₦airaland Forum

mctowel01:
Jodha

In Tiwa's voice....


Boy yhu better come with yhur folks and yhur kinsmen....to come see my pipu ......

pcguru1:
In a way, you can judge one's intelligence and exposure from it. Monosyllabic either tells me she's busy or has an empty upstairs

But that shouldnt be a yardstick to determine whether yhull..date a lass or not...


Not everybody loves to chat ...

Neimar:
u raise yansh for easy doggy penetration?

Looolzzz...tfu bro ....

I jus dey hail una....

So chats is now one of a criteria....to dating a lass..nairaland ogas i hail una..infact i raise nyansh....

Loolzzz...zero chillzz...and zero conscience ...

Loolzzz ....i dey my papa house ...coman marry..

tosyne2much:
Madam, continue sleeping around under the guise of "don't put all your eggs in one basket"

It's none of my business

Loolzz..
Oga soothe yhurself...

Integrator1:
Keep preaching promiscuity, ladies with this kind of mindset will definitely loose at both ends and will be back to square one.

My dear yhure far gone...

kimbraa:
Ladies in their early twenties just want to be loved. Whether it's heading for marriage or not; they don't really care. While those in their late twenties are either committed or after their career. Don't forget that that's the age when a woman really knows her wants. Early twenties are still confused as to what they really want.

The mistake is telling other men you're in a relationship while you've been dating yourself. Some men could play a lady into thinking she's what he wants while he's just there for something else.

Sorry babes I meant late 20's early twenties are still flexing babes...
At the age of 27 ,28 and above...the Lady is gradually realizing she's not getting young anymore she needs to settle down ...then the pressure from family members and co start tripping in slowly...then the pressure from friends..when yhu start seeing yhur friends getting and yhure just there...and sh_tz like that...


Babe tiri gbosah for yhu...but nairaland guys will never understand this..

tosyne2much:
Madam, what exactly is your point? That ladies should be keeping multiple partners so that they will have something to fall back to abi? . Listen up, things like this have ruined many relationships, so do not encourage it

You post is as good as saying a woman should have a side husband so that she will have something to fall back to when her husband dumps her. Abi no be so?

This post reeks of mediocrity, low self esteem, indiscipline and greediness, and at the end of the day, people like you who think they are small will lose at both ends

Promiscuity is promiscuity no matter how much you try to embellish it, so which one come be "don't put all your eggs in one basket"?

This is my major problem with nairaland guys without understanding a topic they'll quickly draw into conclusions..

This thread is simply aimed at helping ladies reach the destination of marriage.... That's all...
The rift is actually the case ..cause yhur post has all the attributes of a mediocre..
Where is the low self esteem in a Lady tryna get married?... I don't think yhu know wah yhure typing... Yhu just dey type because yhu see people dey type...

Yhur kind are very wicked... So when yhure not ready to marry a Lady she should till down and be looking at yhur face...when her biological clock is ticking fast...

Yhure thinking from a very myopic and selfish point of view...that's why yhull never see the wisdom in what I'm saying...

kimbraa:
The purpose of the thread has been defeated by these people who never think through a thing.

Johda, what you're advocating for is for ladies whose biological clock is ticking. What do I mean?, ladies in their late thirties/early fourties desperate for marriage but get stuck with men who're either not saying or doing anything about marriage. This advice isn't for girls 'cause girls don't really care provided he loves them and marriage may not be a girl's agenda 'cause she may have other things like her career to focus on.

Your main point is for these set of women to keep an open mind, while in that relationship make male friends, don't just tell other suitors off, bring them close and study them in guise of being friends first and you never can tell 'cause that your boyfriend could walk out at any moment and you'll have nothing on him other than think suicide.

Exactly sis to I'm not referring to ladies in their late thirties and early 40's alone...I'm referring to ladies in their late 20's too...

In Nigeria a lady at 27 and still is looked at with the eye of "this one don dey over old for papa house" and stuffs like that...

So this is applicable to ladies that have it in mind to settle down...

Not young flexing girls...

LLSAINT:
where is the out there if not here?

