₦airaland Forum

oh

A thief broke into Akpos
house and stole his Tv. He
took
off and started running, Akpos
also ran after him. The
faster
he ran, the faster the Akpos
also ran after him. Finally the
thief
got tired and stopped, Akpos
also stopped. Panting,
Akpos told the thief "Take
the
remote, you forgot it"
Describe Akpos in one word!!

A man drove past a military road block and the officers asked him to pull over.
The man started shouting at them, "Do you know who I am? Ehn! Do you know..."
One officer interrupted, "Hey, you see those blocks at the other side of the road? They are 200. You are going to bring them here."
After they've beaten him, they made him carry the blocks.
He had carried 191 blocks, when their, superior officer, Akpos, passed by. Noticing what was happening, he pulled over.
The man recognized Akpos, as his former class mate. He beckoned to him, "Akpos! Thank God, you're here."
"What is the meaning of this!? Who asked you to carry this blocks?" Akpos screamed.
The man pointed at the officers that made him do it.
Akpos turned to them "You all are in serious trouble!" Then he turned back to his former classmate, "Sorry for the misunderstanding, how many blocks did they make you carry?"
"191 blocks. Can you imagine?" The man said.
"Ok. You know what, just return the blocks and you can be on your way" ...m0re...

A Girl was with her father when she
saw her boyfriend coming.
GIRL : Have you come to collect your
book titled "DADDY IS HOME?" by
James Ngozi.
BOY : No, I want that our hymns called
"WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?"
GIRL : I don't have that one... may be
you should take the other one "UNDER
THE MANGO TREE" by Mfundi Mvudla.
BOY : Fine, but don't forget to bring "I
WILL CALL YOU IN 5 MINS" while
coming to school...
GIRL : I will also bring this one too, "I
WON'T LET YOU DOWN" by Elvis grey
Then says DAD : These are too many
books, will he read all of them?
GIRL : Yes dad, he is very smart.
DAD:Okay,don't forget to give him the
one on the table titled "I AM NOT
STUPID,I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING
YOU'VE BEEN SAYING" by Shakespeare!
And also the one on the dinning titled
"IF YOU GET PREGNANT PREPARE TO
GET MARRIED" by John Kani
One word for this dad

wetin u call this in your dialet

what is this nigga trying to do,can someone explain

Peter : "I want my money now!"
Tom : "I will kill myself so that
I won't pay you" *he pulled a
gun and shot himself dead*
Peter : "hahaha.....If you think
you'll get away with my money you are wrong, i'l follow you until you pay
me!" *he takes the gun and shot
himself dead as well* James :
was watching from a distance
he laughed and said : "these guys
are funny, I must watch this till the end".....*he also took the
gun and killed himself! Who is
the most stupid out of them?
pls dnt spoil the fun share with
frnds. Don't laugh alone !!

Akpos on his way to Lagos entered a bus going to Lagos.
As the bus started moving Akpos shouted; Driver, if we get to Ore please tell me.
The Driver said; Okay.
Akpos then shouted for everybody in the bus to hear; People if we get to Ore please tell me o.
The passengers assured him that they'll tell him.
Everybody slept off.
The driver drove pass Ore.
They were in Abeokuta about to enter Lagos when a guy sitting next to Akpos woke up and said; Driver look what you have done.
This boy(pointing at Akpos) said when we get to Ore we should tell him and you have.....
The driver pleaded with the guy not to wake Akpos up and drove back to Ore.
They got to Ore and woke Akpos up.
Akpos brought out his phone, dialed a number and said; Hello. We are now in Ore.
He cuts the call and went back to sleep.
The driver woke him up again and said; We are now in Ore.
Akpos then said; Did i tell you i'm coming down in Ore. I'm going to Lagos. My dad said i should call him when i get to Ore.
One word for Akpos ?

Akpos went to a hotel to have fun,
nd he discover his car was stolen.
He told the workers that if they dont provide his car,what happen in 1965 will repeat itself.
the oga sugested he report to the police,Akpos said they have only 30 min,if not what hapen 1965 will repeat itself now.
After 30 min Akpos got up & started going,the oga ask sir what about what happen 1965?Akpos said in 1965 my car was stolen like this & i trek home.

Akpos was sitting in a taxi when
he receives a text message from
his girl friend asking:
"Sex tonight?"
He quickly typed: "Yes!"
Then a thief sticks his hand into the taxi and snatches the phone
from Akpos.
Akpos gets out of the car and
runs after the thief shouting:
"Press send for me ooo! PLEASE!
PRESS SEND!!!

A STUDENT PLAYING WITH HIS
LECTURER'S INTELLIGENCE ASKED THUS:

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question?
LECTURER: Yes!
STUDENT: How can one put an elephant inside the
fridge?
LECTURER: I dnt knw.
STUDENT: It'z easy, u jst open the fridge and put it
in there.
I have another question!
LECTURER: Ok, ask.
STUDENT: How can one put a donkey inside the
fridge?
LECTURER: It'z easy, you just open the fridge and put
it in there.
STUDENT: No sir, u just open the fridge take out
the elephant nd put it in there
LECTURER: Ooh...ok!!
STUDENT: If all the animals went 2 the lion's
birthdy party with 1 animal missing, which animal
would it be?
LECTURER: The lion ofcoz bcoz it would eat all the
animals.
STUDENT: No sir, the donkey ofcoz bcoz it'z stll
inside the fridge.
LECTURER: Are u kidding me? STUDENT: No sir,
one more last question.
LECTURER: Ok!
STUDENT: If there's a river of crocodiles and u
want 2 cross, how
would u?
LECTURER : There's no way, I would need a ladder
2 cross.
STUDENT: No sir, u jst swim and cross it bcoz all
the animals went 2 the lion's birthday party.
..::more::..

na 2day u know money good.

nice adventure.#Nairaland

bullshit..church of satan..#Nairaland

nice point NPF

nawa o.

u d0n die,m0re 2 come on ur way

oh

decide wisely abeg.sai okorocha

Xiaomi has become the fourth biggest seller of smartphones worldwide, according to a new report from the research firm Gartner. Xiaomi pushed its way into the top five of all smartphone companies during the third quarter of 2014 with sales of 18.8 million units. It only sold 3.6 million units for the same period a year ago.
According to Gartner, overall sales of smartphones went up to 301 million units, or 20.3 percent, between July and September 2014 compared to the same period a year ago. Samsung was first with 73.2 million units in the third quarter, followed by Apple with 38.1 million units. However, the other three companies in the top five are all based in China, with Huaweiin third with 15.9 million units, Xiaomi in fourth, and Lenovo in fifth with 15.01 million units.
Gartner quotes its research director Roberta Cozza as saying: With the ability to undercut cost and offer top specs Chinese brands are well positioned to expand in the premium phone market too and address the needs of upgrade users that aspire to premium phones, but cannot afford Apple or Samsung high-end products.

source:-http://www.gartner.com/newsroom/id/2944819

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church biz

kudos

Ok

K

Ayam Happy,O Le Geshin nu mi