10000% right!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello,

         Glad you have identified this issue and are seeking help, Well I’m not a specialist However, I can tell you this much, First course of action is to analyze your life, determine what’s causing your emotional instability, could it be something that happens in you child hood, could it be the effect of a bad or abusive relationship?, low self-esteem, ECT, When you have done this. Your next step is to find ways to accommodate your shorts comings…,  whether its seeking help or just excluding toxic people from your life,

Finally try journaling every day and if you cant commit to this daily then when you are feel emotionally out of control then begin to write about your feelings trust me this works wonders, good luck and I want to leave you with an entry from my private journal, hope it helps god bless, 

Milk and Honey for my soul:  In my life of trying to discover me….I have learned  that the verse in the bible that proclaims “ So a man thinks so is he”  has be one of  the most noblest concepts known to man….So a man thinks….For so long I thought of my self through the image of “abuse as a child” or the scorn words I received from relationships of people that didn’t understand me or where I been….perhaps from the bad choices I mad in life…. I have allowed all these obstacles to dictate what I thought of myself…, but I have learned that what I think of me and the way I  treat myself is how people will see me and treat me…the important thing is to believe in your self even if no one else does…dream big but accomplish more…, daily I must milk and honey myself with sweet words of encouragement…”.you are wonderfully created in gods image therefore I will accomplish great things today”…, or… “wow I’m really working this dress today”……”Wow I did a wonderful job cooking dinner” ……it is important for us to all ways lift our self’s up to the highest….so a man thinks so does he become…think great be great…, God bless and thanks for sharing in this journey with me   
“It is not the world outside of you that dictates your circumstances or conditions. It is the world inside of you that creates the condition of your life” (by Kilanko Oluwaseun)

OMG!!!!! Absolutely breathe taking!!!!! so now I realize this type of love truly exist, I feel inspired to continue my search for someone that truly loves me, Wow Satan must be really defeated to know that he is powerless in his journey to divide marriages, GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY HE IS PLEASED GOD SAID a man should love his wife as Christ love the church, you have unquestioningly made the angles in heaven dance god bless,

I believe that you shouldn't trust her she is a liar,  so tacky for a lady; this lady is a master con and a swindler, please!!! Please!!!! Please!!!! If you want to forgive, in spite all she has done then go for it…,  Ultimately the decision is yours…However; MAKE HER TAKE A HIV TEST TWICE!!!!!! 6mos apart,  USE PROECTIONTION!!!!!!!! she is up to something believe me,  all of a sudden she is begging you to sex her. smells a little fishy,  HOWEVER…… in the event that this lady is sincere,  then if you really love her and want to try, then this will be a great time for you to take your position as a man,  one thing for sure…. if you give a lady the upper hand in the relationship, then trust me… she will captain the ship the entire journey…. and it is almost impossible to regain control, lay down the law, women respect a man more if he can take authority and not be pushed around like a boy….now this doesn’t mean hit her …… it simply means set boundaries and make sure they are engraved in stone!!!!!!!!, good luck and god bless.

scored a perfect 10 in my book!!!!!!! Keep them coming

Hello,


        I don’t believe the other posters meant insult by inquiring age its necessary to better advise you.  However, your confidence is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.  Most guys, (assuming he is a well matured man)… like women with confidence because she doesn’t have to be continually reassured all the time. (In most cases, such women that lack confidence wants a man to always remind her of her self worth), on the contrary, a women with confidence already knows this without doubt….She also know how to spark of a conversation, how to take control and handle a situation and can pretty much light up a room, fit in anywhere,  ECT,  Let's stop here as I believe you heed my point.

