₦airaland Forum

BKsoul:
Good afternoon.... Did you see all the allegations against you what do you have to say about it??

Please don't mind the troll, all the allegations levelled against me are false and fabricated. She has done the same thing on  my Facebook page trying to tarnished me which I have totally ignored her. I am not the beast she described here, I am not prefect but I have never lay my hands on her. assuming all the allegations were correct and why am I still a free man. Don't you think I should have been in prison?

Klass99:
Oh nice, I'm glad about the update and your good news. Though my amebo ears are itching to hear the rest of the story which you didn't share . But don't mind me

I think you meant December 2020 and not December 2019 right? Cos if she left the kids with her mum since December 2019 something must be seriously wrong, but December 2020 makes more sense to me.

God save us from useless children who don't want to be responsible in their adulthood. How can you burden your aged parents with your responsibilities (kids), after they raised you and should be resting/cruising in their old age?

I hope your mother-in-law's story serves as a learning point for people who are quick to suggest that a child born out wedlock by a side chic, should be handed over to the adulterous man's mother or sister.

Old people need a break in this life and shouldn't be stressed with cleaning up the mess of their adult children. Thank God for answered prayers on mama's behalf walahi.

If only you knew, you would have gone their sooner to get your child. Have you been in touch with your ex in the period of time her mum claims she has been unreasonable?

Thanks so much. Lol I can't share it on here because it's family secret that her mother has confided in me. Her mother said she left December 2019 and the last time I spoke with her on the phone was August 2019 she called me because she didn't see any money on her account so I have told I will not longer send the money to her because I want to have the custody of my child and that was the last time. I regrets to have abandon her but I swear if I knew that my daughter was with her grandparents I would have collected her long time ago but I am so happy to have her back now.

Happy Sunday guys. I want to thank you all for the advices and I really appreciate it.
Just a quick update on my daughter, she is with me now. I have also seek for advise from elders about the custody of my daughter. One of my elder have advised me to go and meet my ex wife parents first before taking the matter to court, to discuss about the custody of the child so they can talk to my ex wife to handle the child to me and yesterday I traveled to my ex parents house. I met her mother and when she saw me she started crying thanking God for answering her prayers . They welcomed me very well and she have told me that my ex has left for Abuja since December 2019 with her 3 months old baby and she left behind the other 2 children my daughter and her son with her parents and she also claim she hasn't call them for 8 months now, her number is unreachable. She has said a lot of things which I can't discussed it here because it's personal but she was happy that I have come back for my child because she couldn't cater for both of them, she is been praying to God to touch my heart so I can come to collect my child and at the end I got my daughter back. She is here with me now and I will give her the best life ever.

Klass99:
You need to stop listening to and believing the BS you wrote here! How exactly is she better off with her mother? What makes you think she won't be better off with you?

People erroneously assume that women who have children are good women and good mothers who will never hurt or do wrong to their offspring - this is not true. You think mother/motherhood is synonymous with saint, abi?

Is she not using the child as her personal meal ticket and for financial support to run other aspects of her life? I don't think she has kept the child out of "motherly love" but out of a selfish desire to have you pay the bills for all of them and fund her lifestyle.

A guy I know personally fought for custody of his 3 kids and was awarded custody by the court here in Nigeria o! There are sensible judges who are not swayed by the sentimental BS that children are better off with their mothers, such judges look at the facts of who is more capable/competent to handle the welfare of the child.

In my acquaintance's case his ex-wife didn't have a verifiable or sustainable source of income (and hadn't had one in a long time) the judge didn't waste time in awarding custody to the parent with the financial ability to cater for their welfare. I don't know how old the kids were @ the time, but he got custody and worked out a living arrangement with his mum and female cousins who help with the domestic side of things @ home because of his work/job.

Abeg no dey dull yourself o! Do your homework, speak with a competent lawyer and find out what your chances are of winning custody. I repeat, how exactly is she better off with her mother?

Thank you

mariahAngel:
As long as you've been a good father, your daughter will eventually come to you at the right time, and not even her mother can stop her. (Unless she's been a good mother to her)

Just a matter of time...

Thank you

aroundtheearth:
Unless you can prove that she's an unfit mother, the parent who has custody of the child during the separation is more likely to get full custody of the children after the divorce (are you even legally divorced?). You can get shared custody, of course, but you would have to involve a Lawyer. You're her parent as much as she is and have the right to see her as much as she does.

She was wrong to have upped the schools fees but not paying her anything for 2-years wasn't a good idea. It's your daughter you were punishing during those 2-years, not the mother. That said, to avoid her upping it again, I totally agree with the suggestion from other posters that you should start paying the school directly from now on, then all there's left to send her is the monthly upkeep for your daughter.

Yes we are legally divorced. Thank you

Blessingisrael:
don't stop caring for your child whilst she is still with the mother. pay her fee directly to her school and keep her teller. reduce the feeding allowance . Any how the mother wants to spend the money is up to her.

that your ex wife dirty gaan. getting pregnant for another man while still married to you to the extent of carrying it to term. tueeh

just get a lawyer who will put you through on how to get your girl's custody. please try and check up on her, she is suffering. please go over and bring gifts along let her grow seeing you around.

Thank you

ThiagoKid:
right way? Like, fr?

