₦airaland Forum

Mot utile vous comprenez Anglais (formelle et a plusieurs personne)

Tu comprends Français (forme familière)

Tu connais la tour d′Effel ?

Vous connaissez le Nigeria ?

Vous comprenez ? (1)

Dans une réception (in a reception)

Anne ː bonjour tu parles français ?

Julio ː oui un peu

Anne ː et elle ? Et lui ?

Julioː elle parle bien français, lui il ne parle pas français

Take note

Je is used for the first person of the verb je parle Français, (I speak French)

Tu, is used to address a younger person or familiar person

Vous, is used to address a group of people or in a formal environment or an elderly person.

Les verbes en er

Parler (to talk)

Je parle français nous parlons allemand

Tu parles espagnol vous parlez yoruba

Il/elle parle anglais ils/elles parlent igbo

Traditionally women are perceived as second fiddle to their husband as a result we count the number of women that get to that peak of success; the achievement of every women is an inspiration and encouragement to everyone particularly women and the upcoming generation

It is very important to bring up a girl child to have confidence in herself and self-esteem, exposed them to reading, to creativity, and challenge their mind. Change the mindset of the girl child that is only through a man that she can get what she want or through sex. These days with what we see and read on social media is all about young girls portraying themselves as sex object even the educated girls with university degree, Is quite disappointing, their dressing their speaking and reasoning always revolves around what they can get from a man, few come out with creative ideas, they want big phones cars and all the luxury of life without working for it, we can really blame the attitude of these girls, most were brought up with the idea that no matter what achievement she get she end up in a man kitchen . Many men still believe that no matter how a woman is educated or ambitious her position is in the kitchen, the only reason why some allow their wife’s to work is because they need her financial support to manage the home. Today many women are beginning to see that they must do something meaningful with their life’s refusing to be suppressed by their husband, though not all men have that mentally some do truly encourage their wife’s in any project she desire to get engaged into.

Below are the names of some woman who have greatly impacted on the lives of many and made African women proud.

The Nigeria activist Obiageli Ezewesili a former World Bank vice president in 2007, former minister of education and a pioneer champion of bring back our girls, she is smart and daring, hates injustice and bad governance, she never hesitate to voice out her unhappiness over any injustice.

The late green leader in Kenya Wangari Mathai, a Nobel prize winner for a better environment encourage everyone to plant a tree every day to avoid natural calamity.

Angeline Kidjo from Bénin a musician won a Grammy award.

Myriam Makeba a South African used her voice during the apartheid era to fight for freedom.

Late Fumilayo Ransome-Kuti a Nigerian was a teacher, political campaigner, woman right activist. The first woman to drive a car, the one to fight for women to vote, she was the doyen of women right activist.

Alengot Oromait from Uganda became the youngest African woman parliamentarian at age 20.

Marriage was created by God, he made man and woman and he said a man will leave his parent and becomes one with his wife, is two people coming together to become one. Marriage is for better for worst till death does us apart in sickness in poverty and riches, but today is becoming so hard to maintain those vows since divorce is on the rise.

Over the course of a marriage that can last a life time, a lot happens personality’s changes body’s changes and romantic love that was strong begins to diminish as time goes on, routine set in no more sparks in the marriage. No marriage is free of conflict, but how we manage the conflict makes the differences.

Why marriage is important in our life

Is the beginning of a family, and is a lifelong commitment. It also provide an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and your children, marriage is more than a physical unio9n, it is a spiritual and emotional union

How do we keep the spark in marriage?

Almost all marriages start out as huge celebration, together with families and friends. Each couple is filled with hopes and dreams for their future life together, but the road to a happy marriage is far from easy that is why many marriage ends up in divorce, because after years of been married with children everything sets into routine, household chores, preparing children for school or bed, etc. the woman is ever exhausted no time for herself and she has no time for her husband. Remember the children will grow soon and leave you but your husband will always be there, so make your marriage work and always find time for your husband.

Women should be really appreciated for the good work they are doing in the society. She is a mother, a professional, a counselor and wife; all these roles she plays daily.

She wants to be a good wife as well as been intellectually stimulated by a good career, or bring in a second income to help her family income. For some it is a full existing life, for others it is overwhelming with so much to do.

