₦airaland Forum

Masinga930:
I don't have enough money I will give each person 2000 naira don't forget to drop you account number
Click on the link below to subscribe to my YouTube channel and win

Link
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCeJe_hFks2LsQLduI1xKn4Q

Oga i neva see any money na..i go unsubscribe o

Done,
2049295133
Uba

Seundrizzy:
her husband no get family atall or is he an immigrant in naija...sit that man down and tell him to relocated to his family that is if he gat any...for your sister Oga you are man act like one it either you don't drink or smoked because if you do...moral high go make you talk sense to your sister she has taken you for granted.. I prayed you no married girl wey go run away with your saving because you too cold

Yes too cold..thats why i am being taken for granted

crackland:
He has done enough, more than enough.

And to think the ingrate is still mouthing off when she should be showing appreciation to him every morning, is utterly despicable of her.

Where she stays should not be his problem even if he has the spare resources laying around.

You are really speaking my mind.thanks ,God bless u

boldx:
Young man,

I understand how you feel. Please be careful the way you handle your sister or else your innocent fiancée will be on the receiving end. I am wondering why they stay in a 3 bedroom if they cannot plan their life. Who are they trying to impress?

Erratic siblings can bring down an entire family. Your sister should split up her load and take to other people's house. The best decision is to discuss with your brother in law about the load. Please don't hide your feelings. Just promise him you will help him out when your business takes shape again even if you can't really go all the way to help so that he can find a way to sort his load out.

You need to be OK psychologically for your business to move forward.

Thanks

Sixfeetbelle:
You're right about that but if she could move in with the parents, why hasn't she? Why is her load in his place? Why is everything being dumped on him when the parents are there? I really don't think the parents are taking a stand on this issue or have the capacity to help out and are just waiting for him, as a man, to take a stand.

He either settles them or gives them the boot and mean it too.

My parents are just like the average Nigeria parent..I sent my sister some money to keep for them in any case if they need some money..i sent her more than 350k just to keep for them as an emergency.She and her husband spent all the money.So my parents are not financially fits to help them,and me my business just started getting better..
I am not financially fit too

Shinny1:
Is well...you will soon get over it.. just start your planning now

Thanks alot

Shinny1:
Op helping your family isn't bad but when is dragging you back please cut the access
you can't raise above your present state.. cos for you to help them first you must establish yourself if not you remain in the same mess with them and never achieve what you desire
The only solution is for you to build yourself first...a blind man can't led another blind person so you need to be financially stable before giving them the kind of help they want if not ..in the process of you helping you might end up struggling so be wise

I really apreciate this your advice..it really gives me relief

Pootle:
At your age now you be ready to take some drastic decision, whether it favorable to whomever or not. call ur sis husband and explain to him you wanna start ur own life soonest and give him a considerable time frame to evacuate him stuffs.

Thanks alot

Sixfeetbelle:
I understand. Just know that when you're able to do anything for them, make it clear to her and everyone in your family that this is the last time. You need to take a stand and abide by it before people will start taking you serious.

Good luck

Thanks alot

frozen70:
Don't allow other people's sluggishness slow your speed

They have arrived and cat go unless you leave them their and pack out, if they can't pay the rent, the landlord will chase them out

You have to move on, you are too soft to plan, you think your woman accepts anything you say,
No ❗❗
Time will come when she will react and by that time you too will understand that you have been used

Move out and tell them thst you have gotten a place to stay that you need your privacy

If you think you can't do that, then get a room and pack their things there, carry them to the place and show then their new apartment

If you keep allowing them, you will end up paying their school fees

You have to take the bold step.
As for your parents, let them talk and beg you, don't argue with them and don't say yes or no, say you have heard, just ignore them and move on

By the time they discover that you are not a push over, they will free you

I really appreciate this,made a lot of sense..thanks alot.God will bless you

Sixfeetbelle:
You may find my advise somewhat uncomfortable, but if you pick a thing or two from it, then I'm glad I could help.

