Posted same picture bout two weeks ago but never made front page....moderators there is God ooo

Pls which one consumes more data?

What would be your reaction?

I know the guy way back in FGC ph, he was a class below me then, also a boarder.....1st time I saw his pix on Instagram, I was abit shocked he has transformed...

always knew there was something funny bout the guy...but was can I say, he is making money from his business, better than being unemployed

BrightEye:
@op, but some people claim that beer contains a very high level of sugar and that's even what makes it taste somehow bitter. Isn't too much of sugar dangerious to the body?

if you read very well, something bout drinking moderately is mentioned

Beer, the single most important human invention after the internet and moin-moin; the greatest product of science and proof that you can kiss an hour glass lady anytime you want. Anytime.

According to Benjamin Franklin, beer is proof that God wants us to be happy and so it begs the question and baffles me when someone full of life says, “I don’t drink beer”. That’s like saying I want to have kids but I don’t want to have sex, it doesn’t follow. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for freedom of speech and expression but like all things on earth, that freedom comes with a clause… It should not be harmful to the health of other people around you.

Beer is a product of fermentation and is brewed in over 100 countries by over a thousand breweries worldwide, a proof of the ubiquitous nature of this beverage, and any man of substance ought to go out of his way to have a beer every once in 4 weeks at the very least. I have good reasons for that.

1. A bottle of beer a day, keeps the doctor away.


Thomas Jefferson once said, “beer if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health. What Thomas Jefferson was trying to say there was, if you drink beer, your problems do not come haunting you.

Also the yeast used in brewing beer contains a lot of nutrients like magnesium, potassium, chromium, selenium, phosphorus and B vitamins. Talk about a healthy dose of happiness and nutrients, comforting you without asking for a ring in return.

2. Beer is au naturale.

Which means that it does not contain artificial preservatives, like those found in soda/soft drinks, so you don’t even have to bother about your doctor placing an embargo on beverages with artificial preservatives.

Unlike Coke (Pepsi), Fanta (Mirinda) etc, beer is preserved by a natural ingredient called hops. I would go ahead to mention other health benefits like how stout beer is a good remedy for constipation, but I think I’ve made enough already. Let’s move on.

3. Beer is the most popular beverage after water and tea.


If beverages were to be a democracy, I’d liken beer to the judicial arm of government. Where water is the executive arm and tea is the legislature, for the single reason that it helps you make accurate judgments. For example, there have been reports that after consuming 6 bottles of lager beer, old things are passed away and behold previously ugly wenches become as pretty as Miss Colombia.

4. Drinking beer teaches patience.


If there’s one virtue that beer imbibes into the average drinker, it is patience. I’m not about the first lady here, but here’s how it works.

When pouring water into a glass, you just pour it at once and it settles down nicely, but that’s not the case with pouring beer. Pouring beer requires the highest level of concentration and emotional stability to make sure every drop gets into the glass without spilling onto the table, little wonder tailors are big fans of drinking beer.

5. Beer is loyal

Beer is like a dog, always there for you, in good times and in bad times unlike champagne which is only there for you in good times when you need to celebrate and that’s why the price of beer can never go off the roof. In fact, the highest you can pay for beer is ₦1000 at a club or ₦250 pump price unlike champagne that sells for an upward of ₦7000 at a club and ₦4000 pump price.

Be guided.

6. Beer is safer than water. Really.

If you read the news and follow it judiciously, you’ll have known that sometime last year, there was an outbreak of cholera resulting from the consumption of unclean water, especially on the suburbs of Port Harcourt. My guess is those people could have been very thirsty to the point of dehydration and needed to drink water but alas the water was dirty or impure. They’d easily have drank a beer to provide them with enough liquid while they searched for clean water.

At this point, I’d like you to know beer in it’s finished form is pure. Make use of that information how you will.

In closing, there are three kinds of people: the people who brew the beer; the people who serve the beer; and the people who drink the beer. Choose ye this day which of them you are.

I’d recommend all three.