The typical day of a woman

With the heavy hold-up in major cities, if she has to be at work on time, she has to wake up by 5. am, put water on fire for the children and the husband to bath, while the water is boiling she is cleaning the house, preparing breakfast for the family including the snacks that the children will take to school. Is not easy for her most time she is tired, before seven am she leaves the house then she drops the children in school before going to work, at work a work load of files awaits her attention she barely has time for lunch, at 5.30pm she leaves the office for home to face another hold- up. She gets home by 7pm and enters the kitchen to prepare dinner check the children homework and help them with it, after dinner wash the dishes, prepare the children for a bath and prepare them for bed. When the children go to bed she has 30 or 40mn to chat with the husband before going to bed by 10 or 10.30pm she is totally exhausted and sleep off. That is about the daily activity of every working mother.

How it all started

I remember reading a novel in the early two thousand that said the next business in the world was going to be sales of organs. In the early nineties girls were coming from all the neighboring countries to Nigeria seeking for agent that will take them abroad, then it was Italy, I remember that in every family in Cameroon south west and Nigeria particularly Edo state had at least one daughter in Italy. Married women also left their matrimonial home to go for greener pasture in Italy; little did they know what awaited them, the agent who organizes their travelling feed big on them.

Condition of work

According to their stories the agent provided the passport, the wears and accommodation and the ticket money, when they got to Italy they were either sent into prostitution homes or farms depending on their looks. Once they are in Italy their passport are ceased and they are giving condition of how they are going to repay whatever was spent on them for three or four years, during these years they are supposed to obey and not argue or complained. Among the women that traveled abroad not many went voluntary some were deceived and told that they were going to work abroad and make a lot of money to support their family none were told that they were going into prostitution or hard labor in farms.



Work without pay

Day and night their jobs was to sleep with any man they were asked to, they had no choice, at the end no money was paid to them the owner kept everything, Dresses were bought for them and medical care was provided for them with food of course, many on realizing this is what they were brought abroad for rebelled. Rebellion brought severe beating and punishment which means you are forced to sleep with several men a day without eating and still receive beating. The rejected ones after several punishments were sent to work in farms. Meanwhile the money that you earned through this very difficult situation might never be paid to you, or you might be under paid, or be indebted to them forever, or till when they can’t be used for sex anymore, the payment is ever complicated. You are not allowed to go out to visit places; you are not allowed to get close to any client, if a client demand for you twice they become suspicious, you are not even allowed to communicate with your family; they are that wicked, even olden days slaves were treated better than these lady’s.

I wonder why drugs have become so rampant nowadays among the youths. I remember my growing up years in the eighties; it was not common or heard of girls indulging in drugs or cigarette, yeah we had some girls who were naughty and may have indulge in smoking cigarette or with a cigar, at the pool but hard drugs hmm unusual, it was not easy to get and common like now. My mates and I in the eighties were in our early teens that were exposed to educative films, respectful to our parent event scared of them; we were mostly from average homes with very educated parents, who were senior civil servant. In most homes women were full time housewife’s, who were always around whenever you got home. To go out after school, you had to take permission explaining where you were going to, and whom you were going to see. In those days there was no mobile phone, just land line phone that was in the parlor where everyone hangs around to watch TV, to read or just sit especially our parents, so when the phone rings everyone attention is drawn to the phone to know who is calling. Everyone is listening to your conversation and at the end of the conversation they either knew who was calling or they ask you. Our parent especially our mum knew our friends and places we visited.

I went to government school so my friends where from all levels the rich, the poor, very poor and the average. I visited friends living in very populated areas with all kinds of people including criminal’s big and small ones yet, I never came across hard drugs, or had any friends who ever spoke of drugs, not to talk of taking it. When we went to the village visiting we never saw or heard drugs been peddled or consumed, it was in the early nineties while in the higher institution that I heard of marijuana and saw people taking it, then later heroin and cocaine was the in things.

Trendy

It was sold in every corner of Lagos especially heroine which was injected in to the nerves by an injection shared by many; later it was the in thing in every big party you attended in Lagos, cocaine and heroin were part of the menu. If you were not careful you find yourself following the trend, it was truly the trend in Lagos in those days, then people had not known how damaging it was and those who took these substances abuse were not children but young adults, even at then you had to be financially ok to take these drugs, I never saw them smoking anyhow or anywhere like is done now

When people discover how damaging and destructive these drugs were in the early nineties and middle nineties many became afraid of it and many became aware of how evil and damaging it was to the body. So how come drugs are still the in thing today not among adult only but among teens smoking it everywhere, and anyhow without regards or respect for anyone. The painful thing about it is that you see young girls and boys within the age of 15 and 16 sitting in joints, smoking among very mean hard face scary men, heavily drugged by all kind of substance.