Can you comfortably rent a self contained/two bedroom for your sister for a year? If so, call your sister and rent one for her, so that their load can leave your place. Make sure the house is in another state so they can minimise communication with you. After that, call a family meeting with your parents and her in attendance. Tell them the paid rent is all you have capability for and once it expires, you won't give them any kobo ever again. Insist she find something doing within that time frame or consider being blacklisted by you forever; more like giving her an ultimatum. You need to make your stand clear for people to respect your opinion. That's how my brother behaves.

Why I advised the rent is so that it won't be as if you abandoned your family at the hour of their need. And with them gone, you and your fiancée can now focus on each other.

For now,i can"t afford the rent.But with time i can still do that for them.

If i am to do that i will need some time,but not now presently but i need to create a space for my integrity

Greatzeus:
She lives in a 3 bedroom apartment but no steady source of income,the person who gives her money lives in a room and parlor
What is wrong with Nigerians? Who are you trying to impress? Why not cut your coat according to your size? If they live in a self contain I am sure they won't be this broke.

Very true

ToyinDipo:
Blessed are they who come to NL for advice

Yes,thanks

MummyIMadeIt:
Your monicker isn't even helping matters.

Since it's just for test, then you should know all test have their elastic limit, it's either you cut them off or you let them be.

Its a new account,since i feel the husband might be on this forum...Thanks alot..u dont how much everybody's contribution,including yours have made feel..i feel so relaxed and better now..thanks alot.

ibkayee:
Lean on me no be press me die, give some people an inch and they will take the entire state.

Your sister is a huge financial and mental burden, stop supporting her...I want to suggest the possibility of even cutting her off but that's up to you to decide.

I see nothing wrong with helping out where possible, but they are not supposed to be your responsibility. What does she do for a living? What's her husband been doing in all of this?

Your fiance is either really good at biting her tongue or really patient, you should be focusing on your own goals, particularly your up-coming marriage.

What the heck is the husband doing? Lol

Same questions i have been asking my self.even if it is face me and face u..he should get 1..
I just dont know if he doesnt evej used to think..

Thank u alot,i really aprc8 this..God will give you peace of mind

Donald3d:


Family, the Achilles heel of most people.

As I always say, don't start what you can't finish.

You need to stop being relaxed with this your line :



I am sorry but if you keep going at this pace, one day your wife to be, would wake up and tell you she is no longer interested.

Not because she doesn't love you, but because she would think and imagine this happening when she gets married to you.

This is the time to think of yourself too, not just for your partner, but for yourself.

It would hurt your sister, and your parents, but you need to move forward. You can't do that effectively if you keep draining yourself for them.

Build yourself, and when you get comfortable enough, you can help.
Because if you keep giving away almost all you have you would remain on the same spot. Its bad for you, and also bad for the people you think you are helping.

I know hard times and life happens to people and you should help and sacrifice for family when you can, but when it becomes a constant occurrence, you would not move forward, because you are draining yourself.

Let's use a drum and a bucket as an example. The drum is under a tap and you keep using the bucket to scoop from the drum to fill a leaking tank, without stopping, it would take you a long time to fill your drum and you may never fill it until you do what is right .

So what should you do ? Stop scooping water from your drum allow it to fill up ! , help mend the tank, and you might not even need to give water anymore to fill the tank.

Interpretation ?
Sit your sister and if possible her husband down and talk to them, make them understand the effect of their demands on you and your life, say it as politely as possible.

Ask them what their plans for revenue generation or job is , support them financially if you can to sponsor their revenue generation method, and make it clear that, in a long time, that's the last they would get from you, support them with prayers too.
Give them some time to stabilize so they can pack their stuff, and give them a time frame and be strict with it, don't let emotions move you.(This should mend the tank)
If they have no plans, give them ideas on what to do to generate funds for themselves. If they still don't take it seriously, then its not your fault, you have tried your best.

