chalantmike:


yhur situation is both psychological and spiritual, let me paint a scenario for yhu, right now yhur like a person that has been injured, yhur protecting yhur wound, and bidding it,while avoiding any scenario of it been re-inflicted ,two things are yhur trigger Benin n family, so yhur giving in to yhur self preservative instinct, problem with this instinct is it doesn't solve the problem only masks it.

psychologically yhud benefit well from therapy, it will help yhu open that wound, so it can heal.yhu have to face it, and tell yhurself the truth, in every one of those scenarios that has impact the way yhu relate with those triggers.

understand two things.
1.there is nothing yhu could have done differently, neither is there any way things would have turned out.

2.yhu can not control have everybody, or situations impact yhu, yhu can only control yhur response, pick yhur response rightly and very thing else would fall in place.

go into meditation, re-live yhur past again, see yhurself in it, walk through, let yhur heart raise,re-live the emotion then let it go.
be willing to open up and talk about Buh also be patient with yhurself cause it will take time.

DO NOT TAKE/MISTAKE THIS PERSONALITY YHU HAVE ON, RIGHT NOW FOR YHUR REAL SELF,YHUR NOT REALLY YHURSELF, YHUR ON DEFENCE, YHUR IN hiding AND IN SELF PRESERVATIVE MODE. yhur real self is who yhu were before the trauma ,when yhu still see people in positive light.aim to be that person.

Spiritually
yhu need a spirit guild, yhu need a relationship with the universe.
a spirit guild would take yhu on a journey through life, yhu will learn,yhu will hurt,Buh yhu will grow and heal. I must warn yhu it will dump yhu in exactly that same trauma that created those triggers in past, to see how yhu fare.

A relationship with the universe, will make yhu realize yhu are not alone, yhu never were, the All seeing eyes is representation of that, the is like a mother, it guilds, it direct,it feels and it teaches. yhu will learn trust, and how to give up,surrender yhur power to the one greater than yhu, by giving up yhur power yhu gain more power.

Luke 17:33
"Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it."

Ecclesiastic 11:1
"Send your bread on the surface of the waters, for after many days you may find it."

Patience is key,be thankful for everything.. a spirit guild would benefit yhu greatly cause he will help yhu change from inside out,he will teach many things. yhur dream pattern will change,that I can promise yhu, yhud be come happier and fuller.

if yhu want a spirit guild all yhu need do is ASk, no ritual,no spell,just ask.

from personal experience, let me predict yhu have a well developed empathy, empathy is a form of psychic, emotional based psychic,that would account for why yhur self preservation instincts are dominating. I know it accounts for mine.

some people have gone through,similar ordels,some even worst than yhuve gone through,yet without therapy, or all this bullshit spiritual mombo jumbo,they seem fine, still happy, optimistic, wonder why ?.

I recounted my ordeal to a friend, he told me about a friend who went through similar problem, in a week, he was fine, relating with everyone like nothing happened, eventually everyone forgot about it.

it is that magnitude of pain that yhu feel, that's what yhur trying to avoid,Buh its what yhu should accept, allow yhurself more,allow yhurself be vulnerable, the same propensity for weakness that yhu have is the same for strength, yhur as soft as yhur hard,yhur also as hard as yhur soft, so don't be scared or shy either point, they're dual point on the same rod.

sorry for the long epistle and possible errors.

on behalf of the universe I say sorry.

Thank you. Appreciate the feedback.

Billyonaire:


The educational system was designed to enslave the masses. The certificates are mere certifications to qualify you to work for venture capitalists. I hated the system, so I worked corporate for about 3yrs before taking the risk to venture into every imaginable fields in a quest for freedom.

Your health is the most important thing and you need that kidney (lol). Before heading to Thailand, try this; 2 Teaspoonfuls of Baking Soda in a 4litres container of water taken daily for 1 week and your liver will be cleansed and every pathogen in your system will die. Then the following week, Add Apple Cider Vinegar to the water (no baking soda). Third week - Just 4 litres of clean water per day and you should be good. This is hydrotherapy.

You can just be in a sauna or steam box after each day to sweat out the salts. I personally steam myself almost daily to keep optimum health.

Note: Baking Soda, not baking powder. Baking Soda is Alkali and not pathogen can survive in alkaline. Apple Cider Viner is acidic. So, in essence, you alkalize your system the first week, the following week you acidify it a little to aid digestion and third week you cleanse the entire system. I do not think any form of health crisis can survive this. Fourth week, go on organic fruits and vegetables and should be okay for the rest of the year, except you consume alcohol or meat etc.

