₦airaland Forum

LWKMD !
In Present day Nigeria, at N50 per Queen Cake, total Cost of that Cake is 5 x 3 x 50 = N750 folks !
You can't beat that Cost Savings scheme even if you wanted to.

olabbAbyla: Let's assume you've agreed to date him,next u write out a list of negative qualities u don't want in a man.e.g he must not be selfish, uncaring,greedy, bossy,bad tempered,impatient etc.next-u'll become an actress acting these things out.e.g u want to knw if he's genuinely caring:switch your mood, becom moody nd even ask him to leave u alone,(just offend him)few hrs later or d next day,send. Txt dt u are ill.wen he comes, form vomiting,do all sort of things capable of pissing someone off.let it b around d time he'll b @wk or has lectures,this is to know whether u're a priority or reserve.did he com as soon as he was thro or @his leisure.wen he comes watch his facial expressns,actions,hw concerned he feels etc never let him knw its a test.
If u want to knw if he will block your progress if u married him,tell him u'v been appointed a leader@an organisation you belong,sweet tongue d post and d responsibilities etc watch his reaction. To know If he is one dt will fight nd beat u over your income,tell him your dad or someone gave or deposited some large money in your account for u.wait for few weeks to c if he comes up asking for a loan. Further, refuse him nd watch d reaction for some days Etc
For each test score him nd be objective.never expect that he can be better/change his attitude.strain yourself to do him som favour nd see if he enjoys it or feels so concerned that u went all d way to do that for him.etc all in all pray for divine guidance.
Check his family(d siblings, d mother etc)can u cope with them?does this guy have a future?,is he enterprising, is he God fearing?, does he respect your family,etc
B o Luck

...and when they finally get "the One" that passes the test (like the 37th candidate) you'll be there to award them a combined honors Ph.D in "Suspicion (Spousal Surveillance & Tracking), Bitching and Self-righteousness".
Na wa O!
Realistically, first off, are you truly deserving of a person with the character you desire? Learn to observe your intending-beloved in their natural habit, when they're at their standard temperature and pressure (STP) letting their hair down, warts and all.
I wouldn't recommend working up so many bench-test scenarios, a few at most is human. What you're suggesting my dear borders on being paranoid, is manipulative and emotionally fraudulent. You won't mind being administered a dose of your own medicine I'm sure.
What I'm saying is invest quality & quantity time with your intended and observe reactions. Spontaneous situations will arise that you'd otherwise not have been able to orchestrate yourself that'll reveal the true person in a gradual unwrapping layer by layer. Individuals can't pretend much around family & work colleagues. Make some interaction with the persons friends.
Observe reactions and conversation. Don't make excuses for patterns of behavior that surface.
Talk alot and talk about as much as is comfortable for both of you at that stage of the relationship (don't go asking what her favourite sex position if you're not that close, she'll leave you cold or you'd get an excited LovePeddler). Invest some time with the person. Or you'd go loony with your psycho test.
Please Stay True to You, don't lose yourself trying to find your other half because when you do, you'd still miss out on the person.
Cheers.

Cutejay: We are not married yet, but i knew he was ok for me because i hated sex with a passion even just a touch from my boyfriend irritated me then,i even made up my mind not to do it anymore untill i get married cuz i saw it as a sin. After i broke up with him, i met this guy everything flowed naturally,he was the man i saw in my vision when i was praying,someone i hadnt met before. But when we started dating i couldnt help myself he made my world spin and still does and when we have sex its like the most beautiful thing i've ever had without any resistance on my part and now we are in a very serious relationship,he has 80% of the qualities i want in a man,i said 80 cuz no1 is perfect. I know it would be a happy ending.

Hmm...allow me make some logical deductions.
Frank question 1st: are you seriously thinking of getting married to the new guy ?
Deductions -
1. You hated having sex with your boyfriend in your previous relationship simply because the guy was HORRIBLE in bed, infact so bad & it was uncomfortable you equated sex to sin, and that "sin" with him was particularly not worth it.
2.You got tired of "sinning" with him and were glad you both broke up.
3. The new guy is so good, "sinning" is fun again, Yay!
Infact he's so good he gets 80% on your scoresheet. Probably because that criterion alone carries that same percentage on your scoresheet.
Who knows what makes up for the 20% left.
Sex is important my dear, but not as important as you're seeming to make it.
Anyways, my point: take an objective look at your relationship with the future in view. Stop letting sex alone cloud your head. Well, I'll refer you back to the first question I asked again. Your response then determines how you'd take all I've said.
Wish you luck with your future. Please don't f.uck it all away.
Cheers.

@OP
This is purely my opinion.
Lets start with your self-portrait. We want a frank solution, we ask Frank questions. I will not pat you on the back, or throw you a pity party because you don't need that right now. Neither will me cursing him help you right now.
How well did you know him ? (I didn't say how long). Like other posters have asked, did you see such tendencies before now while you courted and choose to ign? Did his family members try hinting you about this way back then ?
How well did you know his friends ?
His behaviour is being reinforced by them: he broke down and cried when yourself & his ex took him by surprise and his friends partake in the deception. Your husband loves you & the kids (yes, he does, crocodile tears that day or not) but he respects his friends far more and feels a need to 'man up' to their opinion of a manhood. There lies your major problem. Severing his link with them is the first step otherwise when its just both of you he goes sober, but on returning to their company he dumps his resolve.
It will take a new level of subtle & patient wisdom to 'wean & win' him from them.
They're not exactly "strange" women-strange women have no conscience and are always ready to flaunt it in your face that your husbands getting jiggy with them, you have reason to be grateful in that regard. I'll advise you not act paranoid, always waiting to catch him cheating. I'm not sure but I feel you should appeal to his "fatherly instincts" by encouraging him to have short play time with your kids. If your kids can talk, next time he doesnt come home have them ask him on the phone why he isnt coming back that night after they've built some rapport.
I hope this gives you a start with getting a solution and sincerely pray you return to this thread in the not-so-distant future so we can share in your joy that things are better.

BlueDiva: Most applicants should know that 80% of applications received by most HR organizations are thrown out.
You wonder if these applicants even went to school.

Below is a sample of responses from applicants on a job site.

pls i have passion 4 banking wks. I have an OND in buz admin wit upper credit grade.25yrs of age   

I am *** from Ondo State. As an experienced financial parachuter, i like to team up with *** Bank in this open opportunity and discharge the workload values in me for the benefit of this bank only if in can be given a trail


My motive is to effect a great positive change in the society and banking industries, especially **** bank. And believing in the efficient utilization of human mind that enhance innovation and creativity taking into consideration the importance of team work. Also a master minder of a result in a team work.

,i have ond in accounting from osun state polytechnic,iree with an upper credit merit.i like a banking work and i will like to be help through it.my phone number is

No disrespect, these people should learn how to ride okada instead.

Choi !!!
I have officially died...thrice !!!
^{<falls from the tree branch where he was chewing pako and watching the early morning Lagos traffic>}

achmed1: When it comes to job help everybody just go silent.

...and you're wondering why they don't respond ?
They're saving themselves from a ballistic missile, that's why mate.
Try brushing up on your grammar mate.