Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,157,937 members, 7,835,124 topics. Date: Tuesday, 21 May 2024 at 05:11 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Joylander's Profile / Joylander's Posts
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (of 6 pages)
Properties / Re: BE WARNED ; This House Is For Everybody, Not For Anybody. Picture. by joylander: 10:11pm On Jun 13, 2015 |
Politics / Re: Senate President Saraki's Official Potrait ( Photo) by joylander: 10:10pm On Jun 13, 2015 |
Webmasters / Turn Your Wp Blog/site To Mobile Apps With Googleplay And Itunes Appstore by joylander: 9:59pm On Jun 13, 2015 |
Are you not tired of sending tons of BC daily in order to get visitor to your blog/website? Wait no More.... I'm here to turn your blog/site into Mobile App with Google Play Store and Itunes App Store Submission inclusive all for affordable price.... the app will have the same function as Wiziapp function below http://www.wiziapp.com/pricing as those below HTML5 Web App Display your mobile site as a HTML5 Web App Monetize your mobile WebApp using AdSense Ads Keep your desktop theme intact Native Android App Create your own Native Android App Publish your App to the Google play Store Unlimited push notification Native iPhone & iOS Apps Create your own Native iPhone & iPad Apps Publish your App to the Apple AppStore Unlimited push notification iPhone & iPad I will still be online on NL till 12am to answer all your questions |
Literature / Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by joylander: 5:21pm On Jun 01, 2015 |
Ishilove: written by Exislove |
Literature / Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by joylander: 6:35am On Jun 01, 2015 |
CONTINUE The noise of people rushing to early morning mass woke up the two sleepers that were occupying a four bedroom apartment inside the luxurious bus. It was peter that woke up first before James followed suit. At first, they were oblivious of their present environment. ” oboy na where we dey? ” peter asked his friend James. It was obvious that he was still suffering from hangover. ” na house we dey nah! ” James screamed likesomeone that had an encounter with insanity. ” but from my angle of depression, e be like say this place no be house, ” Peter replied moving towards the exit point of the luxurious bus. ” e bi like say you don dey see thing, and i sure say you don high. This na our house for inside our compound. ” James countered. It was when Peter got to the exit and looked outside that he discovered that it was not a fraction of his imagination that was playing tricks on him. The whole surrounding was bright and beautiful, infact all creatures great and small were staring at them. He rushed back into the bus to inform James of his discoveries. He saw James looking into the window like someone that had seen a ghost. That was when it occurred to him that something was amiss. ” guy you dey Unclad! ” James whispered to him. ” even you too! ” Peter replied and bursted into a silent laughter. They quickly searched for their trousers but it was nowhere to be found. Unknown to them After the two hackers made away with their money, A little boy that came out to wee in the wee hour heard snoring from the luxurious bus, and being a mischievous boy, he moved slowly towards the luxurious bus and saw the two adults sleeping undisturbed in a corner inside the bus. He moved quietly and collected their clothes, the one that he could lay hands on. Since it was still the wee hour, the little boy could not locate their pants and singlets that was at the far right. Peter and James searched earnestly for their trousers, but to no avail. They were even lucky that the boy did not make away with their undies, if that had been the case, they would have been so sorry for themselves. Putting on their undies, and before anyone could say jack Robinson, the two friends ran out of the luxurious bus like two wild rabbit looking for their hole. …………… They took a sharp bend that led to their street after running for about forty five minutes before slowing down to catch their breathe and deliberate on their folly. ” oboy you mean sey those babes just carry our money go just like that? ” James spoke after they came to a complete halt under a mango tree that was some few yard from the batcher that they were occupying. ” them even get mind carry our trousers and shirt join am! ” Peter said with hoarse voice. ” I just thank God say them leave our boxers and singlets ” James put in laughing. ” talking about God, which time you go church last? ” Peter asked his friend James. ” me no fit remember! ” James replied scratching his head. ” mehn! Mosquitoes been full for that bus o! ” he added also scratching his hands and feet. ” no be small thing o! ” Peter replied. He too was feeling the impact of the Mosquitoe bite. ” but those girls think say them fit just play us go just like? “he added. ” no mind the mumu them, the only thing wey them gain na the scrafing and the things wey we chop for that bar yesterday, as for the money, na counterfeit money them be that. ” James replied and burst into a wild laughter followed by Peter. ” oboy make we dey go before somebody come see us for this place with this kind of clothes. Na yawa be that oh! ” Peter added and started laughing again. …………… ” nna mehn!, we suppose