Loolzz the out there is outside nairaland...

Integrator1:
What's good for the goose is good for the gander!! This should be applicable to guys too, peeps like you are often the jealous type who wouldn't appreciate little bit of closeness to their bfs with 'friends' as you mentioned.

Taking a guy as second fiddle will spell doom for your relationship sooner or later. TRUST, communication and understanding makes relationship work.

Your advice for married couple would be to have a male/female friends as the case maybe in case of divorce?

Loolzz ion know of goose and gander...I know of my ladies... Shikenah...

Marriage is a different ball game... My point is to make advanced ladies reach that destination marriage... Cause there are a lot of desperate ladies out there.. Due this same issue..prolonged relationships..unserious spouses..etc...a lady should just get married at the right time...

And I'm advocating for them to help themselves in that light...is that too much to understand?...

kaboninc:
If the first guy in your story had married her, I'm sure you wouldn't have brought this topic up. Secondly, she can't say she hasn't seen the signs that bee bf was not going to marry her. Men are easily predictable and it depends on what you make out of it, either you choose to accept it or not.

Like I said earlier, it's all a risk. If she had 'mingled' as you suggested, don't you think the guy would use that opportunity to break up the relationship using that as an excuse meanwhile his main reason was because he wasn't ready to settle down?

For your two other examples, the same can be said about them.

Please don't go about 'mingling' in a relationship. But you can build strong networks and keep relationships and people should know that there's a boundary that cannot and should not be crossed. That's if you want a serious relationship sha

I'm sure I specifically stated that ...the girl's case was just an example to drive my point...and it doesn't stand as a basis of conclusion for mhe...

Yhure not getting my point at all...and I'm seriously tired of repeating the same thing...

A mature lady would understand my point and totally support it....

This thread was specifically addressed to the ladies... I don't know why I'm getting more reactions from guys...

Nairaland guys i hail una....

kaboninc:
By helping themselves and be wise, they should 'mingle'?

I don't think so.

But if you mean they should build strong networks and keep relationships and yet, still marking out clear boundaries, then that is better.

Of course they should mark clear boundaries.... That's why I clearly stated ....I'm not saying a girl shoulde cheat...

freepop:
Auntie! Envisaging a breakup in a sweet relationship with open communication and mutual understanding is totally stupid, to say the least.

Right over this you say they should keep male friends in case the break up happens...Isn't that some intent and reflection of cheating on yourself, the relationship and the guy?

I need to be sure you're listening or reading yourself on this issue.

While this is a open forum, I suggest that we check our opinions on critical issues such this as not to mislead loads of undiscerning minds.

Honestly ..yhure trying extremely hard to sound reasonable when the rift is obviously the case..

Until yhu put yhurself... Or probably yhur sisters as a case study. ..yhull never get my point..

So yhu should be sensible enough to try to understand or even respect the opinion of others ...even when yhu think otherwise......

Yhur foolishness may be the wisdom of another...and yhur wisdom may be the foolishness of another...

So be guided...

kaboninc:
Life is all about risk.

So you stay with one guy it is a risk because you want to trust him to stay faith and likewise him trusting you to stay faithful. Even after marriage, it is still a risk too because anything can happen

But those who take the risk are those who have the balls to take them. Do you?

It is not good to have this mindset of being in a relationship and wanting to mingle. Yhu end up creating an impression that you can't be trusted or taken serious.

Relationship may not have worked for you. But it sure works for others.

This is not about mhe ...its about securing a future for Ladies... Most ladies guys dump like that are left desperate looking for men...which makes them more preys to other guys... Unless there's divine intervention from above...

I'm not advising girls to cheat...I'm only telling them to help themselves and be wise...

Integrator1:
Advising them not to cheat, at the same time they shouldn't put their egg in one basket!!! What's your point?

So this is applicable to guys too?

Having other guys has friends ...just friends.. Isn't cheating or is it ? ..

I know only for ladies... Haven't made any research on guys..

freepop:
Do you understand the dynamics of focus in any human endeavour? Please do some research on that.

