₦airaland Forum

If you belong in any of these, then, it's time you have a rethink about your entire existence especially as a man.
A man is weak if he shows the following signs:

1. He is Addicted to Porn
2. He's always Worried About what people think about Him
3. He's Afraid to say "NO"
4. Have No Goals in Life
5. Have self-Doubt
6. Prioritize Pleasure over everything else.
7. Having High expectations from everyone
8. Constant Excuses and Whining about their Problems
9. Low self-esteem and Low confidence
10. Blaming Others for their miserable life.

The only Solution you need here is IDENTITY-Shifting.

Loisemm2:
Are you aware that if anything bad happens to any kid or even adult you give edibles to, you will be held responsible. And are you aware that the mentality of the people in your environment won't let them reason with you. They may even kpai or seriously maim you before help comes. Or if it doesn't get to this, your name could be soiled for something you truly had no hand in.

Probably if you keep this in mind, you will stop risking your reputation and life in that environment.

In this life, where possible its better to give money and non-edibles than edibles. In your case, stop all for now or reduce all drastically. They will respect you more. Seems ironic.

Alright. Thanks

stanvesco:
You are buying their love unconsciously. This is stemming from the fact that you don't have parents or siblings!

You need to see a psychologist so you can undergoes a psychotherapeutic session.
You are using money to buy love and attention and that's the most devastating thing one can do!


Lol!
If you were a bad boy this would have being the most seductive tool in your hand! However,you are like osho-free now. The male version of a loose girl.

You know the way men despise ladies that give out sex freely to everyone? That's how those women and children would despise you for giving out things to everyone without collecting anything in return!


It's easy for you to flip the coin tho but as a professional I cannot type such here

Some of you are so uncouth

ZombieDredd:
You don't want to take correction

You cannot and can never save the world.
Only Jesus can do that.

What you are engaging in is financial recklessness.

Tell this same story to you parents and see the response you will get.

You can't save everyone, you will go broke and they will still mock you

I'm not sure u even read my story, you just jumped into making this comment without reading first. If you read it, you'd see where I talked about my parents.

ogaemma:
For no reason should you encourage your children to join the Nigeria Army, Police and Correctional Service.
Many motor park boys are living far better than them.
They are slaves in uniform.

Exactly bro.
Why will I ever allow my loved one to join the Nigerian army?
God forbid bad tin

henrycloud:
The problem is that you currently lack wisdom, probably immature too

Nawao oo..
You're really uncouth and ill-mannered.
Why these insults for God's sakes?
If u were mature and had wisdom, you wouldn't utter this

To solve one error, you need to comitt one or two more blunders. This will rectify the initial error.
Thanks

Kaido:
I stopped being Mr Nice Guy in 2020.

Make I shock you OP, if one of those people you are assisting eventually gets a huge some of money, you can never smell their #400 to buy a bag of pure water.

Currently, I only help who fit help me tomorrow or if you genuinely need kindness, I go assist without expecting anything.

Finally, you need to reprogram your mind to always say NO and resist that urge of buying anything for those kids. A parent might accuse you of bewitching her kids with biscuits. Just dey careful

You're right bro. I am tired of human beings

Foodqueen:
Your monicker carries female. It's only male bachelors that I know act this why.

Why would you allow yourself to be used like this. This same people are busy calling you maga behind you.

I'm male

samwash:
If you know you can't cope just leave that environment. You need to set boundaries, this life nor too hard, na we dey make ham dey different for ourselves.

Wish I have the resources to pack out. That's just the best

Cum4me:
Try park from that environment and never repeat such generosity in your next environment. Use your head before them use am for you

I wish I had the means to park out of same environment. I've already put myself in trouble. As I'm about to stop now, it will result in insults from same people. This life!

Double0h7:
I’m a generous person but your story angered me and I had to stop reading. I need to process this and come back later to finish my thesis.

Honestly I feel sorry for myself. I feel stupid

Bahamas95:
I stopped reading half way because I was getting angry, my mum did similar things for people but they all repaid her with evil so I swore never to follow that path.

I set boundaries when helping people, OP you made a big mistake allowing them to turn you to their maga......These same people will soon start raining insults on you once you stop helping them because of entitlement mentality.


You better quit now before it gets too late.

Honestly, they will soon start insulting me. I regret why I even started in the first place

onome25:
😭😭😭😭😭😭I'm honestly touched.

