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A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story - Literature - Nairaland

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A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by joylander: 2:48am On Jun 01, 2015
” Madam bring more beer make we high! ”
Peter screamed on a high pitch, it was obvious
that he was getting drunk, and James was by
his side with his hands stroking the laps of a
light skin hacker that he and james pick at a
junction not far from where they were presently
sitted.
They were many hackers on the street that
particular night, but they choosed to go to the
junction. According to them, that’s where the
best shots were always taken from.
They had succeeded in beating down the price
to five thousand for the night for the two girls,
one of which James took and the other one was
left with Peter.
After which they left for the bar where they
were presently sitted, drinking themselves to
stupor.
The woman brought four more bottles of beer
as requested by peter. The quickly devoured
the beer that was placed before them.
” o baby, wetin be name nah?. ” peter asked
the girl that was beside him.
The girl was a bit darker than the one that
James went for, and was also not as pretty as
her, but to Peter, she was the prettiest girl on
the surface of the earth. He was not to blame,
the volume of alcohol that he had consume was
working wonders.
” my name no dey important, make we begin
dey go house nah, ” the girl replied sacastically.
She too was beginning to be influenced by the
spirit behind alcohol.
” see o!, this girl dey form hard to get! ” Peter
thought aloud.
” no worry, we go soon dey go house, and i go
make sure say, i lose all the nut wey dey that
your waist. ” Peter replied with a smirk. He was
beginning to UnCloth the girl in his imagination.
Meanwhile, James did not have that kind of
patience in him, as he bent down his head and
started to kiss the girl all over.
” girl! you sweet pass sugarcane! ” James
shouted aloud, while the girl was fighting to get
him off her face.
” Madam!, bring more bottles! ” this time it was
James screaming on top of his voice.
…………………
Inside the Bar a conversation was on between
the owner of the bar and her sales girls,
” Madam , you sure say this people go fit pay
for all the drinks wey them dey buy? ” one of
the sales girl asked.
” Madam na true talk o!, we never see this kind
of face here before! ” another sales girl
seconded.
” you people should relax, anything that they
want just serve them, they will surely pay. Don’t
you people trust me any more, i’m Madam ‘
point and kill ‘ nobody can drink here and not
pay. ” she boasted.
……………..
” Madam where the drink nah! ” James shouted
from outside. The little meeting inside came to
a halt as they rushed to go and attend to them.
After everything the bill was brought to them.
Everything totalled eighteen thousand naira.
They paid without complaining and left the bar,
walking towards their destination.
The night was far spent, moreover it was a
saturday night.
They approached their mansion and went to
one of the rooms. Without wasting time, they
moved into the business of the day, that is
scrafing.
…………………
Early on sunday morning, one of the girls woke
up and and woke the other one in a hurry.
They discovered that they were stark Unclad
and that they were not in any mansion but
inside an abandoned luxurious bus.
The first girl saw her pant hanging on one of
the window in the bus, while the other one saw
hers under one of the seats in the bus.
They quietly searched for their clothes and saw
them outside the bus in different directions.
They quickly and quietly put on their clothes
and went inside the bus. They searched the
trousers of James and Peter and made away
with all the money that were available while the
two guys were still sleeping peacefully though
they were Unclad.
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by Hurklan(m): 5:27am On Jun 01, 2015
nice one...make I holla my other members... but hope say u no go dissapoint us sha.... wey ur mic*********if u hear ur name make sure u say present... hfinest1, eniqurl, tunery004, ritababe, yurme , pinkycutie, cherry brown , danyel09, who else ? make una call other members jare.. I dey go mosque
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by ritababe(f): 5:40am On Jun 01, 2015
Hurklan:
nice one...make I holla my other members... but hope say u no go dissapoint us sha.... wey ur mic*********if u hear ur name make sure u say present..ritababe,, who else ? make una call other members jare.. I dey go mosque

present sir
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by Nobody: 5:51am On Jun 01, 2015
Awwwwweww! Me likey. grin grin grin
This story brings some memories grin

#following

Kudos
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by joylander: 6:35am On Jun 01, 2015
CONTINUE

