₦airaland Forum

IdeyFindWife:
Losing his dad need not turn him into some vegetable-like mummy's boy, doing that is his own choice. He is overcompensating and you need not be the victim.

You need to embrace the possibility that his calling mom every other hour might make her a major factor in his, and your, decision-making dynamics for a long time to come? Hence, are you gonna be comfortable with knowing that it was 'mom' who practically handpicked the sexy loungerie he got you last Valentine OR that he discusses certain embarrassing intimacies of your lovelife with her? Wake up!!

Is he his own man? Does he own his own mind, faults, choices and victories? His plan for living, how much of mom's input is in that? You need to know because once you marry him. His reality becomes partly yours. So, if he is see in life through fragmented lenses, the sight might affect your viewpoint too.

Get qualified and strategic counseling and put your foot down in that relationship. Don't just marry that guy like that. Its normal, in fact, very cool to be close-to-mom but if you find out that he is on some arrested-development trip, fire his arss!

Tis guy u never still see wife up till now make u change ur moniker?

NaijaMutant:
Seun, mynd44
kindly get rid of this nuisance

Whats the meaning of mynd44?

stephleena:
looking more like a couple...seems the man,is tapping some current @the fifth pix

Ur mouth ehnnnn...pls send me a PM.I need ur BBM pin...

God bless you son.You shallnot die before your time in Jesus name.

Can u guys see y its good to be famous?Laura is only famous because she is Linda Ikeji's sister and Papillo is her brother-in-law.

poshestmina:
I haven't seen that man a woman cannot bring down. God has not created him .

They should have kept Amaka's involvement hidden na ,this NPF self! they have put the lady in a big danger.

They dont have to keep Amaka's involvement hidden as she benefitted from the billions he earned from kidnapping.

carammel:
The guy is cute though.

Why wouldnt he be cute when u r a gold digger like the ladies he is referring to...

efficiencie:
Men and women are equal...that is a laughable delusion taken far enough to border on outright insanity!

The only thing laughable is you are still stuck in your hut, when you decide to relocate from your village you will discover this is the twenty-first century.

efficiencie:
If a man is equal to a woman then they will have the same genitals, the same frame, the same frailties, the same strengths, the same roles, the same challenges, the same socially ascribed privileges and the same realities...Hence a woman being equal to a man should not need a man for anything!

What does a woman need a man for? Are women not going to school, graduating? Earning salaries? There are Nigerian women refusing bride price because they don't want to be bought. In countries like America there is no bride price. In India its women that even pay the bride price. Please educate yourself. Are women not presidents, prime ministers? Women are paying for thier weddings, sometimes the couple split the wedding cost equally.

It's low self-esteem women that want to depend on a man, most of those girls are happy to be baby mama's. Most of them have been raised to feel inferior to a man. They've been told they are not equal to thier brothers. They have been taught to depend on a man for everything.[/quote]

efficiencie:
Hence a woman being equal to a man should not need a man for anything!

What does a woman need a man for? Are women not earning salaries, paying thier bills.

proudafrogal:
before you start with your church and Christ ask the op if she is Christian

I am a Christian. It is quite complicated I have been a Pentecostal then Catholic then Pentecostal then back to Catholic. I am just so tired of churches, but I believe in Jehovah, the I am that I am, I believe in Jesus, I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe in some parts of the bible, I don't believe in the part that says women must be submissive to men.

There was a miracle that happen to me four years ago, the most traumatic night of my life it involved my life in danger ( I choose not to reveal exactly what happened its very private) God saved me twice that night. That night I believed in God 100% I would have not made it without him. It is the greatest miracle in my life. About a year and a few months later when I was sick of the Pentecostal church I was attending, uncessary demands of my time, energy and what not, God revealed to me that I can worship Him on my own in Spirit and in truth. So I started fellowship witn God at home every Sunday. And I learnt a lot, after a year plus, he lead me to Catholic Church telling me that all Churches are almost the same, they serve Him in different ways. He told me that Catholic was more suitable to my personality, so I am back to Catholic now.

The Holy Spirit has revealed to me the Bible is still being written. That a lot of pastors, evangelists, pope words are going to be added to the Bible. Thier miracles, crusades its going to be added. Female pastors, evangelists are going to be added to. The Holy Spirit revealed to me, that God stance towards the female race has changed. That God heart changes: like the Old testament and the New Testament, there is going to be another testament.


I respect other's religion. Different people are different. Religion sometimes is attached to culture and tradition. Whether a person is Muslim, Atheist, Buddist, Hindu I respect thier religion.

ichuka:
So OP is The Church equal to Christ? Just asking.

How is this relevant to the topic?

ScepticalPyrrho:
Men and women are not equal in strength... inarguably. If you are arguing for equality on the basis of the law, men and women are equal.