Being broke in Nigeria is a serious crime in case you never knew. And like every other crime, it doesn’t go unpunished. Your family will laugh at you, your friends will desert you; and your case will be worse than the woman with the issue of blood. In Nigeria, you don’t want to be broke.

Someone once asked me what I’ll do if I woke one day after collecting ₦19,800 from the FG and I found out I was broke and their were no jobs to look forward to; and as is the case in Nigeria, no social security money coming in. To be honest, I didn’t take it lightly, in fact, I was apprehensive for the next few hours after that conversation. But then I remembered I’m a Nigerian and we always bounce back from seeming defeat.

So I’ve decided to think for y’all so when you find yourself in this situation. There are plenty other options, but I have selected a few that I think do not require as much stress as Lagos offers.

So grab you popcorn, get your 3D glasses on; this will be one hell of a ride!

Oil bunkery: Have you ever thought of this? All (99%) of the people that have been accused of oil theft in the Niger Delta have just gone back into oblivion, poof! gone like magic, where are they now? Wait let me help you out… They’re chilled in their lush apartments reaping the fruits of their “labour” and some of them even have political advisory positions and are flown in from Benin republic in presidential aircraft. I did not call names.

oil barrels

Militancy: If you’re like me and you come from a place in Nigeria called the Niger Delta area, It means everywhere that you’ll go, people already have a stereotype attached to your personality… Militancy. Now while I’d love for you to prove them wrong… but, in the event that you’re about to go broke, gladly pick up your arms and run to the creeks and make sure to garner enough oil to power a two countries, sixty cities and two hundred towns.

One thing I love about this country that issues a green passport (that will get you smooched in the name of security search at major airports) and that is the fact that somehow we all fear the people that force us and bomb is to get what they want, as against the people that will sit down with us and talk like humans should do. So maybe if you threaten the government, you and your foot soldiers will be put on a permanent government payroll for doing nothing, and possibly sent for trainings abroad; all on taxpayers money. Easy money.
private-jet-trips
I didn’t mention nobody

Become a politician not because you want to lead this country to the promised land or because you care about “change”, functional governments, economy stability and or whatever it is that will become mainstream when you are ready for that political move; but because you cannot afford to go broke.

And before you go ahead and tell me how I’m the type that’s impeding the growth of this country, let me ask you a question, “how many legislators will willingly run for the senate if they were not going to be paid or benefit from Farouk-ing?” Or how many of these political office holders will gladly sit with people they don’t like in the name of national confab if they were not in line for a big payday? Questions my people, questions.

nigerian politician a good nigerian politician

You can become a policeman, even though we all know that in your right frame of mind you wouldn’t want to be a cop; but when the water in the kettle becomes more than garri in the bag, you’ll understand that cops have “taken” police funds and are still walking free in this country and maybe given a Medal of Honor in the next few years for their meritorious service to the state of Nigeria. I’d like a medal, wouldn’t you?
the police is your friend the police is your friend…?

Open a telecom company and exploit millions of Nigerians by using their phone numbers for advertising and still offer them shitty services because nobody’s going to hold me responsible for my actions and the victims don’t know who to turn to. See Facebook and Twitter advertising has got nothing on this telecom providers.

How you intend to get the funds? I do not know, but I know, “Necessity is the mother of invention”; and just in case you’re finding that too tasking…

..You could open a Nigerian airline, Set prices at any amount I deem fit, offer shity services; cancel flights at random; delay flights when I can and even decide to put passengers on the wrong plane for the Bleep of it. You do not offer refunds, and you do not give a $#!# if the passengers just missed their very important job interview. This is Nigeria, anything can happen!

Open a filling station (fuel station)… and sell petroleum products at arbitrary prices and when (if) anybody complains, please don’t fail to remind them that even though their country explores crude oil you’re doing them a huge favour by making sure the refineries don’t work so you can export the crude oil to Europe, refine it and import it back to Nigeria while collecting subsidies before going on to make petrol available for as little as ₦180 per litre (as per dollar exchange rate and things). They should be grateful.

You could open a centre for space travel and propulsion in Nigeria even though I know the country is still far from making its own shuttles and even when we make them abroad and send them to orbit, they will do the MH370 and disappear without trace.

