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Yo Gotti and super producer Mike WiLL Made It have joined forces for an unexpected collaborative album called Gotti Made-It which will be available as soon as tomorrow, June 2 across all digital platforms. ‘Rake It Up’ which Nicki Minaj previewed on Instagram yesterday will be the lead single off the project, which is obviously produced entirely by Mike WiLL Made It. It’s being released independently. Peep the full tracklisting below and lookout for the stream at midnight. Nicki Minaj has some heat coming our way. Yesterday (May 31), the rap game’s Queen Bee uploaded a video of herself playing a new collaboration with herself and Yo Gotti. From the bit of the track we can hear, Gotti can be heard repeating the words, “Bleep it up” a few times before going on to do the same with the phrase,“rack it up.” It sounds like the stuff of a flexing anthem, and once we get to Nicki’s verse, we learn it definitely. DOWNLOAD THE AUDEO HERE |
Source: http://focus4music.cf/view/?p=VIDEO_-_Runtown_-_For_Life Barely 10 days after the release of ‘For Life’ a song currently topping charts across the African continent, Runtown has decided to bless his fans with the official video of the song. The Eric Many frontline act who has enjoyed a remarkable year with multi million naira endorsement deals, sold out concerts and tours all over the world, shot the new video in London and it was directed by award winning cinematographer, Meji Alabi. At the moment, the smash hit song ‘For Life’currently tops the chart in over 10 African countries and the wave is fast spreading across the world. Enjoy below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J55SbQNt8OU |
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I know somebody out there will be reading this piece and saying to himself or maybe laughing hysterically that the writer of this piece must be off his rocker. “How could this clownish ‘writer wanna-be’ be associating a winning brand like the logistics crooner, Efe Ejegba, with failure? This writer definitely has no clue!” Like Mr. Eazi will say, hey! Please HOLD UP for a second and follow my line of thought as I take you through the FAILING POINTS of our dearly beloved Efe. First of all, please don’t go down low. Big Brother Nigeria show is a ‘reality’ TV show where house mates are supposed to live their lives in an enclosed and controlled environment, with little or no interactions with outsiders. First, how can a TV show be real? I mean TV is generally associated with make-believe. Therefore if you are able to pretend in a very convincing manner, you can literally bring warm tears into the eyes of your audience; that is the rule of the game! 6 things that make efe the winner of BBnaija is 1. He was veryORIGINAL: Take it or leave it, everyone in the show already had a script in their heads, buried within the deepest and darkest part of their subconscious. Most of the house mates started to play and display their scripts hoping to convince you and I that they are REAL. However, the only housemate who really failed in that area was Efe. He failed because he must have decided to extricate any script embossed in his mind; all he did was to come with is original and ‘diamond in the rough’ self to play the game. A wise man once said ‘TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE’. Efe failed the test of make-believe but won and literally stole our hearts away by being original…Believing in his make! 2 He connected to hisROOT: There is something very special, almost ethereal about a man that is able to relate and connect with his root – his people, experiences, and culture. While other housemates related fairly on their connectedness to their root, Efe displayed a humongous relish and deep collection with his root – experiences with his people (Niger-Delta), his sometimes tumultuous and rickety experiences growing up, and a deep connection with his culture. 