The noise of people rushing to early morning
mass woke up the two sleepers that were
occupying a four bedroom apartment inside the
luxurious bus.
It was peter that woke up first before James
followed suit. At first, they were oblivious of
their present environment.
” oboy na where we dey? ” peter asked his
friend James. It was obvious that he was still
suffering from hangover.
” na house we dey nah! ” James screamed
likesomeone that had an encounter with
insanity.
” but from my angle of depression, e be like say
this place no be house, ” Peter replied moving
towards the exit point of the luxurious bus.
” e bi like say you don dey see thing, and i sure
say you don high. This na our house for inside
our compound. ” James countered.
It was when Peter got to the exit and looked
outside that he discovered that it was not a
fraction of his imagination that was playing
tricks on him.
The whole surrounding was bright and
beautiful, infact all creatures great and small
were staring at them.
He rushed back into the bus to inform James of
his discoveries. He saw James looking into the
window like someone that had seen a ghost.
That was when it occurred to him that
something was amiss.
” guy you dey Unclad! ” James whispered to
him.
” even you too! ” Peter replied and bursted into
a silent laughter.
They quickly searched for their trousers but it
was nowhere to be found.
Unknown to them After the two hackers made
away with their money, A little boy that came
out to wee in the wee hour heard snoring from
the luxurious bus, and being a mischievous
boy, he moved slowly towards the luxurious bus
and saw the two adults sleeping undisturbed in
a corner inside the bus.
He moved quietly and collected their clothes,
the one that he could lay hands on. Since it was
still the wee hour, the little boy could not locate
their pants and singlets that was at the far
right.
Peter and James searched earnestly for their
trousers, but to no avail. They were even lucky
that the boy did not make away with their
undies, if that had been the case, they would
have been so sorry for themselves.
Putting on their undies, and before anyone
could say jack Robinson, the two friends ran out
of the luxurious bus like two wild rabbit looking
for their hole.
……………
They took a sharp bend that led to their street
after running for about forty five minutes before
slowing down to catch their breathe and
deliberate on their folly.
” oboy you mean sey those babes just carry our
money go just like that? ” James spoke after
they came to a complete halt under a mango
tree that was some few yard from the batcher
that they were occupying.
” them even get mind carry our trousers and
shirt join am! ” Peter said with hoarse voice.
” I just thank God say them leave our boxers
and singlets ” James put in laughing.
” talking about God, which time you go church
last? ” Peter asked his friend James.
” me no fit remember! ” James replied
scratching his head. ” mehn! Mosquitoes been
full for that bus o! ” he added also scratching
his hands and feet.
” no be small thing o! ” Peter replied. He too
was feeling the impact of the Mosquitoe bite.
” but those girls think say them fit just play us
go just like? “he added.
” no mind the mumu them, the only thing wey
them gain na the scrafing and the things wey
we chop for that bar yesterday, as for the
money, na counterfeit money them be that. ”
James replied and burst into a wild laughter
followed by Peter.
” oboy make we dey go before somebody come
see us for this place with this kind of clothes. Na
yawa be that oh! ” Peter added and started
laughing again.
……………
” nna mehn!, we suppose go church today go
thank God for the deliverance wey Im give us
today! ” Peter suggested after they’ve taken
their bath and have eaten.
” na true talk oh! ” James seconded. ” but
which church wey we go come go nah? ” he
added.
” we go just waka dey go, any church wey
make sense, we go just branch. ”
” na good talk be that. ” James replied. With
that they put on their clothes and strolled out
of the house.
After roaming the street for close to an hour,
they saw a sign post which read ” THE
SANCTUARY OF PRAISE “.
” very good!, i think this one go make sense! ”
James whispered to Peter.
” and fine fine girls go dey this church! ” Peter
chuckled.
With that they started tracing the exact
location of the church.
They took their far right following the arrow that
was placed at every bend to serve as a pointer
for those that were coming to the church for
the first time.
After turning two more bends they came face
to face with the church.
” oboy eh! ” James screamed unconsciously.
” Bloooooooood of Ebuka!!! ” Peter joined in the
exclamation. The two friends folded their hands
and looked at the church with their mouths
wide open. They have never seen a church that
was smelling of class like this one before them.
The gate of the church was wide open. And
from the gate of the church to the church
auditorium were two rolls of flowers. There was
a small roundabout some meters before the
auditorium, and flowers where planted
