]what are u talking abt. Pls read well b4 commenting.

martyns303: Hehhehehehehe!!! Pardon me! She gives it to him real good huh? (Rhetorical). Dude starts making a lil money on the side, then he starts hitting "kpekus", got an aged chick pregnant, then have her deliver the baby, have the balls to come tell his family he wants to get married, oh! He's a man alright. Am sure poster is jst concerned instead him using the little cash to support the family he's going to use it to start another family.

you can say anything u like.

[quote author=Omo_Alata]Whoa! does she have any source of income at all? she is pregnant, I highly doubt she will get an abortion at all. So your brother is going to be a father regardless. I will advice him not to get married at this time. He is too too young to emotionally handle that type of commitment. The only thing you can do is to love him and help with care of the unborn baby.[/quote]D lady gave birth to a boy in may n has been staying with him in kd. My bro was afraid to tell me until recently . I knw wat he is passing thru, he is nw so slim n old.

Richfella: I mean how old is the lady?

shes 25

Richfella: I will give an example with myself. When I was 22 (6 years ago), I was tripping MADLY for my way-older account officer - who already had a baby. I sincerely felt I wanted to marry her at that point.

Was making lots of money and lived on my own. I was what you would call an 'adult', but in retrospect I was a full rétard; an over-grown baby. Thinking back now now that would have been one VERY DUMB decision.

Believe me he certainly doesn't know what he is doing.

thnks dear. I appreciate ur comment.

[quote author=Omo_Alata]Does the lady have a job? if so, does it pay well? She can shoulder the financial responsibility until he can fully stand on his two feet. 24 is quite young to be a husband. He has not even experienced life yet. I will advice him to stay with her until he is emotionally mature for marriage and has a meaningful salary. Then he can get married her if they both agree to it[/quote]Dear d girl is nt even educated , she just finished sec

Richfella: She.

no he

zeelo2014: If u can,ensure he doesn't marry now. No man should get married till he is financially capable of taking care of himself,his wife & coming children if not he's gonna regret it.

dear wat do u advice we should do?

jay bee: I do understand that but at the same time, it's not nice having other people involved in one's relationship so long as he hasn't specifically asked for help.
Dude is an adult and should be responsible for his actions.

jaybee my bro is still too young for dat nw, really i mean it

Richfella:

Ok, on a more serious note, you guys have to FORCE him in any ways you can to not go ahead with the marriage.

He's still doesn't know shít (my opinion). You guys can offer to keep the baby but pressure him to forget the marriage part until he graduates & gets a STEADY JOB.

On another note, how old is she (please don't tell me 30+)?.

he is just 24

jay bee: Your brother has a job and he frankly hasn't asked you guys for financial help so what exactly is the problem here?

He is a man and should be left alone to make his own damn decisions.

You need to start MYOB like seriously

He is still struggling with schl fees. D engr firm is just a one man stuff n nt realiable.

Father Bless me

mathmatica: .....very soon we go hear sey nah bori-camp.

lolsssss hahahahahahahaha

[quote author=Hopesweet]Lord Jesus, l pray for 13,000 souls that will be coming from far and near, to gather for the reward of the fruit of their labour on Wednesday. The days are evil and we are already in EMBER month. May we travel in divine safety and not to enter into the net of prematured death. Every vessel despatched against us, must crash into irrepairable pieces. Every evil powers behind the operation of idols, sacrifices, rituals and negative agreements, be nullified in Jesus name. I command open disgrace on the mask of disguised enemies, intended to cause trouble on that day. I cover the venue (liberation stadium) with the blood of Jesus Christ. Thank you Lord, for l know that u have answered, in Jesus name. Amen.[/quote) Amen!