₦airaland Forum

You most definitely have seen a poster, or heard on the radio or by word of mouth, about a missing person. Probably on the notice board or while surfing the net. You stop a bit to take a look at the picture, and almost immediately, you realize you don’t know this person. But you stare at the picture for a few seconds longer, not because you want to memorize this face and join the search party, no, you are just wondering, "where is this person right now?", then you move along or scroll by, going about your usual way. And the kindest of you would whisper a few prayers and go on as well.

But what happens to those they are missing from? their thoughts are not quite different from yours you see, “where is my son/wife/brother/cousin/friend?’’ only that it lasts all the while they’re missing, opposed to your few seconds. Dying is very different from missing. Imagine reading a book and suddenly you realise there are no chapters any more, the book has been ripped apart and you can’t find the closing half, you feel infuriated at the fact that you can’t ever get to know how this story has ended. When someone dies, you know their graves, you know all that led to that particular end, there’s a closure to the story , be it you see it as a proper one or not. Now you are forced to give it whatever ending, about a thousand cross your mind. Friends and families are trying to fill in the gaps, thinking, rituals maybe, or trafficking?. It’s a grim book, it has a grim ending.

Well, I reside over here, SW of Nigeria, and accept it or not this diabolic money ritual issue is quite prominent in this locale. With the increase in number of yahoo boys lately, business as turned a bit sour and they have turned to yahoo+. I assume the reader is familiar with this terms and does not think I’m referring to some email service providers. I had some sort of first hand experience with this missing person case. This story i’m about to tell you is quite the grotesque one, and if you don’t have the stomach for such, I’ll advise you move to the next paragraph. Now to begin, this cousin came visiting, he has not been seen neither by his parents nor the victimized family in about 5 years I should add, and suddenly he came around. he’s in his 20’s and the boy he came for is about 5 years old. he came to the house met his cousins, a boy and a girl, the older one-the girl, was a bit sick, so he had his way much easier. he claimed he wanted to get fish from their mum (their mum sells fish) and that the 5yr old should lead the way to his mama’s shop. And so did the devilman lure the boy away. later that night, the whole community was thrown into fear and confusion, searching for this little boy. and what was on everybody’s mind, albeit unspoken, was-kidnapped for money rituals. To cut the long story short, they later received a call about a boy found at the end of town by the riverbank. the boy, with his clothes completely drenched with blood, said he(the evil man) took him to this abattoir, placed his head on a piece of wood, kept on striking his neck with a knife, blood everywhere, him screaming and then stopping to, whilst pretending to be dead. The criminal then put him in a sack and placed him into a pit by the riverbank, probably hoping to carry him later at darker hours. But the boy climbed out of the pit, found a good samaritan, and so did he escape death by a hair’s breadth, leaving him scarred both physically and mentally forever. Two lessons to be learnt here. One, accepting crime in the society would surely get back at you(they knew he was a yahoo boy) and two, when someone goes missing, most times, someone close is responsible.

Back to how the families and friends feel. I have seen people lose their phones and how they acted, you must have to. Now this is a human being not a phone, imagine the trauma, the pain and how they realize, little by little, things can never be normal again. In some cases, the parents split, if they have kids, the kids become guarded. they might relocate and try to start anew. maybe thanks to time , they might sort of heal, but it never just goes away, and any little happening; from the smell of a perfume or the giggle of another, even after 20 years, can trigger memories and keep them thinking, "where are you right now?"

Maybe you should use this opportunity to study more

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, personality is said to be the set of emotional qualities, ways of behaving, that makes a person different from other people. So in short, personality is what makes you YOU. But with the advent of the internet, whereby one can interact with another, miles and miles away, gives way to develop some sort of alter ego.

For instance, an introvert who is most likely to keep to himself, might be very outspoken online. This difference in mannerism from his offline self, is what i would call one's online personality. I have grouped this online personality into two, known and unknown online personality, but i'm more interested in the latter. the known online personality would be associated with facebook, whatsapp and their likes, where most of your friends are those whom you are acquainted with in real life, and often more than not, your online personality mirrors that of your real life. Cases whereby the personalities do not mirror one another might be regarded as "fake life" by others. This is because one can only spot fake when one knows the original.

The unknown online personality, which refers to the attitude one takes up in a faceless forum or anonymous social network, is very fascinating. Often more than not, the personality is not identical to one's real life self. An online bully might turn out to be a timid person, one with a bossy nature might be milder in speech online and a staid man making facetious jokes all over faceless forums like this one. But what is the reason for this change in disposition? In one hand, the change might be the change the individual wants in his life, his real life I mean. the timid person, asserting dominance over everyone, in a bid to cope with his lack of courage, the bossy one, acting a little less bossy so as to console himself on his poor people skills and the staid man, trying to prove to no one but himself that he is not as drab as people conclude. And in the other hand, to know what it feels like to give life a different approach, whereby neither their age nor appearance play any role in their interactions with people, whilst juxtaposing between this two different realities. consequentially, you end up making friends with people whom you'd never as much as whisper to, based on your discrepancies. Although, the change can be sometimes minute, such as swearing frequently compared to one's offline self.