3. He was theLOGISTICSman: SEE GOOBE, Efe already volunteered to be the logistics person. He wanted to be the one to carry out all the running around; what some might call the errand or dirty job. He was not scared that someone else would take the spotlight. Please indulge me for moment, If you are a religious person of Christian faith you might have come across the part of the bible where Jesus Christ said – he that will be first in the kingdom must first be the servant of men…I just paraphrased it. 4. He had hisMOTHER’S LOVE: From some of the stories that Efe narrated and recounted while in the house, you will notice streaks of tales of his mother scattered around it. In this part of the world, we believe that the prayer and good will of a parent especially that of a mother, is almost as potent as the proclamation from God. I‘m sure his mother’s heart must have leaped in merriment those times she hears her son talk about her (although sometimes he gives too much information); there is no way her merry heart would not pray for him. 5. He was notSUPER HUMAN: We are all creatures flawed with personal idiosyncrasies and foibles. Regardless of how real Efe was, he identified with his humanity and its sundry limitations. He did not try to form Robocop or Superman. He never tried to be more catholic than the pope. Instead, he made his mistakes, owned up to them, accepted responsibilities for them, and moved on. Did he misbehave a few times in the house? Yes he did! Did he get drunk at some point? Yes!! As a saying goes – ‘the best of humans is still human after all’. 6. He isEDUCATED: Beyond being real, original, respectful etc., Efe is educated. Education is not limited to stale and sometimes banal knowledge gotten from the four walls of a higher institution, but rests heavily on the ability of a man to learn from experiences, relearn critical lessons, and unlearn unethical, unscrupulous, and amoral attitudes of mind and behaviour. From the conversations of the young man – Efe, it was clear that he was not just sound cognitive-wise, but also experientially: He was street savvy. Education (university degree) is usually not enough because the world is full of educated derelicts. See photos @: http://lackeynet.mobie.in/Post/?fid=6_Things_That_Made_Efe_Win_The_24million_Naira_From_BBnaija |
Durning a concert held in Warri yesterday for the Ex-housemates, the One campaign ambassador after being persuaded by the show host, Helen Paul went on stage and made peace with her former ‘housie boo’ ,ThinTallTony. Bisola who found out that he was married during the grand finale of the show said TTT has betrayed their friendship which led to the actress refusal to hug him during their meet in Lagos. But seems the mother of one, got all of that behind her yesterday at the concert in Warri after she hugged him signaling a sign of forgiveness. Watch the video below: http://lackeynet.mobie.in/Post/?fid=Watch_Video_Of_How_Bisola_Forgives_Thintalltony_As_They_Hug_Each_Other_On_Stage |
Story Narrated by Precious, written & produced by Valentine {coolval} The dim light of the room was enough to highlight Damian’s body lying under the covers of our bed. His long frame was silhouetted delicately as the sheet and blanket draped over his naked body. Every muscle of his slender frame was showing through the somewhat thin fabric he placed over himself. The contoured m—d of his manhood, prominently showing, was highly e—-c and stimulating. My p.u.ssy began to water slowly as I stood in the doorway staring at my new husband. I leaned against the molding of our room door and felt one of my firm little b—–s with my hand. My n—-e instantly hardened as i felt the heat flow into my stiff n—-e. My pus.sy was slick with my internal naturalness. I felt the warm trickle of my inner desire flow out and coat my now engorging inner lips. My outer folds of personal smoothness also began to warm gently. As I stared at my husband lying there on the bed, my feelings roared all over my body. It was our first night as husband and wife. Oh how happy and fulfilled i was that fateful evening. We really had lots of terrible challanges which we overcame to get married. I closed my eyes as my head played back the events which led to our marriage. I soon felt a hand on my shoulder and another between my legs. I felt warm breath on the back of my neck and the touch of hot soft lips upon my skin at the same time. Damian had joined me. I did not open my eyes. I let my husband feel me. I felt my husband’s hot body tenderly touch mine. His damp skin tenderly brushing mine sent desire rushing through me. He slowly pressed his erection against my body and I felt it throb as blood rushed through it. Slowly he planted tender kisses to the back of my neck. His warm lips felt good on my skin and the tingles from his loving touch made me shiver in delight. I tilted my head to the side slightly and he moved lower with his lips. His hand suddenly covered my tenderness. The jolt of his hand on my place of sensualness made me moan with euphoric pleasure. Slowly, he ran a finger through my hot wet divide. My hot core flowed onto his finger as he moved it up and down, letting it sink into my soft pink fold. I felt my vertical line fold over his finger, contouring to the shape of his digit sliding easily through my sexual lips. I