go church today go thank God for the deliverance wey Im give us today! ” Peter suggested after they’ve taken their bath and have eaten. ” na true talk oh! ” James seconded. ” but which church wey we go come go nah? ” he added. ” we go just waka dey go, any church wey make sense, we go just branch. ” ” na good talk be that. ” James replied. With that they put on their clothes and strolled out of the house. After roaming the street for close to an hour, they saw a sign post which read ” THE SANCTUARY OF PRAISE “. ” very good!, i think this one go make sense! ” James whispered to Peter. ” and fine fine girls go dey this church! ” Peter chuckled. With that they started tracing the exact location of the church. They took their far right following the arrow that was placed at every bend to serve as a pointer for those that were coming to the church for the first time. After turning two more bends they came face to face with the church. ” oboy eh! ” James screamed unconsciously. ” Bloooooooood of Ebuka!!! ” Peter joined in the exclamation. The two friends folded their hands and looked at the church with their mouths wide open. They have never seen a church that was smelling of class like this one before them. The gate of the church was wide open. And from the gate of the church to the church auditorium were two rolls of flowers. There was a small roundabout some meters before the auditorium, and flowers where planted roundabout it too. There was an ” n ” shaped flower that crossed from one side of the gate to the other side. Even the door of the church had a similar ” n ” shaped flower ranging ten meters from the church door. There was a massive car park that can contain nothing less than 500 cars. They move closer to the church door. The door opened on its own which resulted to the two of them running back in fright. ” chei! See american wonder! ” one of them shouted in awe. They composed themselves and approached the door again, this time when the opened on its own they did not run back. They stepped into the auditorium and was more thrilled by the interior than they were at the exterior. They would’ve stood there the whole if not for the timely intervention of one of the church official that tapped them on their shoulder. Actually the lady had been standing in front of them for about a minute but because these two were so lost in the splendor of the environment, they did not notice that someone was standing in front of them, so the lady had to tap them to get their attention. She led them to a seat at the back roll of the church. The Interior of the church was magnificent to say the least. The seats were arranged in rolls like a theatre. The church had a slope like the one in obafemi awolowo university. It was has a white marble wall and the decoration was a simple touch of white and green since it was an independence day. The choir was putting on a white suit and green tie. And were sitting at the left hand side of the church. The ministers were all on a white suit too. All the instruments were positioned close to the choir. The had several instruments. A motif piano and a yamaha cork seven octave piano, a cello, violin, bass guitar, tuning fork, drumsets, trumpets, saxophone etc. The stand was like an orchestra stand. They were distracted by the voice from the walls Before they could figure out what was going on. ” oboy na where this sound dey come from?, because i no dey see any speaker ” Peter called his friend’s attention to his discovery ” will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, wherein have we robbed thee?. In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse, for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And i will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground, neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts… ” James and peter heard the man on the altar saying. ” this must be the man in charge of this church. ” they thought. ” bring out your tithes and offerings, you know that they Which sow sparingly, will reap sparingly and they Which sow bountifully, will also reap bountifully. So package your offerings very well and put on your dancing shoes, choir please give us a danceable song and lets rock to the glory of the LORD ” the man concluded with a smile. These two have not been to church before, they were just passing by when some breeze blew them into the church, but what we don’t know, is the nature of the breeze that blew them into the church. Just like a MIRACLE a lady’s voice was heard in the background and before they could comprehend what was going on, the whole church came alive. The choir was singing ” oh happy day ” and the lead soloists had a soprano voice. Before their very eyes, people were giving both naira and dollar as offering. ” i don die, this girl voice sweet die!, and see how people dey give money like sey this country no hard! ” James whispered to Peter. ” na so i see am o! ” Peter replied. When the offering basket got to them James almost grabbed the basket and run away, the only thing that stopped him was the fact that some people were standing close to the door. ……… ” oboy that church get money! ” Peter screamed on their way back to the house after the service had ended. ” i been no know sey dem fit give person wey come church food to chop, if not, i for no dey waste my time for house. Na for church i for dey take my morning food ” Peter added. ” guy!, no be that one dey my mind, you see the way that money plenty?. If i fit get that money, my problems don solve. ” James replied with a serious look on his face. |