Now focus fully on yourself, build your business, build your relationship, GROW , (you are filling your drum without taking anything out of it)

Just be ready, because they would blame your partner for all your actions and tell you that you have changed .But keep reminding them that its your decision and you also need to find your feet and build your foundation. If you use all your resources to take care of them, who would take care of you ?

Its a hard decision to take, but you have to take it, you and even the people you are trying to please would enjoy it later, when you start "balling", because you invested in yourself !. You think the people who say its not easy to be a man were just talking ? Its the greatest and toughest part of being a man. DECISIONS. Once you conquer it effectively and handle it with wisdom, you can handle anything . Welcome to manhood !

Nigerian families need to understand that just because you are blood relations with someone doesn't mean you should drain them.
The people you are draining have a life too, they have needs, they have goals to achieve, sometimes they get broke too just to see you happy.
If you ask for help and they give you fine !, if they don't , don't make them feel guilty for it, they don't owe you anything !.

Wow,God will really bless u for this insights.
I am so happy for this,You have really made my day.

SageMK:
The thing with people is, when you give them an inch, they'll take up a mile. Bro you've to make it clear and set up boundaries or you'll soon marry your sister and her husband. Cut off support.

Thanks alot

Olarewaju89:
Her husband na mumu man. Why are dey disturbing your peace na... They should come and carry their loads in other for you to plan your life.

ThankYou God will bless u.U r really speaking my mind

Amanee:
Stop being such a crybaby and cut that parasite off

Thanks

kingmurainah:
Y

Please read,i need your advice please

Please i would like to take some minutes from your busy schedule to explain to you all i really have to say.

I know this section is filled with married men and women.You might have come across this issue before or about to,i really need a very good advice...I am very sorry,this will be lenghty.

My current age 30 years old man,left my parent's house when i was 24.I currently live alone but i have a fiance about to get married soon.

The issue on ground is about my family,I have a younger sister.She got married last 3years..and moved into a new apartment with her husband.
Ever since she got married have not been having peace due to the financial state of her husband.I really don't know what happened all she told me was it was this and that..

I have sent hundreds of thousands for her to keep for my parent,Her and her husband spent the whole money without proper documentation.

Last 2 years,she gave birth and one way or the other i and my parent cater for all the needs..she had to bring the baby to my place for about a month since they believe the house was evil..This i never believed but i accepted in good fate.

Sometimes,she would just wake up one morning and tell her husband she is coming to my place?for what?
This kept on happening ,until last year.Their landlord asked them to move out of the house.I am managing a room and parlour self,and just planning to buy some little things just to prepare me for marriage..They were living in 3 bedroom flat.Immediately,the landlord asked them to leave,all she could think of was to bring all their 3 bedroom loads to my place..I rejected that but my parent knew about all this right from when they were spending all the money i sent to her to keep for them..so i can be free..

My parent intefered that i should please accept all the loads..the loads was too much..i collected it all since last year june,they told me it will just be for 1 month.

All my plans were now on hold,i am not progressing in my life as my house have been turned into store,i still have the loads in my house as i am typing this.
I explained all to my partner,she would always accept what i do.She doesnt argue anything with me.

My business was not improving since the very day i accepted all the loads,my business just turned upside down..

Last year september,she picked a fight with me because i refuse to allow her stay with me..even when i still can't breath with the loads here..
She called me all sort of names,Said i am proud because i have a sef contain and many abusive worda at me.

December last year my business started getting better but couldnt pay my rent as we speak.

Mum pleaded for us to settle last month,I told mum..have forgiven her but i need time to just forget all the insultives words she used at me..

The problem i am having is she is just too selfish,why should it be her alone?and she havent learnt that i love my privacy so much
And what if i am married is that the way she will be disturbing my peace up and down.
The annoying part is my parent are in side of her that i should allow her stay..after all the insults have recieved from her..

why should it be me?i don't have my life anymore
I just feel like taking just one bag and leave they should not even have my contacts anymore..this i told my mum.