felt my cl.it come to life. He gently ran his fingertip over my hard sensitive knob of pleasure. I shivered and moaned loudly. Expertly his other hand covered one of my small br.easts which he squeezed hard. My nip.ple, as hard as it already was, filled with more blood and felt as if it was going to actually pop off my body. The intense feeling made my body quiver. Suddenly and with a swift move, he swung me around making me whimper in pleasure. His handsome face was smooth and his eyes deep. I touched his cheek softly and ran my fingertip over his lips. He gave me a very caring look; the look I fell in love with the moment we met. Wrapping his arms around my delicate warm body, he brought his lips to mine, kissing me tenderly and long. I felt my breath leave my lungs like it always did. Damian knew just how to leave me breathless. ***To be continued.*** Also Read Part Two PART 2: http://http://lackeynet.mobie.in/Story/?fid=My_Wedding_Night_Part_2 |
This is the part 4 of this story. Read part 1 to 3 @ http://lackeynet.mobie.in Mr Mike tried covering his banana but was prevented from doing so.the guys just stood there making jest of him and using the tip of their gun to toy with his banana dingling like that of a bell 1st Guy:ah baba lecturer ye ma baje gan(this lecturer must be very spoilt)bros i greet o 2nd Guy: oya lets go outside Mr Mike: outside! ah(collapse) 2nd Guys:guys make we comot…they left the lecture hall before the whole students started shouting. some where laughing while most girls were crying as we all surrounded the unconcious lecturer,some students were taking photos of him.the security finally surfaced,they ask what had happened,trust students,they narrated the story to them.they revived mr mike and took him out of the lecture hall. The news spreed round the campus like burning fire with heavy.no body asked me anything about the incident,they thought those guys just came to my rescue due to the harrassment was too much,they all blamed mr mike for taking pleasure in harrassing a student(me) each time for no just reason,some were like “shey nah fashion we come skul 4! anybody can wear anything to the lecture hall as far as the cloth is covering the person’s unclothedness”.the truth is that the man just hate me and like making fun in class using me for no just reason because am always neat to lectures,just that my dressing code is too simple. When i met matchety i was just too glad.i thanked him for everything and he said its all not his plan,the capon did.i was excited.when we got to meeting that night i thanked them all.my friendship with matchety grew,we became very close like brothers and this moved on well.i also made friends with skipper a guy on campus but i never knew he belong to a cult called “ELVIS” one of the hardcore enemies of BLACK MEN and as for mr mike i never saw him on campus again. ******** i got into my year 2 in school(my year 1 result was cool) and to crown it all we are about writing our final exams for year 2 self. ********** Am now a big boy.i dont lack anything again because the black men don’t play little shits,we deal with politicans.we work for politicans or big businessmen and get heavy pay.what do you think when i said we work for politicans? Well i just meant that we help them do their dirty works like eliminating their enemies,though i had not killed yet but i had been promised that i would take part in the next business to come. I was in my lodge playing ps 2 games with matchety as we bragged to deal with each other Matchety:after today eh if u see me u wont want to play game again Me:abeg make i hear,u too make mouth,i go finish u today(dont get surprised i now speak foul english(pidgin)that’s one of the bad thing u learn when u start associating with bad friends and when u join the wrong people) Matchety:eh.wu dey tok,see d bad R2 i dey play u na Me:how many goals u don use am score,u nor dey see as i dey carry my keeper catch ur R2? No worry i go begin carry post for u now Matchety:u say u go do wetin Me:i go dey shift post,na cheat be that Matchety:make i hear,shift wetin,no be only cheat na chat Me:how u go take no when u just start game yesterday Matchety: da ke jawe(keep shut jawe) Me:see my goal here(he paused the game)u dey craze? why you go pause when i wan score u Matchety: o ma sheybi ode(you would be acting like a fool)person dey call me(dip his hand into his trouser pocket) Me:ta ni?