Literature / A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by joylander: 2:48am On Jun 01, 2015 |
” Madam bring more beer make we high! ” Peter screamed on a high pitch, it was obvious that he was getting drunk, and James was by his side with his hands stroking the laps of a light skin hacker that he and james pick at a junction not far from where they were presently sitted. They were many hackers on the street that particular night, but they choosed to go to the junction. According to them, that’s where the best shots were always taken from. They had succeeded in beating down the price to five thousand for the night for the two girls, one of which James took and the other one was left with Peter. After which they left for the bar where they were presently sitted, drinking themselves to stupor. The woman brought four more bottles of beer as requested by peter. The quickly devoured the beer that was placed before them. ” o baby, wetin be name nah?. ” peter asked the girl that was beside him. The girl was a bit darker than the one that James went for, and was also not as pretty as her, but to Peter, she was the prettiest girl on the surface of the earth. He was not to blame, the volume of alcohol that he had consume was working wonders. ” my name no dey important, make we begin dey go house nah, ” the girl replied sacastically. She too was beginning to be influenced by the spirit behind alcohol. ” see o!, this girl dey form hard to get! ” Peter thought aloud. ” no worry, we go soon dey go house, and i go make sure say, i lose all the nut wey dey that your waist. ” Peter replied with a smirk. He was beginning to UnCloth the girl in his imagination. Meanwhile, James did not have that kind of patience in him, as he bent down his head and started to kiss the girl all over. ” girl! you sweet pass sugarcane! ” James shouted aloud, while the girl was fighting to get him off her face. ” Madam!, bring more bottles! ” this time it was James screaming on top of his voice. ………………… Inside the Bar a conversation was on between the owner of the bar and her sales girls, ” Madam , you sure say this people go fit pay for all the drinks wey them dey buy? ” one of the sales girl asked. ” Madam na true talk o!, we never see this kind of face here before! ” another sales girl seconded. ” you people should relax, anything that they want just serve them, they will surely pay. Don’t you people trust me any more, i’m Madam ‘ point and kill ‘ nobody can drink here and not pay. ” she boasted. …………….. ” Madam where the drink nah! ” James shouted from outside. The little meeting inside came to a halt as they rushed to go and attend to them. After everything the bill was brought to them. Everything totalled eighteen thousand naira. They paid without complaining and left the bar, walking towards their destination. The night was far spent, moreover it was a saturday night. They approached their mansion and went to one of the rooms. Without wasting time, they moved into the business of the day, that is scrafing. ………………… Early on sunday morning, one of the girls woke up and and woke the other one in a hurry. They discovered that they were stark Unclad and that they were not in any mansion but inside an abandoned luxurious bus. The first girl saw her pant hanging on one of the window in the bus, while the other one saw hers under one of the seats in the bus. They quietly searched for their clothes and saw them outside the bus in different directions. They quickly and quietly put on their clothes and went inside the bus. They searched the trousers of James and Peter and made away with all the money that were available while the two guys were still sleeping peacefully though they were Unclad. |
Celebrities / Official Divorce Papers Of Saidi Balogun & Fathia (pictures) by joylander: 3:40pm On May 28, 2015 |
After several years of staying apart as husband and wife, estranged Nollywood couple, Saidi and Fathia Balogun are finally divorced. Divorce documents of their marriage as exclusively obtained by E24-7 confirm their marriage dissolution. As reported by the magazine, the marriage dissolution of Saidi and Fathia took effect from January 17, 2014, but the former couple since then kept the news away from their fans. With this, their marriage of six years has come to an end. It was reported by E24-7 magazine that Saidi Balogun filed a petition to dissolve their union and also asked to be given access to their two children from the marriage. Saidi balogun prayer was granted by the court and he has since remarried. It was learnt that he got married to a sister to Oba Saheed Elegunshi, who he was rumoured to have secretly married on the day he premiered his ‘You and I’ movie in Lagos sometimes ago. However, back then, Saidi Balogun denied the marriage rumour to the lady called Funke, the monarch’s sister. Fathia is now known as Fathia Williams. source - http://streetotnaija.com/official-divorce-papers-of-saidi-balogun/
|
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (of 6 pages)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 40 |