We can go philosophical and ask "which is the real personality?" "the offline or the online one?". "give a man a mask and he would show you his true face"- Oscar wilde. What if we don't really say what is on mind becuse we fear we might be called out, if we had the ability to go incognito in our offline life would we say a lot more? if on this forum, our monikers were replaced by our real names would we still say the same things? Me as a case study, when i find myself around strangers, strangers I am certain I would never see again, I tend to be a bit sassy, sarcastic and a lot more jovial as opposed to my real usual self (one personality is just more recurring than the other) whereby I usually keep to myself and mind my business amongst people I encounter regularly. still, this is in the offline life, but we can equate it to being in a faceless social network. so, how different is your offline life from your online life?

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TarOrfeek:
Your siblings will always assume that you, your family and whatever has your blood will be last. Subservient and in extreme dependence for their resources.


But God forbid that!

Yes,. God forbid that

Nutase:
Sorry.

You need not be. But you can help change things

TarOrfeek:
My Father was Last. The Uncle's want a Last Nephew.



Thunder fire all of them!

Can you explain more please?

ifyan:
Hmm another thing l have observed about lastborn is that your opinion doesn't rarely count

You will always be look down upon.

But there is something laatborns don't understand, they want life to be smooth for them without much struggle as if life is a bed of roses,mstchwwwwwwww.

One advice one will giveuna way be last born(aka smally) eh be say respect and follow your elder siblings when de are doing things. That way your life go de sweet small small

Do you really think so? What about being the only child? That's more or less like being a lastborn. So they have no chance of succeeding? That's the point of all this epistle, our life is not dependent on yours.

Privacy, privacy, privacy. would you like some privacy? a little confidentiality? nope, you know you aren't eligible for that service, you are not a highborn, you are a lastborn. this one "perk" is most intriguing, as you know,due to our status, we are an open book, everyones's viewing screen, from your last withdrawal to your first thousand spent, your results, your debit card infos, the friends you keep... basically everything, everyone knows, and they most definitely have a say in it. And every "big" step you plan on taking calls for a family meeting. look on the bright side, a biography of you would be precise, yet, concise, marked by your unnotable life.
So how's your relationship with your elder siblings? asides them being your benchmark. well, it's not rosy either, they hand you cash even though they know you have enough, fight for you and all, but all these, seemingly. To them, you are an asset, and those nice things done are just mere investments. So they can order you to get their phones in their room, clean their room, have a say in your life, and end with the suffix "sir" when talking to them. This is typical of the firstborn, in a bid to keep the hierachy steady, demands respect higher than that of Dad's. There's no convos between both of you because you are "not mates", and all our dealings shall be no different than a general's to a private. but the middleborns are quite different, they are friendlier, but not so much open. for example, they might be discussing personal issues and you walk in and there comes the awkward silence. and in the end, all you really know about your brothers is not other than "those you should respect". But you are an open book, even if you choose not to be.
I do create excuses for them, thats how i have managed this far. I thought it to be some sort of coping mechanism for the actions of my parent, maybe they can't face the fact all their kids are grown. and that I have nothing in common with my brothers, not that they really want to relegate me. But do they really create excuses for me? ever see a reason to my outbursts? other than the fact that i am just a whiny little boy.
Sadly, this never ends. you get married and your wife is tied in to this world of service, your kids are not left out either. Really, it's no fun being the lastborn.

Yes, I was born last to an already existing family of five, you know what that means right? yes, I had a pass to almost everything, I could mess up the house and still be called "cute" by mom, aferall, I was her darling darling pet. I was raised with an infinite amount of toys and no one dares make me cry. i was the born king. aren't those the perks of being a lastborn? right? right?. NO.
Rather than a king, the last born is more of a slave to the house, the palace's own clown, ever failing and ever dissapointing. As soon as you're born you have standards to meet, records to beat and of course, if you're yoruba, pepper to grind. you're forced to walk in everybody's shoes, God help you, you fail, a series of unfortunate events-the movie, would be a sweeter approach to life. And in failing, I marveled. I was rude, lazy and dirty, I was everything brothers were not, and I was never made to forget.
You see on the issue of respect, getting respect is as good as fishing in a desert, you'd assume as you grew older things would change, but not quite so they didnt. sometimes it might seem little, relatively at least, like everyone who comes around never fails to make jokes about you being mum's boyfriend, and how you suckle on mother's natural nourishers (if only they had the sense to be this mild in speech), without ceasing to add my born nickname-omo mummy. And I'm more than baffled on how they could make such grotesque jokes whilst still pointing out its grotesqueness as they laugh, snorting like pigs which they are.
But it gets really sore, especially when it comes from your parents, things should have changed, at least they did for my brothers as they graced in age. Dad and I's relationship was much like oil and water from the onset, although I fully acknowledge his authority over me, but, as a boy shapes into a man, he should be accorded some level of respect don't you think? he never stops talking to me like a five-year-old. picture this, 19 year old me, a grown man if i must add, forgeting to unlock the gates, and papi yelling, repeatedly, in front of the tenants and the tenants' kids, loud enough for the neighbours and the neighbours' kids to be audiences, "stupid". you can as well refer to that as my middle name, surely I have been called so more than my ceremonial names.
I'll be right back.