(who?) Matchety: (brought his phone out of his pocket and picked the call)hello observe.what? When? Na which fraternity buy this market? Capon don know? Ok na i dey with sky…hang up. Me:wetin happen? Matchety:ah sky Me:na wetin na? Matchety:butcher don off(die) he don rest in peace Me:what?where,when,how,who do am? Matchety: observer say them just pa(kill) am few minutes ago Me: (boiling)who and how and for where,talk na Matchety:na for campus,observer say na THE ELVIS kill am Me: (stood up)ah,THE ELVIS don fuckuuup,dem don price market and them must buy am by force.school go hurt again Matchety:ah scores don count 0:1,na we get school na,na we dey decide tinz 4 we skul kom dey run am too.aaah(stood up too)this is time for blood.blood must to for blood.why ELVIS go dey win us 0:1 for we home again Me:calm down.we go treat dem fuckupp Matchety:you must be careful now because war has began…call came into my phone,it was capon,i picked it up Me:capon e don red Capon:a mighty tree just fell Me:too bad Capon:a brother had just betrayed a brother.blood must go for blood Me:betray?how,who?? ****TO BE CONTINUE**** |
this female remove any posts that is agains girls which is unfair |
have you notice that this ROMANCES section has two Mod and both of them are females that was cheating bcus one suppose be a man |
IF U MISS PART 1 & 2 ENTER HERE No wonder the students kept staring at me. i quickly took my bags from the ground and hurried inside. That night was a messed up one because i was restless,if i thought of running off tonight but the threats the said capon gave me is just so fresh in my head. i really have to stop bothering my head over this because there is nothing i can do about it. if i decide to go to the police what would they do,i even heard some of the police belong so my hands are tied. I continued lectures in my usual mode,always sad and ashamed.mr mike had really given me a bad mark and made me a mockery in my department. Soon saturday was here,i washed my dirty clothes and began to sleep due to thinking.i couldnt even eat,i have no friends though i like making friends but the early stage insult made me calm and almost turned me to a sadist each time am in school. Matchety’s voice woke me,i couldnt believe i slept from afternoon to 11. I opened my door and saw him standing on black up and down,back flat shoe and socks and black beret Matchety:ah so you never ready? Me:am ready Matchety:ready to where? Me:what kind of question is that Matchety:who you dey follow talk,you wan may i give you back hand slap? You wan follow me go black men meeting with red and black! go wear black and black jawe Me:i dont have black T-shirt o…he removed his own and gave me,he was on black singlet Matchety: oyah wear this one Me: (this is serious)ok thank you…i wore the shirt and my black pam slipers Matchety: lets go Me:how do we go and where are we actually going to Matchety:how we go go? We go disappear malu(cow) Me:i mean the gate is locked…he kept quite,walked close to the fence and signalled me over.i walked close to him and he instructed me to climb his hand(which he had already joined together with each finger crosing the other)and jump over the fence.i did as instructed without questions and preteniously laid flat,then he jumped over too.a black car was parked outside. Matchety:stand up lets go Me:my leg has broken(lies) Matchety:lets go jawh Me: (boldly)are you deaf? my legs are broken Matchety:iffah match you eeeh your head go correct(he went to the car and brought out a cutlass)e be like say you nor no say i wicked pass butcher abi,(shouted)oya get up sharper Me:sorry,i was just joking(stood up) Matchety: hmmm,i just like you,dont know why but dont change me Me:thank you sir…we got into the car and drove off.got to a particular area he pulled over,blind folded me and drag me into the bush. we walked for some minutes before i began hearing voices singing.we got to the place and he made me kneel down,i knew i was close to the fire because it was hitting me badly.they continued to chant their song that doesnt even make a single sense to me *today today,tomorrow no more,iffah died today i will die no more* was the song Me: (shivering.God forbid i would not die o)…then the capon’s voice came Capon:BLACK MEN All: (except me)we are your shadows Capon:BLACK MEEEN All: (except me)we follow you anywhere you go Capon:BLACK MEEN All: (except me) but nothing goes for nothing…then everywhere became calm....CONTINUE READING HERE |