It's well

Kobojunkie:
You presented yourself as Santa Claus to them for a time, but are now complaining that the people see you as Santa Claus?

Every individual out there has their very own philosophy which they live by; they owe you jack sheet when it comes to your philosophy. So, you need to learn to put on your big boy pants and adopt the use of the word, "No!" whenever possible. Learn to say no, and people will realize Santa Claus has left town.

Hahahaha, nice one.
I will. Thanks

iamoyindamola:
I thought your spirit led you, let your spirit continue to lead you to spend all your earnings

I already know your likes, so I'm really not surprised at your comment. Try read to understand next time

Brethren, I'm lost here. How do I handle this without creating any atom of conflict?

I've been living in this neighborhood for almost five years. As a young man still struggling, I understand what people, especially the married ones with children, go through, when you consider the economy of Nigeria and the poor income.

I'm an introvert. I appear very shy but I'm not, in fact. I don't just believe in talking too much, especially unnecessarily. I'm gentle and seemingly soft. I want to see people happy even if it's at my own detriment. I'm incurably and incredibly Generous to people and it's really affecting me. I'm too softhearted.
In my neighborhood, I have little children I always buy things for. Almost everyday, I'm buying something for a child or children around my vicinity. Coke, biscuits and sometimes clothes. Same goes to their parents who are largely unschooled, I give them money and buy them malt. Thing is, once I do for one person privately, the person goes to tell another, and they keep coming. The cycle just continues like that. There's a particular widow who is a farmer with five children, I assist her with little money almost every week. I do this because my spirit asked me to do so, not because the widow asked me. I have in my own little way assisted almost everyone around here, not because I have, but because that's who I am. I am not doing so to please anyone or get praised.
I'm not married, I don't even have a good job, I live in a room self-con and sometimes struggle to feed.
The issue now is, whenever these children see me, they now see me as their father Christmas. Once they spot me, it's how they can take money off me that they are concerned about. Now let's agree they are children and know nothing much about life. Now how about their parents(Mothers)?. These women can beg for Africa. I've been turned into a fool(according to them). If they come across me in a provision shop trying to buy a sachet of pure water for myself, they will come and meet me to buy something for them. This happens all the time. At first, I used to think they were joking. But no they aren't joking.
I have a woman neighbor who had just put to bed three months ago. She sells pure water and minerals right in her house. When she gave birth, I went to greet her, gave the baby some money. Then after two weeks, I saw her again, I jokingly said I would get the baby Hollandia yoghurt, the next day, I gave her a thousand naira for the baby to buy the Hollandia yoghurt but to my dismay, she collected it and said that the money wasn't enough for the yoghurt and I added a thousand five hundred naira- of course, I know the baby doesn't drink yoghurt. At least not now. This is a woman that I buy her drinks and water everyday, I buy for her children and even give them money. I pay her over three thousand for drinks and water every week. Again, I saw her carrying her baby in the sun 🌞, I met her on the road and asked why she wasn't Carrying an umbrella, but she said she didn't have. She now said, "Abi u get umbrella for house make I come carry am dey use" ?. In my mind, I said, no vex o.. na me find trouble. Just yesterday, while I went to pay her for drinks and water her children and a few other children consumed, immediately I approached her house and asked one of the children about his mum, the woman overhead me even before coming out to attend to me, she now asked if I came with Bread. " Hope u bring bread for us"? I asked her which Bread, with which money?. Once her children hear my voice, the six of them would come outside to wait for me so I can share money to them.
If I go out to buy something in a nylon, they want to know what is in the nylon. If I'm going out, they will tell me not to forget them o. All these are getting me really irritated. I'm someone who can not be predicted. My anger isn't good and if I'm pushed to the wall, I can react in manner that even me would end up regretting why I reacted in such manner.
The troubling part is, these are not people that have ever helped me in any way. They can't even help. There was a day I took a bike to my house and discovered I wasn't having anything in my wallet, and it was very late. I couldn't go out again to use the POS, so I collected three hundred naira from one of the women who benefits from me and paid the bike-man. Do you know that, before I woke up the next morning, same woman had sent her son to knock on my door to get her money back?. There are times I can't even afford pure water to drink, and I can't run to such people for help. I'm really worried because I've been taken advantage of. It's really very embarrassing and insulting to me right now.
We should be able to help one another. That's my philosophy about life, but it seems being nice to some certain persons is now a big problem. The day you stop, you become an enemy. My issue is, I hardly say no to their incessant and unnecessary requests.
Same thing goes to my family, I don't have parents or siblings. But my cousins won't let me rest. Once they try to chat you up on the social media, just know that they are about to make financial demands on you. If they call and you don't pick, they complain too. I'm tired. Should I change my line and social media accounts? I don't think so.