How they get involved in drugs?

The question is how does this kind of children get in contact with drugs? In this heavy populated area where majority of unskilled people and illiterate leave, majority of the parent are petit trader both men and women sell hard alcohol like (ogogoro, erujeje, and ethanol etc.) with cigarette and some sell marijuana, tramadol, Eskom . In these environments even police are scared to come there, these petit traders are assisted by their children, from a very tender age, they are exposed to vulgar words, to cheap hard alcohol drinks, to cigarette and to marijuana and capsules with other form of drugs, for these children to survive they go for errand for these clients who patronize their parent shop so that they have little extra to eat and in return are given a drag of the smoke and a token

Sex is a pleasurable act done with his/her partner in love and in marriage. Today what we see around is enough to make every parent scared for our teenage children, my son who is not even 12 years was telling me about condoms the other day, I was truly surprised, at the same time, i was not too surprised because our children are exposed and bombarded with sex news through social media, music videos or lyrics and films. The message passed to them is wrong, as parent with teen children we are dealing daily with our children conflict personality, it’s a very a difficult age, for the child who is trying to know his/her body and feelings, and for the parent who is trying to inculcate discipline, because that is the age that the girl child is comparing herself to her mother, wants freedom, and start having sexually feeling, the body is changing breast growing, shape forming hair in the armpit and pubic place is growing she is discovering herself.

Rebellious age

She becomes very rebellious even the male child becomes rebellious, to avoid the teen child getting his/her information of sex from friends and the public , we as parent must apply patience with them, draw them closer to us, avoid exchanging words with them, be present and discuss their day with them. It’s during this daily discussion that you will discuss sex, men; women (ie woman to woman) yes ooh you must discuss with them that woman will also want sex with them.

Educate your child on sex

We are living in a world now where sex has been bastardize, all kind of sexual plays has been introduced, as parent you must be knowledgeable of all the sexual ways that men or women will lure the teen child into, lesbianism as well as other form of sexual act which are currently in vogue, like having sex through video call, we know most of our children have android phone, and I can bet everything I have, that most parent whose children have these android phones, do not check what they browse on the phone or with whom they chat .

Various types of sex acts that parents must be aware of

Another aspect of why women are treated as sexual object, that is looked upon as merely as a sexual desire for a male pleasure, is because of the media, the media has a major role to play in the way woman are portrayed, why are men not frequently used as sex object, naked or half naked to advertise products or in films as a male prostitute? It boils down to the fact men and boys are more valued in the society than women. The majority of Nigerian film particularly <Yoruba film> always portrays women as weak, cheap, and available for sex at all time for money. Very annoying why a so called actress or a woman film director who claims to be educated, will be using her talent and education to pass negative messages to the public? Why portray a woman in this 21st century as ever available for sex money, as a nonentity, almost naked for advert or films? For over hundred years women have been fighting for the betterment of women especially in empowerment, to occupy respectable position to earn a good remuneration as equal as that of men; without been harassed sexually, or as intimacy gadgets for the pleasure of men, for promotion in the office and whatever. What is the point of educating the girl child if at the end of all, she will often be passing messages to the public that been a intimacy gadget for men pleasure is a better way of earning money after have been dehumanized. Women should value themselves and dictate how men should treat them. Women should choose part that values women, which do not promote them as sex object, but promote them as successful career women, successful mothers, politician etc.

The bad effect of TVs on our children mind

The intelligence, competence and creativity of our women actresses should be more displayed than their bodies. Let’s remember that not many parent truly have time, or are around to control what their children watch on TV or cable station; let’s not forget that images and video sticks in our mind forever, especially in children minds, daily our media and film industries are propagating sex, giving more values to sex and prostitution rather than family core values and morals, all we watch on media is women half-dressed breast exposed to the public particularly these our actress or public figures women, who are supposed to be our role models. Many children who are left on their own without proper parental care are having android phones today, where they continuously watch these things not only on TV or cables but on social media, just tell me why rape will not quadruple or prostitution or runs another form of prostitution will not be on the rise, Including violence.