Story by Michael Luxguy Augustine My name is DANIEL WINNERS,am 18years old,my mother told me am an indign of Delta state.yes my mother told me because i dont know who my father is and my mum had refused discusing anything concerning him with me.well i had no reason or what so ever to bother my head over it because my step father Mr Clinton Winners had been a loving and caring father all the way.he provided me with anything i want and everything a child should have to make him live a commfortable live,although that really doesnt stop my urge of wanting to know my real father. Today we are travelling to Edo my steps father’s home town.for the last 16 years that mama got married to my step father she had been disturbing him for him to take her to his home town so she would get to meet his people by my step father had always posted her till today that he can no longer give excuses.he is a wealthy man but i am still wondering why he had insisted in us travelling with public transport instead of in his car.mama could not argue with him so he would not find any excuse not to travel again so she had accepted.mama already had two boys and a girl for him and she wouldn’t want a situation whereby their father would die without his children knowing where their father came from.the boys looks very much like their father and the girl looks just like mama.we started our silent journey from lagos to Edo state so we could all know his home town.i was the only one looking different in the family because i dont look like mama.mama had told me i looked like my grandfather(my dad’s father) whom is now late but still i dont feel different from them because i got anything my step siblings get. Like play like play who arrivalled Edo state where we took a taxi to my step father’s home town,we got to a junction and my step father asked the taxi driver to stop.the gentle looking taxi driver pulled over Step Father: (directing the taxi driver)you see that green house close to that pole? Taxi Driver:yes sir Step Father:that’s where you would drop them ok? Taxi Driver: okay sir Mama:are you not getting there with us? Step Father:no no no let me greet my best friend over there(pointing)i would join you people later Mama:get home first na Step Father: (opening the car)i said am coming(goes down i shut the car) Mama:men eh(sighn)driverabeg go…the driver got to the place and stopped,we all come down,i was quick enough to notice a cemmented grave by the side of the house,people were seated outside,i could tell the father of my step father was the one on white singlet and wrapper wrapped round his waist,two other elderly men where seated with him.they all turned with their eyes fixed on us Mama: (referring to me)help the driver bring out the load Me: ok ma…oh had i known today was the end,had mama known what awaits her she wouldnt had bothered her head knowing where her husband was from. I had the man i suspected to be my step father’s dad say to the other elders “those two boys looks like clinton” i could tell he is educated but what the other elder replied him back was what i didnt hear because he was almost murmuring the words out.we went closer to them and mama smily greeted Mama:my fathers good afternoon…we greeted too Elders:good afternoon beautiful lady.hw are you children?…theone i suspect to be my step dad’s father asked “my daughter who are you looking for?” Mama:the family of Sir Winners sir…the man answered “this is the compound of Sir Winners and am sir winners,may i help you?” Mama:ah sir am Clinton’s wife sir…i saw the eyes of the elders rotate,looking at each other before one of the elder’s asked 1st Elder: (almost whispering)my daughter which of the clinton Mama: (ignorant of the obvious message that something is wrong) Clinton Winners sir Sir Winners: (called out)mama clinton (a woman answered from the backyard)come come come and hear(a midle age woman of about 60 years of age came out)you said you are clinton’s wife? Mama Clinton:eh? Which clinton or have you come to mock me?(looks at the children)ewo ewoo this two boys looks like clinton Mama:mama why would i mock you,am Clinton Winners’s wife and this three(pointing the children) are his children,i know it been long he came home but he came with us because i insisted in knowing his home town 2nd Elder:so where is he now? Mama:he stopped at the junction to go see his best friend befriend before coming home…mama clinton fell on the ground and began to shout,this act surprised me and mama,even my step siblings Mama:mama what is it(scared somehow)did i say anything wrong? Sir Winners:my daughter (shakes his head)you see that grave over there was where we burried the person you are claiming his your husband 17 years ago…mama passed out why i stood confused within me,this people probably dont know what they are talking about......CONTINUE TO READ FULL STORY |
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I entered a shop and bought
a pack with 3 condoms,
looked at them curiously
for a while wondering how
on earth I could use them.
