₦airaland Forum

I am a french speakin so if one can excuse me for my English. thank you.

Hi guys,
I am dating a nigerian man for 10months. My point of writing is to get an external opinion(not frm friends n family) to the story. As for me the way our relationship started was very different and troublesome.
Well, I was studyin in south africa for 2years and half when my parents send my 2little bro 17 and 18 to learn english and live with me. I am from gabon. some months after my brothers arrived my parents had financial trouble back home and couldn't send enough money anymore. It is in that time that I met the nigerian guy dat is my boyfriend today he helped me find a cheapest place to stay with my brothers. And he was helpin us for fud matter when we needed him. In the very beginnin I ddn't no if he was helpin for the fact dat knowin we r student when our money will come he could benefit on dat cos he was always askin me when is ur money comin when he was helpin me with some cash for fud n I was tellin him about my parents situation.
from day one I met him we were seein each other everyday but always in his friend place n after 7days he told me he was a drug dealer. I was scared n I think in my mind to stop seein him. Then we carry on seein each other I dnt know how. I was now almost sellin with him goin in his car to see his clients. Still he was helpin me as he could with cash for food for my brothers n I.
After 2weeks I asked him why he never took me to his house he said its cos the mother of his baby n his baby r livin with him. I stop chatin with him dat day n he came to my house sayin they will go he is keepin dem cos he need to make some papers for his residence on his baby's head once its done they will go. We keep on seein each other.
My brothers left to Gabon n I stayed in sa cos I wasnt done with my course. I had to move again cos even the appartement we were just in I had to pack out from it for a friend place as my parents couldn't be payin me a rent anymore. I move to my ex boyfriend place n my actual boyfriend was ok with dat as long as I promiss him to do not hv sex with him Also dat he couldn't accomodate me. He asked me to come n live with him n the mother of his baby n baby I said no. I think he knew I would hv say no.
Then came a time where the mother of his baby started disturbin me on phone tellin me what am I doin with her man. I start gettin crazy and I told him to make her go as he said its me he loved. Then some weeks later he told me she left. I arrived his place 2nd tym cos he had already took me there one day do like am just a friend. So when I arrived that tym they were gone. We had a fight dat day n he chased me away from his place nxt morning. Then I was comin always sleepin over his place n as my ex boyfriend couldn't accomodate me no more. my boyfriend told me to come n live with him. living together he was buyin food and giving me transport money to go to school every morning. We were havin a lot af cultural differencies and also the fact that he is reasonning like a bush person most of the times. He is 25 and has never been beyong high school I am 22 and I am goin to university. So I was always tellin him u r uneducated when he was gettin me upset.
Still the mother of his baby was writin to me n insultin me that I steal him from her cos now I was the one stayin with him without havin to hav a baby with him.. she was also sendin him messages to talk abt me n say things like since he met me he wasnt caring for her anymore. She then blocked the account she opened for him where he was puttin the money from his business and she told him he wont see his baby never again.
he beated me up 3times and always I forgive him bt the 3rd time I run away from his place n he catch me back. Then I waited for him 2go out n I went 2see my ex I slept over his place n when I came back home in the morning he was calm n try to talk to me quietly. the nxt day he told me to admit I had cheated on him dat was true n I'd admit it. He lock us up in the room from morning till afternoon n he was very angry. We moved on n we forgive each other he offered me flowers and a card sayin: I am the one and that he loves me forever. That was the 3rd time he gave me flowers.
but we were fightin 2much as a couple livin 2gether n I was tellin him it will b over once I leave to my country. When He took me to the airport goin back to gabon I told him u know its our last tym to see n when I get here I didn't bother to call him after 10days he wrote to me sayin he can't live without me And he is ready to play by my rules we set things up and since then we r tryin to work hard each side our best to build a futur together. as I am lookin for a job in my country he is still sellin drugs over there n he is plannin to quit dat business to start smthin better this year cos I think we can't hv a futur if he is nt stable. I really need him to be stable. I don't wanna be thinkin I hv a futur with some1 when he can't be possible if the person doesnt get what is buildin a futur together really means and I don't wanna compromise too much for him as he is a nigerian person n even with any other nationality no one can be sure of a man till one get the ring on her finger. Also the fact dat now we r no longer stayin in the same country n our relationship became a long distance relationship. So we hv to be very serious on both sides to lead it somewhere. So I want to know from you guys if I have chances buildin a home with this man I love cause maybe the love I have for him can obstruct my judgement. Also as I want to go to nigeria he told me to go to his place where his brothers n sisters r stayin cos I am goin for a religious purpose. He told me to go n stay with them so in some days I will meet his ppl. Thats my story