Mynd_44:
Dump the girl jorh. She did not regret it and you are still considering her sorry?
Or perhaps there is more to this than we are seeing. OP please give us the real gist

Dump her just like that ?
She go celebrate oooo.
That's what she wanted and you want to give it to her on a platter of gold.
If U do me, I do U, man no go vess (P square)
Before U dump her, Bleep her sister, friend or a babe she knows and let her find out.
Tell her it's for political reasons and continue until she realizes exactly how it feels.
Nonsense !!!!!!!

charlsecy4: Before I begin, let me say that the girl failed hopelessly when she said she has "repaid" him by giving him sex "anytime and anywhere." I wonder where women got this silly idea that when it comes to sex, they do the "giving," while the man does the "enjoying."


First, it must be noted that marriage is not a reward system. You don't marry a person simply because they have helped you, now or in the past. There is nothing wrong with the man wanting to marry a girl he has trained, if he loves her. Equally, there is nothing wrong with the girl not wanting to marry a man that has helped her, if she thinks she doesn't love him. It is because some ill-advised people tend to see marriage as a payment system that problems usually arise. The girl feels she is "owing" the man marriage, but doesn't want to, or can't "pay" him. The man probably also feel that the girl is "his own," since he has trained her.

My advice is that they shouldn't go ahead with the marriage. A real marriage is founded on mutual desire, love and tolerance. The girl has to humbly explain to the man that she can't go ahead to marry him. Definitely, this is where the trouble lies. The girl asked "How best can I tell him that he is not my type without hurting his feelings?" Well, there is no way she won't "hurt his feelings" if she tells him she can't continue, but she must tell him.

She should invite him over in the open, maybe in an eatery, sit him down, and tell him she can't continue with the relationship. She should tell him that she doesn't love him enough to want to marry him. She should separate herself from the man physically. If the man is discerning enough, he should understand you can't pressure someone into marriage and expect to have a happy married life.

Marriages based on any of these below-mentioned elements are failure-bound:

He or she loves you.
Because of a pregnancy.
Because the person helped you in the past.
Out of fear that no one else will want to marry you.
Because all your friends are married.
For immigration purposes.
You are tired of being single.
You want to be free from parents.
You don't want people gossiping about the two of you living together.
To be intimate.
To ease loneliness.
To be happy.
To show you are an adult.
To save or help someone.
Because you want a baby.
For money.
You've always wanted a fancy wedding.
You think you are running out of time to get married.

Instead, marry for these reasons:

You are in love with one another.
A desire to share your life with another.
To have a lifetime companion.
Realistic expectations.
Willingness to help one another fulfill their own needs and dreams.
Willingness to tolerate each other's weaknesses.

And never neglect prayer and work in the success of a marriage.

Good Marriage counselling.
But,in your analysis U forgot how the man may react. First of all, pple have called him a Mugu for not looking into the future. He never imagined that a girl he trained to university level will no longer want him. When, she takes your advice, the Mugu will not think about the consequences before he overruns her with his truck. It is suicide mission. He no go gree. As the girl is seeking advice here (on the internet), the guy will seek advice for his colleagues... (Agberos,truckdrivers, Igbo smokers, etc)