Also try to stay without food and water for 3 days at least once a year to get rid of fermentation in the stomach. You should be fine. Incorporate conscious breathing into your routine especially to get rid of stress.

Also, would you mind sharing how you got / found your freedom financially? Thanks again

Billyonaire:


The educational system was designed to enslave the masses. The certificates are mere certifications to qualify you to work for venture capitalists. I hated the system, so I worked corporate for about 3yrs before taking the risk to venture into every imaginable fields in a quest for freedom.

Your health is the most important thing and you need that kidney (lol). Before heading to Thailand, try this; 2 Teaspoonfuls of Baking Soda in a 4litres container of water taken daily for 1 week and your liver will be cleansed and every pathogen in your system will die. Then the following week, Add Apple Cider Vinegar to the water (no baking soda). Third week - Just 4 litres of clean water per day and you should be good. This is hydrotherapy.

You can just be in a sauna or steam box after each day to sweat out the salts. I personally steam myself almost daily to keep optimum health.

Note: Baking Soda, not baking powder. Baking Soda is Alkali and not pathogen can survive in alkaline. Apple Cider Viner is acidic. So, in essence, you alkalize your system the first week, the following week you acidify it a little to aid digestion and third week you cleanse the entire system. I do not think any form of health crisis can survive this. Fourth week, go on organic fruits and vegetables and should be okay for the rest of the year, except you consume alcohol or meat etc.

Also try to stay without food and water for 3 days at least once a year to get rid of fermentation in the stomach. You should be fine. Incorporate conscious breathing into your routine especially to get rid of stress.

I'll do that. Thank you. And, yes, I was drinking a lot during the time of the crisis, and I know it contributed to the liver/ kidney malfunction. I even had 2 bottles of red wine last week because it really boosts my confidence even though there's no one around me to witness the confidence,;it's as though I was getting drunk to reassure myself of my self worth (does that even make sense?) But I'll follow your advice. Thanks

Billyonaire:


My Chinese girlfriend went through similar level of trauma. She never wanted to be married or even have a child, but when she met me, she started crying that she wants to get married to me and have a baby. She said for the first time after traveling to different countries, she has met someone who understands her. Needless to say, travels has separated us. But she she is fine now and has finally gotten a new relationship at Dalian, China to a lovely guy who will give her a baby.

The story above is to show you that I know about how the human mind works and I can help you go through it with your permission. You do not know how to reset your mind back to normal after a crisis. It is dangerous. Now, the sub-conscious mind has taken over the running of your entire organism and you react impulsively to events. You need to restore your mind back to default - you need to de-learn and re-learn how life functions today as against how it is supposed to function (your expected version of what life should be).

Shall I begin:

Now, in order to help reset your mind, I will tell you a story. If you totally understand this story, it will help reset your mind, and we can proceed from there.

You are a Human Being, a Spirit Having a Human Experience on Earth. Your body is just a space-suit designed for plane Earth. That beautiful body of yours is a very temporal housing to protect spirit, your spirit from Electro-magnetic radiation and pulses of Earth's magnetism. Just like our Astronauts protect themselves from radiation at the ISS using their suits. So, understand this truth, that you are a conscious energy called spirit having a Human Experience on Planet Earth. This may be your first mission to Earth, so this planet and her people freak you out because of their 'wickedness' cos they lack empathy and are bestial in nature. You do not think you belong with the people who hurt you.

When I said spirit is here on Earth to have human experience, I meant it, and now the question is, where was your spirit before birth ? Where was your Dad's spirit before birth ? Where was your mom's and your siblings' spirit before birth on Earth ? Well, we are star seeds, we come from different star systems and from your birth date and time of birth on that birthdate, I can locate where your spirit came from. Same with that of your Dad and all the people who have passed on, which you loved and cherish.

Death is a process where the spirit leaves the spacesuit, which was designed for Mission Earth, and return back to the star system it came from. So, your Dad has returned back to his planet of existence, where he was before coming to Earth, and if he has not fulfilled his soul mission, he will be heading to another planet or even return to Earth to fulfill Soul mission. If you want to speak with your Dad, you can do it and I am sure you know how to do it, you just need someone to confirm that it is so simple. But remember that you must raise your vibration and tune to specific frequency that your Dad's spirit it for the messages to come through. These are real signals and it is purely science, but if you can not raise your vibration, your Dad can come through when you are on your altered state of consciousness during sleep and dream, so the shock from such fear will not traumatize you further. Death, is a necessary tool. I wish I can write more on this, but I am already hoping you understand that the 5 senses can not totally perceive the other aspect of us. So I am just telling you this truth hoping it strikes a cord.