Bottom line, make money from doing nothing actually, retire and start collecting free retirement benefits from the government; if an equally corrupt person doesn’t come and change my parade and run away with my pension fund.

Last but not least on the list is bribing your way into the Federal Road Safety Commission and find yourself in the exact department that is responsible for license plates and driver’s licenses; introduce a new license plate system by changing the position of the flag from left to right and changing the fonts which the name of the states are written in, then give an ultimatum and proceed to coerce tax paying Nigerians to change to the new plates or face the wrath of the “law”. They can’t stop your shine!

nigerian-license-plates

So there we go, all the ways you can make money in Nigeria (without directly killing anybody in the process), do try them out and let me know when you hit the jackpot. and like my country people will say, “we do not accept bribes” but we will accept any form of thanks (in cash) if any of these methods work for you.

Until next time,

https://playbookutunu./2014/03/19/make-money-in-nigeria/

…
Have you ever been told any of the
following words by a member of the
opposite sex you find attractive? “We’re
best friends”, “we’re super buddies”? If
the answer to any of those two questions
is negative, its not out of place for you to
purchase a he-goat and go for
thanksgiving on sunday or if you’re
aren’t a Christian… Just celebrate.

Truth be told, the rate at which ladies
and guys “zone” themselves these days is
alarming (this quite deviates from the
biblical injunction, “Go ye into the
world, be fruitful and multiply”)… I
digress.

Even after the Friend Zone madness has
died in some quarters. Well today isn’t
about the “Zone” per say, but rather
we’ll be talking music.

If you’ve not read about the zone, please
minimise this page and click this link
before you continue.
*turns on iPod*

Top on my list is the song by Cassie, “Is
it you?”. Now listen to this,

“I’m looking for a lover and not a
friend… Someone who’s not afraid to
say the way they feel about you”

I mean, here’s a lady who obviously has
a lot of male admirers and what not…
And is supposed to be a hot cake. I
digress again. And then finally sees this
guy that she really likes and instead of
grabbing the package is still asking
questions. Before you know it… Like
magic, he’s in the friend zone even
before he got to say a word. This life is a
soft pawpaw mehn

*Skips to next track*

Like I had not had enough, I had to meet
this song by Mo’Fame (he featured
Erriga and Glenn though) and here’s the
punchline.

“After I don type, type, type, type, type
the babe just L.O.L everything”.

Don’t even lie, a girl has done this thing
to you before! Remember that fair, 5″10
Igbo chick that you picked up on your
way to Showtime lounge? (By the way
Showtime lounge is at the Silverbird
Complex in Port Harcourt). Let’s say,
after you made sure she had her fill of
choice drinks from the bar (these usually
range from N2,000 to N11,000
depending on who you are) and making
sure you dropped her at her gate before
going to kneel down and hands up for
coming back home after 8pm… She
decides to “bless you” with her BB pin [I
usually ask for number and proceed to
whatsapp just incase she uses an iPhone
(˘̯˘) a niggur can’t be oppressed] and
then you go on for like an hour giving
her the coolest stories about how you
want her to be “your own”… She
replies… “L.O.L”.
Brother don’t even bother about
continuing that chat… Just put one hand
(left hand preferably) on your balls and
swear for her three generations… Its
allowed.


*Track 3*
February 14, 1999

“She says she likes it when I stay, she
don’t want me to go…”

14 years later

“Girl would you be my lover? NO… Tired
of running around chasing you…”

Sigh. This right there is the story of a
Zonal camp director. I mean why will a
guy make you smile, at the same time
you like his style and he still doesn’t
relent and chases you everywhere you go
and yet you give him a James Bond
franchise, dr NO, (the “dr” is silent).
Why? I really can’t say more than I’ve
said already, bros, park your bag and
leave that part of the country. sigh.
Hope you notice how I started and ended
the last paragraph with “Sigh”. Sigh


https://playbookutunu./2013/02/27/friend-zone-music/?relatedposts_hit=1&relatedposts_origin=826&relatedposts_position=1
courtesy....