Nlfpmod Seun Lalasticlala Mynd44

chukwutee:
About what?? Have you worried about yourself?

Stop taking things too personal mister man.
Well, I understand how tough thing are.

So what should we do with this news?
We don't even know him.
Do you know how many nairalanders have their birthdays today?
Who have you posted?
If it was me that made this post celebrating myself or any other nairalander, the post would be deleted and I'll be banned. Again, it will never make the front page. Never

This is a Bombastic side eye from Mr. Yusufuuu Buhari.
Should Tinubu be worried?

This photo was taken at the State House, Abuja during the Federal Executive council meeting after the burial of the late president Buhari.
Yusuf Buhari and his siblings were invited.

When they were in power, former First Lady Aisha Buhari was in a constant battle for control of her husband and power with the power brokers around her husband.

Apparently, her late husband trusted a group of cronies led by his nephew Mamman Daura, Sabiu Tunde, and the late Abba Kyari, who were in charge and were the de facto presidents.

Thus, they were in charge and determined who got what.

That Emiefele was so powerful because of the power they allowed him as CBN governor.

According to some schools of thought, if the late Abba Kyari were to be alive, he would not have allowed the current president, Asiwaju, to emerge as the APC presidential flag bearer, let alone win the election.

Before they left power, Buhari's nephew, Sabiu Tunde, was the richest young Nigerian under 40.

Aisha Buhari was relegated to the background and was told by her husband that she belonged in the kitchen when she complained.

She fought, she wailed, and she became a podcaster at one point.

She would give orders as the wife of a sitting president, but Mamman Daura or Sabiu Tunde would overrule her, knowing nothing would happen.

Aisha Buhari's case was made worse by the fact that Buhari comes from a feudalist culture that has no regard for women.

Aisha Buhari and Tunde Sabiu once had an intense clash at Aso Rock that had her ADC shooting at him; the man scaled the fence of Aso Rock, running for his life.

As expected, the late Buhari sided with his nephew, Sabiu Tunde, against his wife, and Aisha's security operatives, who attempted to kill Tunde, were picked up and arrested by the then Inspector General of Police.

Aisha had to come on social media to appeal to the IGP to release her security operatives because she was powerless.

Tunde gave an order for their arrest, and there was nothing she could do to reverse it.

Frustrated by the humiliation she received at the hands of the power cabal, Aisha had to relocate from Nigeria to Dubai before moving to the UK.

The power cabal even made attempts to marry a second wife for the late Buhari at the height of their fight with Aisha, just to humiliate her further.

Buhari disrespected his wife and allowed wolves to ravage her in a way that Tinubu has not done to his wife, Remi.

Today, Muhammadu Buhari is no more, but before he died, he was nursed and taken care of by Aisha Buhari and the kids on his sickbed.

Sabiu Tunde, who was fond of humiliating her, was nowhere to be found.

When he died, it was still the same Aisha and the kids who brought his corpse home.

Mamman Daura was in the UK, convalescing, and could not make the trip home.

A lesson for my generation of men: when you become rich and powerful, take care of your wife and kids; bring them close, more than any other person, no matter how loyal the person is to you.

Don't allow a third party to come between you and your wife because of money and power.

When the chips are down, your family is all that you have left.

Every other person will move on. I have seen this happen again and again.

Nlfpmod Seun

~Written by Chukwudi Iwuchukwu (Nairalander)

Peter obi has done nothing wrong by not attending Buhari's burial. When Buhari was alive, he didn't attend a lot of burial ceremonies he was supposed to attend .
When His chief of army staff died he didn't attend.
When Late president Yar Adua died, Buhari refused to attend or even send condolences, same thing when Yar Adua's elder brother and mom died, despite being indigenes of the same state.
When our very respected former governor and leader Prince Abubakar Audu died, Buhari did not even attend or send any official condolences.
I see no reason why people should be judged for not attending the burial ceremony of a man who beefed people even in death. This is just a very cheap political gimmick to assess people but I believe it is dead on arrival.