I detest bullies. I think the law is justified.

But, if you go around insulting or provoking men because of the support of the law for equality, a man could bash your teeth in before the law catches up with him. By the time, you've lost your teeth and whatever pride you have in your beautiful face forever.

Men and women are equal according to the law, but nature has designed men to be physically stronger, always keep that in mind whenever you have a tussle with any man.

Hmmm

proudafrogal:
-

"only a foolish man says men and women are not equal"

hmmm in that case a lot of so called men on nairaland are foolish o.

anyway sorry to derail how do I embolden a text when quoting somebody?

Nairaland is quite confusing to me o, just my previous post I put the smiling emoji, it quoted the person I was replying twice. Everytime I use an emoji it double quotes. As for this embolden text, I will try and practise to see how to do it if it will work out, then I will message you.

An2elect2:
Yes Op men and women are equal and deserve equal treatment. What happened to you was ridiculous. And what he said to you was very foolish. Men are not made men to boast in their manhood but to be responsible for their environments, lead as examples and protect the weaker ones.

And true women are ordained by God to refrain from dominating men but if we are being disrespected or maltreated we can report to the necessary authority, best for a Christian woman to "go the extra mile" ie After letting him know he is wrong still do as he say and be very nice to him. Let his conscience be the judge.

A foolish man is a man that has no control over himself, proud, disrespectful and has no fear of God in his eyes.

Only a foolish man says "men and women are not equal"

Thanks you are an empowered female amd a role model for change.

An2elect2:
Yes Op men and women are equal and deserve equal treatment. What happened to you was ridiculous. And what he said to you was very foolish. Men are not made men to boast in their manhood but to be responsible for their environments, lead as examples and protect the weaker ones.

And true women are ordained by God to refrain from dominating men but if we are being disrespected or maltreated we can report to the necessary authority, best for a Christian woman to "go the extra mile" ie After letting him know he is wrong still do as he say and be very nice to him. Let his conscience be the judge.

A foolish man is a man that has no control over himself, proud, disrespectful and has no fear of God in his eyes.

Only a foolish man says "men and women are not equal"

Thanks you are an empowered female amd a role model for change.

Yes men and women are equal. We have equal rights.

Being better person ke, I should allow a bully to claim a spot that wasn't his. Most of you men are just the same.

I've had it with misogynistic men, who always feel superior and think a woman should be submissive or beg for thier favor. This stranger is acting like he is right, and he is wrong. He is the one, who is claiming he came before me on the queue. But, I came first before him, and he is trying to intimidate me.

Enough is enough. I've put up with this barbaric, outlandish African tradition, that society will see a woman wrong once she is demanding her right, just because I said we have equal rights, he said I am a woman I can never be equal to him or any man. Other men and some women jump in to defend him saying, I was wrong to state that.

Another woman tried to call me aside from the queue to try to explain something to me, when I refused to leave. She decided to talk to me where I am, saying that a woman must always be of meek temperament, and when a man is angry I should be the one to calm him, because a man can overpower me and I would not be able to do anything.

That God did not create man and woman as equal and I should not say it again. I was so disgusted at her words. I decided to leave. As the man said he would rather be taken to police station than for me to use stand before him on the ATM queue on his spot, which is mine, because I came first. Everyone told me to let him stand in front, I decided to leave and go to use another bank atm. Which is quite far about 6 mins of walking.

As I was leaving, a young girl around 23 , now called me to use her turn, it was her turn which is about four people ahead of the spot, she was very kind offered me her spot, I thanked her as she stepped out of the spot, allowing me to stand there and she walked to the back of the queue. The man was so angry, he came to meet me, and streched his hands to grab my arms to pull me out of the queue, saying he would rather be arrested, than for me to use the ATM before him. He said I dared to say I am equal to him, he said he will beat me up, he will naked me. Two men grabbed him to hold him back, one was a bank security staff.

I was so upset, I started to walk away. Because I don't want any stupid video of me on the internet people were already staring. Im very petite in statue, maybe this is the reason why he picked up the issue with me in the first place, from the moment he cleared his throat at my back and said I dey your front oo. I knew he was a troublemaker.

People on the queue in front of him saw him walked into the bank, then stand behind me on the queue, how can he now claim he is in front of me. How can these same people defend him. How can this arrogant mad man think that I am inferior to him because I'm a woman.

Born2Freak:
In this country, marriage for an atheist is a difficult thing. 90% of the available single ladies and gentlemen are religious. To be precise, the religious people would mostly be either christians or muslims.

I for one, do not want to get married in a church. Who has time for couple's counselling. Who has time to waste in 2 hours sermon about marriage?

Also, for a woman, I do not want to be beaten to death by an angry fiancee over not going to their church or mosque.


