Young man, i can see that some peoples here are trying to blame you but i advice you to be courageous and feed yourself with God's word because God is your real father since your soul and destiny are in HIS hands. Dont loose hope though i know its difficult to dwell in this situation. I have a similar problem but at the end i realized that God has a great package for me. In fact that your dad will kneel down in front of you with tears asking you for mercy in the nearest future. Dont blame yourself for this condition because i know what it feels like since i have encountered the same.