₦airaland Forum

NairalandCS:
Op just need correct Diick to reset him brain.

Lubbish.

Carry your dick go pay tithe. Na brocus go teach a man tolerance, kindness, patience and restraint?

2SWT:
This your epistle get as e be

My sister na as I see am.

KvnqPrezo:
I'm coming

Are you sure?

So I'm 30 this year.

Some years ago, after a certain situation. I decided to be celibate, the same week I decided to be single. I've been celibate single by choice. I was 25 years and seven months when I made that decision.

At first, I liked the no pressure, then the peace. No sex pressure, arguements, different opinion clashes. I don't have to take pics and send to him everytime.

But after some months, it was lonely. I missed walking with boyfriend, going to movie. In rainy season it is hard, I feel the loneliness so much. But as dry season came it got better.

I began to focus more on my career. I have become more self reliant. I started having less friends, withdrew myself from events. Became a more indoor person. I have found peace within myself.

Sometimes I see news of guys beating thier girlfriends, cheating, doing mean things. And it encourages me to stay single.

But there are always news of guys doing very romantic things for thier girlfriend that sometimes encourages me to be in a relationship.

But as months went by, I am became more and more happy. And people comment about my single life were not hurting me. When I see happy couple I am for them, and not bothered. I have this inner peace.

As I grew older, I realised a lot of men are insecure, and just want submissive fool they can control. Now, I am very bold, just the other day, I was in a queue, and a guy tried to intimidate I stood up to him. And I am beginning to dislike women, who supports when a man mistreats a woman.

As I've been getting older, less and less guys are asking me out. This year only two guys have toasted me.

My family is not happy with me. The pressure from them is so much now to get married. I have told them to be patient, if I meet a man who believe in equal rights I will date and marry him. But they don't want to understand it is just to get married, for them to know that I am married.

I just can't trust a man, most of them are lying cheats, who wants someone to take care of them. Pressure force you to have sex when you don't feel like it. Become mean when you don't give it to him. Use my trust against me, the words I told him when he was toasting, things that I don't like to use it against me.

Act nice when he is toasting you, become difficult when you are his girlfriend, he will be so different. Arrogant mean.

I see some girls in a happy relationship showing off thier guys, good for them. I have stop to compare myself to what society expects.

And everybody concern is for me to get married. It has turn to such a situation, that my few friends divert most of our conversations to my getting married.

But I'm a realistic person. Most marriages are downright horrible for women. You are responsible for co-providing, then you must do all the household chores, if you get a nanny to assist you, the husband will sleep with her. Possibly get her pregnant. Or his family will say you are lazy for having a nanny. And he digusting status quo, in our society that is bent on humiliating women to ego up the men. Men are so mean, beating thier wives, leaving thier wives to marry a younger woman.

There are good men out there. Few. Rare. This kind of nem do not see a woman as inferior to them. They treat a woman without the biased of African tradition that promotes the misuse and abuse of women. How is it that a woman must not complain, accept and not divorce a husband that has a sidechick.

Some of my neighbours don't like I am single, they don't answer my greeting. They gossip me in my area that no man will marry me, that I am old cargo, mambala.

One of my few friends told me that "secretly inside I am desperate to get married, that I am lonely miserable and no man will marry me if I continue this my character"

I told him that I don't care about marrying a man that does not believe men and women are equal. And most Nigerian women are miserable in thier marriage. They just keep quiet, and keep on submitting to the man, just to remain married. Afraid he would divorce her if she stands up to him. To avoid
society mocking them if the men drive them out of the house.

I have made my peace with the reality of our society and Nigeria. Men will always think they are doing the woman a favour by marrying her.

No man is doing me any favour by marrying me. He does not pay my bills, I will be earning my money as he earns his. Men and women should have equal rights.

But it is only when it comes to equal rights that a guy would say we are not westerners. We are Africans. But you can carry mobile phones is it in African culture? Is it in African culture to use atm machine, did your forefathers invent it? But you have accepted it. You have accepted technology now as part of your culture.

But when it comes to treating a woman as your equal partner, not a submissive slave it is not your culture? When it comes to a woman of 30, not rushing to get married it is not African culture? I must be married because I'm 30. Or people will be mean and choose not to see anything good about me because I am not married.

I would rather be single than to be married to a wicked man that would pretend he is good. Till he gets what he wants then he will show his true character.

It is a good thing to get married and have children. I love children, and it is the only thing that warms my heart when I think of marriage.

God time is the best if I meet a good man, not the pretentious mean ones. I just want my family and few friends to understand.