Life is short.

This is tough situation you are going through, I hope it works out for you. Though we live in a very religious country, there are a lot of people that are not. Hopefully, you will meet someone.

Religion is so complicated. I have been a Catholic, protestant, back to Catholic. I have accepted that religion is complicated, and it is impossible to please God in the planet we live. There is so much wickedness, divisiveness and the bible too is very strict. And as a woman, I have made my peace that God is a man, and his laws favours men.

Humanity should come first.

Fourwinds:
look at what u wish for urself....u are only deceiving urself...there can never be equality....IF don't know if u are a Christian just to say......are d angels equal to d Son.? there can only be fairness....this ur outlook will be put to test and rest few years from now

We must not forget that few males from the beginning of time, right from Adam and Eve have had not much concern for the welfare of females other than having sex with them, children, marrying. Even the bible is written by men, and of course they put thierselves first, thier ego first.
Most women in the bible where either chasing a man to marry her like Ruth, or looking up to a man to solve her problem.

It was okay for the righteous men to marry several wives and have many concubines. There were few holy men like Abraham that was content with one wife.

History has taught us that, once upon a time, that the below was culture and accepted norm, any woman that did not conform to it, was stigmatised and mocked in society and considered a shame, they were punished. Some of them were beaten, some were killed.

A WOMAN COULD NOT:
inherit property - England, and so many other places
vote in elections whatsover (women fought for the right to vote)
wear trousers
could not go to school, could not have an education
when her husband died the wife must be buried with her husband
cannot drive a car - modern day Saudi
women must be escorted by a male family member - modern-day-you-know-where
when her husband dies - the body of the husband is washed and the woman must drink the water - to prove she did not kill her husband ( the men never drink thier dead wife washed body when she dies) - Nigeria
a female (royal princess) could not rule, only the male (prince) could rule, if the King did not have a son it would pass on to another relative with a male -England, and many other places

The inequality goes on and on, there are so many things that happened that will seem absurd to you now. Males have always been selfush, insecure and intimidated by equality between them and females.

Some women were fine with it, some woman disliked I, but conformed to it because of the fear of being stigmatized which includes, no man will marry her, her family will be mocked, she would be abused, gossiped, hated. But some women of those times stood up against it, stood up for what they believed in. It was hard, some of those women were killed.

I'm sure a lot of women thought and saw them as arrogance.
But today, a lot of women around the world are enjoying the privilege.

Now there was some good men, a lot of good men that saw some pf the above mentioned as wrong, and fought, protested along with the women to demand change. There are still many good men.

Thankfully, the future is going to be a better place for females. Hundred years from now, in Nigeria which man will think he is under juju, or is doing he is wife a favour, when he washing plates, cooks, back the babybon his back while doing the housechores, goes to the market. It will be a normal thing as it ought to be. Only selfish males, and gutless females, would think that those duties are solely for the woman.

Oh, and more women will be answering thier maiden names even after marriage. And so many more wonderful changes.

Time is kind to change.

kimbra:
You're just scared of ending up with the wrong person. Since you know there are "Few" good men, then keep your options open. Most men don't want women who have an air of arrogance. For me, the equal treatment should be in the both of you treating yourselves the way you've want to be treated and not in sharing some chores 50/50. Don't let society and some failed marriages be your parameter to judge other future marriage outcomes.

Stay optimistic!.

Thanks Kimbra. Yeah, there are good men out there.

Regarding arrogance, its obvious there is a fine line between arrogance and high self esteem. Which a lot of women and especially young girls lack in our clime, because they have been taught not to demand equality.

Yeah, there are a lot of good marriages. For every negative, there's a positive.

Happy weekend!

Fourwinds:
and u believe I'm d only with such opinion rite

Stop slamming Khayella, she gave me a kind advise. With regards, to your above there are way many more mean men like you in the world, especially Nigeria.

Khallyella:
Tbh, these days, it's not all about getting married that matters, sometimes, people get married cause of the pressure, if you really don't wanna get married(stayed tied to a man forever), just go for a contract marriage, get the number of kids you can take care of and y'all go separate ways, most of the men/guys nowadays are cheats, you can only pray to be the one who's got his heart and not just of the numerous d##k sharers(side-chics), not wanting to get married cause men are cheats is just like not wanting to be in a country where it doesn't rain, it rains everywhere but not everytime.

This is very interesting, contract marriage. I like the sound of this because I really want to have children. Thank you so much for this advice. I will research more about it.

Goldmaxx:
Naijaboiy should i post her pics?

You are a disgusting person. This girl that trust you you want to dump her pics on the internet. Give her number to different guys do they can try and have sex with her too. This girl is so stupid to be assiociated with you. You lied to her you were 20. Ortherwise she would never have dated you. 20 and 17 is a very big difference.