Now, regarding your state of mind. Ayuasca and the rest of the mushrooms and even the DMT (God molecule) activates the sub-conscious mind while the conscious mind regulated by the left hemisphere of the brain goes silent, yet you need both hemispheres of the brain to regulate both the sub-conscious and the conscious minds. Remember, these minds are receptors of signals broadcasted from our projecting reality. The Ayuasca ceremonies are great for accessing the Quantum worlds but we must balance rationale thinking of using the left brain/consciousness mind mechanics with the robotic sub-conscious mind. Without this balance, the result is multiple personality disorder and it gets worst when an entity notices the defects and installs a circuit on your light body and uses you as a host.

What you need to do is this:
Practice how to distinguish your mind from self. You are not your mind, so......when ever you have any time at home when you are doing nothing, close your eyes and monitor how your mind wanders from event to event, from thoughts to thoughts, and when you catch your mind in the thoughts, bring it back to yourself. Just supervise the mind and stay there, make sure the mind stays on focus on something you truly want to think of, not where your mind is wandering to. You can decide to think of something you like. Anytime your mind wanders off, and you recognize, just bring it back to the event you wanted to think of. The significant of this, is that you have now recognized that you are not your thoughts.

Stage 2: Close your eyes and shut them real tight. DO NOT THINK. Can you do that for me ? Each time you catch your mind wandering in thought, blank it out and think of NOTHING. Can you do that ? Well, this one will fragment the mind when done consistently, do not do it while you want to sleep, cos I dont want you sleeping off or feeling like you are loosing your mind. Just keep it blank....You are supervising your mind here.

Before we proceed to stage 3, Know that we are animals and we have removed ourselves from our natural habitats and so we do not eat organic food, we do not drink natural spring water and we have decided not to sleep when the sun goes down and wake up when the sun rises, we have gone against the natural rhythm and we are paying dearly for it, so you are not alone. Return back to the natural rythmn and stay away from GMO food and fluorinated water. Starch, plant protein, clean water (4 litres a day from a week) should return you back to organic mode if you can practice breathing exercises that put your body online, cos right now you are disconnected from life energy so your entire organism has to be put back online.

Stage 3: Take a deep breath through your nose, and hold it for 8 seconds and exhale through the mouth in 4 seconds and continue that for as long as you can daily. If your body vibrates, do not be alarmed, just incorporate the breathing exercise with the mental exercise and your diet and later on, I will tell you how to face your fears. You will be fine.

Thank you so much, Billy.

I have done several cleanses, and eat organic whenever I can. I also stopped eating meat for a while (I felt much better, my head was clearer, and my skin cleared up). However, because I'm trying to go to university to get my degree (I never went to university), I'm trying to become financially independent, and so in the meantime I'd had to revert to eating unhealthy food (as you know, organic can get quite expensive). I'll explain what I mean; I've been out of work for the past 3 months on stress leave, and insurance had refused to cover it because I refused to take medications which, as you know, further mess your mind up. I do not see doctors, and have always taken responsibility for my health (also, I'd taken stress leave for 3 months last year, which they covered; I guess which is why they've refused to cover it now); so, now, I've had to take employment insurance which is 55% of my salary. I can't afford organic at this time, and I've been using the time off, morning till evening to perfect my understanding of the forex markets, and also trading binary options.

Basically, I know that a lot of what I went through could have been avoided if I was financially independent, and I, after working for several companies/ financial institutions, know that you practically become a slave when you work under these systems in place. I'm only getting the degree because I love learning, and I could decide I want to return to Nigeria and contribute in the sector of sustainable and renewable energy, which is the program I would be going to university for.

I've been dabbling in and out of learning forex for over 7 years, and only in the last 8 months, after wasting money on different business ventures, did I rediscover forex trading, and have been focused on really understanding it.