On the other hand,  if we are talking of a young male say 16-22yrs,  then his definition of confidence could simply mean "swagger" the way you dress, your hair, your nails, ect,  this is my opinion but some may disagree due to cultural differences, however, I hope this helps

@outstrip

    Thanks for your insight and I respect your opinion. ( he wanted a kid) , Futher more I wont make excuses, I had a few miss judgments in my youth but by god's grace I’m am kept by the blood, I’m happy, healthy,  my kids are healthy and we don’t lack anything. (So many young women w/kids no/kids are so worst off), it is so easy for folks to pre judge you by your pass situation,  However, the right thing to do is judge by how you choose to continue your journey, IM proud of my family, sure I could have taken the easy way out and aborted my son,  women do it here everyday, however I chose to give life and I have no regrets, as for my marriage I didn’t expect it to end but I was a young girl (17 when we met) (19 when we married) and I didn’t make the best decision….life goes on

This is the funniest site I’ve ever explored!!!

 @na2day (can I take your legs and tell u the same thing?), I fell out my seat laughing my boss ask me was I okay    



Re: The Most Romantic Thing Your Partner Has Told You?

 There have been countless of sweet nothings whispered by my man; however the only one I remember is when he said "here is my credit card, go buy something nice", OMG I miss him so much!!!!!  

^^^^

    THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS!!!!!! THE WORDS SPOKEN FROM A GREAT PHILOSOPHER!!!!!! NIGERIA"S FINEST HAVE YET SHOWED HER INTELLECTUAL ABILITIES ONCE AGAIN!!!!!! WOOOOOOW!!!!! [/b]

@KC
 
        OMG!!!!! I shouldn't entertain such ignorance but what the heck!!!!             

          One way to cover up stupidity and a lack of intellectual abilities is thru hostilely and rudeness, I think when you go attacking people for their opinions you are clearly brainless miss lady. Hence there is no wrong or right opinion here, however be for you comment make sure you read cleary, (that was my purpose for my statement to you),  he asked for a friendly way to approach the situation, YOU will be fine try reading a book or something I heard it helps cure ignorance!!!!

@CrazyKid               

            I’m sorry but I totally disagree with what you are suggesting,  this guy said,  How do I politely (n without inflicting any hurt) let her know I do not find interest in ds serious proposal??

             Keep in mind that the two have mutual friends so for future encounters he must be polite so that he wont have to deal with the bitterness from the female that's being rejected. Besides what if has a negative affect on the mutual friend? trust me your advice is how a immature kid would go about the situation, no offense

Hello

               In my opinion, if a guy isn't interested in me, and he wants to let me know w/out Inflicting pain then his approach should be something like this.

                                         1 pull me aside where there is a private place to talk. 
                                         2. Find something nice about me (I think you are a very beautiful lady)
                                         3. at this point he should tell me in a very serious manner, I'm not ready or i'm not seeking anything  beyond friendship with you, 
                                         4. At this point he should add his best wishes and excuse himself!!!   



      Very simple and the girl should respect you for your honesty,  well unless she's American then she may find you even more likeable and then stalk you hehehe joking,  hope all work-out for ya goodluck!!!!!!

@na2day,

Why would I post my pic o hehehe!!!! , So that one of your peeps can post it on one of those sugar-daddy websites, then be living good in Lagos some where, collecting U.S dollars on my behalf, !!!!! Hey please don’t all attack me at once, it was a joke, LOL!!!!! I love this site I have never laughed so much….I’m going to tell all my fellow Americans of my wonderful discovery!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t see much wrong with your hubby asking you to loose a lil weight!!! I think that you are being a little too sensitive!!! However I do agree that it should not cause dispute b/t you guys and that he should approach this issue in a more loving manner, but again that’s your hubby and he just want you both to shine. I don’t think its personal……. Besides you should want to look your best for him. I say this with all due respect, because I am a mommy as well, and I know the importance of keeping ourselves in shape for health as well as appearance….Remember you want to keep his eyes.

@Ujujoan!!!!!