pls I need reasonable comments.....why is it that most doctors are usually addicted to either alcohol, cigarette, hard drugs or all of them....? some say its because of the work they do and the sight...if so why become a doctor?

any difference?

thanks for being supportive....I finally figured it out, its king jaja of opobo....

any idea?

pls help me identify this man....thanks

A king once had a slave who, in
all circumstances said: "My king,
do not be discouraged because
everything God does is perfect,
no mistakes..." One day, they
went hunting and a wild animal
attacked the king, the slave
managed to kill the animal but
couldn't prevent his majesty
losing a finger. Furious and
without showing gratitude, the
King said; "if God was good, I
would not have been attacked
and lost one finger!" The slave
replied: "Despite all these things,I
can only tell you that God is good
and everything he does is
perfect, He is never wrong!"
Outraged by the response, the
king ordered the arrest of his
slave. Later,he left for another
hunt and was captured by
savages who use human for
sacrifice. In the altar, the savages
found out that the king didn't
have one finger in place so he
was released because he was
considered not "complete" to be
offered to the gods... On his
return to the palace, he
authorized the release of his
slave saying; "My friend, God was
really good to me! I was almost
killed but for lack of a single
finger I was let go! But I have a
question: if God is so good, why
did He allow me to put you in
jail?" He reply: "My king, if I had
gone with you,I would have
been sacrificed for you because I
have no missing finger."
Remember, everything God does
is perfect, He is never wrong...
Often we complain about life,
and the negative things that
happen to us, forgeting that
nothing is random,and that
everything has a purpose...A king once had a slave who, in
all circumstances said: "My king,
do not be discouraged because
everything God does is perfect,
no mistakes..." One day, they
went hunting and a wild animal
attacked the king, the slave
managed to kill the animal but
couldn't prevent his majesty
losing a finger. Furious and
without showing gratitude, the
King said; "if God was good, I
would not have been attacked
and lost one finger!" The slave
replied: "Despite all these things,I
can only tell you that God is good
and everything he does is
perfect, He is never wrong!"
Outraged by the response, the
king ordered the arrest of his
slave. Later,he left for another
hunt and was captured by
savages who use human for
sacrifice. In the altar, the savages
found out that the king didn't
have one finger in place so he
was released because he was
considered not "complete" to be
offered to the gods... On his
return to the palace, he
authorized the release of his
slave saying; "My friend, God was
really good to me! I was almost
killed but for lack of a single
finger I was let go! But I have a
question: if God is so good, why
did He allow me to put you in
jail?" He reply: "My king, if I had
gone with you,I would have
been sacrificed for you because I
have no missing finger."
Remember, everything God does
is perfect, He is never wrong...
Often we complain about life,
and the negative things that
happen to us, forgeting that
nothing is random,and that
everything has a purpose...A king once had a slave who, in
all circumstances said: "My king,
do not be discouraged because
everything God does is perfect,
no mistakes..." One day, they
went hunting and a wild animal
attacked the king, the slave
managed to kill the animal but
couldn't prevent his majesty
losing a finger. Furious and
without showing gratitude, the
King said; "if God was good, I
would not have been attacked
and lost one finger!" The slave
replied: "Despite all these things,I
can only tell you that God is good
and everything he does is
perfect, He is never wrong!"
Outraged by the response, the
king ordered the arrest of his
slave. Later,he left for another
hunt and was captured by
savages who use human for
sacrifice. In the altar, the savages
found out that the king didn't
have one finger in place so he
was released because he was
considered not "complete" to be
offered to the gods... On his
return to the palace, he
authorized the release of his
slave saying; "My friend, God was
really good to me! I was almost
killed but for lack of a single
finger I was let go! But I have a
question: if God is so good, why
did He allow me to put you in
jail?" He reply: "My king, if I had
gone with you,I would have
been sacrificed for you because I
have no missing finger."
Remember, everything God does
is perfect, He is never wrong...
Often we complain about life,
and the negative things that
happen to us, forgeting that
nothing is random,and that
everything has a purpose...