I am tired,just tired.This night i was able to say enough words to my parent because i was so annoyed.
They might end up saying it was my patner's decision in which it was mine..i just love my privacy.
Please,Those who are my elders in this please help me..I am so hurt.

Mandelus:
Propose marriage to her, tell her you would love to marry her as a v. (Ur first bae oh oo bro, because the second who is v will never be faithful to you due to the fact that she is pushing her self on you knowing the facts that you are in a relationship and if she loves you now what if she meets someone more attractive, wealthy ) follow your mind finally

Thanks alot for dz

JohnnyPalmer:
Sense will not kill you
Can't be said any better

Hnmm

ubunja:
it's your job as a girl to warn each other about being deflowered outside marriage. It's not my job. My job is to teach men how to fvck women. Periodt.

Do your job. No one will do it for you. Don't be lazy.

Very true

ikh777:
your case is so funny, its like saying someone who only attended school but never studied deep for WAEC claiming that they have trust issues for the exam.

YOU JUMPED BASED ON FEELINGS AND ERECTION BRO.... own it. own your mistake and go sit your arse down and attend seminars, conferences on relationship and dating, get married mentors to guide you else this stuff will MESS YOU UP in ways you will never expect

Okay .m not based on erection o..m a very decent n well to do man...but 2 ladies vmessed up my brian bfre..and thats neva going yo hapn again..once bitten twice shy

Adgideon:
by ur words she is too good to be look down on, that's where confusion comes in (but not like ur main babe) ofcourse no one knows 2mrro it might be her or ur main babe that is ordained 4 u, or even some1 else. Guy I myself am confused on what to tell u, if you really love ur girl put ur foot down and tell d 2nd girl to go, tell her off, in short do more investigating on both of them and make ur choice, as I said earlier it can make or destroy you, but 4 me hold on to ur girl

Thanks alot

Clinghton:
I think you should be the one advising yourself

How na?

Petyprincess:
Just imagine the stupid advice guys are giving him on first page Someone was even advising him to deflower both ladies like seriously? I know this story is fake so i will just keep cool nd see how it will end!

I swear down,it is not..Check my profile,u will notice i created this page today to ask dz question..i cant use my main account o..make i no go cast my sef..
But God sees it all..its true ..all v written here is notin but d truth

Adgideon:
then go for your first love if u genuinely love and trust her Xpress your love and fears as she leaves . For d other lady does she know about ur girl if yes then she is a destroyer well you know them both, so decide but remember whatever you decide may either make you or destroy you, the choice is urs

I really do love my first babe..
D 2nd one knows abt her very well..infact,most time when ever i ban her from calling or textin me..she still does..but in life,we just cant keep pushing people away from ourselve..we have to do it with brain..d 2nd babe kept sayin d more she tries to get over it,it keeps coming back..she might just need some1 to talk to or make her hapi..maybe she doesnt know wat she really want..

And i am tired of pushing her away,honestly..who knows tomao...she is too good to be look down on..u know wat i mean..but not like my main babe sha..

ikh777:
can you imagine your epic error

SO AFTER PRACTICING WITH SEVERAL LADIES, when you now marry, how in da hell will you be able to stick with one.


STOP LIVING A LIE MEHN... just stop.

there is a reason why people say NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE... because it does something altering to the brain.... you begin to imagine how sweet other ladies will be UNTIL the other ladies may even be your daughter or her friends.



STOP MAKING DESTINY ALTERING DECISIONS BASED ON ERECTIONS OF TODAY. grow up

Have trusted too much in d past and was messed up..

SweetCunt97:
Guy do not through away diamond for a shiny stone. Remember all the hoes and slut around were once virgins.. You can sleep with this yiur new virgin and unleash d dragon... Toh me don yarn my own

I am not leaving my main babe..i just want to be sure ,she wont misbehave after she start her nysc..so jut askin if i could consider d 2nd virgin too so as to avoid stories that touch