Very bitter pill but I swallowed!!!!!! Thanks and God Bless!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to everyone for your comments good and bad, it has helped me better understand my situation, I'm no longer concerned with finding a Mr. right I have decided to just allow god to work it out, I'm truly thankful for the insights on this post even the harsh comments, because it has allowed me to do a lot of reflecting…. again thanks to all and God bless….For the record, for those who stated that perhaps I did something that caused guy #2 to cheat…(that’s a possibility, I definitely had my fair share in our issues he wanted me to divorce right away…However, where I’m from divorces are not a one day process…there is just so much involved) Inaddition, I felt that he was struggling with his commitment due to the kids(maybe I’m wrong because we have talked about it and he denied that kids were an issue, Moreover, I also understand that in the African culture family dictates a lot so even if he accepted me getting to his family would have been too much of an issue for him I assume) …, #2 FOR THOES THAT THINK I RAN OUT ON MY HUSBAND THAT’S FAR FROM THE THUTH…I DEALT WITH HIS LAZINNESS FOR YEARS, B/T JOBS, NO JOBS, FIGHTING, AND SO MUCH MORE…I FINALLY REALIZED THAT MY KIDS NEEDED A BETTER FOUNDATION SO THEY WOULD HAVE A BRIGHTER FUTURE…I REFUSE TO RAISE MY KIDS ON THE SYSTEM THAT OUR GROVENMENT PROVIDES BECAUSE IT CONTROLS US AND LABE US AS USELESS MEMBERS OF SOCITEY…SO I HAD TO MAKE A DICISION AND I Decided THAT IT WAS TIME TO LEAVE…, TODAY I HAVE NO REGRETTS ABOUT MY DIVORCE, I WORK FULL TIME, SCHOOL PART-TIME,(WITH MY 4 LOVELY KIDS) IM DOING MY THING!!!!! IM HAPPY APART FROM MY PERSONAL LIFE (ROMANCE) EVERTHING ELSE IS A BLESSING…

I'm sorry about your situation I know the pain of being lied to and cheated on, Just as the other poster replied, why marry in the first place?? obviously he is still in love with his ex because he is considering her feelings b4 urs, (he is just telling her what she want to hear) Maybe he is just doing the same to you, Apart from that you guys are married so you have a few choices, #1 you can go to her as a women and ask her if there is something B/T them, or…#2 you can seek the advice of his elders just as you mentioned, however there should be standards set, if he wanted her he should have stayed w/her, however he married you, and therefore….you should respectfully demand respect as his wife, I really hopes this helps…, good luck!!! And god bless.

Thanks to all with at least a sensible point of view, Big thanks to all with positive insight on my situation, I do understand things a lot better now, In addition I’m not in opposition to truthful opinions…However, it goes back to the old saying, if you don’t have anything significant to say, then don’t comment at all…An educated individual can express themselves in an intellectual manner…Rudeness is a sign of ignorance …as women we should elevate each other not tantalize one another…….again thanks to all

Thanks for the replies…, However, there are different situations in life SO EVERY WOMAN WITH KIDS SHOULDN'T BE ABASHED!!!!!! Immature minds will think just as you are, for the record I been with my husband since the age of seventeen, so my kids are the result of an 11 year marriage. Regretfully, things didn’t work-out…, Anyway, good luck and again thanks for the replies, I’m way to mature TO INTERTAIN NON SENSE THE ONLY RESASON I ASK WAS FOR MATURE HELPFUL ADVICE,

I understand that you are going thru a hard time right now, but remember all things work for the better of thoes who love GOD, Recite this to yourself or out loud onec a day, I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.
(Martha Washington), Good luck and God bless

[b]I NEED SOME SERIOUS FRIENDLY AND HONEST ADVICE, what is the real reason men are afraid to marry a women that has children, Brief summer: I was married for ten years to an African American man, at some point he became lazy and decided that he wanted to be a house dad, while I bring home the bacon and cook it too, well I struggle with the thought of divorce because at this point, we had three children. However, after being separated for a while, I met an African and fell head over hills with this man, no offense to my AA brothers, but after this guy, I didn’t even want to look at an African American man anymore….And still don’t….Well we were together for 4years strong and then somewhere he fell off and decided that he no longer wanted to be faithful. This is after we had a kid together, so in conclusion, what went wrong My heart tells me he may have realized that he bit off more than he could chew, I don’t know but it seems that women with kids are frowned upon…….why is this??   Any insight would be greatly appreciated.