Yes legally

frozen70:
Try and find out the school she attends and pay her school fees directly to the school and keep the tellers

Anything particular about school payments do that yourself

Keep the prove of payments because of tomorrow

Leave the child with her and one day its either the child traces you or she returns the child to you

Thank you

Foodqueen:
How are you sure the girl is yours.

I am sure she is mine or else I wouldn't be fighting for her custody

sisisioge:
In that case, get a lawyer to advise you. You might have a case there. Good luck.

Thank you

sisisioge:
Wow! Na wa o. You really tried. You still wanted her despite falling preggers for another man under your roof! God didnt make plenty of you o.

By the way, to get your child's custody will be difficult especially since you're not married and can prove that you could adequately care for her. I'm assuming shes about 10yrs now. Get married and sue her to try your luck or patiently wait another 8yrs for her to willingly come to you. Pele...may Gid bless you with a fair person.

Thanks for the advice. I tried to endure for the sake of our daughter, I didn't want her to go through the same thing I went through during my childhood. All I ever wanted for her is to grow up with both of her parents in a happy environment.

To be Frank with you I don't want to remarry again for now marriage is the least thing in my mind. All I wish for is to have my daughter with me, I know it will be hard because I am yet to marry but I have my nephew and niece living with me for the past 6 years now. Please I want to know if Is this not enough proof that I will be able to take care of my daughter alone without being married?

Exmilitant:
so why are you acting like a sick puppy? What prevents you from marching to her place and drag your daughter out?

She belongs to both of us to have custody of her I don't have to be violence to her because it doesn't solve any problem, I want to do things in the right way.

Exmilitant:
Firstly, have you confirmed if the daughter is truly yours? Secondly, why do you want to keep a daughter whose formative years was around her irresponsible mother? I'll suggest you move on with your life. And don't forget to send some financial assistance to the girl for her upkeep every now and then.

It won't be easy for me to move on without my child, she is my one and only child I want her to be with me.

Romanoff:
It shouldn't be difficult. Just contact a lawyer first and have all the necessary information you'll need to proceed.

Thank you

Romanoff:
It is sad you married an irresponsible and ungrateful woman who is unwilling to change.

You have every right to seek custody.

Hope you have evidence of payments of these monies you've been paying?

Thanks for the advice, yes I do have the evidences.

LilMissFavvy:
After you discovered your ex wife tells lies and collects too much money from you, you should have simply reduced the amount of money you give her, rather than stop giving money for your daughter's upkeep. You should not let your daughter suffer because of the sins of the mother. If your ex wife doesn't have a stable source of income, then it means she's living off the pockets of men, and that's a very bad atmosphere for your daughter. The child is better off staying with her mother, but you should start giving the mother child support, and tell her you want to be seeing your child. If she refuses then you can go to court so that they give you visitation rights.

Thank you for the advice. If she is better off with her mother then there is nothing much I can do for her until she reach the right age to live with me . If I get her custody I will make sure to give her the best life ever.

Fulaniherdmens:
My friend what you said is most likely paternity fraud for me you got no case here rather than serving her a notice either from a family meeting or through the Human rights or customary court. Since u have been separated for almost half a decade and your daughter is above age jurisdiction to be with the mother, even if you have gotten a new lady she have no option than to accommodate your daughter.





Johnkey This Your statement no just make head
You need to calm down abeg.

Thank you for the advice.

johnkey:
stupid useless man, to shoot you dey hungry me. tueh

Stupid fool go and shoot yourself. If you have nothing to day young man go to the romance section because this matter is not for your age.

I was once married to this woman whom I had 2 kids with unfortunately we lost our first born at birth and we had only one child left.

She completly changed after the birth of our daughter, she started drinking and coming home late. Her parents were tired and ashamed of her attitudes but she didn't listened to them when they tried to advise her.

After a few years she becomes pregnant again, I knew from the bottom of my hart that I was not responsible for her pregnancy but because I loved her so much and I didn't want a broken home for our daughter because I am a product or a broken home, I have suffered all my life because my parents were busy with their new family while I suffered alone in relatives houses and I didn't want my daughter to become a victim so my prater was if I am responsible for her pregnancy, she will give birth peacefully and if I am not she will suffer during labour and the child must not leave.

God really answered my prayers because I was innocent and she really suffered during labour as death was knocking on her door, she confess that I wasn't responsible for the pregnancy and at the end the child didn't survived.

I told her not to worry that I have forgave her for the sake of our daughter, I paid all the hospital expenses and we went home. We were living fine and I have never for once I suited her or reminded her of what she did to me, but just 2 months after she left with our daughter and went back to her parents. I followed her to her parents begging her to come home but she refused becuase her guilty conscious couldn't allow her to stay in the marriage again but I promise to always be there for our daughter.

It is been 7 years since our separation and I have been paying maintance for my daughter but I had to stop 2 years ago because I have found out that she lied to me about a lot of things. She told me her school fee was 55k per trimester, I was sending her 25k monthly for chime upkeep plus her school fees but I later found out that her echo fee was only 33k per simester and she use the rest of the money to pay for her other son she had with another man.

I wasn't happy that I told her I will never pay for another man child that I want to have custody of my daughter but she refused.

So I haven't send her any kobo neither saw the child for the past 2 years because she won't allow me have contact because I am not paying for her upkeep. I would like to know if is possible for me to take her to court for the custody of my daughter because I don't want her to grow up under her care because she will turn up bad like her mother. Also I will not send her any money again as long she is still staying with her mother. she is 11 this July.