Let me tell you, if you're a smart lady with spiritual discernment, you can preempt a guy's intention in less than 6 months of being friends with him, let alone courting for 4 years (as you outlined). Guys ain't hard to comprehend. Except, your taste, class and pedigree of guys I know ain't what you're speaking of.

What you keep your eyes on, stays right in front of you and expands. You can't have a roving eyes and expect to see something valid and tangible. It is in your quest to play smart and have another guy waiting by the side that you can't see and discern what intentions either guy A or B has.

Perhaps you want to share a more personal experience on how this your expressed advise has worked for you; are you married, after having a side guy while in a courtship?

Forget that focus yhure talking about...lemme tell yhu a brief story to guide my point...true life story..

A Lady was dating this guy since her 200level in school..he was so caring and stuff everyone thought they are the perfect match..I could even swear he would marry her....after dating for 4years..trust me he showed no sign of lack of interest whatsoever.. He called regularly and bought her gifts..and celebrated many birthday parties for her..
To cut long story short ..when she was 28..he called her one day and broke up with her ,saying he's not ready to settle down and he cannot keep on leading her on..she was devastated.... And blah blah...

Same thing happened to another Lady and in less than 6months she got married to someone else because she didn't keep her eggs in one basket... She's happily married now with cute kids...

The other Lady had other well to do men beckoning at her ...but she totally pushed them.away for nothing...

Hope yhu get my point now... The both cases are just examples and I didn't just jump into conclusion because of them..

Mrbllymer:
You are totally confused!! Your write-up/English says alot.

Yhure more confused niggur..

kaboninc:
So by saying she wants to mingle, she's being protective of herself abi?

Yhure not getting my point at all..

IamKashyBaby:


Hahahahahaha..thats the only thing tho..we cant bear any child after 50yrs of age..

Still dreaming to see what my creation looks like

As in ehn ..both my son and daughter will look like mhe .

That's like eating what yhu vomited...

FemiEddy:
But still a risky one tho

Risky how?..

IamKashyBaby:


I will only stop looking for love when i reach 65(retirement period)...

But for now, i am good..

Loolzz

What of menopause sis...

freepop:
Very valid thought.

Some ladies could be funny without their outlook to life; generalising situations despite obvious peculiarities.

I'm currently in a serious relationship with a lady (so I thought), until she started telling me she's still single and wants to mingle. At that point, at just laughed at her mediocrity, lack of trust in herself, myself and the relationship. More importantly, I'm worried about her future, cause such people often end up losing so much for nothing. However, it's a good sign for me to face front and move on with my life.

I repeat because yhu have good intentions towards doesn't change the fact that they're... Guys out there who fancy in wasting girls time ..and when they find out she's almost old they dump her...

So it doesnt hurt for a girl to be protective of herself... Its not about trust ..it's about security yhur future and stuff..

emmyreelz:
that's basically your opinion and thoughts though.. but why are you typing you as yhu n your as yhur etc.. it looks boring..

Is that the cause of yhur problems in this life?...

Clear road ojare..

FemiEddy:
Ooh, now, I understand your point

Perfect..

IamKashyBaby:


Ur such a Bad Girl...

But i think im good for now..besides i am not in hurry to settle down..But if a relationship wont work, too many fishes in the sea..all we have to do is to swim back in the ocean of singleness..

Yhull swim back to the ocean of singleness if yhu have time on yhur side... If not the big fishes will all be gone...and it will only take the grace of God to see yhu through...

FemiEddy:
Madam, if u are in a serious relationship with a serious dude, and u follow dis ur still single pattern, no dude will even take u serious, how will I be in a serious relationship with a lady I intend to marry and she will be portraying still single, doesn't make sense, put all ur egg in one basket and pray to God to have mercy......my opinion

Because yhu may have good intentions towards a lady doesn't mean others will...yhure taking the issue on a one man point of view..yhu won't get my drill that way...

kaboninc:
Lol.

I have a question for either possible answer you could provide.

We're not going to derail joor

Yhu know what...

Yhu just guess the answer to the question yhu earlier asked.. And ask the question yhu have for it..