Let’s change the mind set of our women to be hard working and respectable

Sex and money promote violence, many young girls who watch these films think that through sex with a rich man will automatically become rich, let’s change the mind set of our women who are public figure to portray women as independent hard working women, not lazy, intelligent and creative women irrespective of the economy situation in our countries.

In 1920 American women voted for the first time due to the battle that women like Susan B Anthony who was born in 1820 into Quaker family and believed that men and woman should work and live as equal. In this course of fight other woman like Elizabeth C. Stanton, with Alice Paul were at the forefront of equality among men and women. For over 1oo years women have fought and continued fighting till these days so that women can be represented in all professional fields, for equal remuneration, and change marital law that will favor the woman and her children, and protection laws from marital violence and sexual abuse. Yet it seems like not much has been achieved, to be honest there been a tremendous achievement in the struggle.

Result of the struggle

The struggle of women has come a long way, The 1995 Beijing convention that was attended by women all over the world brought about the 8th march celebration of woman day to show you, how woman have not relented in their fight for equality in all aspect. This woman day celebration reminds us of the much work we still have to do because of the consistent rapes, sexual assault in work places, and curbing woman and girl trafficking abroad.

Why

In 2018 marital violence has increased, raped children and women has multiplied, women used as sexual tools and sexually assaulted by men before they can be giving jobs has increased. Few Africa women have held presidential position, and key ministerial positions. Women still looked upon as sex tool? Why has rape become rampant? Especially, children been raped? It really bothers me, could woman be portraying themselves as sex objects? Or thus poverty has a role to play in it? Or has it got to do with upbringing?

Total empowerment achievable

A united nation general committee meeting that was held in October 2011 on equal right empowerment said woman empowerment can be a change agent for sustained socio-economic development and security. What it means that the equal right that we have been fighting for over the years has not been fully achieved that is why insecurity is at its peak, decision making position are still been held by men, equality in remuneration and power sharing among men and women has been not achieved, yes of course we see women in all work force both in public office or in private sector, yet a lot needs to be done for woman to have valor, to be employed because she is qualified, to be promoted to the highest position without sex or bribe. Though you see many women having position as director or perm sec, is not as equal to that of men, when it comes to decision making, the majority carries the vote, and the majority are who? <MEN>; even at social level men are still at the top.

Abused women and girls

Africa has the highest rate of child sexual abuse 34.4% and in 2014 60% of these children’s that are trafficked abroad and are Nigerian children.

Causes

Let look at the causes of the increase of sexual child abuse. Sexual assault encompasses a range of acts including coerced sex in marriage, dating relationships, rape by stranger and demand for sex for jobs or school grade and the worst trafficking of women and girls. Sexual assault is to force someone into an unwanted sex victims mostly women and girls, the cause of sexual abuse can be linked to break down of values in the society no enough enlightenment on the value of the girl child, abuse of sexual verbal words on the children, mentality and attitude that the girl child is only for sex and marriage, in the upbringing of the children the male is preferred to the girl child , many children’s are psychological traumatized, by their parent who abused them physically and mentally.

Many children are badly brought up especially the boy child, without moral or values, and respect for fellow humans, through constant abuse by parents made their children to become unsecured and lack self-esteem, lack of love or care, in fact several factors that cannot all be mentioned, but one thing is certain the struggled must continue.

Possible solution

At this aspect what needs to be done is for women and NGO′S to not relent in their fight against the equal right of women and men in politics and decision making position so that laws and constitutions could be amended to protect and prevent sexual abuse and intimidation and victimization, enough campaign on value system of people, enough public alignment to change the attitude and mentality of people, respect for self and for others, campaign must be done at the grass root, school, church and mosque, families should be involved in playing their major role in the upbringing of their children, women must not hesitate to report to the appropriate agency of the sexual abuse, rape or sexual intimidation that they are going through, and above all offenders should be seriously punished for their monstrosity. It has been proving that in the long run the girl child education will go a long way in boosting the socio-economic and socio-cultural status of a woman in the society. The girl child in class will be off the street where she is firstly exposed to sex.

Culled from: https://www.marylouiseonline.com/women-have-come-a-long-way-in-their-struggle-to-equality/