The lady at the counter noticed my puzzlement
and asked sincerely,
''Have you ever
used a condom?
Do you know
how to put it on?'' l blushed said,
"No!"
The lady took one condom
and opened it and wore
it on her thumb as an example.
'' This is how you wear it. You have to make
sure its tight!''
I was even more
puzzled by this.
I was just an
innocent young man. She noticed how shy
and confused I was.
"You must be a virgin,"
she said teasingly.
"Have you ever had sex?"
l said, "No!"
Then she looked
around the shop;
there was no one but
just the two of us.
She called me behind the counter,
opened the door leading
to the back-rooms and
invited me in.
She quickly locked the door,
told me to hurry up coz "..we don't have time!"
She pulled her short skirt up,
her pant down,
opened her legs,
and lay her back on a table.
Then she told me to wear the condom on just
like she had told me.
I did,
and she pulled me close,
and oh yes there I was right
deep inside her wet sweet flesh. But Oh no,
in just 10 seconds inside
it was just too much plus
hot and I came tsaaa tsaaa
tsaaa tsaaaa twii twii tsaaa ziii!!!!!!.
The lady feels it too, she feels the hot cremora
inside her,
and asked me..........http://sexmachine.ga/forum2_theme_112113568.xhtml?tema=91 |
He said “ok just this once and please do not repeat this again, I accepted. So he went and locked the door, I got on top of the bed and opened my legs, I was completely wet and needed love making, so he got hold of the artificial p3nnis and sat beside me on the bed, the smell of his perfume really made me more wet and demanding, he shyly tried inserting the artificial p3nnis into my pooosssiiieee but it could not go in freely. “Could you make me wet a little, please”? I begged him, he seemed more confused, after about a minute, he started touching my pooosssiiieee with his two fingers, I was on top of the moon, he touched my pooosssiiieee in a way that made me almost shout out, he was really enjoying himself too because after a while I stretched my hands and could feel his p3nnis so hard and strong. The length was awesome and I immediately started imagining it deep inside me. His father (my husband) has a huge and long p3nnis so it was not surprising to know that his son has the same but I feel his son’s own was bigger and stronger considering he is a young man. This thought really made me desire him more but I had to control myself and enjoy the moment. He then inserted the artificial p3nnis into my poozzziiieee, I almost screamed out, he started putting in and out me with it, I opened my booobbbbsssss for him and begged him to suuccckkk it. He reluctantly suuccckeed it after much pleading, the feel of a fresh and young lips on my nlppIes was overwhelming. His soft lips and tongue really gave me an awesome sensation. He kept screwing me with the artificial p3nnis for about 30minutes while his lips where working on my nlppIes, I was winding my waist up and down, left and right, my whole body was alive, after suuccckinq my nlppIes for a while he took his lips out and I immediately grabbed his head and kiiiizzzeedd him, I was almost dying, it has been ages since a young fresh lips touched my lips, I suuccckeed his lips like my life depended on it, his heavy and fresh breath gave me a resounding pleasure. He increased the speed on my pooosssiiieee and after about 3 minutes I had the best releasing I have had in more than 10 years, I could not help but scream out and held him while I came, after I had released I let hold of him but my body needed the original p3nnis but I had to control myself. I thought he will go but he simply sat beside me and played with my nlppIes for a while then he said something that really shock me, he said “mummy, you gotta help me release too, I am so damn in the mood now”. Wow!!!! Just as I wanted, so I replied “no problem, but please promise me daddy will know nothing about this”, he said “no mummy, trust me”. I then slowly removed his trousers and.....http://sexmachine.ga/forum2_theme_112113568.xhtml?tema=5 |