The feelings of despondency is what is really getting out of control. It feels like my physical body can't take anymore. What I noticed I was doing over the years was that, after spending about a year in a particular workplace, I'd start feeling as if my spirit was so uncomfortable in my body. I don't know how to explain it, but it'd seem like my spirit felt like jumping out of my skin, and then, I'd leave that job and find another. It was like it was a way of renewing my energy. I've done sales job (selling capital to small business owners), done collections, etc. These jobs are completely different from who I am. I'm not the overly extroverted type at all, but they say Pisces is the mutable sign, so I guess I've been transforming myself to fit my environment. The thing is, I end up being so good at the job, my employers like me and want to promote me, but inside of myself, I despise the job, and the type of people I've had to work with in these settings. Salespeople can be the most arrogant, non-self-introspecting type of people you'd ever meet, and bullying is their watchword.

I wake up feeling tired, and just fed up with life in general. There's no enthusiasm in anything I do. This last job was at a bank (I don't know if I'm going back when my EI finishes; it depends on if I start making money from my trading, because I don't really need much; I rent a master's bedroom, so my expenses are low; only my creditors calling my phone nonstop; I'd used money from loan companies to venture into the different businesses I'd tried in the past, but creditors can wait; I just ignore their phone calls for now), and when I first got it, I thought they'd pay well (this is a huge bank with branches worldwide), and the bonus I got after 1 year of working with them (working hard, making lots of sales for them, exceeding my sales goal) was utter sh*t! That was it! I now comprehend how the system works. Everyone who works there lives paycheque to paycheque. There are people who I started with that don't mind, because finance was what they got their degree in, and so they hope to move up the ladder, and so are okay with living paycheque to paycheque (If someone reading this is wondering, in Canada, you don't need really need a degree in order to get what some people would consider a "good job" ). This is not what I want. I spoke to a guy who's been there for 5 years, and he told me he was making $55, 000 a year. Are you kidding me? After 5 whole years?

Anyway, I will start watching my thoughts again. Thing is, I do it for a while, and then start to relive the past again. I feel relieved to be able to speak about these things, though. I've had them bottled up for so long. I think the anger I have for the maternal side has also affected my liver; I have things coming out of my skin for the past one year. One of the reasons this forex thing has to work, because there's a detox program in Thailand I want to go for, and salary money won't get me there.

Waiting for the rest of your post. Greatly appreciate the feedback/ advice.

Billyonaire:


Now you see, there are a lot of open secret about our bodies. If you wanna live long, breath less. Oxidation is the cause of aging so the less oxygen to take the less the oxidation.

Hi! First post on nairaland. Been coming here since its early days for snippets on what goes on in Nigeria, and today I came across your post, Billy, and I had to sign up.

So, I've been open to these things since I was a child as my paternal grandfather was an Eckist who read everything from the bible, koran, books on buddhism, to the tao te ching etc. So, he taught me a lot. However, it was only as an adult that these things slowly started to make sense.

Now after so many deaths (popsy, darling grandfather, sister), and useless experiences (from my maternal side; just terrible people, and mind you, very religious; popsy's side may go to church from time to time, but it's no big deal; my dad NEVER went to church, and was very nice and free-spirited), I feel my energy is seriously scattered--no, f*cked! (We're not allowed to spell it out completely, right? even though I'd have loved to.)

I've gone for two 10-day vipassana sittings, and I also take Ayahuasca in the Santo Daime setting from time to time, but still feel very stuck. I'm in my early 30s now, and I know I do not want children. Mind you, I'm very motherly, and always wanted children but after the experiences I had with my useless maternal side (yes, I still have a lot of anger), I decided if people like that actually exist, I'd rather not bring any of my seeds into this world, but just spend my time here figuring what this is really all about, and how it works.

I came across 'Reality Transurfing' by Vadim Zeland a few years ago and it opened my eyes to things I never would have thought of, and also things I'd earlier suspected. All this knowledge, however, has not stopped me from sabotaging myself. It's as if whenever someone in a high position tries to help me, I get suspicious of their intentions. Once again, because of the useless experiences from maternal side. I feel like I've become a paranoid-schizophrenic. I suspect everyone. This was not how I grew up. The bad experiences really started when I was, say 19, here in Canada (maternal side are the ones here). I've cut them off completely, though. The battle of the mind is now what I seem to be fighting.

I used to be so happy to meet bini people, but now, everytime I meet a bini person, I run. Both sides are Benin, but it seems the encounter with my mother's family has damaged a part of my brain so that it now sees every bini person in Canada as a terrible being (lol, I know). You know how they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Well, I call BS! My quote is: what doesn't kill you, traumatises the sh*t out of you.

Billy, I'd be really grateful if you could release some of the information you said you were withholding for fear of people not being ready for it. Lord/Universe knows I am.

Thanks