In what promises to be the biggest White House scandal
since intern MouthAction, President Barack Obama’s daughter,
16-year-old Malia, has confirmed that she is pregnant.


Sources say Malia is now in her second trimester. Mother
and First Lady, Michelle Obama, says that although she will
be a grandmother much younger than she planned, teen
pregnancy runs in the family.
“On her father’s side of course. My mother-in-law had


Barack when she was 18, so I see where Malia gets it from.
I’m just so excited to decorate the nursery. The White
House hasn’t seen a baby since oh, 1884 or so.”


For now, Malia is staying hush-hush about the father’s
identity, but one thing she would say is that he is white. “My
mom always hoped I would get with a nice mixed-race man
like dad, but love is so colorblind. Mom was probably right
though. The dad already left me for some tramp. And of
course, like all white men, my baby-daddy won’t want to pay
his child support. I already told him, ‘You want to keep your
license so you can drive that bleach-blond tramp around in
your little Jaguar, right? Better step up.’”


Despite her future motherhood, Malia is still considering
her college options. “It’s not like Stanford or Berkeley are
going to, like, turn me down for being a teen mother. Hello,

I’m the president’s daughter. This doesn’t ruin my plans for
a future at all. I can probably get a book deal out of this in a
few years. MTV already offered to give me my own show,
White House Baby-Momma-Drama or something stupidly
titled like that.

I was like, no way – that’s so white trash.”
President Obama says he is being supportive of his
daughter, despite being as outraged as any father would be

if his young daughter announced an unexpected
pregnancy. “We’re all very relieved this little blessing
happened, and thankfully in my second term.” When asked
about his daughter’s ex-boyfriend, he replied, “He’s just
lucky I didn’t have him erased. Don’t mess with the

Commander-in-Chief, homeboy. Every heard of the Secret
Service? Regardless, we’re sure he’ll come around.”



www.earlygist.com/2014/12/06/us-president-obamas-16-year-old-daughter-malia-confirmed-pregnant/

Thirty-year-old first class graduate of Economics from the
Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria, Moses Murtala Aminu was
shot dead by a constable with the Nigeria Police. Moses had
on Sunday, left his No. 67 Ahmadu Ahidjo Street, Narayi
High Cost family residence for a party in Barnawa, Kaduna
State.
According to his friend and eyewitness, the police constable
who was identified as Alex Okpe was beating up Aminu’s
girlfriend outside the party venue when he tried to intervene.
At that point, the constable got angry, reached for his jeans
trousers, brought out his gun and fired, killing Aminu on the
spot. The constable also shot in the air as he escaped on his
motorcycle.
The killer policeman has been tracked down and arrested by
officers from the Barnawa Police Division. The incident has
also been confirmed by Femi Adenaike, the Kaduna State
Commissioner of Police and he said that it was true Alex
Okpe was arrested and he confessed to the killing on
interrogation. He said that Okpe claimed that he fired in ‘self-
defence’ when Moses and his friends were trying to fight him
over his girlfriend. According to the Police, Okpe was not
even sent to Barnawa as at that time and he will be tried and
dismissed if found guilty.
“The suspect is in the cell and we have commenced
investigation. And if he is found guilty, we will give him an
in-house trial and summary dismissal so that he can face the
law for homicide,” the police boss said.


www.earlygist.com/2014/11/27/policeman-kills-first-class-graduate-economics-girlfriend/

How do I tell him 2 jump out of d bus?

Pls kindly judge this matter… I was in a bus, chatting with
my friend on what’sapp and suddenly discovered that the
man sitting beside me was reading my conversation. Since I
did not want to embarrass the man, so l decided to change the
topic “Abeg oga, please tell Kabiru Sokoto or Abu Qaqa that I
only took two of the bombs we just manufactured for this
operation. Let them know as well that I may find it difficult to
get to the target place before the bombs explode because
there is terrible traffic jam now but nevertheless, I am sure
casualty figure will be high since we are 12 in our bus and all
the vehicles in the traffic will be affected too. We have less
than 3 minutes for the bomb to go off bye- bye and take care
of my parents and siblings as agreed. The Man, without
allowing the bus to stop quickly opened the bus window and
jumped out and eventually died, pls who killed him?..
I or Amebo?


www.earlygist.com/2014/11/26/joke-day-read-funny-story-just-laughs/

Nollywood producer Fidelis Duker shared how
three of his dogs killed two Cobras in one month inside his
compound. Don't know which part of Lagos he lives in, but
if two Cobras visit in just a month, isn't that a dangerous
place to live? He explained to his followers that the land
next to his house is undeveloped..so that's where the
snakes are coming from. He shared photos on his Facebook
page.


www.earlygist.com/2014/11/26/nollywood-producer-fidelis-duker-tells-dogs-killed-2-cobras-compound