Nlfpmod

Nigeria's most powerful Former Vice President in the history of Vice presidents, His Excellency, Ahaji Atiku Abubakar, a founding member of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP), has officially resigned from the party.

In a letter dated July 14, 2025, and addressed to the PDP Ward Chairman in Jada 1 Ward, Jada Local Government Area of Adamawa State, Atiku stated that his resignation takes immediate effect.

The former Vice President, who served from 1999 to 2007 and contested for the presidency under the PDP platform twice, expressed deep gratitude for the opportunities given to him by the party over the years.

He described his decision to step away as “heartbreaking,” especially considering his role as a founding father of the PDP.

However, Atiku cited what he called the party’s current trajectory, which he believes has diverged from its founding principles, as the reason for his exit.

According to him, irreconcilable differences have emerged within the party forcing him to part ways.

Nlfpmod Seun


https://www.facebook.com/100064534426548/posts/pfbid031BkawDb83YkqGy6u4A4NmQphGunP8gTTTKy2v4NrRV8BeTvndgcmnifWWLqoXJhwl/?app=fbl

tommy589:
It applies sometimes but I think determination not to be constrained by circumstances of poor background helps mostly.
It reminds me of a close friend struggling with house rent that attended a church revival many years ago. Knowing no one in his family has ever owned a house,he said he could not mutter a word when worshippers were asked to pray for landed properties in the next 12 months.
His story changed years after. He has turned out excellently well beyond his own expectations

Oh God, give me this testimony. I've suffered for too long

Munzy14:
We are not in class room. It's a discussion and not an ITK orientation camp.

Once dey correct una errors,it becomes ITK.😂😂

You should correct yourself first.

I believe you didn't do comprehension passage in English while you were in High sch. If you did, you wouldn't be saying this. I made a post asking to know and you're here telling me that I didn't answer same question. Am I supposed to give a definite answer?
I don't need you on this post

Berankis:
When we say marriage is not for children, this is what we mean...
I always remember a friend and colleague of mine at about 10years ago who asked me if I was married and I said Yes. The next thing he uttered was, "Omo you are enjoying o... You will just be knacking anyhow you want!". I just looked at him and smiled, say this one no know anything.
Marry first na... then you will know better. Till now the guy is still single with white beards everywhere, but he relocated to Canada anyway. Good luck to everyone...

Answer

Munzy14:
You didn't react actually to the question you asked.
Because, the question you asked is one that simply require yes or No.

YES!
How you turned out today would have been different if the huge funds and resources where there from the foundation stage. Check am na.
Family is your first and biggest influence throughout your life. It will position your mindset which determines your life setting.

How do you answer a question you're asking, Oga?
Your teacher sets an exam for you to answer and you're expecting same teacher to answer it?
Nawa to you o guy. Una ITK don dey too much o

Sonnobax15:

You're the reason nairaland is asking for 40 characters

Do you believe, or think that your parents financial status whether rich or poor has any bearing on your adulthood and how you turn out in life?

To me, it has a lot to do with how your life eventually turns out. When parents are poor, they lack the contacts, they lack the necessary connections and resources to push their children towards achieving their dreams. It is even much worse when such parents die leaving their children at the Mercies of their relatives.
But for rich parents, who have connections, contacts and resources, the opposite of the above becomes the case.
Many young guys are doing well today because they came from a well-to-do background and everything was already made easy for them by their parents. The parents have already laid a solid foundation for their children and even after death, their children will never suffer.

I come from an extremely poor background. Such that no member of my mum's family/lineage has ever had a car. Only one from my dad's family has a car. I lost my parents from childhood and as an adult, I still face several life's challenges since they were poor, had no connection or contact. They left nothing to us. I only inherited my late father's oversized cloths and an old bicycle. Not even a handset, I inherited a landline telephone.
But in all these, I've come to the conclusion that it is not the family we come from that matters, but the family we make afterwards.

Nlfpmod Seun

I'm advocating for the return of fuel subsidy.
Let those politicians who are stealing from the subsidy payment continue stealing, no problem.
Now that the subsidy was removed earlier, have the politicians stop stealing?
Life is now much worse