After all the help she gave to you during clearance, this is how you pay her back you selfish scoundrel.

She will find out about this and dump you, and I hope she will learn her lesson and keep her legs shut. And when guys chase her, she will not get excited and just start jumping into dating. Na she get time for nonsense person like you.

freddymanny49:
Hello NL,

I don fumble men. Some lady came over to my place to sleep over. As usual things went down that i couldn't help but release my sperm in this young lady. I bought her contraceptive pills to use but it turns out that she didn't use them. Now she called me to tell me that she hasn't seen her period for days now and i banged this chick first Friday of this month.

I am so confused because I have a girl I want to marry and i am truly in love with this girl i want to. My world is crashing because of a stupid choice i just made by sleeping with an ex without a condom. Now she wants
to keep the baby which I am cool with. My concern is that her people will force me to marry her. I cant marry a woman that i am not in love with.

What do i do? What do i do? I don't want to be forced into marriage because of circumstance.

This chick forced herself on me to sleep with her and i was drunk and under influence of hard drugs when this happened.

Now I am rambling and rambling because I don't genuinely love this girl. She is someone i am not even proud to show the world. The girl i want to marry comes from an affluent background just like i do. How do i handle this?

Thank God I am celibate single by choice, I would rather be single tht date assholes like this, I pity that stupid girl wey put her trust in you. Nonsense!

Some girls don't know that it is better to focus on your own life, your career, ignore worthless pretentious guys till God make you and the right man meet each other. Even then, don't have sex with him untill after traditional wedding.

LivingHuman:
A 6-year-old boy identified as Emmanuel was allegedly macheted yesterday by his stepfather for 'buying him bread instead of cigarette' in Calabar.

According to a report by CalabarHotspot, the boy (who now has a deep cut on his right hand) was rescued by a child rights organization, Basic Rights Counsel.

See the photo below. Viewers discretion advised...

Source: http://www.cambellsblog.com/2017/05/boy-macheted-by-his-step-father-for.html

The woman that married this monster think say na marriage she dey. How can a man treat his stepson like this.

Xway:
Lol they are sounding it down my ears already.
To get married on my 25bd
Iam not comfortable with that either.
Girls detest introvert guys like me a lot.
And dats why such date fixed cannot work for me.

U got to manage ur problem sis.

Eh yah.

As for me, I take it one day at a time.

padiga047:
Op you are just frustrated that you are not married yet.


Don't think too much about marriage, focus on yourself and when the time is right your man will come for you.


You may not know it, but there is a man eyeing you somewhere. Free yourself from prejudices and he will come for you.


Lastly love is like sleep, the more desperate you are for it, the more it eludes you.

If I was frustrated my brother I would have been married, I would have carted myself off, to someone years ago. I am just tired of this status quo.

Sometimes I wish, I was a man nobody would be given me this pressure. I would not be scared of my partner beating me(how many wives beat up husbands?). I will just continue being good in my job, and have only two duty, providing money and fucking. And make my partner do everything else cooking, washing, going to the market to buy the foodstuff, birthing the children, and if her vagina isn't tight enough after the 1st or 2nd month of her delivering the baby, find some young 20-23 year old girl, tight nice pussy to Bleep. Untill after a few months, and if I don't feel like paying for a nanny, I won't she should do all the housework, and raisimg the children by herself. I am the man of the house, I go out when I want. I come back when I want. If she starts to check through my phone and one way or the other find out I'm
cheating, and starts to announce it and complain to her family, and dare not stop when I tell her. I will give her slap and beat the stupidity and arrogance out of her. Woman I paid bride price for, I will kick her out of my house. There cannot be two captains in one ship. Its either she obeys me, no matter what I do or she goes and marries herself. Nonsense. Already she is not looking young, just three children her belly is big like bag of cocoyam. There are many other old women like her and young girls looking for husband. Desperate for marriage. Oh if only I was born male.

Oyindidi:
There is wahala dear, you sound pained in your opening post. I know you are doing all this for a purpose but the kind of man you're looking for is hard to come by. And you are a proud lady, no man want a woman that is too proud in his home. Just saying. Love you

There is only dignity, not desperation...

Oyindidi:
Keep bragging till you pay bill at 70 with no man to rub your back.

No wahala.

Lewaluv:
You are very smart. You and GOD both know what you want. He will give you. Dont let anyone or society to force you into foolishness.

Thank you.

Headlesschicken:
Dey dia dey decieve yuhself,u think its always right 2challenge a man @d least provocation, dat x 1of yuh on doing,if u fink yuh 2self reliant n don't need 2b under any man,better go n look 4a man n pay his bride price, be humble remember yuh clock don dey tick reach midnight...

It is guys like you that take women for granted.