roundabout it too. There was an ” n ” shaped
flower that crossed from one side of the gate to
the other side. Even the door of the church had
a similar ” n ” shaped flower ranging ten meters
from the church door. There was a massive car
park that can contain nothing less than 500
cars.
They move closer to the church door. The door
opened on its own which resulted to the two of
them running back in fright. ” chei! See
american wonder! ” one of them shouted in
awe.
They composed themselves and approached
the door again, this time when the opened on
its own they did not run back. They stepped
into the auditorium and was more thrilled by
the interior than they were at the exterior.
They would’ve stood there the whole if not for
the timely intervention of one of the church
official that tapped them on their shoulder.
Actually the lady had been standing in front of
them for about a minute but because these two
were so lost in the splendor of the environment,
they did not notice that someone was standing
in front of them, so the lady had to tap them to
get their attention.
She led them to a seat at the back roll of the
church.
The Interior of the church was magnificent to
say the least. The seats were arranged in rolls
like a theatre. The church had a slope like the
one in obafemi awolowo university. It was has a
white marble wall and the decoration was a
simple touch of white and green since it was an
independence day. The choir was putting on a
white suit and green tie. And were sitting at the
left hand side of the church. The ministers were
all on a white suit too.
All the instruments were positioned close to the
choir. The had several instruments. A motif
piano and a yamaha cork seven octave piano, a
cello, violin, bass guitar, tuning fork, drumsets,
trumpets, saxophone etc. The stand was like an
orchestra stand.
They were distracted by the voice from the
walls Before they could figure out what was
going on. ” oboy na where this sound dey come
from?, because i no dey see any speaker ” Peter
called his friend’s attention to his discovery
” will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me.
But ye say, wherein have we robbed thee?. In
tithes and offerings.
Ye are cursed with a curse, for ye have robbed
me, even this whole nation.
Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that
there may be meat in mine house, and prove
me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I
will not open you the windows of heaven, and
pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be
room enough to receive it.
And i will rebuke the devourer for your sakes,
and he shall not destroy the fruits of your
ground, neither shall your vine cast her fruit
before the time in the field, saith the LORD of
hosts… ”
James and peter heard the man on the altar
saying.
” this must be the man in charge of this
church. ” they thought.
” bring out your tithes and offerings, you know
that they Which sow sparingly, will reap
sparingly and they Which sow bountifully, will
also reap bountifully. So package your offerings
very well and put on your dancing shoes, choir
please give us a danceable song and lets rock
to the glory of the LORD ” the man concluded
with a smile.
These two have not been to church before, they
were just passing by when some breeze blew
them into the church, but what we don’t know,
is the nature of the breeze that blew them into
the church.
Just like a MIRACLE a lady’s voice was heard in
the background and before they could
comprehend what was going on, the whole
church came alive.
The choir was singing ” oh happy day ” and the
lead soloists had a soprano voice.
Before their very eyes, people were giving both
naira and dollar as offering.
” i don die, this girl voice sweet die!, and see
how people dey give money like sey this
country no hard! ” James whispered to Peter.
” na so i see am o! ” Peter replied.
When the offering basket got to them James
almost grabbed the basket and run away, the
only thing that stopped him was the fact that
some people were standing close to the door.
………
” oboy that church get money! ” Peter
screamed on their way back to the house after
the service had ended.
” i been no know sey dem fit give person wey
come church food to chop, if not, i for no dey
waste my time for house. Na for church i for
dey take my morning food ” Peter added.
” guy!, no be that one dey my mind, you see
the way that money plenty?. If i fit get that
money, my problems don solve. ” James replied
with a serious look on his face.
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by yurme(m): 6:45am On Jun 01, 2015
Hurklan:
nice one...make I holla my other members... but hope say u no go dissapoint us sha.... wey ur mic*********if u hear ur name make sure u say present... hfinest1, eniqurl, tunery004, ritababe, yurme , pinkycutie, cherry brown , danyel09, who else ? make una call other members jare.. I dey go mosque
presnt sire
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by ademoladeji(m): 7:29am On Jun 01, 2015
Cherrybrown


