₦airaland Forum

7. When the person leading praise and worship starts singing an oyinbo song nobody knows.

Where do you think you are?

6. Nigerian choirs and “Jehovah you are the most high” X 1000

They must sing it.

5. When the choir hasn’t sung Kirk Franklin in two Sundays.

Something must be wrong.

4. When the choir leader tells you that you’re taking the solo on Sunday.

Just like that?

3. When you come for choir practice on Saturday and nobody is around.

You will now wait forever.

2. Every Nigerian choir’s best friend:

That Yamaha keyboard.

This got me cracking all through.. Oya lemme quickly post it. Where 'em ladies forming choir?? biko coman see o!

1. When your mother forces you to join the youth choir.

Hay God!

IffaCatchYouEhn:
[size=13pt]Name: Lai Mohammed
Nickname: Lion
Post held: Current Minister of Information and Culture
Achievements : Lied to a lie detector [/size]

Na joke ooh

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]

optional1:
LolZ


seconded

lolz

thirded

It was a typo error. Rectified already, thanks

ClitRaider:
Oga, change that "Race" in your topic to "Rape" abeg.

Last night ended on a sour note. I was innocently sitting, waiting for my turn at a barber's shop when my ears pricked on a conversation by a group of friends. I was unconcerned at first but I was left lost between utter dismay and shock with what I caught afterwards - the cruelest scenario I have ever heard of.
A 22 years old man raped a 9 years old girl in her father's compound. I couldn't believe my ears so I inquired more. Lo and behold, it was true! These young men took out time to narrate the scenario. The man, well armed with his devilish plan, had laid an ambush for the poor girl and pounced on her - like a tiger would do to a squirrel - when she was about stepping out of the compound to run an errand for her Grandma. He hacked her down, pinned her throat and raped her without conscience. He didn't just stop there. He threatened the girl, told her to choose between her life and revealing the act to anyone. The girl, not wanting to suffer more pain and trauma than she's currently passing through, kept to herself until her mother discovered and reported at the local police station.
While my tired brain was still trying to process and fathom the evil perpetrated by this unfortunate fellow, a man walked in and dropped a bombshell to our disheartenment. A man (32 years of age) had just been arrested by the police for raping a 6 YEARS OLD GIRL! He left the innocent little girl with a shattered pelvis and destroyed reproductive organ - which was salvaged thanks to the timely stitches carried out by doctors. Now, this man in question is married with 3 children; two daughters aged 18 and 15 respectively and an eight years old son. We just stared at him in disbelief.
However, there is a minute difference in both cases. While the former refused to own up to the crime and kept calling the precious name of Jesus as a witness, the other confessed but laid the whole blame at the feet of the devil. I am so sure the devil himself would have appeared before him and landed hot and dazing slaps on his face that will leave him blind forever - only if he would be kind enough to take some time off his busy schedule of manipulating people around.
Wearing a forlorn look, I had my haircut and dragged my worn-out body to my house.

Cases like this abound across the country but only a few gets to see limelight and scrutiny of the media and security forces. I remember I saw a headline on CNN at the bank earlier yesterday captioned,'India Rape Victim Gang-raped Again'. I practically waved it off with the typical Nigerian "e no concern me" attitude not knowing that a similar case has happened in my backyard.
We keep shying away from this issue but one can never tell who the next victim might be. Your daughter, my sister, my friend?? It is high time we battled this menace together and rid the society of this virus.

Some questions on the tablet of my heart remain unanswered.
1. Where do we go from here?
2. Should a stricter penalty - like mutilation of the private part coupled with life imprisonment, death sentence - be passed into law for rape offences?
3. What are the measures that can be put in place to curb child molestation and rape in our society?
4. What does the future hold for our daughters, sisters, cousins, who are rape victims?
5. Is my unborn daughter safe from this cruelty?
I hope this questions will be answered some day. Also, I sincerely hope that some day, some of our women will receive sense and march in protest for the right things that will guarantee a secure future for their children and grandchildren rather than throng the streets in protest against a senator for an alleged assault on another senator who is way past menopause.
I weep for this present - and the future - generation of this country whenever issues like this surface but I always cling to a tiny hope that this country will be brighter than it is right now.

HartIse:
Thanks Ianlaw, really grateful!
Please how long after test is one called for the interview if successful? & how many of such interviews are there??

Yw HartIse
I dunno.. We were told only candidates who are successful at the aptitude test will be contacted for the next stage - interview
The interview consists of 3 stages with each stage having different panel members from Zenith.
One need to pass one stage before he/she can move to the next

HartIse:
Hi guys, Good to be here. Plsss are calculators allowed for the test, how many hours is it, how many maths & English questions, what is the cut off mark, is the hr interview on the same day as the test? I anticipate your reply.. Thanks alot

¤calculator is allowed
¤dunno the cut off mark
¤ nope.. Only those who passed will be called for interview
¤logic, numeric, grammar, verbal reasoning (GMAT). 80 questions for 60minutes

temiyaks:
@lanlaw, kindly send d gmat to temiyaks@gmail.com and temiyaski@yahoo.com. Thank you sir.

Done sire!

Nikkyrose:
Thanks, I also did the test today, was among the first batch, how bout you?

Yeap, I did too.. First batch. I'm sure we met somehow

uneksoma:
Hello... me too... slated for wednesdae.... this helped...

Did you write today?

Nikkyrose:
Please who else was invited for the Zenith bank CBT on 25/05/2016, and can anyone please tell me the test format, thanks.

I did
TEST FORMAT -simple Gmat.
sentence correction, logical reasoning, numerical
problems, passage reading

thurpehgurl:
Pls u guys shud hlp me wt d barron gmath too biko...temmy4moon@yahoo.com or gistwitttopzii2000@gmail.com...tnx

I don't have baron but I've got couple of GMAT past questions that could help. Lemme know if you're interested

fiquo:
Kindly forward it to me too. thanks...fikky4u69@gmail.com

Kindly forward the Baron GMAT test to me .. Larrielawrence@yahoo.com
I got the message from people plus last evening and I'm schedule for wednesday by 9am. Anyone else in my shoes??