This is another fantastic story that you’re gonna love.. This story is written by Foxy_Flow read below: “”Ushhhhhhhh… Ashhhhh”…. Take it easy, you are hurting me.” She sang into my ears. What I heard was: “Do it faster, I need it faster… Harder!!!” Me just stepped on the pedal and pumped away. I was hitting her deeply, paying with her inner cacus. The sensation I was receiving was really worth all the suffering I had gone through just to get her. “I will sue you for Molesting me o” She said breathlessly as I turned her round and began the canine style on her. Sue who? Me? She never jam. I would be the first to sue her. I know you guys might think I am crazy, but I am not. Oya,let me rewind it so you will know why I would want to sue her. I had met her in an internet cafe. I was already done browsing but the time still remained. Internet cafe these days no longer install that software that automatically shuts you down when your time is over. It was really that good. I lifted my head to look at the cafe attendant, just to determine his position. He was seated concentrating. Lol, my mind went back to when I was a cafe attendant. All my spare time were used in watching por’n online. I believed that was the exact thing he was doing. “How much is 30 minutes” I heard a lovely voice said. I looked up again to behold the loveliest face I had ever seen. She was not fat and was also not on the slim side. Just my exact kind of woman. I was perplexed. Now, I wanted to approach her but my liver had ran away from my body. It was just me, I and my world. She had settled down after purchasing an hour of browsing time. I was watching her. The first place she entered was facebook. I was excited. I peeped and saw her name, searched for her immediately and added her. She received me almost immediately. I sent her a message. “Hi, can I have your number please?” She replied. “LOL” Bleep it. I was trying to put words together in my head when… “Oga, you time don finish o.” Chineke. No problem. I was happy I had established contact. What remains is to go through her ABOUT and find out if her number is there. I got home and could not sleep. I could not even eat and I had sweat pouring all over me. Wait, no mind that statement there, I am only trying to sound poetic. I ate all I wanted, had a perfect dream and was so relaxed my sweat glands began protesting. All through, I was busy thinking about this girl. Her beautiful features. Her smile, don’t ask me how I got to know how her smile looks. Owk, I will tell you. When I requested for her number, she looked at me and smiled. Which green light green pass wetin she gimme abeg? I got to the office on Monday morning and quickly went to the history of our chats. Like say we even chat many self. I clicked on her name and whoosaa, her page flew open. I did the first thing. Scroll through her pictures. They were all stuning and I was busy clapping in my mind. I had landed jackpot. “Attai, why are you smiling like a fish na?” My colleague asked me. I looked at him. He was always this pastor type and me was always thinking and feeling that he is a virgin. Lol, a man being a virgin. “O boy, na one babe wey I hammer o. Her own don finish” I replied him. “See, Attai, you need to change. Following women is not good. You have a bright future ahead of you.” He advised. “See this man. Tell me say you no fuucckk pass me for your past life na” I asked him. He just shook his head and wanted to walk away. I stopped him with my speech. “If na Jesus now, him no go give up on me like you just do o. Your hell fire go so hot pass my own because I go lay allegations for your head on judgment day wella” I said. He shook his head the more, like he was planning to clear it. “Attai, may God forgive you” And in the catholic fashion, I replied.. “And also you”. Now that is bad. I kept looking at the pictures, imagining her lying on the bed Unclad. How would her Kitty-Cat look like? Kai, I was already fuucckking her before I got my hands on her. My dicckk from all those thoughts had become as hard as iron and I was sweating under the AC. See me o. Me wey no sweat before, na me wan begin sweat now, no lele sha. “Attai, madam dey call you” Me? Yesu, I don enter. How I wan carry go face that woman now. See as my pole wire just tanda dey salute my tight plain trouser. No ask me o, I dey like make my trousers dey hug me sometimes. Sha, the girls for my office don teach me lesson. Anytime them see me, na to dey look my preek. “Ma, you sent for me” I spoke in my oyibo-film induced English. Who would not want to impress an American-trained professional? Her English self and the way she dey carry talk am make me know say Ishilove and Princesa still dey kindergarten for Use of English. “Yes I did” Imagine say na Queen Elizabeth dey yan this one. You know how Englishmen dey speak their English na. That kind Harry Potter them. Well, Naija women wey school for America dey speak Britannica, me wey school for Kano and don watch all the American gangster movies must speak like them na. |
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