₦airaland Forum

ollyboy900:
Hoooo mheen, everything you said is true bro. If the mother inlaw wants her daughters out of wedlock, who am i to stick to the marriage, knowing fully that it's a battle i can't win.
Sometimes being a good man is not enough, some elements of luck dey inside this marriage stuff. For now, my life and peace of mind matters than pleasing the society and old on to a bad marriage.
And Thanks you for wishing my boys Happy Birthday, God bless you.

There's nothing as painful as being in a marriage and still feel lonely. I'm sorry for everything you went through, I cringed reading your story cos I don't think I have that kind of energy, I would have long abandoned the marriage and ran. I have decided that in this short life of ours, one thing I cannot allow anyone tamper with is MY " PEACE of MIND" cos a lack of it can make a man age quicker or lose himself.

I am very new in the marriage venture, 3 years in it, a son and another baby on the way dropping any time soon. As a matter of fact I have learnt in these 3 years what can last me a lifetime. She's a great friend, a wonderful woman and wife and understands my personality to the last, so she knows how to act around me and I treat her well too with lots of love and respect. The only thing I just need is plenty of God's blessings and uncommon favour. At the moment things are not so good like I'd want but it's a phase that'll pass.

In all my peace of mind is 1000% intact, in fact she overdoses me with it. If there's anything to go wrong it would come from me and she knows that.

My personal opinion is that we knew what these women are even before we married them, just that at the early stages it's all butterflies so decision making tends to be a bit emotional and then in marriage the real nature of everyone comes to light. A good woman who listens to you, understands you, values you becomes even better and so it is for a good man.

I wish your boys a happy birthday and my Guuuuuuuy Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee enjoy your peace cos you deserve it after the shege you endured, Me?, I go don run sinceeeee cos I no get extra strength, I dey conserve my energy.


In marriage we learn DATING AND MARRIAGE aren't the same, it's about sacrifices from both parties and a return of energy.

I wish you the very best Gee

.

What makes a man a correct guy is the ability to discern nonsense from a mile away.
This situation isn’t just a red flag, it’s every color of flag rolled into one. Red, blue, violet, chocolate, rainbow, I mean all of them.

How do you see hell clearly and still decide to walk straight inside?
Tell me, what exactly do you expect to gain from such a relationship other than tears, more tears, with a touch of gnashing of teeth?

A real Gee knows when he meets certain girls that this one like this after one or two mouth I ain't going near this babe again and knows a babe to get serious with when he meets one. When you use your head instead of your heart, everything becomes clear, like fried meat displayed in a show glass.

If you truly love yourself, avoid that lady.

Guys love blaming innocent girls when things go wrong, but the truth is, they saw a pool of shit and still chose to dive in.

Flex Gee

I suppose frame my picture put for this topic cos this has been story of my life.

The funny thing about 11th hour miracles is that it comes 95% from where you weren't looking or expecting after getting disappointments from the places you were actually looking.

I rarely comment on nairaland because I love to conserve energy but listen and listen good,

I do not care if you have dated for 10 years, she's your girlfriend and not wife. He did absolutely nothing wrong or were you expecting him to sweep the room for you and your "girlfriend". If she even see am dey sweep she suppose collect the broom from em hand.

Apply common sense in everything you do, this isn't a big deal for you to get lost in thoughts and emotional to seek for advice cos wtf.

Channel that energy into bettering your life. A friendly reminder that Tinubu is your President and things will get madder, girlfriend no be investment my Guy.

Squash that shit like it's nothing and let your guy continue to be your Guy. Enjoy your girlfriend. 5 years from now you will understand especially if una no come marry.

canada123:
Just curious, how best to go about this

She’s not done anything wrong to me and have been very nice and sweet since we crossed path, but I’m living a double life and she dosen’t know the other side of me which is this side of addiction

Should I tell her the whole truth and breakup with her or I don’t need to tell her anything and just break up with her?

Though she knows my family members and have their contacts, and if I tell her the whole truth, my mum or siblings might know the shameful thing I’ve been into for years now secretly, and I’m a pastors son too ,

Just complicated now, this stuff is hard .

Just to make matters worse and add more context to how complicated it is, I made a terrible mistake

She’s 22 year old I’m 27 year old, she’s currently doing her NYSC and she’s in Lagos, since all my family members have relocated I told her she can stay in our family house , since no one is literally there except I think my cousin or so .

So breaking up with her in this situation, how best can I approach it please guys?

I really need help

The lady in question is more of a liability (problem) that needs to go rather than something that makes your life better (in the NOW).

In this situation, love has nothing to do with it, this is between reality, what's best for you both or a life lived on lies and false pretence and you'll be the one to suffer for it.

Even you yourself do not know her that well to bomb her with this kind of secret and not sure how she'd react, so it's better you keep it to yourself and focus on making your life better. The earlier you make decision to let her go the better for both of you, for her to heal and for you to focus on yourself and focus over there cos she's only but a distraction you have forced upon yourself.

If you've ever heard of DISCIPLINE then this is the moment to begin to grow into it cos ain't nobody would do it for you but yourself.

I'm not a saint myself cos I have done it all. I'm the ashawo vibe kind of Guy, I have spent fire on runs girls myself but at some point it became a problem, not cos I couldn't afford it anymore but the emptiness it made me feel. I began to miss the emotional sex connection kind of sex, where the other person feels happy and enjoys sex with you and ready to do it with any way you'd want and not cos they're being paid to do so.

My own problem was having a woman around I really liked cos for my kind of mindset I didn't need to be in love to marry anyone but I need to like you that much and if you vibe with me and I see you like me just as much too then we're good, love would come later when we begin to spend genuine and quality time together and over time you'd know what it is to be my kind of woman and the same for me too and that's where compatibility sets in.

The times I was busy inviting women to come over to cure konjiiii or import runs babes, it was never worth it cos as soon as I cum, I just want them gone, like just disappear. It made me feel extremely empty and dirty. It even fuckeddddd up my mental health.


I had to put a stop to that shit without any advice. Finally met someone I liked, like she's been on my contact but for some weird reasons never looked her way but she was someone we could smash and not talk for another 3 months if not more.

Another important factor people overlook is sexual attraction. Anyone you are settling for should at first possess that sexual appeal you want in your kind of woman, if na ynash you like make she get am, if big breast is what scatters your brain, make she get am, like she has to possess everything your normal spec would have, so even the slightest thing about her can turn you on without much.

Finally met someone I liked, married her last year and we recently just had a son, I'm even 10 years older. I'm 35 and she's 25, we dated for only 3 months before I proposed but it felt like we dated for 5 years cos it felt like we had this and wasted way too much time. It was a heaven of a 3 months.


Some times when she wants to visit, just cos I want to make it fun, a day before we would have talked about everything we wanted to do to each other, so that night we both would be looking forward to it, I'll tell her to order a ride to my place with no panties on and she'd oblige. This was just one of it, we tried everything there is to try. We're married with a son and everyday it still feels like we're dating. Sometimes we'll be in the same house and be talking shit to one another like we're in different places. If you were a visitor at that moment and you see us pressing our phones you could swear are both talking to someone else.

Life isn't supposed to be hard, whatever we want, we have to be intentional and build it and I mean every aspect of life.