Hawlahscho


Tunery004


Pinkycute


Pastoraji


____----____
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by PastorAji(m): 8:59am On Jun 01, 2015
A tif in d church.....make I lock-up my office quick-quick

Security, as from today be sitting in front of my office with that GPM gun grin


Present Sire
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by pinkycute(f): 11:17am On Jun 01, 2015
Thanks for the invite smiley

I love the story wink

ademoladeji:

Cherrybrown


Hawlahscho


Tunery004


Pinkycute


Pastoraji


____----____

1 Like

Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by tunery004(m): 11:24am On Jun 01, 2015
ademoladeji:

Cherrybrown


Hawlahscho


Tunery004


Pinkycute


Pastoraji


____----____
Have read this story somwhere on this site, its kinda old, but its a good story, its plot is like one black american film that featured Ice cube
Op, it will be nice to credit the real writer.

1 Like

Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by Ishilove: 1:17pm On Jun 01, 2015
joylander, are you the original writer of this story?
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by joylander: 5:21pm On Jun 01, 2015
Ishilove:
joylander, are you the original writer of this story?

written by Exislove
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by Ishilove: 6:13pm On Jun 01, 2015
joylander:


written by Exislove
In that case please edit your first post and clearly state that you aren't the original writer of this story, and also name the writer. In addition, add a source link to the original writer's story.
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by Eniqurl(f): 7:42pm On Jun 01, 2015
Hurklan:
nice one...make I holla my other members... but hope say u no go dissapoint us sha.... wey ur mic*********if u hear ur name make sure u say present... hfinest1, eniqurl, tunery004, ritababe, yurme , pinkycutie, cherry brown , danyel09, who else ? make una call other members jare.. I dey go mosque
Thanks fr d invite
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by hfinest1(m): 7:54pm On Jun 01, 2015
*walks in with alomo in one hand and weed in the other n shouts untop of my voice* hurklan, I see u o... thanks for the invite *everybody looks back at me while I shout again* wetin una dey look? una neva see fine boy before? *looks for eniqurl n sees her sitting beside liljboy... pushes liljboy from the seat with my nyash* hey baby, watsup? *kiss her cheek*

in the end, liljboy was looking for where to sit, so he went and sat beside ritababe and said 'hi pretty' while smilling like mumu... ritababe then replies him 'who b u? ogbeni find ur own seat o... see me see wahala, see dis small boy come here dey tell me hi pretty, chai! obebe, you don suffer' she claps her hand and push liljboy off the seat and shouts at him'comot for hia jare, you no know your mate again abi? mtchewww'
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by Hurklan(m): 9:08pm On Jun 01, 2015
Ishilove:

In that case please edit your first post and clearly state that you aren't the original writer of this story, and also name the writer. In addition, add a source link to the original writer's story.
bad man tinz
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by Hawlahscho(m): 12:18am On Jun 02, 2015
tunery004:

Have read this story somwhere on this site, its kinda old, but its a good story, its plot is like one black american film that featured Ice cube
Op, it will be nice to credit the real writer.


You should av noticed that it's copy and paste job.
Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by Nawtiblayse(m): 6:15pm On Jun 02, 2015
PastorAji:
A tif in d church.....make I lock-up my office quick-quick

Security, as from today be sitting in front of my office with that GPM gun grin


Present Sire

Lol...make them security tiqht oh

1 Like

Re: A Thief In The Church - Part 1 18+ Story by liljboy(m): 8:49am On Jun 03, 2015
hfinest1:
*walks in with alomo in one hand and weed in the other n shouts untop of my voice* hurklan, I see u o... thanks for the invite *everybody looks back at me while I shout again* wetin una dey look? una neva see fine boy before? *looks for eniqurl n sees her sitting beside liljboy... pushes liljboy from the seat with my nyash* hey baby, watsup? *kiss her cheek*

in the end, liljboy was looking for where to sit, so he went and sat beside ritababe and said 'hi pretty' while smilling like mumu... ritababe then replies him 'who b u? ogbeni find ur own seat o... see me see wahala, see dis small boy come here dey tell me hi pretty, chai! obebe, you don suffer' she claps her hand and push liljboy off the seat and shouts at him'comot for hia jare, you no know your mate again abi? mtchewww'

(1) (Reply)

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